Episode 4 Continued - Make it Mine
I pulled on the lever of my shower, trying my hardest to turn it on, but it wasn't budging.
I then leaned forward and attempted to inspect it, trying to figure out if it was jammed.
How did Sebastian do this every day? He must've had an iron grip.
I pulled on it then, using my weight to urge it harder.
I suddenly felt hands on my shoulders, making me freeze.
Sebastian just pulled me away, making me stumble a little as I glared at him.
He just sighed shaking his head. "You're going to break it, master." He then turned the lever to the side, and the shower sputtered before spraying onto the floor.
I blinked.
Oh... well now I felt stupid.
"Seriously, can you not do anything without me?" Sebastian said, smirking.
I gave him a look. "I've never turned on a shower before, okay?"
"Spoiled, you are, my lord." He sighed and stepped around the room. "I'll go get your soaps. Be right back."
"I can shower by myself!" I yelled to him.
He just turned from the doorway, smirking. "Sure you can. Definitely. And you can tie your shoes, too."
"Don't give me that sarcasm, you jerk."
He just chuckled and left the room.
I grumbled angrily under my breath and started fumbling with my clothes, struggling to unbutton my shirt.
I fumbled with it harder. "Are you fucking serious right now? I can't even do this? This is bullshit."
Sebastian entered the room seconds later, setting my soaps down on the bathroom counter before sparing me a glance. "Well, if you insist on doing it yourself, I guess I can attend to the finances."
He turned to walk off, but I caught him by the back of his shirt.
He gazed down at me. "Master?"
"Help..." I said, avoiding eye contact. "Please."
He just turned and gazed down at me in amusement. "I thought you wanted to do it yourself like a big girl."
I just glared at him. "I will cut your paycheck in half if you keep this up."
Sebastian just chuckled, shaking his said as he said sarcastically, "Oh, no. Not my paycheck. It's not like I'm an expert at stealing and committing crimes or anything."
I just glared. "Help me. It's... an order."
He just gazed down at me in amusement. "Very well. I shall help."
I then stepped over to the shower as Sebastian closed the bathroom door, and he turned and stepped over to me.
I avoided eye-contact as he knelt down and started unbuttoning my shirt, untying my eye patch and letting it fall seconds later.
I kept my lips thinned as he helped me out from my clothes.
But when I glanced down at him, I noticed he was eyeing the scars on my arm before he looked back to what he was doing.
My lashes lowered then, and he stood up when he was done. "It should be warm now, master."
He opened the shower door, and I stepped in, immediately closing my eyes as the warm water beat gently on my skin.
I sat on the floor like I did every time I showered, and Sebastian just went to grab the soaps as I drew my knees to my chest and set my head on them.
He opened the shower door and knelt beside me, remaining silent as he pulled my hair over my shoulders and started scrubbing my back.
"Does it hurt?" he said then, making my eyes part.
"Does what hurt?"
"Your arm," he said then.
I instinctually hid it under my hair, and it seemed he noticed because he didn't press any further.
"You didn't finish your breakfast, my lord," he said then, making me shift when he started scrubbing my legs. "I gave it to you, and walked out to grab you some extra salt, and when I entered, you were gone, and it was untouched."
I pulled my head up and pushed my legs down when he cleaned off my chest and stomach. "I wasn't hungry."
"You're too skinny, my lord," he said then, moving away and catching some shampoo. "You need nutrition."
I stared down at the floor as he massaged shampoo into my scalp, and I closed my eyes, setting my head on my knees again.
"There's something bothering you," Sebastian stated, rinsing off my hair. "Every time something's bothering you, you refuse to eat. Is it the hospital?"
"I don't want to talk about it," I said then. "So let it go."
He remained silent then, now running conditioner through my strands of hair. "Master, surely there's something I can do."
"I said... I don't. Want. To. Talk. About. It."
He just sighed and let it go, making me exhale a sigh of relief as he rinsed out my hair again. "I'll be right back."
He then walked off, leaving me stranded.
I just remained in my position, relishing in the heat of the shower for a couple more minutes.
He came back seconds later, kneeling by the shower. "I got your towel, master. Are you ready to get out?"
"Give me a couple more minutes," I said.
He watched me for a moment. "Master... are you alright?"
"Peachy, I just want a couple more minutes."
His lashes lowered, and he stood. "Very well. I'll be cleaning up a bit until you're ready."
Before he moved to leave, I stopped him:
"Don't leave."
He glanced back at me. "Master?"
"You heard what I said. Don't leave."
He smiled a little, and I knew very well he was recalling our conversation earlier about "not giving in" but I honestly couldn't care less right now.
I would piss him off later and laugh my ass off. Right now, I just didn't want to be stranded all exposed like this. With my arm... and my eye.
There were probably worse things that I didn't want to expose, but those didn't really matter to me because everyone had them.
Sebastian just sighed and stepped over to the shower, settling on the floor seconds later. "I guess I'll wait here then."
I just remained in place, relishing in the steam for a long moment.
"Is it soothing enough, my lord, or do you want it hotter?" Sebastian said.
"It's fine," I said quietly. "Just stay there."
He just smiled, remaining in place as he crossed his legs, watching me. "Uneasy, my lord?"
"Clearly, now can you be quiet? I'm trying to enjoy myself here."
He just laughed softly and listened, silencing himself as I felt him watching me.
I just parted my lashes, staring at the ground as the water swarmed around me and vanished into the drain.
"Answer this..." I said then, "why do you like my soul so much?"
Sebastian just kept smiling. "You're going to have to be more specific, my lord."
"My soul..." I said quietly, "it's corrupted from trauma. What would you want with it?"
"Hmmm..." he murmured. "I wouldn't say it's corrupted, per say. I'd say it's special."
I glanced over at him curiously.
"Usually when someone experiences that kind of trauma—especially at such a young age—they do not come back from it. They either go insane and become lost in a psych ward, or they cry all the time and feel sorry for themselves, or they blame themselves for everything that happened and just cry, cry. Another thing they do is blame others when it's not their fault and hurt them, they use the trauma as a reason for being a cruel, heartless person. Or... alas... they just become soulless."
I continued watching them. "They give up."
He looked at me and nodded. "Indeed, yes." He then smiled. "But, you, my lord, are a different story. You decided to grow from it, you decided to learn from it. That's why you're so intelligent at such a young age, didn't you know? You demanded that I taught you for a year about everything. And you listened. Not only do you not feel sorry for yourself—and indeed, you want a fool's revenge—but you decided to take this trauma and kill it. Murder it. Because it doesn't make you who you are. You do."
I gazed down at my chest. "So you like the confidence."
"And I like you broken, too," he stated.
I gazed over at him then. "What?"
"Because it makes you human," his eyes were dark, "and it makes your soul softer to the touch."
"So... if I didn't go through this trauma, you wouldn't want me?"
"Oh, I would prevent this trauma, if I could, master. But sadly... I didn't find you in time. And all the other forms before you that took your soul... suffered the same fate, and since I never came into the equation, they all died at a young age."
I gazed down at the floor then, holding myself tighter. "I don't understand you, Sebastian."
"Master Ciel told me that, too," he stated, smiling now. "I'm afraid I don't think you ever will."
I just sighed, shaking my head. "I'm done with the shower."
He stood then and walked over, catching a towel, and he opened the shower door, shutting the water off, and opening the towel for me.
I stood and walked into it.
Sebastian just wrapped it around me, and I nearly gasped when he gathered me in his arms, holding me tightly.
My head was covered by the towel, but I could feel his arms tightening around my form like a cage.
I just lowered my lashes, unsure of what to do.
I just felt his head press to the top of mine, and I remained there for a moment, quiet.
"He tried to kill you," Sebastian said then, voice dark.
He was talking about the Carbon Monoxide thing again. Was it still bothering him?
I felt his arms tighten around me as he growled, "No one seems to understand that you're mine."
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