Anxiety took hold again as I looked at Mitch, Beau and El. They looked back at me with curiosity. I had just assumed seeing my wolf in my reflection was normal, but their reaction said that it wasn’t. I had never thought to ask Lex if she saw her wolf, I had only ever mentioned it to my mother. I was excited at 10 to have seen the gold and white wolf looking back at me when I looked in my bedroom mirror. She had been happy as well. Thinking back, had she been relieved? It was normal to her…was it an alpha thing? Had I just inadvertently exposed myself as an alpha? I swallowed down the sudden nervousness, wetting my lips with a dart of my tongue before finding the words I needed.
“Y-yeah… uhm… I saw her… when I was ten… in my bedroom mirror…” the hesitation was thick in every word. I was almost afraid of their reaction. Would their kindness change upon finding out I had alpha blood?
“That young?” El would mumble, seeming to be deep in thought.
It was hard to keep my anxiety at bay, even though I knew I wasn’t supposed to be stressing so much. It was hard to do anything but when my comment was being taken so seriously. The fear must have been apparent in my eyes, because when El looked up, she gave a soft smile.
“Oh, it’s not bad dear. I promise you that, it’s actually quite good. That means your shift won’t be so painful.” She’d say, trying to reassure me.
I had to ask. I was afraid of the answer, but I just had to know. How much had I just given away about myself with those few simple words?
“What does it mean?” I’d ask, keeping my eyes focused on El.
“The elders know more.” She’d start. “But from what I understand, it means you’re descended from the tribe in the mountains.”
Tribe in the mountains? I hadn’t heard of anything like that before. Mother’s old rogue pack lived near the mountains, but she didn’t speak about them much. I didn’t actually know much of her life before Father, she had been determined to bury it.
“A tribe? Not a pack?” I’d ask, frowning.
“They are a pack.” Mitch would say, trying to help me understand. “But they go by Tribe. From what I’ve heard, they’re one of the firsts to be given a wolf by the Moon, and they’re most connected to her, which is why they can see manifestations of their wolves from an early age, or even use their wolfish abilities without taking fur.”
That made sense, how I saw my wolf in my reflection, how I could feel her guiding me, and how I had been able to use the hunter’s sight earlier. I had always been connected to her, but I had grown up thinking everyone could do the same. To hear it was unique only gave me more questions. If this wasn’t surprising to my mother, what else had she been hiding from me? What else had I inherited from her?
“And…this is unique to their bloodline?” I’d ask. I needed to make extra sure that it wasn’t connected to me being an alpha’s child.
“As far as we know, yes.” El would confirm.
I let out a silent breath. At least I couldn’t be traced back to my father that way. Despite that relief, I could still feel the tension in the air. They were dying to ask where I had come from, how I could be connected to this bloodline. From their burning curiosity, I felt it was safe to assume this tribe kept to themselves. If that was the case, it had to be my mother who was the link. Why had she left this tribe for my father’s pack? Was life really that hard out here? I didn’t want to elaborate and give them my life story, I didn’t know them well enough yet. I worried what would happen if I told them too much too fast, and so I made it clear I wouldn’t be offering up any more information. I remained silent, acting as if I was mulling over this information they had given me, hoping they’d drop their silent pleas for answers to their unspoken questions.
I was thankful when Mari walked down the hall, her small feet making minimal noise. We all turned to look at her, it seemed we all were trying to escape the rising tension of questions. Her arms were piled high with stuffed animals, all hand sewn from the looks of them. She didn’t pay us much mind, either choosing to ignore us or genuinely not seeing us over the pile of toys. She made her way across the kitchen, and through the door I had been brought through for the check up. That was El and Mitch’s room then.
“Anyway, that’s enough of that. If you’re still curious, we can bring you to the Elders tomorrow. Mitch, let the poor girl rest.” El would state, trying to help by breaking the tension.
I appreciated her so much, I could cry right now.
“Right, right. Sorry about that…uh…Cheyenne.” Mitch seemed to struggle to remember my name for a moment, only doubling down on the idea that they took in strays regularly. “When is your birthday? So you don’t have to be alone when you shift. Even if we aren’t a proper pack, I am sure your wolf will appreciate having others to greet her.”
His sentiment was appreciated and I smiled softly. “May second.” I’d say, my gaze falling to the table. Lex turned eighteen a week ago. I couldn’t help but wonder how pretty her wolf was, or if she met her mate when they pack took their initiation run together. A pang went through my chest. If she did…I was supposed to be invited to her wedding. I was a horrible friend, missing it. Even if it wasn’t my fault completely, I was still going to miss one of the most important moments of my best friend’s life.
When I looked up, El had a light in her eyes. “I’ll make sure its as normal as we can make it. We’ve never lived in one of those official packs, so I’m not sure of your customs, but I’ll give you a Silvermaw birthday, and I’m sure you won’t soon forget them.” She’d state, that sweet smile of hers back on her face.
Could I ever be like her, so happy? I had never met someone who smiled as much as she did, except maybe Lex. She was smiling all the time…when she wasn’t getting into a fight with someone at school that was. I returned her smile, and nodded.
“Thank you…I appreciate it, really, but don’t put yourself out for my sake.” I’d state.
I felt bad enough as it was, and it wasn’t like I ever had a normal birthday. Beta Jacks and his wife were usually the ones who threw me a party, my mother being invited last minute as if they worried she’d tell my father and he’d spoil it.
“I won’t, dear. Trust me, the boys are always eager to have something to celebrate.” She’d chuckle.
“Mom makes the best sweets.” Beau would agree. “You’ve never tasted anything like it.”
His enthusiasm made me genuinely smile, and for once I was eager for my birthday. Maybe joining with my wolf and taking fur for the first time wouldn’t be as scary as I had imagined it would be. Even as a child, before any of this happened, I worried I’d shift and be thrown out of the pack since I would be able to take care of myself. That had already happened though, so how much worse could it be? My worst fear had already come to pass.
Mitch had chores to do, and he dragged Beau along with him. Mari had finally returned to her mother’s side, meaning she had finished bringing her favorite toys from her room into her parents’ room. El brought me down the small hallway, turning right and then left into Mari’s room.
Sunflowers were painted along the top portion of the walls, a large wooden sunflower nailed to the door. The room was simple, as El and Mitch’s room was, with a dresser, desk, toy chest, and small bed. Dyes had been used on the pelt placed on the floor as a rug, giving it a pink hue. The bed had white fur for a blanket. El stood by the door as I looked around.
“I’m sorry its so small-” El began.
“It’s perfect, thank you. I really couldn’t ask you for anything and yet you’re giving me so much.” I’d say, visibly fighting my tears.
“It’s the least we could do. Silvermaw is our home, but it’s only as prosperous as it is because of the kindness each member gives. It wouldn’t sit right with me to turn anyone in need away, let alone someone who’s carrying precious life.” El would explain, pulling Mari against her side. “We’ve been blessed with our boys, and then finally with Mari, but I would be lying to myself if I didn’t admit I would love another daughter. Forgive me if I overstep, but I would be honored if you chose to stay here.”
A sob lodged itself in my throat and I tried to swallow it down. She really was too kind. I didn’t think any pack would be so open to a stranger sharing their home.
“I couldn’t possibly intrude like that…Mari will need her room back and a baby is a lot of work-” I began to argue.
“You’re right, they are a lot of work. I’ve raised five myself. And Mari will need her room back, and that baby of yours will need its own room eventually too.” She’d agree with me.
I had been the one to argue, but it strangely hurt to hear her agree with me. Maybe a part of me had hoped she wouldn’t agree. That I would be able to stay.
“Which is why we need to get started on a new addition to our house immediately. We can at least have one new room added by your due date.” She’d say with a smile.
“Oh…El…” I went to argue again, it wasn’t my nature to merely accept kindness. I had to work for it, my father had made that clear.
“No, I don’t want to hear any more excuses. If you’ll let us, we’d love for you to stay.” She said with a smile. “I spoke with Mitch and the boys when you were in the bath. Mitch doesn’t mind, Beau would love a sister closer to his age, and the others, while not as enthused, will grow on you. So, if you want to…we want you to stay.”
Tears fell now, I swear I never cried so much in my life.
“I don’t know what to say…” I admitted, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
“Say yes.” El would encourage, walking across the small room and wiping my tears away with her thumbs.
“Th-thank you…” I’d manage, fighting my tears. I was crying and could feel myself starting to sob.
“You don’t have to thank us, sweetie. We’re more than happy to have you stay with us. Honestly, I feel more comfortable with you here. It doesn’t sit right with me to have a young wolf on her own with a pup to care for. It takes a pack to raise a child. Thank you for letting us be yours.”
A pack. We’d never have a pack link, for some reason the magic of an alpha was needed to create a link, and what made an alpha was unknown, it was always merely passed among a family line. Even so, this was a makeshift pack, as close to a pack as any could possibly get, and they had just welcomed me into it.
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