Cam was the one who initiated play, his sharp teeth nipping at my ear before he bolted across the clearing. I barked at him, tail wagging and I started to chase after him, when Beau darted in, nipping at my heels and taking off in another direction. They were used to working as a pack, Zack nipping at my shoulder before falling back. I wanted to chase them all, catch them and nip at them the same way they taunted me. Before I could, El approached, butting me softly with her head before licking my cheek. There was no pack link, no way to speak to one another aside from the language of wolves. Her body language spoke of pride and love, encouragement to run the energy of my wolf off. Mitch gave me a respectful nod, and I approached him to give him a headbutt in greeting. The closer I came, the more I realized my size. While they boys had merely initiated play, I hadn’t noticed with them. I was bigger than Mitch, an entire head taller. I had almost forgotten. I was an alpha, of course my genes would make my wolf bigger, stronger, able to protect my pack. There would be more questions after tonight. Questions I wouldn’t be able to brush off or avoid.
My anxiety must have been palpable, for Easton finally came up to me, bumping against my shoulder. It was weird to look down at him, but he bumped me again then tipped his head towards the others. They each fell into a play bow, encouraging me to join them. My teeth bared in a playful growl, the bark one of a puppy as I bolted for Cam.
He stood and waited for me to get closer, unflinching. I was distracted by Zack darting into view, obviously ready to nip at my shoulder. I swerved out of his range, the one being chased now as I fled into the forest. Four sets of paws were in pursuit, but my size allowed me to outpace them. Farther and farther ahead I pulled, until I spun on my heels and faced them.
They came into view, four wolves racing towards me, but I stood my ground. I felt powerful, every muscle ready to answer my every whim. The dark night was as bright as twilight, the scents almost visible. A toothy grin stretched over my maw, and as they prepared to converge on me, I stood my ground. Beau was the first to dodge out of the way, unwilling to call my bluff. Zack was the next. I could hear them behind me. The larger two, Cam and Easton, continued to charge, willing to call my bluff. I started them down, confident they’d turn away. They did, as expected, Easton close enough I leaned over and nipped his side. His bark of protest came from behind as he skidded in the leaves.
I turned in a play bow, challenging them to come at me again. The play would be rougher if I wasn’t pregnant, but even in this elated, hyperactive state, we knew better. We were hyper aware that we carried pups that needed protection, and we wouldn’t risk them. The boys wouldn’t either, their instincts to protect as long as I was one of their packmates. Even so, Zack charged first, his tackle restrained, most of his momentum being stopped by his paws digging into the ground. The impact was minimal, and I made it less by allowing my body to be pushed to the ground. We rolled in the leaves, teeth nipping at cheeks, ears and shoulders and we mock scuffled on the ground, the others bouncing around us and barking in mirth.
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I woke up to the mid-day sun shining through the window, a blanket only covering me halfway. The air touched my bare skin, something I noticed only after my mind woke up more. My eyes fluttered closed again, exhaustion dragging me back into sleep. My mind fought it as I forced my eyes open. It was a struggle to stay awake…I didn’t usually struggle to wake up like this. I was nodding off again, my body twisting so I was on my stomach and my face buried into the pillow, blocking out the sunlight. I could feel myself being dragged back into blissful sleep…
“We’ll continue this later. I need to check on her.” El’s voice carried from the hall, her knock soft on the door.
I couldn’t respond, I didn’t have the energy, I was completely drained, body and mind. Why was I so tired? I couldn’t quite remember, every thought as slow as molasses. With no response, I heard the door open slowly, then soft footsteps walking across the wooden floor. A gentle hand rested against my back, causing me to groan in response.
“I’m sorry dear, just checking on you.” El would say, patting my head gently before moving away. “Rest up.” She’d almost whisper, the door closing softly after a moment.
It was a good hour later when I woke up again, far more conscious than before. Stumbling out of the bedroom with the blanket wrapped around me and my head holding my head, I paused at the doorway, looking down the hall. It was darker here, making my head hurt less. I shuffled my way down the hall, stopping as I came to the kitchen. Cam noticed me first, his face turning a deep shade of red. I wasn’t sure why. He cleared his throat, and El looked over at him then towards me. She too seemed to blush, before hurrying over to me.
“Hey there Cheyanne…lets go get you dressed…” She’d state.
My sluggish brain took a moment to process, but when I did, my own face turned a deep red and I pulled the blanket around myself tighter.
“I-” I didn’t know what to say, the embarrassment making it hard to even think.
My brain had been in such a fog, I hadn’t realized I wasn’t wearing anything other than the blanket I pulled off the bed.
“Hush now, come on.” El would encourage, gently taking my arm and guiding me down the hall, back to the bedroom.
She set me on the bed, humming to herself as she opened the drawers and began to gather some clothes for me. They were a mix of what I had brought with me and dresses El had sewn for me. I watched her with squinted eyes as she decided between a tan deerskin dress and a shirt and skirt set, that one dyed gray. She ended up bringing me the dress, helping me get it over my head and smoothing the wrinkles and creases before stepping back.
Silence hung in the air between us, words unspoken that begged to be unleashed. Now that I was more awake, everything registered from last night. Meeting my wolf, the pups…pups. Two. Twins. Oh my gods. I was carrying twins. And…oh gods. I had been bigger than the boys…My father’s genes had carried more than just my eyes, I had gained the alpha’s size. How was I supposed to explain this?
I was hesitant when I looked up to El this time, her unending patience reflected in her soft gaze. She was waiting until I was ready to speak, like she always did. Never pressuring, always comforting. What would life have been like had I been raised here? Probably bliss, compared to home. No father constantly looking at me like I was worth less than dirt, his condescending gaze always turned on my mother with a sneer, no whispers through the pack of my mother being a whore and me being a bastard…but it wasn’t all bad. I had met Lex, afterall. Life would be so dull without her. No, that wayward thought was killed almost instantly. Life would have been easier here, sure, but it wouldn’t have been better. I’d go through that hell a hundred more times if it meant I’d have Lex, even if it was only for seventeen years.
A soft sigh brought my attention back to El. Right, she wanted to ask me something…they all did, if I was to judge by them being gathered at the kitchen table.
“How are you feeling after last night, hun?” She’d ask, her voice so soft and sweet.
I swallowed back the rising lump in my throat. I didn’t deserve her kindness, not after I…well, I hadn’t really lied, but I hadn’t told them the entire truth. Did me being an Alpha Heir change their opinion of me? Would they still let me stay here? I had my wolf now, I could keep myself alive if they wanted me to leave. It would hurt though, even if I’ve only known them for two weeks. Each and every one of them had grown on me, even the hostile Cam and reclusive Easton. They had their quirks, but who didn’t? They still accepted me, they had proven that last night. They treated me as one of their own, and being abandoned for a second time? It might just break me.
“I’m…okay. Hungry.” I’d finally reply. Each word was hesitant as I fought to keep the fear and anxiety hidden. I hated how I felt like I was walking on eggshells, I shouldn’t have to feel this way, not with El. Yet…would there be any way to salvage what I potentially just ruined by not being completely honest? My heart was sinking the more I dwelled on that thought.
“Well of course you are. You just ran around like a puppy for the entire night! Mitch had to carry you back at dawn when you passed out!” She’d state, a laugh in her voice.
My mortified expression had her stepping closer and lifting my chin with her fingers.
“Don’t give me that look. Beau was the same way. All my pups were, and Mari will be too. It's what every wolf does when they take fur for the first time. Eighteen years of being pent up…why, I think I’d have the same reaction our wolves do.”
That helped, if only a little. At least I wasn’t the only burden…but I had still been a burden. I had been raised an alpha, to be independent. I shouldn’t have been so careless and reckless and relied on Mitch to take care of me-
“Now Cheyanne. I know that look. No more of that, you hear me? Now let’s get you some food, m’kay?”
I nodded, that lump in my throat getting bigger. I feared if I said anything now, I’d start to cry, and I had done enough crying in these last two weeks to last me a lifetime. Stupid fucking hormones.
El led the way out of the room and I trailed behind, feet shuffling against the wood. I was anxious to face the rest of the family, face their questions. I had to, I knew I had to, but I was afraid. I felt like I had finally made a place for myself, only to have ruined it.
“There’s the sleepyhead.” Mitch’s booming voice was full of life as he stood up to offer me the chair. I was about to deny it, tell him it was okay, that I didn’t need it, but Beau had already gotten up and offered me his chair, which was closer, and walked around the table to sit in the chair his father had just vacated. It earned him a frown from his father, which made me smile. Damn them for making me smile at a time like this.
I sat down in the chair Beau had given me, leaving me facing the rest of the table. I kept my eyes down at the table, fingers tracing the grain of the wood as El began to cook up some porridge. The scent of cooking oats and ash began to waft around the room, and it was good, but I wanted meat. Not me, my wolf. I felt her stirring, brushing against my soul, stronger than before. I felt her in my veins, ready to appear if I gave her permission. It felt good, empowering. I wasn’t alone, and I never would be again.
As if reading my mind, the scent of bacon and the sizzle as it hit the pan, flooded the room. My mouth watered and stomach growled, which earned me a snicker from Zack beside me.
“I’m pretty sure I ate an entire pig after my first shift.” He said, bumping my shoulder gently.
That. That’s what I didn’t want to lose. The feeling of belonging, of having a brother that wanted me around. Not saying mine didn’t, he had proven that when I left, bringing me my bag that my father hadn’t let me grab, but I had never given Brycen the time of day. He had never felt like my brother…I had hated him merely because of his mother. Wow, I was a horrible person. If I ever saw him again, I’d give him the biggest hug. I’d probably be killed for it, a rogue daring to touch the alpha…but it was a daydream I was allowed to have. No one could blame me for wanting to make amends with my family now that I got to experience one that wasn’t broken.
“So…” Cam now. This ought to be good. “You’re an alpha.”
“Cameron! What did I tell you?” El scolded.
I wasn’t even looking at her and I could feel those chocolate eyes glaring at her son.
“We were all thinking it Ma! I just said it.” He’d reply in a huff, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.
All eyes were on me again, and I let out a sigh. I had hoped I’d get to eat before this conversation, but when did things like this ever go my way?
“You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to honey.” El would say, but I was already bracing myself for the backlash. I had to tell them, didn’t I? Now that it was asked, I couldn’t just leave it unanswered. I felt everyone looking at me, the way the room collectively held their breath.
“I…” I’d start, words getting stuck in my throat. “I should start at the beginning…”
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