Over the course of dinner, they never pressured me to speak, letting me sit in silence. That didn’t change the fact that they still filled the silence. While they didn’t push or even expect me to reply, they introduced themselves for me.
Their father was Mitch, a big, imposing man with brown hair so dark it looked black unless in the sun, a five o’clock shadow styled beard giving him a ruggish look and chocolate eyes. His wife, the woman who was so kind to me, was Eleanor, preferring to be called El, she was a petite woman with soft hazel eyes and a round face framed by straight brown hair. Their oldest was Cameron, brown haired with a stocky build and his mother’s hazel eyes. Their second was Zackary, sharing his father’s dark hair and brown eyes, but his mother’s slight frame. Their third was Easton, another stocky build with his father’s dark hair but his mother’s brown eyes. Finally they had Beau, the odd one out with red hair and green eyes with his mother’s slight frame, and their sole daughter, Marigold, a replica of her mother.
The amount of information I had just learned was overwhelming and made me a bit dizzy, but I was thankful for their hospitality. They continued on, confirming my idea that this was indeed the rogue pack I had been looking for. They affectionately called themselves Silvermaw, a mix of the two packs they lived close to. They were also quite used to collecting strays, most merely passing through, others being runaways or exiles. Mitch had been named one of the leaders of this pack, though he was humble about it. Perhaps my own father could learn a thing or two from him. Being humbled could do him some good, though I spoke on my own pride as well. It’s why I fought with him so much, we were both too prideful for our own goods.
For the first time in two weeks, my stomach was full. Every bit of food was gone, I had noticed they were holding back until I slowed down on my own eating, then the boys devoured the rest of the food. A faint blush painted my cheeks from their kindness, even as an alpha heir, I had never been doted over so much.
Beau was the one who began to gather the plates from the table, Easton starting on the dishes and Zack washing the table. I wanted to help, I didn’t want to merely take advantage of their kindness, but El was motioning for me to follow her. Right, the check up to make sure everything seemed okay with me and my baby. Anxiety began to rise in me again, and I had to try and focus on my breathing. Would everything be okay? I knew it had been a perilous journey for my baby, but I was praying to the Moon everything would be okay.
El led me into another room, closing the door. A large bed was in the center of the room, a simple wooden dresser against the wall and a small nightstand on each side of the bed. Deerskin was used as curtains and rugs, a fur blanket draped over the bed. It looked cozy, simple but cozy.
“Sit on the bed honey.” She’d instruct.
I did as I was told, and she approached with caution. Everything she did was to make me comfortable and I appreciated her for it.
“Now, I don’t want to push you honey, but I do need you to answer some questions for me.” She’d say, her voice as gentle as ever. “Could you take your shirt off for me, so I can check you over? I’m a healer, I promise I know what I’m doing.” I did as she told me to, lifting my shirt over my head and nodding that I’d answer her questions. Bumps rose on my skin as the air touched it, and I shifted awkwardly in my spot. My eyes darted to the door, and El smiled.
“My boys know better than to interrupt a check up.”
I gave an apologetic smile, and her fingers started press softly against my abdomen.
“Tell me if this hurts at all, okay?”
“Okay…” I’d say, trying to show that I’d cooperate.
“How far along are you? Do you know?” She’d ask, pressing lower towards my navel, and watching my face for any change of expression.
“Ten…ten weeks.” I’d say, calculating the time that had passed since Lupercalia.
Her brows would raise, and a soft smile flashed over her face.
“Lupa is an enigmatic goddess.” She’d state, her fingers now working their way up my torso. “Many say she is our primal desires, but she has her own plans.”
I’d nod, trying to appreciate her words but it was hard when everything had been taken from me because of this.
“And how long were you travelling for?” She’d ask, pressing softly under my breasts before working her way towards my back.
“Two weeks.” I’d reply.
She gave a ‘hmm’ before stepping away.
“You feel fine, and there wasn’t any pain, but these first few weeks are crucial for development. Two weeks on your own, and with your physical appearance it seems like you haven’t eaten much during those two weeks.” She’d state, and I nodded to confirm.”Its not impossible, but you need to be prepared. Your pup might not make it, okay honey? I know, no mother wants to hear it, but travelling can be dangerous while pregnant, especially when you’re a first time mother.” She explained, her face a mixture of concern and hesitation.
She wasn’t sure how I’d take the news, and I understood why. A threatened she-wolf would lunge before being rational, and what she said sounded a lot like an accusation that I hadn’t done my best. She could see it in my eyes, and she took a step back, giving me the space I needed. I swallowed hard, but nodded, fighting my wolf. She didn’t like the accusation, but I saw her logic behind it. I had to keep my head about me, just as I was taught growing up. An alpha with a temper was not a fit leader.
“I understand…” I’d reply, my voice quiet. “Is there anything I can do now..?”
“Rest.” She said, looking into my eyes. “You can stay here, take Mari’s room. She can sleep in here with us. We’ll take care of you, make sure you have everything you need, and I’ll make some herbal remedies to help bring your health up.” She stepped closer to me and took my hands, kneeling to my level. “I can’t promise that your pup will survive, but I promise we will do everything in our power to save it.”
I could feel the tears building again, and I nodded. I really appreciated her being so willing to help me, a stranger she so willingly brought into her home.
“Is there anything else you’d like to tell me? I promise, I won’t say anything if you don’t want me to.” She’d say.
I bit my lip, looking away for a moment. She needed to know, if I was going to be staying here. I hesitated, my tongue darting out over my lips. How would she take it, knowing I hadn’t even shifted yet?
“My…” I paused, bowing my head. Shame washed through me again. I was such a stupid kid… “In two weeks…” I tried again.
She was patient with me, waiting for my words. She was a moon send, honestly. Her patience was so similar to the Luna’s.
“I shift…” I’d say, trying to fish the words out of my self pity. “My first shift…is in two weeks.” I finally managed to say, my voice only a whisper. It was hardly audible to me, but El had heard it.
She pulled me into a hug, and I only realized in her arms that I was shaking like a leaf in a storm.
“You poor dear…so young…Packs are terribly cruel.” She’d state, her arms steady as she held me close. “You can stay here for as long as you’d like, sweetheart. We won’t ever send you away.”
Those words broke me, the building tears finally falling. Broken sobs tore from my throat as my arms wrapped around her, pulling myself into her body. The stress of hiding the truth from my family, of being exiled, of being on my own, fighting for survival, walking into the unknown, leaving my best friend behind, and being told my pup might not live. It all crashed down so hard, I was dizzy, sobbing into her chest as she held me. At some point, she had sat on the bed and pulled me into her. I was laying partially on her stomach, clutching at her skirt like a child as I cried and cried and cried.
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I was utterly drained when I finished crying. A headache throbbed behind my eyes, my sinus’ plugged and my body limp. El let me rest in her lap, my eyes staring blankly at her wall. Even if I was drained, I felt lighter. Holding in my emotions had been taking a toll on me that I hadn’t even noticed beforehand.
Finally, I sat up, wiping at my face with the back of my hand. I felt embarrassed, I hadn’t cried like that in front of anyone bar Lex for years. I went to brush my hair out of my face, freezing when it wasn’t there. Right, I had it cut off. That would take a while for me to get used to.
“Lets get you some water, then move you into Mari’s room, hm? You’re more than welcomed to sit in the kitchen with me, or in the yard while Mitch does some yard work. No more exercise though, okay?” I’d nod, reaching for my shirt which I had just realized wasn’t on me. Pulling it over my head, I stood up, stumbling for a moment. El caught my arm and helped to support me.
“Let’s get you sat down in the kitchen, regain yourself some.”
I nodded. “Y-yeah…okay.”
She helped me out to the kitchen, sitting me down in the nearest chair. Everyone was still in the kitchen, trying to look uninterested and not awkward. They had heard me break down, I knew they had, and a blush rose to my face as I looked down at the worn wood of the table. I already regretted having my hair cut off, I couldn’t use it as a shield to hide my face anymore.
El placed a cup of water before me, before clearing her voice. Everyone looked up to her simultaneously, myself included.
“She’ll be staying here with us, at least until the duration of her pregnancy. She’ll be taking Mari’s room. While she’s here, you all will treat her with respect and dignity. She is like your sister, do I make myself clear?”
The various murmurs of ‘yes mom’ flowed through the room, and El nodded with satisfaction.
“Good. Now, Mari, go pick up your room and bring your toys to mine and Daddy’s room, okay?”
The little girl nodded and hurried off down a side hall.
“The rest of you, go make yourselves busy. She doesn’t need anyone bothering her right now.”
The boys were quick to wander away. Beau following after his sister down the hall, Zack, Cam and Easton heading outside. Mitch remained, puttering around the kitchen. It was obvious he had questions, but didn’t want to go against what his wife had said. He was hoping someone would give out some information without him having to ask. My brother had done it enough times, usually with moderate success.
I had no intention of saying anything, I was still mulling over everything I had been told, and my new situation. I don’t know what my goal would be now, or what I had expected to happen when I arrived at the rogue pack. It certainly wasn’t this, being graciously accepted into a family who were so willing to help me. Not all the boys seemed thrilled I was here, mainly Cam, but Easton seemed standoffish as well. Beau seemed happy to have someone new around, and Zack just seemed worried. I didn’t get the feeling Mari didn’t want me here, but she was a skittish girl. Maybe she’d warm up to me over the course of these next few months. Hopefully I wouldn’t end up being a burden to them all. I didn’t remember much of the Luna being pregnant with my brother, I was young myself when she was, but I desperately hoped I wouldn’t make them hate me somehow. I couldn’t replace what I had lost, I didn’t even want to, but maybe I really could make a new life for myself here. Settle down with my pup somehow. Maybe get a hut here, learn how to live off the land.
I was lying if I said I wasn’t worried. I was terrified of my first shift. After hearing that I could lose my pup, I was scared the shift between person to wolf would be too much for a baby. My eyes were drawn to Mitch and El as their whispered voices drifted over the table. Mitch seemed concerned, his darting glance causing him to meet my eyes. He sighed, sitting down and looking over to me.
“So you’re seventeen.” He’d state, seeming hesitant to say more.
I nodded, trying not to avert my gaze this time. I needed to be mature about this, I shouldn’t be so ashamed.
“Beau’s around your age.” He’d state, obviously trying to find a way to bridge this awkward gap between us. Silence fell, and El huffed.
“Men are useless at not being awkward.” She’d state, but there was a sparkle to her eyes.
“Listen, kid-” Mitch would start, but he was interrupted by me.
“Cheyanne.”
“Cheyanne…I don’t want to pry, our whole thing here is to be welcoming, but I need to know.” He’d continue, watching me carefully.
I braced for the worst. What would he ask me? Was he going to say he wasn’t comfortable with me staying here? Anxiety began to crawl into my chest, but he obviously noticed my rising concern and he tried to smile to calm me.
“Its not bad. Don’t worry. I just need to know, how much do you know about your wolf? I don’t know your old pack, I won’t ask either, but I know some don’t teach their pups anything until the night of their first shift. I want to know what we need to go over.” He’d say.
Oh, that wasn’t as bad as the thoughts that had started to creep into my mind. He just wanted to help. Why was I so suspicious of these sweet people? Probably from everything I had heard of rogues.
“I…don’t know much…” I’d admit. “We were taught in school the science behind it…and that we’d meet our wolf in some sort of dream before we could shift…but other than that, I don’t know anything.”
He nodded, seeming serious as he thought. Was shifting harder than I was told?
“It’s kinda like a dream, yeah.” Beau would speak up from the hallway.
I jumped, and Mitch scowled over at his son.
“Sorry, I know, ‘make yourself busy’, but I was gonna head outside and overheard.” He’d state, walking over and sitting at the table with his usual chipper smile. “I shifted a couple weeks ago, so I get being nervous. It’s not bad, it hurts a bit at first, but if you’re connected to your wolf, its easier.” He ignored the stares of his parents. “When the moon rises, you’ll get really sleepy. It helps if you drink mom’s sleep drought so you can sleep easier. When you wake up, you’ll be in what the elders call the ‘mindscape’. It looks different for everyone, but you’ll meet your wolf there. When you two touch, you’ll feel your body light on fire, then when you wake up, you’ll be a wolf.”
I actually appreciated his explanation, and I nodded along with what he said.
“So…is it like when I see her in the mirror?” I’d ask, genuinely curious.
“You see your wolf in the mirror?” El would ask.
Why was that odd?
“Yes?” I’d ask back, hesitant now. “Is that…not normal?”
“No…” Mitch would reply, thinking. “Could you…explain?”
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