His voice seemed to echo for a moment, the sheer power of his alpha aura radiating off of him. Murmurs rose up, both mental and verbal. Some questioned his leadership for exiling his own daughter, others found him to be that much more of a great leader, to have the strength to exile kin. I stared blankly ahead, only now noticing Brycen walking over with a bag in his hands. The one I had shoved into the back of my closet. Never before had I ever felt so grateful to have him as a brother.
As the hand of the Beta landed on my shoulder, it was gentle. “Come on, hun.” He'd say, waiting long enough for Brycen to hand me the bag before starting to gently guide me away. My eyes darted to my mother, and I saw the absolute horror on her face. Everything she had run from, I now headed towards.
*I'm sorry* I wanted to say, if only we had the pack link, I'd tell her how sorry I was.
“I'll take care of her.”
My head whipped around, looking for the one who linked with me… my eyes landed on Lex's mom. She gave me a small nod, and my lip wobbled. I didn't want to cry, I didn't want to seem weak, but I was thankful to her. Maybe if my mother was out of sight, she'd be out of my father's mind too. Maybe she could be spared. The Beta's family would take care of her, they had always taken care of me and they'd do the same with her.
Lex was bawling beside her, unashamed by her emotions she watched me being guided away from the house. Only a small handful of wolves accompanied us, they didn't see me as a threat. I was wolfless still. Many didn't even believe I'd survive this exile long. A wolf without their beast form was weak, exposed.
Out of sight of my father, as soon as we entered the treeline, the Beta pulled me into his side. He could feel me shaking, I knew it. He was like a second father to me, more of a father than my own had ever been. He had always been there for me, taught me the pack history, threw me birthday parties and taught me how to distinguish pack lines without my wolf. He was in mourning of a daughter, I realized. Lex and I had been inseparable since early childhood, every memory I had was with her. I was there while his daughter grew up, he saw me as one of his. I could feel the turmoil of his wolf below the surface. The desire to disobey his alpha and keep me safe, but knowing his rank without question. I felt guilty that I gave him this internal struggle.
“You're a strong girl, Cheyanne.” He'd mutter, his hand rubbing my arm. “You'll make a good life for yourself.”
I was surprised he managed to keep his wolf’s turmoil out of his voice. I felt the hot tears start to trickle down my face a moment later and I hurriedly wiped at them. I realized he didn't seem to be shocked about this.
“Lexy told us when she got home from school today.” He answered my unspoken question. “She started crying as soon as the door closed, and she told us everything. You've been so brave, Chey, through all of this. No matter what your father says, you're so very brave. I know this is hard, it's a shock and it's scary, but I know you, I've watched you grow up with Lexy. You'll do what's best for you, and you won't let anything stand in your way.” He squeezed me, and I realized our steps were slow. He was dragging this on because he had more to say. My head fell against his arm and I took in his scent. I didn't want to forget him.
Taking a quick glance around, I noticed the wolves he chose were family of his, or close friends. Those who wouldn't rush us, those who wanted to say goodbye. They had raised me as well, cared for me, held me when I cried.
“I know… I know you've always said you'd never be your mother.” He hesitated with these words, and I could feel my defenses rising. I didn't think I'd like his next words. “But it might be safest for you to take advantage of our instincts. That pup's dad will want to protect it, and you. You'd be safe.”
I couldn't even form words. I felt betrayed. They all knew how I loathed my mother's choice, how could he propose that? I was speechless, my head snapping back up. A surge of anger ran through my veins and I wanted space.
“I know it's not what you want to hear, but we just want you to be safe. It's awful hard to raise a pup on your own. Let alone having to learn how to hunt and survive as a wolf without a mentor.”
I stopped, making the group stop. Red began to seep into my vision. How many times had I stated how I hated my life and my mother who forced this onto me?
“Absolutely not. This is my punishment to deal with. I won't be my mother. Even if I did and by some miracle he doesn't hate me after finding his mate, I'll still be pushed to the side, as would the pup. They'd grow up just like me, forever being whispered about, forever being forgotten. I won't let this pup grow up like I did, an outcast, only there out of obligation.” I'd explain, trying not to let more tears spill. Every single day of my life has been a living hell, and they wanted me to put my child through the same?
He nodded, face solemn, but didn't push it. “Okay, I get it. Do be careful.” He'd state. His voice was clipped. He didn't approve of my choice, but he knew I held my father's temper and didn't want to push me to break.
“If you're afraid on your 18th full moon…” one of the others said. One of the pack guards, strong and intimidating but a sweet guy once you get to know him. He taught me how to swim in the pond, and took me out there every summer with Lex when we were kids. “There will be a patrol at the river…”
I smiled at his implication, the anger quickly fading, being replaced by sorrow again. He'd be at the river to talk me through my first shift, help me take my wolf form from across the river that marked a pack line. Tears did start to fall now. I couldn't help it.
“And if you get hungry and need pointers on hunting…” another trailed off. One of the best hunters the pack had, rumors said he took down an elk alone. He taught me how to spear fish a few years ago.
I smiled through the falling tears.
“Thank you… I won’t be around though.” I'd admit. “I have a plan that I hope will work.”
“Don't stress yourself out. It's not good for a growing baby.” The last one said. I only saw him at Jacks’ house, but he was friendly. His brother, if I remembered properly. He had helped me with my homework a lot.
“Don't worry about me… I'll be fine.” I'd tell them, my smile stretched thin. I felt numb to it all, most likely in shock.
“I don't doubt that.” Jacks would say, but I could tell it was a lie. He was very worried, and I understood why. I had always been a reckless pup, who was to say that ever changed?
We stopped again, at some point we had started walking again and I hadn't noticed. I glanced out to the forest ahead. Never had I stepped a foot farther than this, past the border of guaranteed safety. Hesitant, I looked back at the men gathered behind me. Each one offered a small, sad smile. In turn, I hugged each of them tightly. Tears fell as I hugged Jacks and he placed a kiss on the top of my head.
“You got this sweetie… show everyone you're an Alpha.”
“I will… “ I'd say, nodding my head as I looked up to him and took a step back. “I'll make a name for myself out there.” I wiped my tears away again, letting go of Jacks and taking a step back. I hoisted the bag I carried higher on my shoulder, put on my bravest smile, and crossed the border. One foot in front of the other. I looked back once, waved my goodbye as I tried to make light of the situation, and kept walking. I never heard them turn around, they watched me until I was long out of sight.
I was thankful I had taken the wilderness survival elective the school had offered. I estimated I had another two to three hours before the sun set. Not long but if I hurried I could cover some good distance. I had no idea how far I could travel today, or how much I could each day. I didn't know how long it would take me to get to the rogue camp I aimed for, but I had seven months as long as I could reliably get food and water. It certainly wouldn't be easy. Especially because I realized I was hungry. I had been exiled before I could get the snack my mother made after school. I sighed, trying to push the hunger away as I continued to walk. Those were luxuries I'd no longer have. I'd have to get used to that fast. In a few hours, I went from an Alpha heir to a rogue.
Night felt like it fell faster than I had anticipated, and the forest stretched on. I wasn't very good at judging time and distance, reality felt far different than what I had imagined. My feet hurt, my stomach growled, and I was thirsty. I was sorely unprepared for this journey, I quickly realized. I was a child with big ideas with absolutely no clue how to achieve them. I would have questioned if I was going in the right direction, had I not had the sun setting for me to judge which way to go. With the sun to my left, I had been heading north, but as it sank below the horizon, I was forced to stop.
A chill hung in the air, wild animals skittering around the underbrush. I was jumpy, my night vision not quite as enhanced as a wolf's but better than what we had learned a human's was. Even so, peering into the darkness revealed little. Whatever scampered around me was well hidden. Not for the first time since I set out from the pack lands I found myself wishing I wasn't quite so alone. The farther I went, the less I felt the pull of the pack bond, and that in itself terrified me. I had never been so utterly alone as I was now. A breeze blew past me, and I shivered. Rubbing my hands over my arms, I whimpered and found a small clearing. Creating a small woodpile, I went to start a fire to keep warm. I'd need to figure out how I was going to catch food tomorrow.
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