I had been starving, my anxiety having blocked the hunger previously. Her welcoming nature had put me at ease, the presence of a pup and she-wolf putting my wolf at ease. She hadn’t pried, which I was thankful for. She hadn’t even asked for my name. At some point, another boy had entered with a skinned rabbit, this one with flaming red hair and dazzling green eyes. He looked a lot like Lex, which caught me off guard. This woman and Mitch didn’t look anything like this boy. Was he theirs? My eyes lingered a moment too long it seemed, for his gaze locked on mine and he gave me a crooked smile.
I looked away quickly, a blush on my face. I didn’t mean to be caught staring, it was rude to do so. He was so eye catching though, so vastly different from the family I’ve met so far.
“That’s Beau, my second youngest.” The woman would reply with a smile. “Looks just like my sister, we like to say she gave us her baby.” The woman would say with a smile. She took the rabbit from Beau, putting it over the sink and she started to gut it. The squelching disgusted me, but I was too hungry to worry about it much. Zack returned from the back, greeting his brother with a nod before looking towards his mother.
“The bath is ready, ma.” He’d say, standing almost awkwardly.
He almost seemed ready to say something else, maybe offer to help me, before glancing at me and taking note I was a girl. Did his family often take in strays like me? It was seeming like that was the case more and more. None of them seemed very surprised at my presence.
“Thank you Zack. Could you go to my room and grab a clean dress for her? We’ll get you some clothes of your own later dear, I’m sure you’d like to clean up first.” The woman said with a soft smile.
I slowly let my bag slide from my shoulder, the thump soft as it hits the wooden floor.“I have my own clothes…” I’d mumble, though soft my voice was still rough from disuse.
Her eyes seemed to light up and her smile was gentle.
“Even better. Your own clothes will make you feel a bit more at home, I’m sure.” She’d say, nodding towards the back room. “Zack, show her to the bath then come out here and help Beau skin the rabbits your father brought home.”
“Yes ma’am.” He’d answer her, walking towards the back again and waiting by the doorway for me.
Slowly, I stood up, my hand grasping at the strap of my bag. I had to pull it up higher to keep it from dragging, and I followed him. I was a little hesitant, anxious to go anywhere with anyone, but for some reason I trusted his mother, and she trusted him. I took a deep breath, bracing myself. Against what, I didn’t know. Following him into the back, he stopped at a doorway, using a hand to point me into the room.
“The bath is in there, soap and stuff is on the table next to it. Ma should be done cooking when you get out, but don’t rush.” Zack would say with a nod. “If you need anything, just yell.”
With that, he would head back towards the kitchen where I was just a minute before. Cautiously, I walked into this bathroom. It was simple, a metal tub filled with steaming water, a bar of what seemed to be home made soap sitting on a small table by the tub, a toilet in the corner, and a sink on the other side of the wall. A simple mirror was over the sink, a towel cabinet on the opposite wall.
Putting the toilet seat down, I set my bag on the toilet and shut the door. A simple hook and eye lock was how the door locked, but when I hooked it and tried the door, it felt sturdy enough. Paranoia had me checking the room before I undressed, the old, dirty clothes dropping from my body in a heap. They were so heavy, I hadn’t realized that. So much dirt clung to them, and with a glance in the mirror, I was surprised. I looked unrecognizable, my golden hair a dirty brown, honey skin smudged with dirt and dark bags under my eyes. I looked like I had been dragged through the mud. Groaning slightly, I walked over to the tub and stuck my hand in. It was hot, but not unbearable. Just what my aching muscles needed.
I stepped into the tub, the hot water dragging a groan from me. It felt so good, the hot water letting my muscles relax. I sighed, sinking my body farther into the water. Closing my eyes, my head dipped into the water. I could stay here forever, just soaking away the stress from the past two weeks. I had never been too interested in baths, but now I understood why the Luna liked them so much.
I didn’t move for a good five minutes, letting the water soak deep into my skin and the heat pull all the aches from me. Deciding I needed to get moving, I sat up, water dripping from my hair. Grabbing the soap, I began to run it over my skin, my nails scrubbing it deep into my skin. I wanted to get the dirt out, the past few weeks so build up I felt like a stranger in my own skin.
I scrubbed my skin so roughly it turned red, then I moved on to my hair. It was a rat’s nest, so knotted it was matted. I groaned in despair, knowing it would take me painfully long to work my way through it. Even so, I leaned over the tub and reached for my bag, just out of reach. I sighed, standing and reaching for the bag. I grabbed it this time, at the expense of goose bumps raising on my skin. Unzipping the bag, I pulled out my hairbrush, the one I had abandoned after a few days of travelling. Maintaining my appearance had quickly become a waste of time, but I regretted it now. Sinking back into the water, I lathered the soap into my hair, rinsing it before lathering it up again and beginning to work my brush through the tangled mess.
As the water grew cool, I gave up on my tangled hair. Tears sprang to my eyes as the brush ripped through it, and I was at a loss. I didn’t know if I would ever get through the mess. Standing up again, I stepped out of the tub and looked back at the water. It was nearly black. I cringed, walking over to the cabinet and taking a towel, drying my body before twisting the towel into my hair. I would try and get more knots out later when my hair dried, or maybe cut it all off. I was still deciding if I wanted my hair to stay long. Lex said hair held memories, and I didn’t know if I wanted to keep them, or throw them away as my father had thrown me away.
I pulled out some black leggings and a pink long sleeved shirt, setting them on the toilet seat and looking at myself in the mirror again. I was clean now, I felt lighter, a literal weight having been lifted from me. Without the dirt distracting me, my eyes wandered over my too thin frame, lingering on my stomach. My hands ran over a very slight bump, barely noticeable if it hadn’t been for how thin I had become. How far along was I now? Ten weeks, I was still in the first trimester if I remembered the pregnancy section of health class. Didn’t a bump not appear until the second? Was I that skinny now? I frowned, staring at my stomach for a few more minutes before I pulled my eyes from my physique and got myself dressed.
I picked up my brush again, giving it another half hearted attempt to tame my unruly mane, before sighing and giving up again. At this point, I might just cut it all off. Would I look good with short hair? Lex did, but I had never imagined I would. Maybe it was a time for a new beginning.
Folding my dirty clothes into the towel, I reached into the tub and pulled the plug, watching the murky water drain away. I then opened the bathroom door, hesitantly walking back out into the kitchen. I was greeted by the aroma of cooking meat, my stomach growling in hunger again. Standing around the kitchen was Mitch, Beau, and Zack, along with the woman, her daughter, and two other boys. They all shared a similar look to who I assumed were their parents, whether it be their father’s dark hair or mother’s brown, or the statures of either, bulky or slight. The size of the family certainly explained why this house was so big. Beau noticed me first, his friendly smile alerting one of the others. A brown haired boy with a slighter stature, similar to Beau’s.
“Mom, she’s back.” He’d say, looking towards his mother before flashing me a quick smile.
Not everyone seemed as welcoming then.“Oh, wonderful! Do you feel better?” She’d ask, turning away from the stove. Her eyes ran over me, making me self conscious. “You look a lot better.” Her hazel eyes lingered on my hair, and I looked away. “Would you like some help with that, hun?”
I didn’t want to admit that I did need help, I was almost eighteen, I should be able to do it myself. My silence was enough of an answer for her, it seemed.
“Cam, take over the stove. Mari, take her clothes and bring them to the hamper.” She’d order her children, voice soft but they answered immediately.
The little girl walked over to me, raising her hands for my clothes. I felt bad having her do it, and was about to say I could do it myself, when the woman pulled a chair out from the table and tapped the back of it.
“Right here hun.”
I swallowed back my hesitation, allowing the little girl to take my clothes and walking over towards the table. Cam, the big brown haired boy, took over his mother’s spot at the stove. Five pairs of eyes watched me as I sat in the chair. The girl, Mari, returned with a hairbrush and handed it to her mother.
“Thank you dear.” She’d smile at her daughter, before starting on my hair.
I winced as she hit the snags, but her fingers were gentle and light. She was obviously adept at doing this, but it was a painstaking process that had tears building behind my eyes. This…it wasn’t worth it. It was so much work and she barely knew me…she was already working so hard to make a meal, I felt guilty for taking more of her time.
“You…you can just…cut it off…if that’s easier…” I’d almost whisper, my voice so very quiet.
I hadn’t felt like this much of a burden since I learned I was my father’s bastard child at twelve. I had gone months apologizing for breathing the air around me, until Lex snapped me out of it. I could feel the string of apologies starting again, my usual confidence and defiance gone. This family was being so nice to me, and I had nothing to offer them.
“Are you sure, hun? Its a lot of hair to give up.” She’d ask, wanting to make sure I understood what I was asking.
I nodded, biting my lip and trying to keep the tears from falling. The eyes on me only made me feel that much more uncomfortable, that much more a stranger. Everything had changed, I wasn’t an alpha heir anymore, I didn’t want to look the part. I needed a change, I was changing.
“Okay, honey… Beau, pass me the scissors.”
I had to bite back the whimpers as the scissors snipped, the hair falling to the floor. The weight slowly left, the hair my mother had been so proud now on the floor. I wasn’t her daughter anymore, I wasn’t my father’s daughter anymore. I didn’t want to be linked to them…I didn’t want those memories. I was my own person, a new person, I needed a new look to match.
Once it was all done, Beau passed me a hand mirror. The finished product was vastly different from before, my long hair was now gone, leaving me with what looked like a pixie cut, but it wasn’t even. One side was longer than the other, and yet I liked it. It was new, fresh. My mother would die if she saw it, Lex would probably laugh and tell me to grow it out again, that it didn’t suit me. I would grow it out again, but I needed those matts out. I’d be more careful with my hair now.
“So? What do you think of it?” The woman would ask me.
I nodded my approval, giving a soft “Thank you.” to her.
“You’re welcome hun. Let’s eat before the food gets cold, then I’ll check you over, okay?” She proposed.
I nodded, knowing it was necessary to make sure my pup was okay. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this woman looking over me, but I had trusted her this far and nothing bad had happened. I went to stand, and she stopped me, pushing my chair in to the table and helping her son Cam bring the food to the table.
In total, there were three plates heaping with strips of rabbit meat, a bowl of steamed carrots and a bowl of mashed potatoes. It was simple, but made my mouth water.
“Dig in kids.” Mitch would say, finally speaking and breaking his silence.
The boys needed no further words, picking up plates and filling them with the food. Little Mari followed suit, and the woman began to pile a plate high, then handed it to me. I gave a small smile in thanks and she smiled back, waiting for the ravenous boys to sit with their plates before the parents began to get some food themselves. As awkward as I felt, this was kind of nice. Familiar, like dinners with the pack. Focusing on my food, I could almost pretend I was back home. The only thing that was missing was the tension that stood between my father and I, and it was almost nice not having that.
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