hing wrong, sir?" Someone asked.
David looked up, his concentration snapped. He whimpered and groaned in his mind, but it was a straight face all his brainpower could fire to the person who asked him the question. He then started to see the person who asked him if he was doing all right. He was a cashier, a person who looked at him blankly in expression but with something else.
"Yes, I'm fine," David answered, smiling with a false expression, "Thank you."
The cashier nodded, continuing to check out the stockpile of items that David was to buy from the store, which was another Walmart instead of a Target or whatever. The items ranged from quick snacks to food for the pantry, with a blanket and a backpack being the highlights. When the cashier asked him to pay, he slid in his debit card in the chip reader, where it assented the total for all of his items on a screen. The cashier, like some, gave him his total amount by spoken word before he slid it in, but David blocked him out. The cashier gave him a receipt, David took out his wallet, folded the receipt and tucked it in one of the pockets just in case he needed to return.
"Have a nice day, man." David stated, smiling a fool's smile.
"You too, sir." The cashier retorted.
David collected the plastic bags into his cart and wheeled out of the store in a slow, depressed pace. Looking left and right at the parking lot ahead of him, he crossed the road that held something for him and took a right. Three sections across, he saw the SUV and started turning to the left of his direction three sections down, to the place he wanted to go.
Halfway to the trunk of the SUV, he took out his keys from his pockets and aimed the latter at the trunk. Nearing the rear, he shot the car twice as the lights blinked in response to this. It raised itself slowly following a grip of the handle and David just stared at the door going up until it couldn't go any higher. At least it was higher than his hopes.
He placed two bags in the back, followed by three in both hands, one with both and then finally two with one. A loud whump was given from a pain to a pain and slowly, he turned the shopping cart was returned to a cart corral up the section of the parking lot. Promenading to the car, David's head was teased by the slight winds of the Phoenix night sky, a violet waltz across a dotted array of stars and glares from airplanes. When he walked up to his car, he opened the door slightly and closed it with a force that removed all the stamina from him.
Once he was in the car, David started to get a headache, but his mind endured. However, his soul couldn't find the pieces it was never given. He started to feel a slight bit of abhorrence in his system, toward himself. He felt guilty for this short time in which it could've been longer, but he knew that forever exists fundamentally above life and that there was nothing he could do. He felt guilty for placing his focus on work and Luca over Kaylon. The occupation was fine, but Kaylon also held meaning. And choosing Luca over him? He felt wrongdoing for lashing out at the duo staying over, even though it wasn't his fault entirely. It wasn't really his fault.
Although that, the material emotion that he felt was remorse. For no reason and no one. He felt remorse for absolutely nothing, but which became something.He shouldn't feel this way, this was something he knew instantly but he just felt it anyway. And so this indecision, this debate with his shadow persisted the existence of this remorse. Which gave birth to something.
And probably the biggest thing he felt not just remorse for, but disgust and doubt was the certainty that he could be falling for Luca, which was a certainty. Yeah, disgusting. He only knew her for about a week - a week - and a half. That's around the time a stereotypical high schooler falls for a girl he never knew. Disgusting. Another reason was that this reasoning was pitiful. He shouldn't be thinking this way, there was no reason to. Probably... He shouldn't even be feeling this way. Plus, a variety of unimportant, bloated thoughts and some repercussions of guilt. The reason that was the most pitiful and dispensable, depending on how you view it, was how could someone like him match with her. Just how...
"Fuck it," he muttered, turning the keys in a hostile manner. He got out his phone and messaged Kaylon.
"Can you go to the parking lot and wait there?" He texted.
He backed out of the parking lot, looking back at the rear windshield for objects in his way minus himself and his flaws. Almost hitting a car, he drove down the column and soon headed onto 35th.
The thoughts only got worse as he drove back to the apartment complex and his attempts at deep breaths didn't help him at all. The noise from the car and the road, the streams of light protruding through the shield from other cars, these stopgap noises whizzing past his ears. They didn't help either. He turned off the radio as it was not even providing some kind of sliver towards completion, just capitalist commercials, advertisements and synthetic talking and conversations for a consumerist America. Now, he just wanted quiet or something.
The phone vibrated. Rotating the phone onto his hand while focusing on the road, there was a notification. Swiping down while at a stop sign, it was text reply from Kaylon.
"sure, man. Whatsi it" The reply said.
He didn't have time to reply. He was starting to go forward, so he put down the phone and kept his eyes on the road.
A minute later, he was turning onto the road where the parking lot was, soon enough turning to enter the attenuated passage into the car park. Motoring the vehicle into the usual row of cars he pulled over beside, he could see Kaylon waiting against a wall for David. Normally, he'd bail out but it looked as if he was forbearing the situation with a stoic face. He was still not feeling any better than he was at the start, it may have gotten worse. Setting the emergency brake open, the keys swiveled under the tyranny of David's right hand and were pulled out from the switch once more. Gathering his things and opening the door, Kaylon slanted towards his standard posture and walked toward David. The latter, on the other hand, looked pissed and angry.
"Hey," Kaylon verbalized to the slouching wonder of a near-adult, "How is it go-" No time. No time at all.
The wolf traipsed briskly towards his friend, who walked to the carnivorous animal with hushed steps. The closer he moved towards his friend, the more any seeds of happiness implanted within the psyche of the cat's autistic brain were lacerated from there. And loser and yet still moving in closer.
"Hey..." A vocal register stubbed down a couple of notes. If one was to say that the voice was usually speaking in a medium-high modal pitch, which it was, then the voice marginally dropped to the lower registers.
Only three steps away from Kaylon, the predominantly reasonable atmosphere axed down to a few centimeters between the two warring species. And the brown eyes from the wolf met with the snowy land of the cat, only for a brief part of time. Then it broke. The wolf then pulled his friend in with his hands before enveloping his arms around the cat, a slender figure. The former stood there, paralyzed.
A moment passed gradually, with hesitation. And slowly but surely, Kaylon's arms met the back of the wolf and equaled the affection that he gave to him. And the wolf wanted to cry but he couldn't. Yet it appeared that he could. The tears were collecting at the eyelids from the ducts, burning holes in the fabric his head laid on. Kaylon's fingers reached the back of the wolf's head with his fingers and started
And then, the cat known as Kaylon asked the wolf known as David a simple question in a lower and serious voice.
"What's wrong?"
—
Luca was settled down on the bed in the guest bedroom, listening to some music that Kaylon had suggested to her when he brought up the topic out of the blue. She found comfort in Pink Floyd. Especially since the fact that she needed something else. Thank God.
It was dark outside of the room. Every light was off, with only the seven-segment clocks on the kitchen stove and microwave gleaming straight at the darkness, an endless staring contest. While inside the guest bedroom, a lamp was hugging the walls of the isolationist's room and nothing else.
And there's nothing else to say.
Suddenly, the door unlocked but the bolt kept it from opening all the way. David groaned semi-audibly with the groceries, while Luca sat up at the sound of the door.
"Luca!" David commanded.
She tugged the earphones out of her ear and sat at the side of the bed, then used her arms to jettison herself into the air and onto the ground. Her bare feet cuddled the floor before she opened the door, running out and turning on the hallway light. Scampers toward the door, then the hands waved over the locks and unfastened the door itself with their working magic. When she opened the door, both Kaylon and David were standing there carrying groceries by their hands. A lot of them, by the looks of it. While that and then some, both of their faces looked subjugated by something. And Luca could tell.
But David's face stood out the most. His brown wolfish eyes held the pain bottled up in him waiting to explode - this pain that was eating away his material soul and building up this pressure in his heart, slowly losing his will to live. Eyebrows relaxed yet defeated. Mouth that never moved unless it had to. Face that never emoted anything. It held its silhouette in the line of sight that Luca had.
"Sorry..." She replied, awkwardly.
"It's fine." Kaylon answered back in a falsely cheery tone. David didn't speak or gesture at all, his face remained serious and straight. When they walked in, he planted the groceries in the kitchen. Kaylon followed his actions as well. A door closed.
David just went to the couch, speechless and without much fluster from the other two. Instead worry and confusion.
"Is there something wrong?" Luca asked Kaylon.
"He's having a bad time," Kaylon said, "He has something to tell us."
Luca nodded. She and Kaylon walked normally to the couch and sat down, next to the phantasmal presence of David. His mind was going not only in circles, but a figure eight. A loop. A figure eight. He could not stop thinking, he did not even try and take his pill for the night.
Blue hair, red eyes. Red hair, blue eyes. Blue hair, red eyes. Red hair, blue eyes. Blue hair, red eyes. Blue hair, red eyes......
Nobody said anything for minutes. The air conditioning was the only thing circulating air. Everyone just sat there while David stared at the ground, stock-still and in pain. Luca and Kaylon were the scientists, he was the rat.
"we're gonna leave for indiana on monday...." David murmured, almost airy breaths without some kind of physiological and intellectual meaning or a voice fluid with the herd. He still stared at the floor, his arms folded on top of his kness and his back arched. The dazzle from the hallway shone on rudimentarily half of his face, echoing loneliness and emptiness from one eye and the quaint structure of the expression.
"What was that?" Luca asked.
"We're gonna leave for Indiana on Monday. I just spoke to my boss and he's gonna give me work on Saturday and Sunday so we can leave. He's gonna give me a week off, so we have two or three days to get there."
"Awesome! Thank you, David!"
"you're welcome."
Luca's concern mushroomed. "Is something the matter?"
David cracked the bond between him and the floor, tilting his head to contemplate this comportment from Luca. His position stiffened. And then a false smile appeared with his guilty eyes and his guilty face.
"No, everything's fine. Thank you, Luca."
She did not reply.
After that, he powered himself up from the couch by his hands, blossomed by lassitude. His tall posture indicated that spurious air blanket he gave to Luca and Kaylon. He stood up for a few minutes, before going to get his car keys from the kitchen counter and stepped towards the door. A lock came undone before concern.
"Hey, where are you going?" Kaylon asked.
"i need a breather...."
The answer was the closing of the door. Kaylon and Luca were left with nothing but the air conditioning. Meaningless compared to the sight of his back.
The elevator ride down to the lobby, where he plodded through the lobby to the parking lot. The car ride in the SUV through the urban cityscape of downtown Phoenix itself, looking to get lost looking for Alaska. And the same lights from the same cars, the streams of lights from the streams of gases, some lights given from some lighters. And the chair he was in. Those were the little things not just floating, but rather circumnavigating the entire situation itself at hand. The drive to somewhere. Its memory was losing against the liquor. The liquor was winning over control of David, when the mien was looking fictitiously pleasant on his face. The solution, the moonshine was winning. And the emotions were losing. The pain that he had in his chest was forcefully being amalgamted into the amber. The pain was being strangled. In a time where his conscious was murdered by himself, oh boy. What a time to be in.
Someone was dancing for him. And all he could do was smile. The packaging was right next to him, of course he wasn't that stupid either. But at this point, a club can make anyone stupid. Like him, intoxicated by the spirit he so chose to buy and drink up. And the pea-brained asinine smile placed onto his face. A mask. And then they came closer and closer. Closer. They locked eyes, influenced by the raw counterfeit influence of this one-sided 'love'.
And she kissed him so passionately, it sucked the life out of him. It didn't matter to him, it was this lose-lose game of fun he wanted so badly. It was so easy to tell he wasn't in control, his tongue spoke those words for him. And the booze might have had something to do as well.
And they retracted from each other, breaking this tether that they once had but never made. An article after another. Odesza was flurrying through his head and orbiting round and round. It also gave him something real to hold onto. For the moment.
For the moment. For a moment apart.
"You ready?" She said.
David smiled, chuckling at his own sense of humor and charm. "I can go all night."
And she smiled at him with those snaky, devilish green eyes and that special kind of a model face before going to a hungry wolf and kissing him. And then going slowly down his face, then his torso, then all the way to his jeans. Zipping them down all the way, going down and saying hi.
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