I'm worried.
Everything's been really quiet recently. He hasn't come back yet. Don't get me wrong, I don't usually mind this sort of thing. Whenever David comes back home late. But it's becoming a regular thing now, and I'm starting to get a little worried about him. Lately, he's just coming home later and later into the night, sometimes the next day. Now, he's always this late. He wasn't before. And it started four weeks ago, then it kept on growing. And he's usually passed out, but I think I do see him drunk sometimes.
I shouldn't even ask what he's even doing.
Why am I reading now? Uhmmmmm.... I don't know, I guess I like to read stories because it's interesting. It's a hobby. I don't really have a reason to read, I just do it. But lately, I have been reading a lot of books. I think it's just because.... I don't know.
Wait, what?
Why am I worried with David? *deep inhale then exhale* I don't really know.... Am I in love with him?
*a period of silence passes*
Maybe I am starting to care for him and I do wish to help him. But romantically, am I interested in him? I'm not sure if I even think so. I didn't care all that much about David before, but maybe I am starting to believe that I do love him and I actually.... want him. But going on a date with him, being his girlfriend?
No, I.... I don't think so. I'm not sure it's even possible for me to be his girlfriend.
But you're saying it like you do, in fact, want to be his girlfriend. Don't you?
I'm just not so sure anymore... I just can't.
Then what do you want?
.....I'm not catching on....
What does your heart tell you about this? What do you really want?
Just.... let me think for a moment. Jesus. You're always so pushy, aren't you?
Well truth be told, yes. I am interested in him, I do believe I like him. And I do think he does like me as well. Whenever he stares or looks at me, there's always that sort of flinch in his eye. And he's always acting tall around me.
But no, I am positive that I won't be his girlfriend.
Out of respect for Ryan, he's too much like him. I don't want another Ryan, I just don't.
How do you know he'll be like him?
His eyes. His voice. His mannerisms and his attitude.
It's almost like Ryan.
But how do you know that he's like Ryan? People can be like that and still not be the person someone is talking about.
I suppose you're kind of right. But... it's just the vibe that he gives off.
I see. May I ask you a question?
What is it?
You always speak about Ryan whenever I ask you about your feelings toward David or just ask you about a possible relationship with him. I know Ryan was a nice guy, I can assure you he was a nice guy. In fact, I think he could be like David as well.
But really, considering all of this. Where you in love with Ryan?
*sigh* Yes, I was.
Ever since I met him, he always was this introverted, nice and calm guy. He would always get angry because of what he was going through and I never blamed him. His family was a fucking mess, he never had any friends and he was always bullied. No matter how many times he reported them, it always seemed like they never cared.
And getting to know him for two years was probably the brightest part of my life. He was always angry, always stressed. But I was there for him in every way possible, I wanted him to know I would be there. And answering you question, I did fall in love with him. I loved him for who he was, I loved him because he was like me. I loved him because he, in a way, completed me. I could never imagine my life without him.
That is very sweet of him. Sorry if I sound like an asshole.
No, you're fine.
What happened?
I remember that day very well. I wish I couldn't remember.
I remember that me and Ryan were walking home and that they ambushed us. One of them was named Evan, there were three of them. Two of them held Ryan back by his arms, and I remember Evan.... he raped me right in front of Ryan. And Ryan was yelling and screaming, I remember so much. I wish I didn't remember that he impregnated me, I hate that.
And then I remembered the second they were all dead because of him. I remembered him standing there, gunshot wound with a gun in his hand. I remember when he grabbed as I fell onto him.
I remember him kissing me, so much. He was in so much pain. Then handing me the gun and telling me to shoot him.
I didn't. He did it himself.
That was the only time I ever said I love you to him.
*a silent creak*
And just like that, the door opened. Slowly but surely. And in the apartment came David, with pain under his skin and beneath the windows to his soul. And the door opened slowly, then he pushed it closed. And then locked it with very little effort, but with a lot of time on his hands.
Luca opened the guest bedroom door a little and peeked out of the crack. There she saw him, shadow covering him and all. He didn't even look the least bit happy, everything was saying sad, angry or depressed. Let's go with depressed, shall we?
Suits him better.
Luca walked out of the guest bedroom quietly, a few steps to avoid any disturbance. Then, she stopped at the middle of the hallway, standing there and just staring at him. She looked worried as well, you could tell by the look on her face. And in her eyes, you could see that she was worried as well. But David just turned then to meet her gaze.
And it was there for a moment. But then he slightly leaned back, then down again and broke concentration. And with just some small steps, he walked up to Luca and pushed her aside with his shoulder and went to his bedroom. Walking to his bedroom, she softly pushed the door open. There, she saw him going through the closet before placing a moderately-sized backpack on his bed. Frantically, he searched the drawers for a two pairs of pants and underwear, before placing them on the bed. Afterwards, two pairs of shirts on the bed.
Luca just stood there in a bit of a shock. And then she tried to speak to him.
"What are you doing?" She asked, soft-spoken.
No answer from David. He was rolling up the pair of shirts into his backpack.
"David..."
No answer. He then put in the pair of undergarments followed by the two pairs of shorts. After that, he then noticed he forgot the socks. He put in two pairs afterward in the backpack. He scurried to the bathroom, grabbing the shampoo and conditioner, his towel, toothbrush and toothpaste. Without any hesitation, he just threw them in there.
"M-"
In a low-soft voice, "What is it?"
She just stood there. "What are you doing?"
No answer, just nothing.
And then he went to his bedroom, got a computer from there and slipped it in his backpack. He then found the charger and placed it in there as well.
And he only spoke two words in a soft, repressed voice. "We're leaving?"
Luca, worried, asked. "Now?"
David nodded.
She only stood there for a few minutes before she took a step back, then another and finally turned around to the guest bedroom. Opening the bedroom door, she unzipped the luggage and packed her Kindle, her bathroom items, shampoo, conditioner and chargers in there. While there, she looked up and saw David standing there with the backpack in his quiet.
He then left, quietly.
When he did, she went into the kitchen in a frantically calm pace. Opening one of the compartments below the sink, she grabbed a garbage bag and shook it until it became a garbage bag. Going into the bathroom, she scooped up some of the dirty laundry into the bag, then another scoop then another until the clothes in the basket was gone.
There was also one another empty one, the one that was supposed to be Kaylon's. Just gone, nothing else. And she stared at it very closely, almost imagining there was something.
But something was not there. And there was no something.
A sense of nostalgia and emptiness clouded her heart, turning around from the bathroom to reveal the guest bedroom before her eyes. Turning off the light. Going in, she stepped before the luggage, placing the garbage bag in there and zipping it up tight.
And that was it.
When David came up to her when she did, trailing her luggage behind her, he silently pointed at the door and walked there without a word. And she followed him, unaware of what he would do. She was worried, too much to let him out of her sight. And he opened the door, where he just stood there and waited for her.
She just stood there, looking at the apartment. Before it was cozy. Now it looked somewhat like home, she really didn't want to leave. But she had to, so she never pondered on that feeling for long. The weather outside made the room look dull and blue, whereas the hallway was always the same incandescent orange that flooded the halls. And David just stood there, depressingly waiting for the woman he'd want to love. But couldn't.
And after a few minutes,
ns 15.158.61.6da2
