The morning was cold and bleak, as it had rained heavily the night before. Given the heat from the tropical weather in Bangkok, the cold weather had a cooling effect. Zhi Xun smiled as she snuggled deeply in Tian Yu's arms. He was still sleeping soundly in spite of the sunlight streaming into the windows of his rented apartment. How she missed their morning sex of the past.
She had extended her vacation by one more week in the country, and Tian Yu had agreed to return with her to N City after that, where they would continue to see each other discreetly and engage in a no strings attached relationship. She had greatly frowned at herself for her decision, but the reality was that she had no intention of having her sexual needs satisfied by anyone other than Gao Tian Yu. It was after all, him who had rocked her world.
But what bothered her was what she wanted in their relationship. She had broken down emotionally and her heart had softened when he had admitted his faults to her as well as the reason why he had left her. It was simply because three and a half years ago, he had thought that giving her an opportunity to be with someone he perceived to be capable of giving her a better life, was the best choice for her. Upon hearing his confession, she had not wanted him to leave and when they were trapped together in the castle, it had called for some time between them. Before meeting him again, she thought she had hated him and not wanted to see him again, but their reunion had proved otherwise. She felt a little confused about her feelings, but she was afraid to address them or admit to Tian Yu how she felt about him after the pain he had put her through.
Zhi Xun questioned herself on the question of love again. If it was true that she no longer wanted anything to do with him, why did she want to remain with him in an overseas country, when she could have easily enjoyed a life of luxury in N City without a care for his existence? When his associates had came in search of him 5 days after being stuck in the castle, she had been free to go. Yet she had chosen to stay on with the alibi that she hadn't enough to explore in the little country since she had already lost 5 days of her holiday by being locked in a small room. To compensate her, he had taken her on a venture to the various night markets, clubs, sightseeing locations and even to Madame Tussaud's. Of course, this was outside the scope of a no strings attached relationship, but she was interested to explore the country, and readily accepted him as her tour guide.
While struggling in Bangkok, Tian Yu resorted to living in an old run-down apartment to make ends meet, as he strove to return his parents' companies in the country to their former financial condition. He had already lost so much of his parents' companies and assets, and had even sacrificed his own business to fund his attempts in restoring glory to his parents' resulting companies. His father's stroke had been a big blow to him, since his father was no longer able to respond to people speaking to him or even recognise him. Of course, Zhi Xun had not known all of the facts, and she probably didn't need to know. To Tian Yu, any chance with her was worth it.
Compared to his condominium, the run-down apartment was a pain to live in and Tian Yu felt ashamed of having to accommodate Zhi Xun in it. She had insisted on sharing his accommodation as according to her hotel, they were fully booked and she had no means of extending her vacation in Bangkok without a place to live. Even after Tian Yu had taken her to the shack, she had forcefully moved her luggage in and demanded to stay there. He was astounded by how determined she was now that she was a big shot journalist with the reputation of a celebrity. She had used to be dependent on him, and now, she seemed to be above him in her career.
She felt him stir and sit up on the bed, and pretended to be asleep. Believing that she was asleep, Tian Yu stroked her hair and planted a kiss on her forehead, "Still sleeping, sleepyhead. Don't you know that the early bird gets the worm?"
She gave no response, and continued to 'sleep'. Tian Yu got up and whispered, "No breakfast for you if you continue to sleep. Good night."
Zhi Xun jolted up from the bed with a roar. "What do you mean, no breakfast? You hoarder, you're going to get it from me!" She ran to him with a pillow and started hitting him with it. Tian Yu laughed. "If anyone saw us now, they would already confuse us as a married couple."
Her cheeks reddened. "That's not true! We're just two people in a no strings attached relationship. I don't want to have an actual relationship now."
"Oh, did you forget what happened yesterday?" he teased. They had gone to an antique shop where Tian Yu would often conduct his dealings with, and she had been mistaken to be his wife. She pouted. "You're making me lose my market. I'm hot and single."
"You just said you don't want a relationship yet," he muttered. She quickly retorted that regardless whether she wanted a relationship or not right now, she welcomed attention from the single and able men. Tian Yu looked a bit annoyed and retorted, "Well, if that's what you want, I'm not going to be part of it. Find whoever you like, then." He stormed off, and she realised his temperament would never change.
She caught him from behind before he could leave the unit, and casually said, "Okay, fine! It was just a joke. I stand by my decision to not start a relationship. I don't care about the single men, okay?"
"That sounds better. What if I said I have a date with one of Kamthorn's nieces, how would you feel?" He watch her freeze in horror, and then her face turn red with anger. "You didn't!" she said, and immediately he twirled her around and put her up against the wall. His lips crashed against hers hungrily, and she closed her eyes to indulge in the sensuality of his kisses. She felt his hands slowly move up and settle themselves on her collar, stroking her collarbone and she shivered in excitement.
She felt the kiss intensifying as his nimble fingers slowly unbuttoned her sleeveless nightgown, sliding it off her curvy body. Her heart was beating wildly as his hands wandered around her body, slipping down to her waist and removing her underwear. He moved his lips to suck gently against her neck, before saying, "Do you want me to take you now, or do you want a single man's attention?"
In desperation, she opened her eyes and told him in a begging manner, not to stop. He coolly pulled down his trousers, then lifted her up higher against the wall and positioned her for his entry. She observed how he calmly took out a rubber shield before putting it over his member. She felt him go wild on her, penetrating her wildly and pounding her with utmost vigour.
"Do you want more?" he asked, and she nodded. He carried her to the bed and gently laid her on it, filling her up with his entire length. Her juice dripped on the sheets as she shook with desire for more.
"Call out my name," he said, and she obeyed him, folding her legs to admit him deeper inside her. As he took her on the bed, he could only wonder what he was in her heart. Did she want him truly, or did she just need him as company and for her own sexual gratification?
"What do you think of it?" he asked as they relaxed in bed. The heat from their earlier arousal was still lingering around her cavity.
She said truthfully, "You seem to have improved from the last time."
He asked her, "What am I to you, Xiao Xun?"
The way he called her Xiao Xun, the way he looked at her, even the way he touched her had seemed to trigger a deep feeling in her heart. She felt confused and caught up in her emotions. Fearing that she would get hurt again, she replied, "You know my answer. I don't want to get involved in love. We're just two people in a no strings attached relationship, nothing more. I used to love you in the past, but it's over between us."
His reply had been heartbreaking. "Xiao Xun, we've been staying together for almost two weeks. If you didn't have feelings for me, why do you get upset when I say I want to date someone else? Why are you concerned about me when I get mad? Why do you still feel aroused when I touch you? Why did you stay single all these years?"
She remained speechless, and then he continued, "I haven't left you alone. The night Su Mo rescued you, I was there. Why do you think he knew you were there? When you went to the big press conference to interview Madam A, I was there too. When your brand ZSyn was officially launched, I was there too. I knew you moved and changed your contact number because of me. I didn't have the courage to approach you directly and interfere with your new life, but that didn't mean I couldn't be your guiding star and protect you in secret. I was wrong, Zhi Xun. But we all make mistakes. Now I just want to ask you for one last chance."
"I'm not ready," she said, turning away from him to hide her tears. "It still hurts."
"Xiao Xun, I said I will give you time. But I can just wish for you to wait for me for three months. I won't leave or hide this time. I promise I can give you the happiness you need by then."
Then, she said, "It's too late."
Silence overcame them, and they both faced opposite sides of the wall, with their backs pointed towards each other. Zhi Xun didn't know what to think anymore. If he indeed was the winged man of her dreams, what was his purpose of entering her life? Had he been here to give her love, or pain? She had wanted so much to tell him yes, and to give herself to him once again, but after the pain of waiting, she didn't think that love could be possible between them. She wasn't the Huo Zhi Xun that she was three and a half years ago. She was now the dauntless ZX, a big shot among the journalists and the founder of ZSyn. While she couldn't say yes to him, she didn't want him out of her life, too. She was still sexually attracted to him, and wanted him inside her at any time.
What she didn't realise was that he could cry, too.
When she woke up from her nap hours later, she was aghast to find that the spot next to her was empty. She felt a wave of disappointment overcome her. Had he just left her, after he promised not to?
She felt the familiar touch of his fingers on her hair, and turned around to see Tian Yu leaning over her. The fragrance of a freshly cooked meal filled the air. "Lunch is served, silly," he said. His eyes had been slightly red, and Zhi Xun realised the damage had been done. Still, he had gone to the kitchen and cooked for the two of them. She looked at the food on the plate. It had been one of her favourite meals, century egg congee. Only that it had been an economised version due to the ingredients he could afford with his financial situation.
"Let's eat," he said, handing her some cutlery. "Don't let the food get cold."
Zhi Xun felt her heart throb with pain. Even after she had said those hurtful words, he was still there for her, remembering her favourite foods, and being concerned about her. He had even remembered how she disliked using chopsticks, and he had prepared a fork and spoon for her to eat with. The brutality of her words earlier struck her. What had she done?
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