在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。452Please respect copyright.PENANAqKEO0HCYqE
452Please respect copyright.PENANApO1bfFDpfk
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:452Please respect copyright.PENANAklUO3qu4wC
452Please respect copyright.PENANAXz7YsetKj5
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?452Please respect copyright.PENANA9L8NfpUBYY
452Please respect copyright.PENANArd7ucRGaky
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAD48RJEA001
452Please respect copyright.PENANAww7oMJdoFB
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。452Please respect copyright.PENANAWwTb6P4smq
452Please respect copyright.PENANA35b1RW9LLO
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。452Please respect copyright.PENANAU5dW6qP1lP
452Please respect copyright.PENANAB5z2dKI4PQ
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!452Please respect copyright.PENANA9UV342FswQ
452Please respect copyright.PENANAY8ANw8XsX8
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。452Please respect copyright.PENANAu8fUU08uVX
452Please respect copyright.PENANAofaTAB3rCR
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。452Please respect copyright.PENANA4SsNGLpj7p
452Please respect copyright.PENANAwUJ8ewWweA
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。452Please respect copyright.PENANAYtnl0YnoK3
452Please respect copyright.PENANA5AAxTtZXOK
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。452Please respect copyright.PENANAfqWVOFsEAC
452Please respect copyright.PENANACFkVTBMVKZ
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。452Please respect copyright.PENANAgKvv8yS7AF
452Please respect copyright.PENANANl0v2rngKE
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAiWOth0Ln79
452Please respect copyright.PENANA0igo84orXT
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣452Please respect copyright.PENANATvbGjTjSjL
452Please respect copyright.PENANAvXjllyd4px
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?452Please respect copyright.PENANAH07YnxQiMh
452Please respect copyright.PENANAcZXWMw75LT
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我452Please respect copyright.PENANA7CKBtykCD1
Annie:我真係好自卑452Please respect copyright.PENANAl5w4dLhYTH
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有452Please respect copyright.PENANAk1xHJJBHEK
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。452Please respect copyright.PENANAULKy56iJuz
452Please respect copyright.PENANAQgIHdnTyzb
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。452Please respect copyright.PENANACWmqk8de2v
452Please respect copyright.PENANAty9YnbyC9G
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。452Please respect copyright.PENANANplXzOXg17
452Please respect copyright.PENANAJb5okionTD
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。452Please respect copyright.PENANAZdm412TIJR
452Please respect copyright.PENANAMsz0O0SweB
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。452Please respect copyright.PENANAqgGfzyBR8H
452Please respect copyright.PENANAVsuUbMmb3A
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。452Please respect copyright.PENANAeWtHdav6wG
452Please respect copyright.PENANA77sz2WlOL6
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?452Please respect copyright.PENANAIdELVkKK9s
452Please respect copyright.PENANA6UOMSVPEGi
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。452Please respect copyright.PENANA4DTLh9ZiLB
452Please respect copyright.PENANA8fmWEqkqeQ
我:我好想食豬扒飯。452Please respect copyright.PENANAAHvBHnIHha
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAAC2S7oQknQ
452Please respect copyright.PENANAXkpOG7yAOE
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!452Please respect copyright.PENANAJAssTEHZCh
452Please respect copyright.PENANA0Kz4RWNYea
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。452Please respect copyright.PENANAmMQKMVrAHj
452Please respect copyright.PENANAf5XykYu1R4
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANA6UN7tXfTIf
452Please respect copyright.PENANA69ZFARZHqS
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑452Please respect copyright.PENANAK8NWi9uFJj
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒452Please respect copyright.PENANAfhf2XM6ptt
452Please respect copyright.PENANAlGN0XqwTtT
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。452Please respect copyright.PENANAsH6jvmZTwu
452Please respect copyright.PENANAsNZ7eMZZlg
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。452Please respect copyright.PENANApU1PhApBZF
452Please respect copyright.PENANAlN32yKNwyt
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。452Please respect copyright.PENANAfMaGjesmGI
452Please respect copyright.PENANAei1961ZP5d
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。452Please respect copyright.PENANAlocUoS8PdG
452Please respect copyright.PENANAgZdCN6XNsy
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。452Please respect copyright.PENANAivjcv65YhY
452Please respect copyright.PENANARs8jQjUztU
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。452Please respect copyright.PENANAqM6wq4KIab
452Please respect copyright.PENANAX1o3q3j8bX
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?452Please respect copyright.PENANAvDLlfhMbbh
452Please respect copyright.PENANA5JscLn8n78
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。452Please respect copyright.PENANAYMUP0pWDgE
452Please respect copyright.PENANAwHLYSNE3Bc
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。452Please respect copyright.PENANA0Yc2lqKBNJ
452Please respect copyright.PENANADdusdYiakK
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。452Please respect copyright.PENANAY5fA1kpSIP
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺452Please respect copyright.PENANAS6BT5O00Ml
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走452Please respect copyright.PENANAcFRxPwqo9w
452Please respect copyright.PENANABDKTFZlw3J
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAZbX1gqa8EG
452Please respect copyright.PENANABAgugmCkIq
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大452Please respect copyright.PENANAKdIxO1M9dt
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身452Please respect copyright.PENANA5phdPnSpT1
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J452Please respect copyright.PENANALL0QikMOlb
452Please respect copyright.PENANAxkGoadjcjV
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAAJuGmNF73T
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANACrsBY1oZF4
452Please respect copyright.PENANAfOswp2jWqe
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。452Please respect copyright.PENANAMiXCk1qGl7
452Please respect copyright.PENANAHov45XjrHt
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。452Please respect copyright.PENANAgeOxIaDSrB
452Please respect copyright.PENANAFNC60e7hM3
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。452Please respect copyright.PENANAHotoxdm6yR
452Please respect copyright.PENANAcYqZ4hahfh
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?452Please respect copyright.PENANA8Nq6mEMEJm
452Please respect copyright.PENANAfmhEtwDcCp
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAmPxaakKszz
452Please respect copyright.PENANAiHhr4H8CyZ
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAVu2Tz5VIMr
452Please respect copyright.PENANAELbiIKH3jT
我:我憑直覺亂估咋452Please respect copyright.PENANAkeB97P5OOq
452Please respect copyright.PENANAmqoAYML1bX
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?452Please respect copyright.PENANAIwVjaZHhEc
452Please respect copyright.PENANA8NJpqgOP6a
我思索了一會,然後回覆。452Please respect copyright.PENANAoswXcwjpMV
452Please respect copyright.PENANAbKoEMqBOhD
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。452Please respect copyright.PENANAr2PAzz7kpm
452Please respect copyright.PENANANUkPbefE3G
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。452Please respect copyright.PENANAkwLyfNoEDU
452Please respect copyright.PENANAM4epXIcXTN
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy452Please respect copyright.PENANA9BtUQ83lfB
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度452Please respect copyright.PENANAxDx3T7NtYG
452Please respect copyright.PENANAjBvygCd0qW
我:你本身都係bi?452Please respect copyright.PENANAAZ1prn8s0e
452Please respect copyright.PENANATw1z6LFay0
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑452Please respect copyright.PENANATSo1KoTZtx
452Please respect copyright.PENANAhXo2d9bHGK
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水452Please respect copyright.PENANAWiOyVwuPud
452Please respect copyright.PENANAWtwU3iLa1i
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?452Please respect copyright.PENANAHqQHQrGlQI
452Please respect copyright.PENANA6GFB50Uh9s
我:人工閪😏452Please respect copyright.PENANA2ExH0XLVww
452Please respect copyright.PENANAKwqWAdwzkI
Annie:😳😳452Please respect copyright.PENANASyvgHLvGmU
452Please respect copyright.PENANAabyPfDrJL4
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊452Please respect copyright.PENANAeofKEGUCS2
452Please respect copyright.PENANAwTNghrNqdq
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?