在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKEO0HCYqE
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpO1bfFDpfk
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklUO3qu4wC
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXz7YsetKj5
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9L8NfpUBYY
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrd7ucRGaky
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD48RJEA001
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡww7oMJdoFB
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwTb6P4smq
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35b1RW9LLO
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5dW6qP1lP
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5z2dKI4PQ
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UV342FswQ
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8ANw8XsX8
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8fUU08uVX
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofaTAB3rCR
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SsNGLpj7p
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUJ8ewWweA
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtnl0YnoK3
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AAxTtZXOK
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfqWVOFsEAC
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFkVTBMVKZ
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKvv8yS7AF
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl0v2rngKE
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWOth0Ln79
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0igo84orXT
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvbGjTjSjL
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXjllyd4px
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH07YnxQiMh
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZXWMw75LT
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CKBtykCD1
Annie：我真係好自卑452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5w4dLhYTH
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1xHJJBHEK
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULKy56iJuz
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgIHdnTyzb
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWmqk8de2v
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty9YnbyC9G
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNplXzOXg17
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb5okionTD
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdm412TIJR
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsz0O0SweB
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgGfzyBR8H
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsuUbMmb3A
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWtHdav6wG
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77sz2WlOL6
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdELVkKK9s
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UOMSVPEGi
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DTLh9ZiLB
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fmWEqkqeQ
我：我好想食豬扒飯。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHvBHnIHha
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAC2S7oQknQ
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkpOG7yAOE
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAssTEHZCh
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Kz4RWNYea
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMQKMVrAHj
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5XykYu1R4
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UN7tXfTIf
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ69ZFARZHqS
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8NWi9uFJj
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhf2XM6ptt
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGN0XqwTtT
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsH6jvmZTwu
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNZ7eMZZlg
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpU1PhApBZF
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlN32yKNwyt
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMaGjesmGI
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡei1961ZP5d
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlocUoS8PdG
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZdCN6XNsy
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivjcv65YhY
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRs8jQjUztU
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqM6wq4KIab
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1o3q3j8bX
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDLlfhMbbh
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JscLn8n78
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYMUP0pWDgE
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHLYSNE3Bc
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Yc2lqKBNJ
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdusdYiakK
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5fA1kpSIP
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6BT5O00Ml
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcFRxPwqo9w
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDKTFZlw3J
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbX1gqa8EG
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBAgugmCkIq
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdIxO1M9dt
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5phdPnSpT1
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLL0QikMOlb
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxkGoadjcjV
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJuGmNF73T
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrsBY1oZF4
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOswp2jWqe
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiXCk1qGl7
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHov45XjrHt
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeOxIaDSrB
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNC60e7hM3
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHotoxdm6yR
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYqZ4hahfh
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Nq6mEMEJm
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmhEtwDcCp
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPxaakKszz
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHhr4H8CyZ
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVu2Tz5VIMr
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELbiIKH3jT
我：我憑直覺亂估咋452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeB97P5OOq
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqoAYML1bX
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwVjaZHhEc
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NJpqgOP6a
我思索了一會，然後回覆。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoswXcwjpMV
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKoEMqBOhD
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2PAzz7kpm
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUkPbefE3G
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwLyfNoEDU
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4epXIcXTN
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BtUQ83lfB
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDx3T7NtYG
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBvygCd0qW
我：你本身都係bi？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ1prn8s0e
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTw1z6LFay0
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSo1KoTZtx
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXo2d9bHGK
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiOyVwuPud
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtwU3iLa1i
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqQHQrGlQI
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GFB50Uh9s
我：人工閪😏452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ExH0XLVww
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwqWAdwzkI
Annie：😳😳452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyvgHLvGmU
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabyPfDrJL4
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeofKEGUCS2
452Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTNghrNqdq
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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