在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1RMii0h9gX
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvsovHGLop
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaN5YyQN4Fw
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYN8hPCEO8W
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vb7VTIZx2
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbW49Sgxln
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzywPms4zLU
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIou0TBnNhC
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnu6OATqxX
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYrYfZA1O4
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHpkeJBKoac
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlECt4k3oD
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfw3jR1hxhJ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKNQ7BQaiB
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOgNiW0JTb
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1JRftSXb2
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡql5aVxjWhB
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfYzM3ZjEj
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhzDVc6t1Q
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZJQ61bRYO
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvOIxn0VHb
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh49qiOtRho
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaGHvOrA33
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckMfobq2SZ
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDii1LQNwfS
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOY24g34dn
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczyYdT5cmA
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryY9zN1T8j
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiQv8phH6d
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSIJdt93w7
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdTc4POFuu
Annie：我真係好自卑481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXCgHHTeyB
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtIYWgfCiy
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5eODAnw8I
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ702wqotjDl
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuZaLgMrSu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXt21ONgzS
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZZfCh1KEQ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHTRSTd4lk
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2ZZmRSbS3
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0tM2DgpSZ
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWnmt5jW8q
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm914rfjXpD
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqy2c47Kug
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPX5GjgcCz
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhtwxI4sE8
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zk3X3gKDn
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxC1c2a8dk6
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5TQ2M3ZWFP
我：我好想食豬扒飯。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpXqgnQUAp
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQ879YVAo8
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwYZx4Q9X8
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfOuXb2h1f
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFYIv9xbB6
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO02ZIr6Neu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmnjODWVFH
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1oKjKBDnl
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCV0nPZ1XJ
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOCkYUWigq
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6OTdbXByI
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNo2aDZZ5J
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMse91z9AuD
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡos7fwfcluq
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOQEaGF20V
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTuiKNoJob
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrmbShMKtn
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53GIuFI2Ul
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0fZNhaErI
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3opNzo2XNl
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Qv1g6S2xL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HnqRMVoPZ
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXr0XplTBJ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbUD538dcg
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJugrpu0YH
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwSYgXy38r
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgUACbxl1K
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9cq6xdiHp
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NRrhiwPxN
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkECdiTHLyP
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJuyeHLkCm
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOEIFIAVgu
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUsrLsSChR
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7t8w0YcmRG
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpi9cHtUNz
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkREnQkmD0
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7HIgJZiXP
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMu4783KC4
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66fQEbgMFT
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3H80WX9Tg3
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7UO76GdOI
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWi23I0IMB
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVViqrRsKeu
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPr4fZvVuWq
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VpO3tOXen
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFJiIxPQbW
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5ocPDYqMv
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBwlQdswNG
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLRAFpWXrv
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhsZ0dvMjF
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6e1SpRuMtZ
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe9iCkVuNu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbY3e1co3HA
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWm8M17xoqb
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9y1r0f8gyP
我：我憑直覺亂估咋481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6ZYZNbpDO
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTKQ8o4UTv
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQHYpNTv75
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMeA1pqFdD
我思索了一會，然後回覆。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvER76WhDEJ
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPqU5nFO6n
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGHzK3GOQp
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8T6izS7UMV
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQ6phGtpTL
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6Z6RMqG2m
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41h72NkjZI
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2JFGJl1QO
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfsJXS9vdO
我：你本身都係bi？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRk7pBv2Be1
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHg9XQGfNUr
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytuaqq6MeN
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4Xw9rqrPI
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RPpyEmzyy
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOawVcJehya
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZM1krkP5f
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDg3NkZVxSO
我：人工閪😏481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuwaxtyZSu
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSAORN8MAa
Annie：😳😳481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDexo5q62cb
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQG2aRoNRFi
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3FgMdUzc6O
481Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJxId3itq5
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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