在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd8DIAob1i
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MTYWqd0eN
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6P5T2RyeWT
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUockZe94k
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlM0NEulp8
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJgVOwofRD
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkaAzSK1y9
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5B1Kp3fso
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlh58I3KdK
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpXhaLBm3pk
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ90XlHK0UL
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15Am2Ic5Hy
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rNhOJjcrW
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttuEmE1X6k
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bc1DkpwQQ
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIqJU0Ghdf
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LfWBF9svp
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4iIUB7dlU
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNNF8Ji28L
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96cguoPRDh
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsh9joOZggR
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpJsWwNcTh
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLshpyqLQC
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1BF6kgi99
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMY8k8qWCXn
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWePHI6A8Ao
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZ6TghkJVM
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBok6lNJ7r
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMrHn8Bbud
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAsr6h9GjJ
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRGquITk0I
Annie：我真係好自卑448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFPHrYbiCX
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokXQNu668P
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5euoueQF6
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBxugSQRrW
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKpwgDUT4s
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzedIkasJDg
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL5Vdw9z0v
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwXdf82n8c
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5vQiRpuSO
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeZZX44PLn
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NXkYhB901
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3HSxGpkKj
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZM4xwsNq7U
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ9y8imNZl
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wEmzagqMr
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoBSLE6n9c
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOoYFZMHn8
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGisjMqpHmo
我：我好想食豬扒飯。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwEiibKTJN
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrzDY5r1Xo
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpRMIEnmyI
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoReMlKDDv
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavlOyJ6Rp6
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDP77jucWg
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RSsAt1gH2
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfuqMTIF7Y
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkqt6bzQxQ
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwDQASgNkG
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxp4IJSpmM8
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGp7ZOs78pA
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXG2UvanMhK
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcd9owda6wy
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrqzgfMZsD
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3PrwM6aAJ
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMRGlxRzt9
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIA8jFEw2s
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA5esTdHRg
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknNtDkYkvw
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbwJaqZDj1
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBoe9BXW77
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYubwisn7m
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfkhPc0Nqj
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTrbATARph
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUhDOoPJWA
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4tf20LfjC
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJg1Ivuhnh5
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFjDiDTJ3G
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUCYrNkxOQ
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl3gncoB67
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnh5GCx6LZx
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQj5yzXVOv
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KlIg4u4N7
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmMeHBKXvY
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv20t7lYsZQ
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoYlUWwaYB
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9bygXQJUF
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12CH4IUZ69
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBtsYWRhP9
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBSqut68R7
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAlJ3zPecE
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1RM0yHX86
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeq6y0plmy8
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX0P676xkA
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4x8gXzac4P
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiYOnx310D
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68zrIU0X3N
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiOfEBYT8v
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6pzLipWBt
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXJD0bTEP9
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9rX3IvdKy
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzjNtWfGwH
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh6gFgvuII
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeuWuxMdisY
我：我憑直覺亂估咋448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRsTD4BSSJ
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHsLf1bMPx
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwgLejHCVD
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5odj9MZxy
我思索了一會，然後回覆。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPfj2OGrzC
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oC9LzFxWJ
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxxbxf5DtJ
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5cMKknuDD
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqNnprTl2V
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKrU63jGeh
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBcm9OaXId
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvLOJz9xnh
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVPTZvtmP5
我：你本身都係bi？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8K3xvkEDDO
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktp5vGwceq
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9LpQ7pCQp
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48oZYcccch
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzqndH72cl
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhGNnjVi0k
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhk3Zd8bDs
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcle4iJA7i
我：人工閪😏448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡofjVPZ3yJp
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ564JZqL1Sv
Annie：😳😳448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIW606vXAb
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxrXaghLx6
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8LVeF8sui4
448Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvaxl54q3F
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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