在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZDwbcHlRx
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyhKRiHqYV
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qTpfhk5Ao
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8pHMxK1HQ
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVWZxGbhSb
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDD0Sf0jgpq
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX2AMDAYKc
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQ4Hs4VHdK
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3ptyyHN4m
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn0ive3wUL
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmGzXeSySn
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZorhYNsUoo
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfIDZlt1wP
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdw2D9C7EO
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKIswvv3s1
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMA2agMwqaO
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYqU4pa6Vw
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNkLZ31YUDS
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEK8NNyuXbv
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJ1G0CzcfC
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBWav2KFDE
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zYAuI34RX
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnBczL9qJ9
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58TRKCPvmq
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrRs4Vsxdp
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hpGGhwuQQ
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5BC9ht9fk
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrgzfvlMFj
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61BP2m1YGD
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqZ7WCpLHc
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ww8kMudNX
Annie：我真係好自卑423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55mReKB8Z5
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYVBxXhoSw
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRw6hCXfiar
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlz6TjWBnp5
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsllXGxTTw
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsoI6lr89uy
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBRlI5ifgs
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYMpClkmVF
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfkPQ7L814
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlwHBQ7HAqu
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFA6HRYwuJ
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpa3r5eR5Ix
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEc4TaEmRN7
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuLSYOLUUn
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BJ56OThn4
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4sMjgG0Rm
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVINdfzACKH
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaky8x4ztj
我：我好想食豬扒飯。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjyo7678by
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrMQ6bvBFr
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40Eet6sCh9
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSaJXxrcVb2
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡona1TkYGsA
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr4uHxTIDZH
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdrWfqXM0E
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFfszPKqke
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2siHbcG6bS
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkAQ8DkKlv
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GCqoxsWzm
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnc1wEYoogw
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDHSzhfBYk
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyxjpktneb
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv4zfTYVua
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdmdspu29Y
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmwpybNkDK
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQdJZeLVlj
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGg6DH1mxAT
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwp2CM6Aumv
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6JTMzaRTt
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVm6svsKDd9
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfBXZGJNByz
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjgBnDpAqa
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUK7UYjsDm
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pVPVmYnp3
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkvU6qtGYi
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2t3oFQwig
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkY9c6zwrUP
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIZvSLSL6S
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5V7r3hpOh
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiAfitAHgo
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUc2KUzTLu
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFCDW4ICtL
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrKH9Syev0
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhexvmtssx
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0jA2wryqY
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhPD4eSt13
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjJIYborLZ
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYU1btKs41r
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwsvpnRr3H
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrTHIZz00O
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX983I6lHfo
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7yf2eCzK2
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVaq5CV63T
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9G8yX66K9
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkw0XVkPlA
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcTw7s0o9X
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP0DWGrkli5
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxXDJMAAtT
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAsTqozePq
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5R2s5iL0t
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJHWTobVIX
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqdL2FsQLu
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2tzZgamJQ
我：我憑直覺亂估咋423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xXWpV4OnD
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwVRM6ITfM
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOk4QBjKTkM
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBWmuE1RdU
我思索了一會，然後回覆。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNug29e3Kg
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGktPnJ9HW
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhp9FRre8QW
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBK3IfgAb91
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKHlNugqPG
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppYJ7LGtLo
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSALML7dXGF
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJEoRLeUAN
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbG4w3skUe
我：你本身都係bi？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp9lp3hykp
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZvY9otwkW
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPoVhNC4uy
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhET3Cw7O3
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO18WAyZw2
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPW79uk0U4
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTz2GwPYAX
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFMpuOpmbhr
我：人工閪😏423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKQIO7JqKH
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTbELQ89Ah
Annie：😳😳423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Hg71BU3Oj
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6czHBpEqy
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0ZXhymsOV
423Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7C7rfN85to
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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