在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXLpGoE89C
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1fyezno4hf
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZsZEPIaFW
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntK5HDcxMk
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuaiBzleL1
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aM4zGLfUd
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SPZrBFFz7
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8b8r0Tgvw
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkdmycxNVs
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6CbnWyIX1
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5dMNmkLMf
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DzJyMLo4j
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgRCY8Qc64
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1E4CVbp2J4
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IkGKJEWBl
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBxfZCQI4s
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rkZkQDKlc
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwlrfOGeR1d
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawet6DSc2l
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM4QntGl9M
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5hEhEGymn
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FFaCARtyz
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2V13KUnrIC
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuZxLBtndc
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdM09HrIhV
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBGzBGCDF8
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfekZdEAJoK
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmp3oh1U0m
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDKIWqlbdq
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28DevYbPmz
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVmyLAsb6d
Annie：我真係好自卑508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxY8iDu6BWM
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGcSEVSIIn
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fIIK7m8WZ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhIppinRM0
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoeTGKlfR7
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouXoJ5gwZF
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xmHl47xvR
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkLWvC1l3y
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF2JWC9PXb
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NOwOaEBvf
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXPyQSUvx3a
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ag1E28JHw
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LBtEl8Hd7
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjJeKRFAz4
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnsLg2Eavo
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡemNWBKyrPT
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKX8Y82CZx5
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7o1MJuto8
我：我好想食豬扒飯。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnG2Wbd7IG
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfeLNmjcirz
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpY8gRbOPDH
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSF0dz7R7A
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6y4EduOwn
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9v99w11jgA
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GU7FGyOm0
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07FzzgVpvG
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW342K1HyNM
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmf6LAs1dD
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcl7KlagFx
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJTgVc8jba
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TYbQ17y3J
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxYVRaiPL6
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡupYrlivsZ0
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCGBkuWhGB
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GmQOSV1lG
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQ0ATT0Bze
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAW11VBZTo0
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16bMeRcpSK
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqYAsjHoiv
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUkJYJkokp
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4w9BReY6A
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAKMlvLpgU
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmmb0YnYx2
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJX5bW8QPm
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulA9wV8ZuE
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qhAKr0P44
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGvlWQGxVl
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zzGLvfFbz
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ni1bKaI60
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFD0RQT9VB
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAECEeVMvG
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfn6WKCQqA
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04cD111Pc9
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuszZ7zOkZw
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZQKWjCtFR
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhkHpZk7F9
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9glMlmcy4
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEimCEzfRN
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTeRsrk7N0
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQB9IjjXY3y
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a0Nbt9JU4
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19SPY9C7Em
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsSXH8ybfX
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2L3tpGrH3
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekytQNdWRd
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwYv4noKNif
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTMrjw9edY
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDp4OFPVUR
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjgMnDuWRo
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFks6a5xsU
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt7q1HbNzf
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbkcYso4mj
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwRHafyjTb
我：我憑直覺亂估咋508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpfTezljmV
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLWIhZITq8
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cTwOEqDVF
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYb55mqDyRR
我思索了一會，然後回覆。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoAHF8D85b
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJnoL1jxOb
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4JhXKOmcP
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Wg9QqCX0R
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCe5jEHAkPF
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKxtQe2LmD
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMW6LuXDhwM
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcG1CHlNWCU
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefdr0jE5PB
我：你本身都係bi？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWT2JSjoFdz
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2GaZyMRXu
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpucJvADO0
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6KLZLAqVV
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORFOdp0MvI
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4lmyDeqNj
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Gkq93ip7N
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5ghPYeUza
我：人工閪😏508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK8dFcaZRs
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooiJvjhwIb
Annie：😳😳508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfIkzZjm57
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hrfYortM3
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBxEswbrpQ
508Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXzLE9rT9p
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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