在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。448Please respect copyright.PENANAOd8DIAob1i
448Please respect copyright.PENANA2MTYWqd0eN
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:448Please respect copyright.PENANA6P5T2RyeWT
448Please respect copyright.PENANAeUockZe94k
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?448Please respect copyright.PENANAYlM0NEulp8
448Please respect copyright.PENANAPJgVOwofRD
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAFkaAzSK1y9
448Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5B1Kp3fso
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。448Please respect copyright.PENANASlh58I3KdK
448Please respect copyright.PENANApXhaLBm3pk
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。448Please respect copyright.PENANAQ90XlHK0UL
448Please respect copyright.PENANA15Am2Ic5Hy
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!448Please respect copyright.PENANA4rNhOJjcrW
448Please respect copyright.PENANAttuEmE1X6k
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。448Please respect copyright.PENANA1bc1DkpwQQ
448Please respect copyright.PENANAkIqJU0Ghdf
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。448Please respect copyright.PENANA3LfWBF9svp
448Please respect copyright.PENANAq4iIUB7dlU
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。448Please respect copyright.PENANAxNNF8Ji28L
448Please respect copyright.PENANA96cguoPRDh
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。448Please respect copyright.PENANAsh9joOZggR
448Please respect copyright.PENANAMpJsWwNcTh
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。448Please respect copyright.PENANAvLshpyqLQC
448Please respect copyright.PENANAX1BF6kgi99
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAMY8k8qWCXn
448Please respect copyright.PENANAWePHI6A8Ao
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣448Please respect copyright.PENANAEZ6TghkJVM
448Please respect copyright.PENANAlBok6lNJ7r
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?448Please respect copyright.PENANAWMrHn8Bbud
448Please respect copyright.PENANAQAsr6h9GjJ
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我448Please respect copyright.PENANAIRGquITk0I
Annie:我真係好自卑448Please respect copyright.PENANAtFPHrYbiCX
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有448Please respect copyright.PENANAokXQNu668P
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。448Please respect copyright.PENANAw5euoueQF6
448Please respect copyright.PENANAIBxugSQRrW
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。448Please respect copyright.PENANArKpwgDUT4s
448Please respect copyright.PENANAzedIkasJDg
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。448Please respect copyright.PENANAcL5Vdw9z0v
448Please respect copyright.PENANADwXdf82n8c
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。448Please respect copyright.PENANAD5vQiRpuSO
448Please respect copyright.PENANASeZZX44PLn
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。448Please respect copyright.PENANA1NXkYhB901
448Please respect copyright.PENANAr3HSxGpkKj
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。448Please respect copyright.PENANAZM4xwsNq7U
448Please respect copyright.PENANAkJ9y8imNZl
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?448Please respect copyright.PENANA6wEmzagqMr
448Please respect copyright.PENANAOoBSLE6n9c
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。448Please respect copyright.PENANAOOoYFZMHn8
448Please respect copyright.PENANAGisjMqpHmo
我:我好想食豬扒飯。448Please respect copyright.PENANAmwEiibKTJN
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAtrzDY5r1Xo
448Please respect copyright.PENANARpRMIEnmyI
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!448Please respect copyright.PENANAGoReMlKDDv
448Please respect copyright.PENANAavlOyJ6Rp6
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。448Please respect copyright.PENANAoDP77jucWg
448Please respect copyright.PENANA9RSsAt1gH2
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAmfuqMTIF7Y
448Please respect copyright.PENANARkqt6bzQxQ
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑448Please respect copyright.PENANAUwDQASgNkG
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒448Please respect copyright.PENANAxp4IJSpmM8
448Please respect copyright.PENANAGp7ZOs78pA
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。448Please respect copyright.PENANAXG2UvanMhK
448Please respect copyright.PENANAcd9owda6wy
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。448Please respect copyright.PENANAxrqzgfMZsD
448Please respect copyright.PENANAs3PrwM6aAJ
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。448Please respect copyright.PENANAmMRGlxRzt9
448Please respect copyright.PENANAjIA8jFEw2s
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。448Please respect copyright.PENANADA5esTdHRg
448Please respect copyright.PENANAknNtDkYkvw
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。448Please respect copyright.PENANATbwJaqZDj1
448Please respect copyright.PENANAjBoe9BXW77
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。448Please respect copyright.PENANAgYubwisn7m
448Please respect copyright.PENANAqfkhPc0Nqj
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?448Please respect copyright.PENANAyTrbATARph
448Please respect copyright.PENANAXUhDOoPJWA
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。448Please respect copyright.PENANAT4tf20LfjC
448Please respect copyright.PENANAJg1Ivuhnh5
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。448Please respect copyright.PENANAXFjDiDTJ3G
448Please respect copyright.PENANApUCYrNkxOQ
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。448Please respect copyright.PENANAEl3gncoB67
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺448Please respect copyright.PENANAnh5GCx6LZx
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走448Please respect copyright.PENANAmQj5yzXVOv
448Please respect copyright.PENANA7KlIg4u4N7
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAfmMeHBKXvY
448Please respect copyright.PENANAv20t7lYsZQ
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大448Please respect copyright.PENANAsoYlUWwaYB
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身448Please respect copyright.PENANAq9bygXQJUF
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J448Please respect copyright.PENANA12CH4IUZ69
448Please respect copyright.PENANAJBtsYWRhP9
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAhBSqut68R7
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAyAlJ3zPecE
448Please respect copyright.PENANAr1RM0yHX86
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。448Please respect copyright.PENANAeq6y0plmy8
448Please respect copyright.PENANAbX0P676xkA
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。448Please respect copyright.PENANA4x8gXzac4P
448Please respect copyright.PENANAyiYOnx310D
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。448Please respect copyright.PENANA68zrIU0X3N
448Please respect copyright.PENANAdiOfEBYT8v
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?448Please respect copyright.PENANAe6pzLipWBt
448Please respect copyright.PENANAWXJD0bTEP9
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAX9rX3IvdKy
448Please respect copyright.PENANAjzjNtWfGwH
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANAxh6gFgvuII
448Please respect copyright.PENANAeuWuxMdisY
我:我憑直覺亂估咋448Please respect copyright.PENANAZRsTD4BSSJ
448Please respect copyright.PENANApHsLf1bMPx
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?448Please respect copyright.PENANArwgLejHCVD
448Please respect copyright.PENANAc5odj9MZxy
我思索了一會,然後回覆。448Please respect copyright.PENANAhPfj2OGrzC
448Please respect copyright.PENANA6oC9LzFxWJ
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。448Please respect copyright.PENANAqxxbxf5DtJ
448Please respect copyright.PENANAC5cMKknuDD
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。448Please respect copyright.PENANAnqNnprTl2V
448Please respect copyright.PENANAVKrU63jGeh
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy448Please respect copyright.PENANAcBcm9OaXId
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度448Please respect copyright.PENANApvLOJz9xnh
448Please respect copyright.PENANAmVPTZvtmP5
我:你本身都係bi?448Please respect copyright.PENANA8K3xvkEDDO
448Please respect copyright.PENANAktp5vGwceq
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑448Please respect copyright.PENANAU9LpQ7pCQp
448Please respect copyright.PENANA48oZYcccch
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水448Please respect copyright.PENANAgzqndH72cl
448Please respect copyright.PENANAfhGNnjVi0k
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?448Please respect copyright.PENANAnhk3Zd8bDs
448Please respect copyright.PENANAGcle4iJA7i
我:人工閪😏448Please respect copyright.PENANAofjVPZ3yJp
448Please respect copyright.PENANA564JZqL1Sv
Annie:😳😳448Please respect copyright.PENANAWIW606vXAb
448Please respect copyright.PENANAsxrXaghLx6
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊448Please respect copyright.PENANA8LVeF8sui4
448Please respect copyright.PENANAyvaxl54q3F
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?