在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。508Please respect copyright.PENANAzXLpGoE89C
508Please respect copyright.PENANA1fyezno4hf
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:508Please respect copyright.PENANAoZsZEPIaFW
508Please respect copyright.PENANAntK5HDcxMk
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?508Please respect copyright.PENANAPuaiBzleL1
508Please respect copyright.PENANA2aM4zGLfUd
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANA9SPZrBFFz7
508Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8b8r0Tgvw
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。508Please respect copyright.PENANAVkdmycxNVs
508Please respect copyright.PENANAE6CbnWyIX1
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。508Please respect copyright.PENANAi5dMNmkLMf
508Please respect copyright.PENANA2DzJyMLo4j
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!508Please respect copyright.PENANAAgRCY8Qc64
508Please respect copyright.PENANA1E4CVbp2J4
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。508Please respect copyright.PENANA9IkGKJEWBl
508Please respect copyright.PENANApBxfZCQI4s
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。508Please respect copyright.PENANA6rkZkQDKlc
508Please respect copyright.PENANAwlrfOGeR1d
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。508Please respect copyright.PENANAawet6DSc2l
508Please respect copyright.PENANAFM4QntGl9M
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。508Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5hEhEGymn
508Please respect copyright.PENANA4FFaCARtyz
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。508Please respect copyright.PENANA2V13KUnrIC
508Please respect copyright.PENANAUuZxLBtndc
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANAvdM09HrIhV
508Please respect copyright.PENANAwBGzBGCDF8
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣508Please respect copyright.PENANAfekZdEAJoK
508Please respect copyright.PENANAfmp3oh1U0m
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?508Please respect copyright.PENANAUDKIWqlbdq
508Please respect copyright.PENANA28DevYbPmz
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我508Please respect copyright.PENANAGVmyLAsb6d
Annie:我真係好自卑508Please respect copyright.PENANAxY8iDu6BWM
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有508Please respect copyright.PENANAsGcSEVSIIn
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。508Please respect copyright.PENANA3fIIK7m8WZ
508Please respect copyright.PENANAuhIppinRM0
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。508Please respect copyright.PENANAKoeTGKlfR7
508Please respect copyright.PENANAouXoJ5gwZF
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。508Please respect copyright.PENANA8xmHl47xvR
508Please respect copyright.PENANALkLWvC1l3y
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。508Please respect copyright.PENANAEF2JWC9PXb
508Please respect copyright.PENANA3NOwOaEBvf
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。508Please respect copyright.PENANAXPyQSUvx3a
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或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。508Please respect copyright.PENANA3LBtEl8Hd7
508Please respect copyright.PENANACjJeKRFAz4
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?508Please respect copyright.PENANAGnsLg2Eavo
508Please respect copyright.PENANAemNWBKyrPT
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。508Please respect copyright.PENANAKX8Y82CZx5
508Please respect copyright.PENANAr7o1MJuto8
我:我好想食豬扒飯。508Please respect copyright.PENANAYnG2Wbd7IG
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANAfeLNmjcirz
508Please respect copyright.PENANApY8gRbOPDH
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!508Please respect copyright.PENANAQSF0dz7R7A
508Please respect copyright.PENANAX6y4EduOwn
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。508Please respect copyright.PENANA9v99w11jgA
508Please respect copyright.PENANA8GU7FGyOm0
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANA07FzzgVpvG
508Please respect copyright.PENANAW342K1HyNM
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑508Please respect copyright.PENANAAmf6LAs1dD
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒508Please respect copyright.PENANAdcl7KlagFx
508Please respect copyright.PENANAzJTgVc8jba
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。508Please respect copyright.PENANA7TYbQ17y3J
508Please respect copyright.PENANAPxYVRaiPL6
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。508Please respect copyright.PENANAupYrlivsZ0
508Please respect copyright.PENANANCGBkuWhGB
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。508Please respect copyright.PENANA4GmQOSV1lG
508Please respect copyright.PENANARQ0ATT0Bze
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。508Please respect copyright.PENANAAW11VBZTo0
508Please respect copyright.PENANA16bMeRcpSK
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。508Please respect copyright.PENANApqYAsjHoiv
508Please respect copyright.PENANAtUkJYJkokp
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。508Please respect copyright.PENANAv4w9BReY6A
508Please respect copyright.PENANAPAKMlvLpgU
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?508Please respect copyright.PENANAzmmb0YnYx2
508Please respect copyright.PENANAQJX5bW8QPm
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。508Please respect copyright.PENANAulA9wV8ZuE
508Please respect copyright.PENANA7qhAKr0P44
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。508Please respect copyright.PENANAxGvlWQGxVl
508Please respect copyright.PENANA4zzGLvfFbz
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。508Please respect copyright.PENANA1ni1bKaI60
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺508Please respect copyright.PENANAFFD0RQT9VB
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走508Please respect copyright.PENANAxAECEeVMvG
508Please respect copyright.PENANAKfn6WKCQqA
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANA04cD111Pc9
508Please respect copyright.PENANAuszZ7zOkZw
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大508Please respect copyright.PENANAHZQKWjCtFR
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身508Please respect copyright.PENANAlhkHpZk7F9
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J508Please respect copyright.PENANAT9glMlmcy4
508Please respect copyright.PENANAiEimCEzfRN
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANAYTeRsrk7N0
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANAQB9IjjXY3y
508Please respect copyright.PENANA5a0Nbt9JU4
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。508Please respect copyright.PENANA19SPY9C7Em
508Please respect copyright.PENANAMsSXH8ybfX
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。508Please respect copyright.PENANAE2L3tpGrH3
508Please respect copyright.PENANAekytQNdWRd
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。508Please respect copyright.PENANAwYv4noKNif
508Please respect copyright.PENANAxTMrjw9edY
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?508Please respect copyright.PENANABDp4OFPVUR
508Please respect copyright.PENANAJjgMnDuWRo
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANAQFks6a5xsU
508Please respect copyright.PENANAkt7q1HbNzf
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANAqbkcYso4mj
508Please respect copyright.PENANAzwRHafyjTb
我:我憑直覺亂估咋508Please respect copyright.PENANAJpfTezljmV
508Please respect copyright.PENANARLWIhZITq8
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?508Please respect copyright.PENANA4cTwOEqDVF
508Please respect copyright.PENANAYb55mqDyRR
我思索了一會,然後回覆。508Please respect copyright.PENANADoAHF8D85b
508Please respect copyright.PENANAmJnoL1jxOb
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。508Please respect copyright.PENANAk4JhXKOmcP
508Please respect copyright.PENANA2Wg9QqCX0R
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。508Please respect copyright.PENANACe5jEHAkPF
508Please respect copyright.PENANAwKxtQe2LmD
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy508Please respect copyright.PENANAMW6LuXDhwM
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度508Please respect copyright.PENANAcG1CHlNWCU
508Please respect copyright.PENANAefdr0jE5PB
我:你本身都係bi?508Please respect copyright.PENANAWT2JSjoFdz
508Please respect copyright.PENANAv2GaZyMRXu
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑508Please respect copyright.PENANAfpucJvADO0
508Please respect copyright.PENANAE6KLZLAqVV
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水508Please respect copyright.PENANAORFOdp0MvI
508Please respect copyright.PENANAY4lmyDeqNj
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?508Please respect copyright.PENANA1Gkq93ip7N
508Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5ghPYeUza
我:人工閪😏508Please respect copyright.PENANAnK8dFcaZRs
508Please respect copyright.PENANAooiJvjhwIb
Annie:😳😳508Please respect copyright.PENANApfIkzZjm57
508Please respect copyright.PENANA8hrfYortM3
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊508Please respect copyright.PENANAHBxEswbrpQ
508Please respect copyright.PENANAcXzLE9rT9p
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?