「我都想要一個男朋友可以同我女裝出街。」318Please respect copyright.PENANAXp3bJkJ3F2
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「你太索喇,我好期待你男裝時係咩樣。」318Please respect copyright.PENANArSrU39deSN
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記得我在5年前,曾經在一個動漫展裡穿上JK服。然後不久,便馬上有兩個女生來搭訕。318Please respect copyright.PENANAVQaLdYP9kj
318Please respect copyright.PENANA0DNqarqFW5
其中一個女生,當時束著短髮,身穿著很隨性的男裝(但都是中性那種,而不是真正的男性化),都是很腐女打扮的T-shirt和下身配上短褲。318Please respect copyright.PENANANiKzlvteHM
318Please respect copyright.PENANAJamHogiVrD
相信對很多直男來講,一般都不喜歡自己的心儀目標愛上男性打扮,或者頂多是只能接受中性的打扮;一遇到這類型,除非長相特別好看,否則都是掉頭走,連嘗試也不用。318Please respect copyright.PENANAcf4kG1JkUC
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然而,當時的我卻想投放一點點的情感下去嘗試。318Please respect copyright.PENANAKLMEfDfv2L
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至於跟她同行的女生,則是傳統上那種長相清秀,整體顏值不俗的女生。當然,我同時也被這種傳統上的直女所吸引。318Please respect copyright.PENANAVGZqOgJz84
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後來知道,原來該短髮的女生是雙性戀者。318Please respect copyright.PENANACLRfEnJmI2
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當然,以我的性格,我最終還是沒有採取積極行動去嘗試。至今,也沒再找她們了。318Please respect copyright.PENANA4LMKpEXPAf
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「你鍾意男定女?」318Please respect copyright.PENANATk7ZfH4leD
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不論是在app上,還是現實,偶然有人會問我這個問題。318Please respect copyright.PENANACaKi4HEH3q
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如果只是問「喜歡」的話,我還可以簡地地回答:「女」。318Please respect copyright.PENANAuTfPnYMUHT
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但是如果換個問法:你是同性戀還是異性戀?雙性戀?318Please respect copyright.PENANAj5Yvhb9H47
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這就真的難答了。318Please respect copyright.PENANAPitTOFMBQy
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第一,我有戀女裝的傾向,性愛畫面裡不是首先想到傳統上的男女、男男或女女的那種情節;純粹在情感上想找個女生作伴,如果硬要包括性生活才數的話,那麼我更像一個「無性戀者」。318Please respect copyright.PENANAiOmUYswul0
318Please respect copyright.PENANAaZtVK8dNpm
第二,「同性」、「異性」、「雙性」,都是預設立場地把人類的性別只劃分做男和女兩種;然而這個世界並非「非男即女」。318Please respect copyright.PENANAi3O3BTCrrC
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第三,如果我穿著女裝去喜歡一個直女,甚至再極端點說,「偽娘喜歡一個TB」,那該定義為「男男」、「女女」,還是「男女」呢?這就更複雜了。318Please respect copyright.PENANAtKhvPa7msY
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言歸正傳,再談交女朋友的問題。318Please respect copyright.PENANA00uNRIK5ab
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起初我被女生稱讚女裝很美的時候,我常常很容易以為該女生對自己有感情上的好感,會容易自作多情。幸好的是,一向我都是欠行動力,所以才沒有做出甚麼「自殺式表白」的行為。318Please respect copyright.PENANAqFMLoYLMhB
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隨著閱歷愈豐富,就慢慢意識到有些女生只是為了應付交際,才說出純粹應酬的話,內心不一定是喜歡我。318Please respect copyright.PENANAp3kAC8RzjE
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同時,我也漸漸發覺到,光靠「女裝」帶給自己的交際力量是絕對不夠的,我還需要演好男性這個角色,如果想同時找直女的話,就得必須同時做好男性角色的。318Please respect copyright.PENANAoaci49J1Lw
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再者,畢竟未來的社會愈開明,就會有愈多的女裝大佬浮上水面,當數量愈多,「偽娘」終一天還是會貶值,所以是不得不尋求進步。318Please respect copyright.PENANAzAMKGVA32v
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使用交友app久了,我也長出慧眼,懂得怎樣找出屬於自己的市場。318Please respect copyright.PENANA74XgTQENfJ