As soon as I got out of the hospital, I threw up.
Josh had skipped his classes that day to make sure I was alright. I got discharged, and we just went on a walk. We just walked, side by side, hands intertwined, down the street, just talking about life, about love.
And of course that motherfucker popped into my head. I pictured James and Augustine in love, and my body decided to get rid of my breakfast. By throwing it back up my throat. So yeah, it was a great way to start the day.
“Baby, are you still sick? Do I need to take you back to the hospital?” Josh asked.
I groaned. “No, absolutely not, I’m fine. I just thought of something super off-putting, and it made me sick. I promise, I’m okay,” I told him.
He eyed me questioningly. “Hm, okay, I guess,” he said. He sounded like he didn’t believe me.
We swung our hands back and forth while we walked. The scenery was beautiful. The leaves were starting to fall down, like pieces into place.
Autumn was by far my favorite season. It was so gorgeous, and the temperature was perfect.
When I had just started dating James, he took me on a day-long date during the prime of fall, where half of the leaves have already fallen. The air was flooded with the warm, home-y scent of the season, and all the beautiful colors were surrounding us. I had worn a red sweater that day, and the entire day just made me so happy.
I knew Josh wouldn’t go to any of his classes that day, so I decided to ask him.
“Do we have any plans today?” I asked him.
He smiled down at me. “No, why? What are you thinking, gorgeous?” he replied.
“Well, autumn is my absolute favorite time of year, and I was wondering if we could spend the day together, doing fall things. Like a trip to the pumpkin patch or an apple orchard, taking pictures with all of the leaves, and then watching a Halloween movie late at night in matching pajamas. That kind of stuff,” I explained.
His smile spread across his face more. “This is exactly what you want to do?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes,” I said.
He squeezed my hand. “Let’s do it. We can go to your house first if you want to change first,” he said.
We walked back down the road in the direction we had come from, where his backup car was. He had gone out and rented another one while I was still sleeping this morning so we could drive around until his parents could drive his car here.
He drove much more carefully this time and focused more on the road than me. Which was great for safety, but I love that he adores me so much.
I had to fight so fucking much for James’s love. It was like he was always thinking of someone else, someone better, someone pretty, someone who would do what he wanted when he wanted to. And it obviously wasn’t me.
After a comforting car ride filled with silence (beside Josh humming), we got to my house. I went into my room and changed into a pair of looser fit black ripped jeans and a cropped cream colored sweater. I threw my panda dunks on and did a quick, simple makeup look with a dramatic eyeliner wing for effect. These can go straight onto my Instagram later.
I walked out of my room and a smile lit up Josh’s face. His mouth opened as I walked closer. I slid into his arms, his hands resting on my hips.
“Goddamn, my love! You look so fucking hot,” he said, moving his hands up and down my waist and hips.
I smiled up at him. “Come on, babe, keep it in your pants. We have things to do. Ooh, can we get starbucks? It would be such a fall aesthetic,” I said.
He nodded and slipped his hands into mine. “Let’s make my queen happy then,” he said.
Of course I ordered a Pumpkin Spice Latte. Well, Josh ordered it for me. I always get too scared.
We went outside into the woods with all the colored leaves. He took so many great pictures of me, it was so wonderful.
We went to an apple orchard after that to pick apples. Me and Josh held hands almost the whole day.
He took me to a street fair a few towns over for dinner. We played games, rode the ferris wheel while the sun was setting, it was the most romantic thing.
My head resting on his shoulder with his head on top of mine, holding hands and watching the beautiful sunset.
Then we went back to my house and changed into the matching Halloween pajamas that he bought. We cuddled and watched a Halloween movie. It was the best day.
And to top of the perfect day, we had sex. I wasn’t surprised. Josh had been turned on all day.
But somehow, that wasn’t even the highlight of the day.
Me and my boyfriend were asleep in my bed, and my phone started ringing really loud.
I assumed it was Este, so I picked my phone up, but the caller ID told me it was Rebekah. So I hung up and set my phone back down on its wireless charger.
Then she called me again immediately after, so I was kind of forced to pick up.
I took my phone out into the living room to answer her so I didn’t wake Josh.
“What do you need, it’s 3 am,” I said with obvious attitude.
All I heard was my sister choking on tears.
“He’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead! My husband just died and I need you, can you please come?”
I gasped. “Oh my god! Of course, I’ll be there as soon as I can,” I said. Then she hung up on me.
I ran back to my room and flipped the lights on. Josh jolted awake.
I started throwing on the most basic clothes ever; a thong, bra, gray sweatpants and my blue Calgary crewneck that I got when I went on vacation there with Este on spring break last year.
“Babe, what’s wrong?” Josh asked.
“Hurry, get dressed, Rebekah called and said that Bill’s dead, and she needs me,” I said, putting my socks on and slipping into my Birks.
“Oh shit,” he said, full on jumping out of bed. He tossed me his car keys, telling me to go get in the car and that he would be out in a minute.
He locked my front door and he drove so fast over to my sister’s house.
As soon as we pulled onto the road, we could see the ambulance lights.
Josh parked his car right outside her house, and I could see her crying with her face in her hands on the front porch.
Oh shit.
I jumped out of the car and ran up to where Rebekah was sitting. I sat down beside her and wrapped my arms around her. She turned and hugged me back, soaking my crewneck with tears.
Josh came up and sat on her other side, rubbing her back while she cried.
Long story short, it was a very long night.
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