I left Rebekah’s house at 4:00 am to get some sleep. I had plans to go dress shopping with Este later that day.
Josh had asked me to my homecoming that night before after we left Theo’s house. I liked his friends a lot. Eric and Zoe were so cute together. They were so funny, too. Gigi was my favorite. Me and her talked like I could with Este.
My visit with Rebekah was nice, though. And goddamn, what a bomb. She’s pregnant.
I meant everything I told her. I’m going to be there for her and anything she needs. I mean, she’s my sister. Her husband just died, and she's two months pregnant with his child.
Yeah, sure, she’s done some highly questionable things to me in her life, but none of it matters anymore.
The poetry book she gave me is so interesting. I read the whole thing when I got back to my house.
They were so interesting. My favorites from the book were Down Bad, Guilty As Sin?, Who's Afraid of Little Old Me?, Peter, and Cassandra.
When Bek told me to read The Manuscript to tell me she was pregnant, I was in awe. She had told me that the book was her favorite book of poetry ever, and I get why. All of the poems were so beautiful and amazing.
The poem loml really hit different. It was describing someone being the love of your life, then them turning into the loss of your life after a breakup. Which is exactly who James was to me.
Not that I care. He’s dead to me.
Around 9, I threw on black leggings with an oversized gray t-shirt and my black converse and went to get a banana from the kitchen before Este picked me up. I had been saving up my money to buy a nice dress, and I had $90, which could buy me a cute, decent dress. I mean, as long as we didn’t go to a designer shop.
Este honked from my driveway as I finished my banana. I grabbed my phone and my wallet off the counter, locked the door behind me, and went out to her car.
She waved as I walked toward the passenger side of her car. I got in and sat down on her purple seat covers.
“Hey, girlie,” she said, leaning over the middle console to give me a hug.
“Hi,” I said as she let me go.
We talked about the simple things. I told her that all of Josh’s friends were nice, except Beckam. I can see why Josh doesn’t like him that much, he’s kind of an ass. But other than him, they were all pretty great.
We made plans to take pictures together on Saturday, then go to dinner before the dance.
She drove for a half hour until we pulled up to a small dress shop. We went dress shopping here last year, and they had good dresses for a good price. Not too cheap, not too expensive. So, healthy for my budget.
We went in, and a tall girl was standing at the front desk.
“Hi! I’m Allison, can I help you two out today?” she said to us.
Este smiled at her. “Not right now, we might need help with sizing later, but we’re just trying stuff on right now,” she replied.
“Alright! I’ll be around if you need me,” Allison said.
“Thank you,” I said.
I followed Este into the shop, where there were racks full of dresses, organized by color.
“Is there a specific color you’re looking for?” I asked Este.
“I don’t know. I did green for homecoming last year, and I wore blue for prom last spring, so maybe, like, pink or yellow? Because I want to get a purple prom dress this year, and I don’t want purple right now,” she replied. “What about you?”
I shrugged. “Well, I want the dramatic effect that we talked about. So black? I could do all dark makeup with that and look like an absolute badass,” I told her.
She gasped. “I forgot about that! I think it would look amazing! And so iconic. You’d be the highlight of the dance,” she told me.
“I love that,” I replied.
“This is going to be so much fun!” Este squealed.
I smiled. We both wandered off in different directions. She checked out the yellow dresses first, while I looked at the black.
I picked out a few cute ones. They were mostly tighter, form fitting dresses, but I had one that was more flowy.
Then I found the dress. And, it wasn’t a dress.
I put the other dresses back on the rack and dragged Este into a dressing room.
“You already found it? We’ve been here for 5 minutes,” she said, with an armful of dresses.
“Yes,” I said, pulling the bodysuit over my hips. “It’s the exact vibe I’m going for and it’s gorgeous.”
When I fully got it on, I stared at my reflection in the mirror. It was a black, sparkly bodysuit with a black sequin design on the front. It didn’t have legs, just had a bikini-type bottom. The bodysuit had long sleeves with little shoulder cutouts. And, it came with a little jacket that had a hood.
I slipped the jacket and put the hood up and I walked out to show Este. Her jaw dropped when she saw me.
“That. Is. Perfect!” she exclaimed.
I slipped the hood down and took off the jacket to show her the bodysuit.
“It’s amazing. You look so good in that. You have to get it,” she told me.
I nodded. “I’m going to. It’s the right size, too. I love it,” I told her.
“Good. I’m gonna start trying mine on, I love all this yellow, I don’t wanna try pink anymore,” she told me.
“Alright, I’m gonna change then,” I said.
Este went into the dressing room next to me and we both changed.
I came out of mine in my normal clothes with the bodysuit and the jacket on the hanger.
Este came out in a tight satin canary yellow dress with a funny look on her face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I mean, the dress is okay, but I love this color and I think it’s too light for me. Half of the dresses I picked out were this color,” she said.
“Yeah, it washes you out a little bit. Do you have any sunshine yellow ones? That’s still lighter and bright how you like, but not too dark,” I replied.
Her eyes lit up. “Yes! I have one in there that looks like a princess dress in that color,” she said.
She went back into the dressing room and came back out a couple minutes later, her smile so big.
“I love it so much! I want this one. I look like a princess,” she said.
The dress looked amazing. It was a sparkly, sunny yellow with a big tulle skirt.
“Este, you look so pretty,” I told her.
“Thanks!” she said, beaming at me.
She went back into the dressing room and came back out her jean shorts and t-shirt. We walked up to the register with our dresses over our arms.
She bought hers no problem, but I was short $10. Este just threw the money at the woman at the cashier like it was no problem, smiling at me while she did it. I felt embarrassed.
We hung our dresses in her trunk and then got in. She had been smiling the whole time.
“Cam’s gonna freak! He’s always saying that I look amazing in yellow,” she said.
“Because you do!” I said. We both laughed.
“Also, we did a popularity vote at lunch on Friday, right now you’re the favorite to win queen,” Este said.
“Wow, really?” I asked.
“Yeah. All the people I’ve talked to think that your absence is definitely helping you out. Because some people think you’re dead. Some think you’re super emo and embarrassed now. Others just want you to win to see if you actually show up to the dance,” she replied.
“Wait, who thinks I’m dead?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Just the stupid jocks,” she said.
“Makes sense,” I said.
She dropped me off at my house, because we both had some homework to finish before school tomorrow. I probably wouldn’t go.
I emailed all my teachers and told them that I had a family emergency and that I wouldn't be at school all week, and I got all my work for the week emailed to me so I could stay on schedule while I was at home.
It was funny to me how people thought I was dead. Really funny, actually.
Then I got an idea. I went to my voicemail for all my apps and hit ‘change voicemail’. Then I went to my voice memos to record a new one.
“Sorry, the old Betty can’t come to the phone right now. Why?” I said aloud into the speaker. Then I laughed. “Oh, ‘cause she’s dead,” I finished. Then I pressed stop.
I uploaded that onto all of my social media and saved it to my voicemail. I deleted all of my Instagram posts and everything in my bio, then typed that it.
If they think I’m dead, I might as well play the part.
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