I had no idea that going back to school would be so hard.
Josh had gone back to his dorm late last night to finish his readings for class because he’s going back today, too. I stayed up until 2 a.m. because I know how James is when he’s mad, and I was worried he was gonna come back. But then I checked his location on Snapchat and he was at his house for the last 5 hours, so he was asleep. Then I finally went to bed.
I woke up at 5:30 like usual to start getting ready. I did my makeup, took out my heatless curlers, and got dressed. I put on a pair of cream colored flared leggings with a sunshine yellow tank top and a dark gray zip up hoodie over it with one of my shoulders out.
I slipped on my panda dunks and my keys and went out for breakfast. Me and Este had made plans the night before to go to IHOP for breakfast before school.
I drove across town to IHOP, where I saw Este’s Mercedes. I parked beside her and went into the restaurant.
The host was there and took me to Este’s table. Este was wearing light blue baggy ripped jeans with a terracotta colored cropped tank top with spaghetti straps. Her long blonde hair was left down with tiny braids on the sides.
She looked up from her phone and smiled at me.
“Hey, girlie. You look so cute,” she said as she got up to give me a hug. We had a quick hug then I sat down on the other side of the booth.
“Thanks, so do you,” I said as I picked up the menu. Este had her Starbucks cold brew in front of her and handed me the other cup, which was my order.
“Thank you,” she said.
“No problem,” I replied.
She put her phone down on the table and started studying my face.
My lips turned up into a small smile. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Nothing,” she told me. “You just look a little different.”
“Is that good?” I asked.
She scrunched her nose a little. “I can’t tell.”
I smiled back at my best friend. “Okay, I guess,” I said.
The waiter came back to out table, and we both ordered chocolate chip pancakes with strawberry syrup and whipped cream.
When he left, Este put her hand on top of mine.
“You should come to my party on Friday. Well, I say party, but it’s just me and Cam. He wanted to hang out with Josh again so I said I would ask if you two wanted to hang out with us,” she told me.
“Yeah, that sounds fun. I can ask him about it,” I replied. “When you guys left the hospital, Josh kept telling me about how fun and cool Cam was.”
She let out a small laugh. “Cam was, too,” she said.
I laughed. “I swear, they’re middle school boys,” I said.
“They really are,” Este said.
I nodded. “Josh is super sweet. I’m so lucky to have him,” I said.
Este turned her head sideways. She put her hands back on top of mine. I turned mine over to hold her hands.
“It’s okay to still be sad. What James did was really shitty and completely inexcusable,” she said.
I sat there in a little bit of shock. I looked down into my lap.
“I mean it in the best way. I know you like being with Josh and everything, but you got with him the same day that you and James broke up. I mean, you were dating for two years. Whatever you say, I know for sure that you loved him. Betty, you fucking loved him so much. You have your wedding plans saved in your notes app. You wrote some amazing songs about him. And I know it wasn’t fake. And I definitely know that there is no possible way that you can be over him already,” she continued.
A tear dripped down from my eye.
“Oh, don’t cry. I’m sorry,” Este said.
“No, you’re right. I’m not okay. I do, I really like being with Josh. But he’s my cover up for my feelings. If I didn’t have him right now, I would be a complete mess,” I told her while more tears escaped.
“I know. Betty, I’m so sorry,” she said. She got up from her side and came to sit next to me and gave me a hug.
Our food came and we sat and ate our pancakes in silence.
“Goddamn, those were amazing,” Este said.
I nodded. “Fuck yeah they were.”
Her lips turned up into a small smile.
“You should come to homecoming next weekend. If you kept Josh a secret, it would look so kickass if you just walked in with him next to you. James would be jealous, and everyone would love you. Don’t let it affect you; you have a big reputation. You could wear all black and look drop dead gorgeous, and everyone would be like ‘goddamn, Betty’. It would be iconic and such an amazing comeback,” Este said.
“That’s a good idea. Be all dramatic and shit, that’s perfect,” I replied.
I got a big reputation. I like the sound of that.
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