I felt so strained.
I went over to Augustine’s house, but her grandmother told me she was sick and that she didn’t want to see me, so I just went home.
As soon as I got home, I took a beer from the fridge and drank the whole thing in about a minute.
Of course I drank until I was numb. The alcohol cabinet needed restocking, anyway.
I got completely wasted like all of my potential. It got me thinking about so much.
Betty tolerated so much of my bullshit over the years. I was so bad to her, but she doesn’t even know about all of it. Nobody does.
For one, this isn’t the first time I’ve cheated. Why was this such a big deal anyway? It’s not like we’re married or anything.
Inez was just pissed that I didn’t break up with Betty that one time we hooked up, I’m sure. I mean, she also just doesn’t like Augustine. I don’t really like her, either, she just has the curves that I wish Betty had.
And Inez was just so much better in bed than Betty was. And so much less insecure about her body. It was almost annoying how insecure Betty is. Like, be quiet already, I think you’re pretty. That’s all it took for Inez and Augustine to be quiet.
But like, it was fine for me to cheat. Not Betty. She never did, but that Oliver guy from prom set me off.
Shit, Betty thought that we were gonna get married and all that. I could never get married, I don’t wanna be held down like that.
If I’m being honest, I don’t know if Betty is even that hot. Like yeah, she’s a good person, but not hot enough to make me wanna come back. I guess it would’ve been fun if she was the one.
But I can’t be with the one.
Too many reasons to explain why. Too perfect for me, better without me, that shit.
I chugged down a little more vodka, making myself even more numb. My vision started blurring up. I sat down on my couch and blacked out.
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Betty wasn’t at school the next day, and I can’t say that I’m surprised. On my way to our homeroom, I opened her locker and put her cardigan and lip gloss in there. I found them in my room last night when my mom woke me up.
Yeah, I got pretty busted for drinking half the liquor in the house. This hangover is really bad, too. But that’s what I get, I guess.
Every noise made my head pound. The bell that rang a few moments later felt like the loudest thing ever.
Inez kept flashing me her ‘come get me’ smile. Like I would ever do that again. Mistake made.
I wanted to be anywhere but here. Not at this lame fucking school, in this stupid town, not anywhere. Only one place I wanted to be, at the lakes, where magical things have happened off and on for the last three years.
I had a piece of golden thread that I had found in my passenger side mirror. Betty put it there, saying that it was our invisible string. Whatever it meant, obviously not anymore, so I took it out and I planned to give it back to her in person.
If she wouldn’t take me back, then I guess I don’t need the invisible string or whatever anymore.
Was her choice, not mine.
Augustine was at her locker, by that girl Dorothea. I don’t even know why I know who she is. Talk about fucking invisible.
Now that I see her, Dorothea is kinda hot. I wonder if she would ever hook up with me.
Dorothea pointed at me and Augustine turned to make eye contact with me. I didn’t even hold it, I didn’t want to talk to her, right now or ever again. I walked straight ahead without acknowledging that she was calling my name.
I went into Chemistry and sat down at my table, dropping my bag to the floor and getting my phone out of my pocket. I checked my messages, still none.
Damn.
I tried texting Betty, just to try to look like the good guy. But let’s be real here.
I popped my AirPods in and started blasting Kanye, without a worry in the world.
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