Priscilla：你嚟唔嚟我屋企睇Netflix？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6QeZhcBlM
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wE8dLiyNn
慶祝過後，我就決定到Priscilla家暫過一晚。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoN7YPpMXm
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRFgO5wUQi
我：你屋企人會俾我嚟咩？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F8PVMC035
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhNyvHyfVz
Priscilla：我屋企人都喺上面，喺香港我冇親人。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKl4sTDtxz
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQBwHPwpuL
了解過後，才知原來她當初是為了工作，才來香港申請永久居民。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7J7fZsvz2
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvEvLXF1pj6
最後，我們在麥當勞點了一份二人套餐，就這樣上去Priscilla所租住的地方。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0HFy15lscO
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsySCZ2FQ0n
Priscilla所住的房子是一人房，空間和面積如我大學宿舍的二人房，她的房間也蠻整齊的，有陳列架放著她的書、化妝品，床邊也放著一些玩偶，她還懂得用精緻的白色系和綠色系的蕾絲窗簾布，來裝飾自己的房間。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtGUW8bqyA
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTKuC6NuMy
Priscilla：你有帶褲來換嗎？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFHYk1fkGm
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WkzOzt6IT
我：當然沒有啊。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDallWJZSB
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig0sylAGTM
Priscilla：我這裡有一條大碼的睡褲，應該很適合你穿。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyQHxpy3js
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilxcvaWZ7Y
我脫下外套，和換上她給的女裝睡褲，便爬上床上和她一起看Netflix上的劇集。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPlzC2Bj1y
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SdaJxWVjZ
嚴格來說，這條睡褲算不上是女裝，而是一條很中性的睡褲。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ41T8PsFPY
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY11F5KiRD
Priscilla：同你講，格離室友住嘅房仲大過我呢度一倍，但租就只係貴幾百。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5XHaVxBl5
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnevfTRrmnD
我：你呢度係專租俾女仔住？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypFPmV0fgY
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8bIvU6fYr
Priscilla：係呀。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HhdCuMnbv
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtgiOExMVY
我：咁點解你又俾我上嚟嘅？你唔驚我做啲咩㗎咩？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEm6oXhlMG
（我對她微笑地問。）359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoJ0Y9kcAv
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEfMfdCXSy
Priscilla：就係因為你係偽娘所以先俾你上嚟。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mX2ZYw4uf
Priscilla：我當你係女仔先俾你上嚟。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMi34nYefF
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QjF6HyToK
她說完，我不心想：難道我已經落入了Friendzone？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMDTR0Yo3S
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkZW5Awyv8
Priscilla：你想看甚麼？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4kmwITOfos
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmFzEIKphz
我：睇下有冇咩日劇先啦。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6jAoF5TYo
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4m2ZCmyzCL
Priscilla在iPad上滑著，表示她正在使用朋友的帳號，於是她又問我要不要一起開個屬於自己的帳號。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FHT24pmZb
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RqW7d8a6T
我：不如就開個account啦。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOYGcs9QO8
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyPzsTAeqWH
Priscilla：咁我哋就分返每個月嘅台費啦，我出住錢先。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRvdr4DLnS
Priscilla：密碼你自己定啦。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKYE9XyaO3
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOS5XRYYNW
我：咁⋯⋯密碼就用我個名，同埋今日嘅日期啦！359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMIV1uUari
我：就叫「watergod20220201」啦。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiSHyqGEx8
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkzgVpJze5
雖然現今科技發達，有Google會幫人記住自己在任何網站設下的帳戶和密碼；但我心裡還是希望Priscilla會記住我的名字，還有今天的日子。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1pNXDTfIe
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHhazHyROY
Priscilla：不如就睇呢套啦！359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSieyYIN6kQ
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj8erOOvSb
於是，她就點進了《勿說是推理》。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zJJ7qmZmv
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MuXWrmCAL
Priscilla：你唔洗返屋企咩？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJCfjZz1j7
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uzg3x4CX1
我：睇完先再算啦。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOk3SWHFkv
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3g6ZbKDlu
我們的身子都是橫向地躺在床上，身子是半坐半躺的，各自地蓋上毛氈；只有把腿子捲起來，才會勉強地把全身放在床上，我和她的距離，已經是肩碰肩。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm4Q6JPw6W
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEJSoseC5J
看了很久，她自自然然地睡著了，而我也借著自己疲累的身軀，打算順勢地睡在她身上；可是理性又告訴我，用這樣的「肢體接觸」來推進關係，太冒險了，結果我只是往攬枕裡睡著。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31Wc8pxobQ
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefxubyWFx5
-----大年初一的早上-----359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWERjiplVQ9
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wM1YZZx5B
我們的早餐，就是去飲茶。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonTNVajr8R
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQyobAFD5V
「奶黃包！」侍應有禮地送上了其中一道點心，點心上的每個白臉小包，都印上了一個黃色的笑表情，我有點以為自己在吃Lihkg的頭像。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQBBONY3cw
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiIEGTzjwd
Priscilla：你會搵男仔定女仔拍拖㗎？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9YFqVrhtM
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBscI0xXYo
這已經是不知第幾次，被人問上這種問題了。每當我被人這樣問的時候，我總是要思考一會才能回答。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LHJuRcFKp
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUygFWcLNix
我：搵女仔拍拖就梗㗎啦，但我唔知應唔應該叫自己做無性戀。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxbFaNKjIB
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3wLmmgSSP
根據「無性戀」的定義，是指一個人對任何性別的人感受不到，又或者是只感受到很微弱的性吸引力。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY6m9IbiVm
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7ADkwascc
如果直接問我的性取向，就如發問這樣的數學題：0除以0等於多少？0？1？無限？無解？無意義？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibhXlQjbRI
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzZMD40PyM
對我自己來說，最優先的性傾向就是戀物、其次才是跟女生進行性行為；而且我極少會主動去想像跟女生在床上活動的畫面。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbocLwyQC6
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJhrxyuumoH
都是那個比喻：我最喜歡吃魚，但不等於抗拒吃豬；平日如果要二選其一的話，我當然選擇吃魚；但如果有人主動請我吃豬的話，我還是會開放地接受吃豬。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXJZgRXnOF
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqLuFHmVJo
只膚淺地說我是異性戀，不準確；雖然在浪漫的情感上，我也是追求一個女生談戀愛；但在性的層面上，我的最優先傾向是戀物，女生才是其次。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40LTSPccyu
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAaHHke1Hj
說我是無性戀，也不準確；因為我也有戀物的傾向，會看黃色網頁，這已經是一種性生活。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBGMGLw3Lb
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZ5qunRlkn
我不敢直接向Priscilla說自己是戀物，怕她接受不了。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5o4lmUzYi
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJznf74XM7
Priscilla：講真，憑我嘅雷達，我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBdQ6l7m4z
Priscilla：我又唔覺得你係直，又唔覺得你係gay。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpL3iJkTiCO
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPzeObuSHw
我：你第一次扑野係幾時？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKJnTSWpCk
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bCvqGVobC
Priscilla：8年前我喺英國同過一個男仔上床。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjyk1eJkaY
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBddwODcn8A
接著，她說起自己的情史，我才了解到，她有過至少一次的上床經驗，我沒有再詳細過問她在英國時的那段經歷；但估計她和那個洋漢的關係，都是停留在FWB（friends with benefits）的關係。我有這樣的推測，是因為相信，很少人能夠接受異地戀。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7QAG9h2Na
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fDofOCu41
又以我和Yuli（Ch.19出現）的關係為例，換著是我或者是Yuli，對於在外地人物的感情處理，很多時候都是「玩過就算」的心態。如果有真正到外地留學或工作的人（又或者是趁著假期回流到香港玩）都知道，常見的例子就是，你到一個像蘭桂坊這樣的地方消遣，運氣好的話隨時能讓你遇到一個心儀的目標跟你上床；但，上床過後是否真的成為了大家常說的男女朋友？有多少人最終真的把「佢」（中文書面語的性別代詞只有「他」和「她」，太二元我不喜歡在此使用。）抱回你的家鄉？又或者「佢」令到你住在異鄉一起生活？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wZbanoKeX
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhXL9UZt6R
Priscilla真正認真的關係，是在4年前。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgNkZ8lf6n
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ3JUN7KCy
Priscilla：我上一任男朋友係4年前，嗰時係我家人介紹俾我嘅。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBXcnADD4R
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScrf1GYg3l
我：咁拍咗幾耐？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAejJkG91nX
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqe2dko5kx1
Priscilla：都9個月，之後就係因為佢對我用冷暴力，所以分手。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2zs6Hs2KD
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GU0IyGMDZ
當她剛才說到「我又真係感受唔到你身上嘅性吸引力」的時候，我在想：是否她對我沒有feel？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eu4VEm8Vd
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdI1X4L59J
可是當我聽完她的基本情史之後，她那兩段的關係相隔的時間，4年，也有點久，不禁讓我想到另一種可能：她也是不容易投入情感的人嗎？以她的條件，也經常接觸不同的人，要遇上幾百個男生絕對不是問題，要找上一個條件比我好的人，都不是問題，為甚還需要家人的介紹？而且到現在還是沒有男朋友？即使很多香港男生不喜歡大陸人，但如果要為拍拖而拍拖的話，最終也是會找上她呀。真讓人有點摸不透。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmV5Nt2DHR
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2sPJYWWzx
Priscilla：你係咪有好多女性朋友㗎？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHiGtnbp4n
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1667H7dsu
我：我冇乜女仔friend㗎。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYvtXPUkgW
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs95bwcXWUK
Priscilla：下？你咁都冇？偽娘唔係應該有好多女性朋友咩？359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbbmW1UEQI
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlKhJdzjr1
我：幼稚園至到小學初期嗰時會，但而家冇曬呢種緣份lu。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPQhFoTaUX
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtocfSV8fDI
我：講起上次拍拖，都已經係8年前，嗰個女仔係喺Facebook識。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrRCGTladg
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IbcJ1tiKt
說著，我又說起自己的情史。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3EJbqzd6K
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzzIBy22hr
8年前的那段關係，又是從網上開始，印象之中是談了兩個星期左右就出門相見。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpSVqKVyEv
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpondWOsKXu
我：嗰個女仔，又幾主動，我從未試過做主動嗰個，去拖人隻手，係佢拖我手先。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZMPhfLI1n
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobaBdcgbza
我：然後就係，「拖」「攬」「錫」做齊，只差攪野。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWerHIPoML
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQw24Gtovaa
簡單而言，大家的關係就在stage 3（錫）止步。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdHNDRQ0VI
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlnNwL9VNML
雖然很多無性戀者對性行為（所謂的Stage 4和5）沒有興趣，但是很多都還是喜歡被牽手（拖）、擁抱（攬）、親吻（錫），享受純愛的感覺。 359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmjK7kf3UE
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcdGGHhQhS
就連我自己的愛情觀裡，也是相信只有「純愛」，只進行 「拖」「攬」「錫」就夠，再上兩級就不了。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WZ3My2o7r
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡea4wTxL1Qh
這也是我一直以來仍是「處」的主因。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiG3LQnssNY
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfUvEeg5x8
我：最後拍左一個月就散。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTypYIe3F2k
我：就係因為頂唔順佢太過霸道，脾氣又差，所以先分手。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FXX6otlaK
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwokQdZviga
那個時候的我，「偽娘」這個靈魂仍然是深深地封印在自己的心裡，連我自己也幾乎沒有察覺，我可是完全以社會講的男性型象來生活。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAwd111HpS
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGT1VQ2JKek
老實說，即使是現在，我也很討厭女生霸道，這樣我駕馭不了。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTfXk6HD4G
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXuISICyVa
Priscilla：我聽講港女係咁㗎。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDlyFK73x3
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡya4Efp6dPF
我：係，但你又唔好以偏概全，都唔係一定嘅。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlRmK2O73g
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKZEl39oAu
這頓早茶，以AA制完。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBC3e4MsiR
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYQIoj4mc7
我送著Priscilla回家，在路上，「肢體接觸」這四個字像一個鋼造的框架，牢牢地鎖在自己的腦海裡，又是那做為做而做的接觸。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllLbGcht69
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1J0hx7Rzm
在過馬路時，我眼睛又是瞄著她的手臀，想了一想，好不容易才敢伸手撓下去。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2uL0tVwAbJ
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZrbBJoR23
我：下次再玩啦！359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRERY5bT4l
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuQBgO0Ue7
Priscilla：來一個抱抱吧！359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9MtuWfGct
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKDDHQGv6Z
在Priscilla家的大廳裡，我和她來了一個擁抱道別。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6mVAvMTec
359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeTUUsBLEI
這個擁抱，只能算是一般社交式的擁抱；因為我很清楚地感受到，她只是來了一秒，然後就抽身離開，彷彿不再讓我擁抱多幾秒。359Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XCcHxLjzb
Penana
search
Loginarrow_drop_down
Registerarrow_drop_down
