It turns out Lucy uploaded a picture of me and her in her bed on social media. I was asleep at the time, but it explains why everyone hates me even more. I'm not sure how to feel about the things Lucy is doing at this point. It seems that she believes what she's doing is right, but it's hurting other people. So it's not just the anger I feel for her. Other emotions are swirling inside me for her as well.
Lucy and I found her car vandalized with written vulgarities and poorly drawn appendages on it. They didn't write on the windows so Lucy doesn't mind. She says it makes the car look like a hardcore adult film star. I audibly say the Lord's name in vain and she snorts. We then get in her car and she doesn't drive in the direction of her home.
A lot of Lucy's music seems to be related to the Devil or something that fits that theme. The first song that was played, 'Ice Melts' by Megosh, is a song with a man and his guitar, and it's like it was sung from Lucy's perspective.
"Just cause I'm like you
Doesn't make it right
The Devil takes his time
Like it or not we're the same
We belong together in the flames
I'll wait for you till
I see you in Hell..."
The next song, Villain by K/DA, is a dark pop song that sounds like it was sung from the perspective of a succubus. The song opens up with a woman's deep voice singing about her vanity and pride.
"On the low
Only love myself no more
Take you to the grave I'll ghost
I know I can be so cold...
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In the dark
Where I like to keep my heart
Know I'm all bite, no bark
Like to catch you way off guard...
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I'll stay so deep inside your brain
And take you somewhere far away..."
Then it goes into the chorus, a fast-based bass line followed by two women's voices.
"Time to roll the dice, you know I'm the type
Type to risk my life, not afraid to die
Type to make you cry, type to put a price
All up on your head, do just what I said..."
After that, it goes into the post-chorus and Jesus Christ; the music shifts and it sounds like what I imagine neurons in my head firing off would sound like if they were a beat.
"I'm alive, but I'm dead
Hear my voice up in your head
Watch it fill you full of dread
Till you go Pow
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Is it really a surprise if I'm playing with your mind
And I treat you like a prize, then I throw you to the side?
And am I really that bad if I love to make you mad?
And get happy when you're sad, only care about a bag...
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In control
That's how I like it and I'm never letting go, nah
Never had a soul (soul)
So you ain't taking nothing from me when you go, nah..."
It makes me wonder if she actually identifies with this stuff, or if it's all just a facade to make me afraid of her.
I think back on the baptism. She said she felt better afterward. Did God not help her like I thought he would? I look in the back seat and see Jesus sitting behind Lucy. No, it's clear God hasn't given up on Lucy yet. After what she asked me at the fireplace and the chance of me being in her life like this, there's still a chance for Lucy. She did murder someone, but if she comes clean now, there's a chance she won't spend her life in prison. But how can I convince her of such a thing? Is there a Lucy inside of there that believes what she's doing is wrong?
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Lucy parks her car at the edge of a hill that peers into a valley. It's an amazing view; a setting orange and red sunset fills the car and the valley. Lucy then turns the music down and this is my chance. But what do I say? How do I broach this subject?
"I'm not actually gonna hurt him," Lucy starts, staring at the sunset, "Delilah's brother I mean. Clyde wouldn't hurt a fly. He's just all bark."
"But you still killed Matthew."
"That's because he hurt you."
"They've all hurt me. That doesn't mean they deserve to die."
"Matthew didn't give an ounce of a shit about you. Why do you care about him at all?"
"Because he's a piece of God, Lucy! We all are."
"Well maybe some pieces of God are meant to burn!"
"That's not up for you to decide."
"I'm the Devil! I punish evil, that's kind of my job."
"No—Lucy—you're not the Devil—"
"Oh my God Judy you're so blind! Don't you see what's right in front of you?"
"What—"
"You're God, Judas! Why do you think Jesus follows you around?"
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Think about it. Your mom didn't want you to know you were God so she named you after the betrayer and treated you the way she did. You see—"
"No—okay—Lucy—I'm not God. That's blasphemy. And if you're the Devil that means you're my daughter which makes this weird—"
"I'm not you're daughter! That's just Christian propaganda. In other religions, I'm a goddess, an equal, like the one you see before you."
"But God and the Devil are opposites."
"And opposites are destined to be together. Like Yin and Yang. One way or another. Our purposes are intertwined."
I don't know what to say so I just watch the sunset.
"But I know you love Delilah," she says, "And I don't want to take that away from you. What you guys have—well—I envy it."
Then I see my chance.
"You can still have that with someone," I say. Lucy moves her attention from the sunset and her crimson eyes glisten in the light, "If you come clean about what you did now, you probably won't get life in prison. Women tend not to get sentenced equally compared to males for the same crimes. You're still a minor. It's not too late to fix this."
Her eyes move to the side and then back to me.
"Think I'd look good in orange?" She asks. I snort.
"Maybe red."
"Ohhh. Like a crimson."
The sun starts setting behind the mountains and darkness descends on us.
"What if the Devil was an identity?" Lucy asks, "Something that could possess you if the timing was right. If it was just a perfect host."
"I'd say that sounds crazy, but I assume you have something to say about it."
"It says in the bible that Jesus dipped a piece of bread in wine and then said, 'Whoever I give this bread to will betray me.' He then gave it to Judas and the bible says 'Then the Devil entered Judas.' And that's when he betrayed him."
"That's—well an interesting theory. But that would mean that we aren't entirely responsible for what we do. That there's sometimes other forces at play."
"Exactly! Because there are some things I just can't control, Judy. Things I'm powerless to. And I can prove that you're the same way too."
She reaches into the back seat and grabs her backpack. She puts it on her lap, unzips it, and pulls out a black revolver. My blood goes steel cold as she starts to unload the bullets leaving only one in the chamber. She had that in her backpack the entire time at school? How long has Lucy been armed around the students of Hawkins?
She then spins the barrel a dozen or so times and stops it abruptly, holding the gun up to her head.
"Lucy—" I start.
"When I fell from Heaven, it was like I was rising as well. I just didn't know it yet. Still, some will always see me as a monster."
She pulls the trigger, a click goes off, and I jump.
"Lucy—give me the gun," I ask her.
"But not you Judas. I killed a man for you and pinned a bomb threat on you yet you want to prevent my death? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
Another trigger pull, another click, two of four, I'm losing chances, I have to do something.
I don't know what to say so I just say the truth, "Lucy, God loves you. He doesn't want you to die. Don't do this. I need you, Lucy. Please don't do this."
A tear goes down her face.
"When I was baptized, I felt nothing," she admits, "Does that mean I'm too far gone?"
"No, Lucy. It's never too late. That's just a hot tub and some water. It's just a symbol."
She pulls the trigger, her eyes widen and she jumps back against the door, that's half now.
"Don't say that!" she screams.
"I didn't say anything," I say. I look over to Jesus in the back seat and he's staring at someone to his right. I look to see whoever's there but all I see is a dark corner.
"Stop, stop, stop, stop it," Lucy murmurs, holding the shaking gun to her head, her eyes trained on the dark corner of the car.
"Don't listen to her, Lucy," I say to her, "Remember who you are."
"She's so loud," she says.
"I know, but you're stronger. God's here. Remember your real name."
"My real name?"
"Yes, remember what you told me."
"My name—my name is Angel."
Something shifts in her and she looks around the car. She starts to lower the gun and I waste no time taking it out of her hand.
"I'm sorry," she says.
"What the fuck were you thinking?" I ask, checking the cylinder to see that the next bullet would've ended her life.216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AyvaZrO2F
"Why'd you stop me? All of this would've been over if you'd just let me keep pulling the trigger."
An image of Jenny leaning back in her recliner pointing the gun to her head flashes in my head. Then the woman in the chair changes to Lucy and back to Jenny. Back and forth between the two like an old film tape where one frame is Jenny and the other is Lucy.
"It wouldn't have been over," I say, "Not for us. I don't want you to die, Angel. What you have done has not undone what God can do through you. You don't have to be on the wrong side of history. Don't wait too long to be right. It's not too late."
She looks at her hands, "If I'm not the Devil, then what am I?" she asks. I take her hands and her eyes meet mine.
"You're Angel," I say, "And you'll fly beyond this cosmos of stars and show the world that you are more than just a Devil. You have a purpose as much as anyone else does. And that purpose can be as meaningful and worth it as you can imagine it. But that doesn't mean you can escape the consequences of your actions."
Angel closes her eyes and then opens them, a tear falling from her left eye. Her phone rings and she answers it.
"Clyde? Yeah. Forget it. I'll grant you that favor. See you soon," she hangs up the phone, "Looks like we're going to Denver."
"You okay to drive?"
"You kidding? I love driving in this mood. Just need to crank the music and—"
She cranks the nob of the volume while a band slashes at their electric guitars and pounds on their drums with their fury. Angel then puts the car in reverse and does a burn-out of the area. What sounds like a man but is a deep-voiced woman screams vocals about being a wicked person and starts to sing from her speakers:
"Don't know where I'm going
Everybody's running, everybody's running
Come back after all is broken
Everything is burning, no one is returning
Step back, step back, everybody step back, step back
It's time to pick up the slack, the slack, you oughta know
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Save me from this wicked person I've become
As the world comes crashing..."
The entire time Angel is mouthing the lyrics as we drive way over the speed limit. Should I still be calling her Angel? Or is she still Lucy?216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mOVXkHxE0
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