I tried to ignore what Marissa said, but I was just curious about why he lied to me and what he planned to accomplish by lying to me. Why did he park his car there? He omitted from me that he had his car there. Why? Was he with somebody else? Did he decide he would stay somewhere else after Kyle and I were flaunting our relationship in front of him? What was his reason? I was so excited to be friends with Marissa again that I avoided those nine words that could uncover a secret I probably didn't even want to know. It might have been something simple like he needed to go somewhere and didn't trust people in his car. It could not be straightforward, but it wasn't any of my business. I tried telling myself this over and over. "Kylie, it's absolutely none of your business." "You were with Kyle, remember?" "If he were with someone else, and leaving his car somewhere safe, it is still none of your business!" I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I was almost obsessed.
The weather was so beautiful the next few days. The skies were a brilliant blue, like a pretty blue, not the raincloud dark blue. I enjoyed my days and decided I wanted to be friends with Lee. I did love him, and eventually, I would probably end up dating him, as we had only ever been friends. I am taking my time this time around as it's only been a couple of weeks since Kyle and I were together, and his accident that took his life.
I want to give everybody, including myself, some time to mourn the relationship before moving into a new one. I went back to school today. I was confident in myself and that I would be fine. I was happy that my life was going well and everything was fitting into place. I didn't need a man in my life to be satisfied. Once again, I just needed to be me, just like all the other times so far. I needed to be secure and confident in myself and my decisions.
I didn't have to worry about Neisha or Leah threatening me anymore, as we were all friends. I didn't have to worry about all the kids at school who hated me because they never did. This made my days easier. It also helped me get through my days a lot more rapidly to reach the time when healing happens.
I was only worried about my father's conviction and my mother's disappearance. What happened when my father was convicted, and my mother disappeared? Were they connected? Are they completely separate?
My father was completely moved into the house that my mother and I originally lived in together. I was happy to have a parent in the house and have someone there to lean on. I never realized how much I missed my mom. I didn't know if she was ever coming back. It was good not to be alone anymore in the house.
One day, we got around to talking about what he was convicted of. I don't remember how the conversation started, but I know how it ends.
"One day your mother and I were out getting groceries. We never had a lot of money but we had enough to exist. I guess that is why your mother always makes sure now to have many different ways to earn money. We were at the grocery store and your mother was pregnant with you. She wanted a steak. She had a taste for steak. We didn't have enough money in our budget to buy steak. I felt so bad. I just didn't make enough money and she couldn't work because she had a lot of problems when carrying you in utero. I grabbed a steak and put it under my shirt and tucked it into my pants. Nobody saw. Not even your mother. At least I didn't think they did.
We didn't look like we had any money either. We didn't wear ragged clothes but you could tell we weren't high class people. Your mother would always find ways to make old sheets fit windows or make clothes out of old clothes, or even take old clothes and patch them together to make a new blanket for our bed. She found it like a puzzle of how to make something out of what was left. I loved that about your mother. She never complained about it either. She just went along. I loved her so much, and she loved me.
We got to the checkout lane and paid for the items in our basket. We headed towards the door to catch the bus at the bus stop. The manager chased us. He said "Sir, you have to pay for that or come with me!" I just kept walking. I ignored him and pretended not to hear.
Your mother looked at me and asked, "what is he babbling about?"
I looked down at my pants and shirt and gave a sigh. "I wanted to get you steak, you deserve it. You are my love. You are carrying my child. I love you so much!"
Your mother looked at me and just frowned. She said "I know you love me. But I don't believe in any type of theft. I may be poor, but I am no thief. I can't believe you did that. What you do defines you!"
The manager just let us go, or so I thought. He didn't chase us any further. I thought he was just disgusted and didn't want to waste his time or energy over a steak.
As we were waiting at the bus stop, a policeman pulled up to where we were sitting, and put his lights on.
He walked over very slowly, and he looked at me. He hand blonde hair and he was wearing a police vest. He was a little loud when he said"Sir, I need you to step over here." he said. I knew that something was wrong.
This was the first time I had ever done anything wrong. As I opened and closed my car door I stood up with my hands up. I said to him "what is this all about?"
He said "the manager of the store called the police department. He has you on video stealing from the meat department. It is enforceable by law. Even petty crimes. There is a 500.00 fine for theft. I am going to have to give you a fine and a citation to appear in court." He claimed, and I thought I had gotten away with it; in that moment I felt my gut hurt.
He took my driver's license and wrote down my information and handed me a copy of the citation. He then noticed your mother. She was so beautiful. Even more beautiful when she was pregnant with you. I can still see her disappointment in her eyes as he was giving me the citation. He handed me the citation and looked at your mother and smiled
The officer then said "did you get it for her?" while nodding his head toward your mother.
And I replied "she said she had a taste for a steak and I could not afford it. I wanted to get her whatever she wanted, she means the world and everything to me. I knew that it was wrong, and I had never done anything bad before."
He said "well, since this is your first run-in with the law, I am going to do you a little favor. I am going to tear this citation up and go inside and pay for that steak. I will take care of the mess you created with the manager and you can be on your way. Don't ever do this again. " He finished sternly.
I responded, "I am so sorry I let my emotions get ahold of me and cause me to do something very wrong." I felt so guilty inside, and ever since then I never stole again.
He left. I thought everything was good.
On the way home, your mother was very quiet. She was staring out the window avoiding eye contact with me. Normally, she was holding my hand and smiling at me. So I knew when she was quiet that it wasn't a good thing. We reached our little place with the handmade curtains, and the patchwork blanket your mother made laying across the chair. I thought of how blessed I was.
Your mother said to me, "Get out!" I don't like thieves. I ran to her. I loved her. I didn't want to leave. I was holding her, trying to hug her. Your mother was hitting me out of frustration. She had her morals and beliefs and would not stray from those. She continued, "if we had received a citation for your stupidity, how long would it have taken to pay it? What if you were sent to jail? What would happen to me and your baby?" She was still hitting me and I was blocking her hits. One time I was blocking I stretched my arm out and literally accidentally hit her. She called the police. That is why I am a convict now, I got charged for battery.
They don't take well in the State to domestic abuse. I didn't press charges against her. I left that night in a police car and never came back. I figured maybe she was better off without me. I knew that I should have came back, but I do not think she would have accepted me.
"Kylie, I should have gone back. It will be in my heart forever. I have never stopped loving your mother. She was the best and only thing that ever happened in my life."
"I am here now. I wish she were here too. I tried explaining it to her in the hospital, but she wouldn't listen, and now I wonder if I will ever be able to explain. I still love her dearly. If I could go back in time and redo it all, I would. Then, maybe you and your mom wouldn't have had to struggle so much"
That did sound like my mom. She was very strict in what she believed in. She did have high morals and it did make sense. I just wish she were here to tell me if he was telling the truth. I did believe him, but so many people have lied to me, it's hard to know where to draw the line between truth and being a fool.
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