ep 12 thoughts - Katsuriko
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Between this and Honoka trying to make Yuta fat again, I haven’t been able to stop laughing.
I think there was a lot of good in the episode and also a lot of missed potential, but I’ll focus on the stuff I loved first and then make another post for the rest!
So first things first: Katsuriko!
This episode was surprisingly very tame for Okada’s standards. I’m used to there being crying and screaming all around, but she handled Noriko’s and Katsuhira’s emotions very realistically. After being used to not feeling anything for so long, it will take Noriko sometime before she is able to express herself more naturally.
That said: when Okada has an OTP, boy does she deliver!!
- I am so glad we got an explanation as to why Noriko absorbed every one’s wounds, and that it was because of her loneliness and her craving for bonds, after all!! Bless them for actually confirming it because I’d have kept wondering about this otherwise.
- Noriko is pretty tragic. I mean, I think we all knew she would be a tragic character. But it’s kind of worse than I originally thought. All this time, she’s been enduring the pain and devoting herself to the Kiznaiver System. And as far as she was aware, she was doing it not only because she believed it would allow everyone to connect to each other and bring about true understanding (aka, to bring about the joy she once knew), but also because she thought that if the system was further developed, then she may be able to bring Asuka and the others back to normal. So as far as Noriko was aware, it was all for the greater good.
- Except she was unintentionally the cause of their situation in the first place. The very root of the problem.
- Why oh why did Urushii never tell this to her? Was it out of fear of hurting her? Or was Urushii completely caught up in a way of thinking similar to Yaamada’s? Sure thing Noriko would have probably dismissed it as being wrong (just like she dismissed Katsuhira's last episode), but I still think that Urushii and Yaamada turning a blind eye to it when they were aware of the reason all along was very counterproductive.
- Back to Noriko though! I’m sure that when she was a child, Noriko unconsciously feared that once the Kiznaiver System ended, everyone would go home and she would be left all by herself once again. So this fear, along with how much she treasured everyone and how instrumental she thought the pain was to their connection, made it so she wound up absorbing them and unconsciously clinging to them: all of it in an unconscious effort to stay connected to them.
- And ironically: it was precisely this that made Asuka and the others unreachable. The whole thing is seriously tragic.
- So Katsuhira didn’t feel Noriko because of their Kizna. He thinks so much about her and knows her so well that he can predict her. This is even better! lol Even more so because we got yet another juxtaposition between Katsuriko and the rest, but I’ll get to that in another post!
- Though then again the entire episode was an ode to how Katsuhira’s and Noriko’s bond with each other goes well beyond the Kiznaiver System. Even this:
- Fits ridiculously well with how Katsuhira’s Kizna mark remained connected to Noriko’s for 12 years even though the system is only powerful enough to keep people connected for one summer. Katsuhira longed to connect to her, and this surpassed the limits of the Kizna System.
- Now, this right here was at the core of Noriko’s frustration with Katsuhira's last episode. By saying that Noriko wanted Katsuhira to save her, Noriko didn’t only feel her “true self” was misunderstood, but also her goal. She thought Katsuhira would support it, but he obviously didn’t and instead thought she ought to be saved. So to her, it was like he was also rejecting their happiness from back then.
I think Katsuhira telling her that she exists within him and he is connected to her, not because of the system, but because he loves her, would be huge for Noriko (and for Katsuhira, too.) [x]
- I. GOT. MY. SCENE. Literally, my number one hope for the episode, and damn did they deliver!!
- The way Noriko closes her eyes when she says Katsuhira’s feelings for her must surely be because of the system, too!!
- The way Noriko literally thinks everything must have been because of the Kiznaiver System explains so much about the expressions she made whenever Katsuhira asked her if she wanted to connect to everyone. Even when she exchanged phone numbers with him, she must have thought that was pointless because it was unrelated to the system. And yet she did it, and she tagged along with him to the camp, because her heart was seeking other ways to connect with him.
- THIS WAS EVERYTHING. I can’t believe we actually got the fact that Katsuhira loves Noriko as she was and as she is completely spelled out by Katsuhira himself. It was so, so beautiful: Katsuhira liked Noriko then because of her virtues, and he came to love her again now despite her flaws. Whether Noriko is Genki or calm and mature; Katsuhira loves her anyway (I immediately thought of this wonderful anon message I got, once. Anon, you were so spot on!!).
- And what’s more: he is sure the others would, too.
- And this is the very moment that Noriko’s selfishness comes through, and the opening Katsuhira needed. Up until this moment, Noriko was preaching about the Kiznaiver System being necessary to connect to others. But Katsuhira and the others did get to her, what Katsuhira tells her shakes the foundation of her hypothesis. And so Noriko’s heart finally starts shining through: she wants to understand others and she thinks the Kiznaiver System is the only way for her to attain it. She is judging everyone else based on her own circumstances.
- It’s here that Noriko’s heart starts to wake up, so to speak. Because even if Noriko may not consciously be able to wrap her mind around the fact that all along, she’s just been trying to hold onto their old selves - onto their bonds to each other - out of fear of loneliness, her heart feels it.
- And Hisomu said so last episode: your feelings can hurt when you think about them. And here Noriko is aching to understand.
- And that’s why her Kizna mark activates and Katsuhira asking her to give her back his pain undoes her.
- SO BEAUTIFUL. Once again it’s all about the effort, which is beautifully illustrated by Katsuhira struggling to walk up that bridge and reach Noriko.
Also, this sounded way too much like a marriage proposal lol
- Katsuhira wants to struggle together with Noriko because he loves her and that makes it worth it. He wants his pain back because he wants to do it properly: to feel it all, to suffer through it all properly. Together with her. Because it’s worth it.
- And his words don’t only convey that: they also reassure her that he’s never going to leave her alone. And Noriko gets this. Noriko understands.
- How beautiful was the way Katsuhira’s words make the cage Noriko had locked herself in a crumble?
- AND THIS. TALKING ABOUT UNDERSTANDING YOURSELF AND OTHERS:
- Katsuhira’s come such a long way from the first episode, oh my god. Back then he couldn’t understand himself, but he does know: He knows he loves Noriko. And because he understands himself, and because he loves her (she exists within him), Katsuhira can understand her, too: know that she wanted him to save her, and that she loves him back and loves all their friends.
- And of course, he tells her this as he stands before the stained glass picturing the two people holding hands. OF COURSE, HE DOES.
- LOOK AT HIM.
- Noriko’s the one that ends up pulling Katsuhira out of the water!! lol, Katsuhira saves Noriko’s heart, and Noriko saves Katsuhira’s life.
- Noriko starts sharing her feelings with Katsuhira the very moment they are out of danger (”Yes, it feels good to me, too.”) She really took his words to heart;_;
- You could literally tell that he was thinking that Noriko was cute in this scene. AND HE WAS. HE IS SO EASY TO READ he has literally worn his feelings for Noriko on his sleeve through the entire show and I love it so much!!
- It feels so good to see them blush!! Katsuhira is done for though, he’s not going to be able to hide any embarrassing thought from Noriko ever lol, In fact, he better prepare himself to be teased and for Noriko to take advantage of it because cheeky Noriko is here to stay. Which brings me to one of my favorite bits of the entire episode:
- THIS IS SO COMPLETELY NORIKO. I’ve been saying that Noriko kept getting in Katsuhira’s face and touching him during the first episodes not only to spark his memory but also because she craved his proximity. And this pretty much confirms it!! lol
- THEY ARE ACTUALLY DATING. HOT DAMN. Though then again Katsuhira basically proposed to her already hahaha
- And the knowing way Yuta and Tenga look at them from the doorway, everyone’s relationship is going to be so much fun from now on!!
- Also!! Remember when Katsuhira tells Noriko that the “like” he feels for her know it’s different? He goes from “suki” to “daisuki”, aka from “I like you” to “I love you”.
Extra:
- Noriko randomly sitting by the old man, Katsuhira getting out of the car and running while standing in place, Katsuhira putting on the safety belt when he gets into the car, Katsuhira twirling his hair in the middle of a serious question - hell, there were way too many things to count. These two and how unintentionally funny they are is one of the things that makes me be so fond of them, so I really enjoyed those tiny details. They are way too endearing;_;
- Sobs confirmation of how much Noriko impacted Katsuhira and how pivotal his feelings for her were to his development!!
- The scene where Katsuhira’s trying to find the right words to explain his connection to Noriko was so good. We know Katsuhira was able to find her on that bridge because of how strongly he thought about her and how well he knows her, so he tries to compare his situation to Yuta and the others finding them as well to see if it was due to friendship. And turns out that it wasn’t.
- So Katsuhira was right: “that’s not quite it”. It was because of love.
- Plus, Honoka’s fantastic speech:
- It’s like putting Katsuhira’s and Noriko’s thought process through the series into words. We saw Katsuhira continuously wondering about Noriko and not being able to get her off his mind; we saw Noriko start to do the same thing and even try to initially keep her distance after he told her he was disappointed in her.
