kiznaiver ep 11 thoughts
I am in love with all the parallels and imagery in this episode and how much the direction tells us about what’s going to go down next week.
I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to talk about anything else;-; But I’ll try!
Lots of talking about the parallels between Katsuhira and Noriko, Honoka/Yuta/Tenga, symbolism, and also some thoughts about Nico, Chidori, and Yaamada.
Katsuhira’s and Noriko’s Parallels
First things first: Katsuhira’s development is stunning. I couldn’t be prouder if I tried.
We have gone from this:
“I don’t know about myself. Before another person’s pain or sharing their thoughts, I don’t even understand my own pain or thoughts.”
To this:
Katsuhira who thinks about himself.
Katsuhira who is able to understand others.
Because he is finally able to understand more about himself.
Katsuhira, who literally prefaces everything he says with “I think...” “Ano…” “Etto…” doesn’t hesitate one instant to reassert himself when Noriko denies he has understood her. He is confident he has understood her thoughts and feelings!
But what’s even better is the way they juxtapose Katsuhira’s thought processes to Noriko’s, his answers to hers, his methods to hers. Literally 90% of what Katsuhira says and of what he is told this episode applies to Noriko as well, but they reach the opposite conclusions and I love it!
First, when Hisomu tells him this:
It’s such a key thing to say. Emotions are born in our brains; they are thoughts that produce chemical reactions. So when Katsuhira remembers and truly thinks about a situation—a ‘wound’—it does arise feelings within him.
But more than that, I feel this may very well be why Noriko was able to feel even despite her injections. She wanted to. She was thinking of the past and of her feelings towards Katsuhira and their friends, so the “wound” started to ache again. Not to mention that for Noriko, it has never even healed. But I’ll get back to that later because it’s one of my favorite things about all the juxtapositions!!
This scene was everything. Noriko herself told us in Episode 8 that she thinks she may find herself within Katsuhira. So what this means is that despite what Noriko tells him now, Katsuhira does remember the true Noriko, the true self that even Noriko can’t quite touch just yet.
And remember how in the first episode Noriko chases Katsuhira out of the dark and into the light before pushing him down the stairs?
This time she leaves him in the dark, doubting himself despite his utter certitude that he did get her feels right. She leaves him thinking that he may be reading her heart wrong (“Imbecile” - his sin, born from his lack of understanding of himself and others).
And that scene is followed by this, out of all things:
I LOVE THIS SHOW. This doesn’t only apply to Katsuhira—whose heart is certain he has understood Noriko, yet his mind can’t help but to allow room for some doubt after she shoots him down. It also applies to Noriko herself, because she is misunderstanding her own desires—deep down, she does want Katsuhira to help her. Them.
And then of course comes THIS.
Katsuhira is essentially thinking of the same things Noriko herself did when she was a child (hard, difficult situations become less straining because they are shared). He is literally voicing Noriko’s own feelings. But while Noriko thinks the act of sharing pain (kizna) is what made bonding possible:
(Imo she is meant to say “kizna” aka ‘wounds’ here rather than “Kizuna” - ‘bonds’)
Katsuhira knows better!!
It’s all about trust and caring for others. And you don’t need the Kiznaiver system for that, as Nico and the others proved in this episode.
And this brings me back to something I mentioned before:
Speaking about that, one thing I’ve been musing about is that Katsuhira’s and Noriko’s connection may go well beyond the Kiznaiver System. Maybe that’s one of the things Noriko has to learn. That you don’t need the Kiznaiver System to form a “True Connection” with someone lol
And Urushii literally hints that’s exactly what needs to happen!!
Noriko needs to be shown that you can connect with others without the Kiznaiver System, and that’s where Katsuhira and his bond with the other Kiznaivers come into play. Plus, that’s also where Katsuhira’s own connection with Noriko comes into play because we just got another reminder that the Kiznaiver System can’t connect people for more than one summer!! And yet Katsuhira’s mark still activates after 12 years!!!
I feel the lesson in all this is that the Kiznaiver System doesn’t power connections; the connections power the system.
And we have seen it over and over again, haven’t we?
- They were able to feel Chidori’s pain because they already cared about her by then.
- They were able to feel Honoka’s longing for Ruru because they cared and did their best to make her happy. Not because the system hurt them by proxy, but because seeing her sad hurt them.
- They were able to hear the voice in Chidori’s heart—again—because they cared.
So I feel that while Noriko may be convinced that she and Katsuhira’s marks are still active because of the system, their marks must be powered by their bond. Not the other way around.
And there’s this beauty too, to fully drive that home:
They connected through their hands, just like Nico stated the last episode. Their bond with each other was born before the system was even in place. I feel connecting through your own hands represents the effort you do to connect with others; and it’s this effort that allows your hearts to connect in the first place.
That may very well be what the stained glass and the green light symbolize. Hell, that is probably the reason why Katsuhira is painless. It’s so the show could make that point: it doesn’t pain that bonds you to people. It’s the effort, the baring of hearts, the trust, and the care.
The next episode has the potential to be so damn good. Hopefully, they won’t mess it up!
Also, nearly forgot but!! Katsuhira passes out for the same reasons Noriko does. Like they literally give us such a clear view of Noriko’s circumstances through Katsuhira’s own, it’s great.
Lastly!! Another thing I feel should play a role next episode is the fact that Noriko has been living in and for her past. The result of that is that she has nothing to tie her to the present and lead her to the future.
Meanwhile, Katsuhira had been living without a past. And not knowing his past made him unable to actually know and understand himself. The result was that he was living solely in the present, without aiming for any future in particular.
Now though, Katsuhira can step in and become the link Noriko needs to ground herself in the present and move on from the past, find closure and resolution. So I’m really hoping we’ll see a repeat of this scene:
But with the current gang!
More parallels and symbolism I loved:
- The parallels between Honoka, Yuta, and Tenga! Plus how in sync they are!
Honoka: What kind of face did I make when I laughed?
- Yuta is hanging out with his superficial bonds, the ones he puts on facades around. In contrast, he could be himself with the others; he was utterly and unapologetically himself, dumb running way and all.
- Honoka was able to laugh once again as she did in her time with Ruru—back when she formed her first ‘precious’ bond and found someone she could be happy with.
- And Tenga continues Yuta’s train of thought: he can barely remember how it felt like to be happy and himself. And those feelings were possible because of their friendship with each other.
- Because that’s what it’s like to find yourself in other people. You trust them enough to be yourself around them, to open up your heart to them. They bring out who you truly are and remind you of it, so by being with them, you are able to remember yourself. They are like home.
- That redux of the Katsuriko scene from Episode 1 was just glorious! I love how back then Katsuhira stops twirling his hair because he is stunned by the realization (“You get bullied because you don’t get scared.”), while in this episode it’s because he is absolutely certain of what he is telling her.
- Speaking about that, there was yet another contrast between Katsuhira/Chidori and Katsuhira/Noriko this episode: Katsuhira wonders if he got Chidori right (”But maybe I was still wrong”), while he insists he’s got Noriko down to a tee because “she exists within him”.
- Lol at the teacher being the one to mishear ‘Gudon’ as ‘Udon’ this time! And it fits perfectly because Katsuhira was ‘Gudon’ because his feelings towards himself and others were dulled and this lead to him being unable to understand himself and others. But not anymore.
- Noriko introduces herself to everyone the same way she asks the gang to introduce themselves in Episode 2!! lol, She really hasn’t remembered what opening up your heart to someone is truly like just yet.
- The lights!! Lights continue to be a recurring theme in the show, but the directing in this episode knocked it out of the park.
- First, we have Katsuhira talking to Chidori and there are only a few lights on from the building across the street. But when he is about to voice his realization, literally the entire building lights up.
- Actually, the entire voice-mail scene was fantastic. Like you would think they are happening at the same time if it weren’t precisely because of the lights. Katsuhira enters his apartment at the exact same time Chidori comes inside her own room and turns on the lights, so when he goes inside after wrapping up his voice mail, it gives the impression that Chidori is turning on the lights right before she comes to her own realization. So, so good!!
- Plus, how even the TV plays along. “Thinking time starts!! If you have found an answer, press the button—” and Katsuhira literally gets up right at that very moment to go call Chidori!
- The train scene at the start was also great. Katsuhira rode that train last week looking for answers in outside sources—trying to get something back. And now Katsuhira rides it out looking for answers again—but within himself, in order to find something to give.
- Katsuhira spends the entire night thinking. He doesn’t get any sleep, my heart.
- The stained glass is back AND lit up again! Plus, the stoplight is now green—but blinking, it’s unstable. Aka, they have all started to advance again, but it’ll take one more push before everyone is able to see eye to eye and truly bond. Plus, we know now what its design was based on that first handshake between Noriko and Katsuhira. The hands and their position are identical!
- The bullies are actually trying to earn their own living now!!
- The ray of light shows up in Katsuhira’s eyes again! The first time it did was in Episode 1 when Noriko told him “Everyone wants to connect to someone”. And now it does again!
- We also get a shot of Noriko’s eyes (the one where she calls Katsuhira Imbecile) that is identical to one from the first episode.
Everyone else (Mainly Nico, Chidori, Yaamada):
- I repeat myself every week but here it goes again: Nico is a miracle of the universe. She is always the one to point out all the important realizations: first, that “Honoka’s feelings are her own.” Then, that what truly matters is their friendship with each other rather than their heartbreak over unrequited feelings. Then, that you can connect with “your hands”—aka, directly, and with your own effort. Which leads directly to this:
- Bless her wisdom and her openness, because it has inspired and helped basically every single one of them in different measures.
- Also, her text messages are just beautiful. My favorite is when she says that Katsuhira has a lot to say and asks them to wait until he finds the words. How sensible was that??
- Nico cheering Katsuhira up when he goes to talk to Noriko and looking hurt when she sees his face upon his return. Sobs I love her!
- I’ve been waiting since Episode 5!! She finally realized it!! This means I was giving her too much credit last episode and her scene with Tenga was about being unable to relate to him because he was approaching rejection in the opposite way from her. But I’m not even mad because it’s finally happened!! And it’s great that both Katsuhira and Tenga contributed to it.
- Now though, I find her thinking process in this scene very interesting. It’s like rather than actually focusing on the gratitude and appreciation Katsuhira is expressing (and thus, in his huge character development), Chidori initially focused on the fact that it wasn’t what she wanted to hear. What she wanted was for Katsuhira to return her feelings. So she takes it as a rejection. But by remembering Tenga’s words and her reaction to them, Chidori realizes that Katsuhira was putting a lot of thought into what he told her. And he was thinking of both, herself and him (trying to understand and be understood, because he cares about her). So she contrasts this with herself and finally reaches her realization. Bless!
- This bears repeating: I love how Katsuhira checks his answers with everyone. He isn’t only trying to understand others, he is also trying to be understood in turn.
- Katsuhira going into thinking mode the moment Hisomu brings that up. Hisomu playing ambient music. Literally one of the sweetest scenes in the episode! And how proud Hisomu looks when Katsuhira comes back to the classroom!
- Yaamada! I think his scenes were some of my favorites in this episode. His intentions are noble, but sometimes protecting someone means stopping them from getting what they want. And Katsuhira alludes to the same thing in the Episode 12 preview. I’m really looking forward to seeing Yaamada realize this and team up with everyone to try and do what’s actually best for Noriko.
- After all the parallels, Katsuhira and Honoka finally have meaningful interaction, and boy was it great! ‘I want to really feel pain, for my friends too’ he tells Honoka, who always backs away from others to protect herself from hurting. Katsuhira is giving the step Honoka herself hasn’t dared to give, and he is asking her to do the same. Ugh, I love it so much.
- Despite everything though, my favorite scene this episode has to be Asuka calling Noriko’s name. I literally gasped. I don’t know-how in the world I’ve become this invested in 5 kids we have hardly seen, but I am 100% gone.
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Questions
- Green! An entirely new color for how pain feels like for Noriko.
- So what did Noriko see? Is she talking about the scene with the children running past her and waiting for her? Or is he talking about something else? Because if it’s the former, then I still think we haven’t seen the end of that scene. But even if it’s something else, it’s most likely related to bonds.
- Thank God! But what does it take?? Is this what Noriko is aiming for, or is it something else entirely?
- Which brings me to Noriko. I wasn’t really surprised by what she did because I was expecting something along those lines. What worries me though is that this episode reminded me way too much of one of my old headcanons:
Part of why Noriko’s so adamant about the Kiznaiver system is because with it no one will have to be lonely;-; People will be able to be connected with “everyone they love”, as Katsuhira told her. (Which may actually be kind of dangerous because, for all we know, the Kiznaiver Experiment may aim for some sort of “Hivemind” ala Evangelion’s Instrumentality lol)
- My Hivemind fear has reared its ugly head back again. And it’s worse this time because if Noriko connects everyone and acts as the 'vessel’ or 'link’ for the connection, so to speak, wouldn’t that mean she’s going to be taking everyone’s pain within herself? How exactly is she going to survive that? Hopefully, Katsuhira and the others step in and stop her either before she goes too far with it, or take some of the burdens upon themselves to help her stabilize before shutting down the system.
Some more Katsuhira and Noriko:
- Noriko’s talent is sleeping while standing. I CAN’T.
- Katsuhira going into thinking mode and concentrating so hard he couldn’t even hear Nico!! He is too endearing;__;
- Crush at first sight for Katsuhira!!
- Sobs they were so inseparable they even slept together with Noriko’s Gomorin plushie!
