kiznaiver 09 thoughts - part 1
I’ve been getting some messages about my take on Tenga, Nico, and Chidori. So I’m going to focus on Katsuriko and the Kiznaiver Experiment in another post!
I wanted to focus a bit on the character flaws that came to light this episode because I feel like overlooking them would be a disservice.
After all, if we want to truly appreciate the realizations they will have in the next episodes and the people they will have grown to be by the end of the series, we have to explore their current shortcomings as well.
So, some talk about Hisomu, Yuta, and Honoka; but mostly about Chidori, Nico, and Tenga.
Hisomu:
- When not even Hisomu is enjoying the pain, you know shit got real.
- Bless his soul for being funny at the start of the episode.
- So I didn’t get Hisomu being a catalyst for the meltdown, but two things caught my eye:
- First, Hisomu can tell it’s Katsuhira’s pain and that it comes from his heart. He didn’t ask it so much as he realized it.
- And then, this:
- He corrects Katsuhira and tells him the pain isn’t his only. It’s everyones. Now, I may be projecting here but Hisomu looks downright knowing.
- We may have gotten the names of all the children from Noriko’s picture in this episode, but we still don’t know how Hisomu knew Katsuhira beforehand and why he is so knowledgeable about this entire thing. In fact, we don’t know anything about Hisomu and there are only 3 episodes left: 3 episodes which should focus on fixing everyone’s friendship and the actual truth behind the Kiznaiver System. So Hisomu should be involved with it in some fashion
I refuse to settle for anything else.
Yuta:
- Yuta is such a best that it isn’t even funny. He has literally based this episode. Like he was surrounded by people messing up in one way or another and he just kept trying to fix everyone’s mess.
- But the best Yuta scenes today have got to be his with Tenga. First, Yuta stops Tenga from getting physical with Noriko. Then, he calls Tenga out on the fact that he was unintentionally being hypocritical (I’ll get to that when I talk about Tenga).
- And then he manages to keep a clear head despite the urgency of the situation and tries to pull the card he thought Tenga would listen to: You don’t want us to know about your feelings, you’ve always been trying to hide your feelings. Stop this before they get out in the open because we can hear your thoughts! Except Tenga was already too far gone to give a damn by then (which has been a long time coming).
- So yeah, just: Yuta is incredible. I’m curious if Okada will make him talk with Honoka about his feelings for her next episode as well.
Honoka:
- My heart breaks so much for Honoka that it isn’t even funny. Here is this traumatized girl who’s been isolating herself after what she perceived as messing up her first and most meaningful friendship (which to make matters even more painful, was also her first love!). And then come this bunch of people who actually help her let go of the pain. These people actually make it better. And so Honoka starts hopping, starts thinking that maybe she can have a clean start and know what’s like to have friends again.
- And what happens? More or less the exact damn thing. Romantic feelings rear up their head and mess things up.
- Which ironically is going to be a good thing. In her friendship with Ruru, Honoka wanted to keep the status quo. She was afraid of owning up to her feelings and make things more painful. But this time around, the status quo has been literally ripped under everyone’s feet; which is going to make it so that they are honest with each other (share their hearts, reveal themselves) and overcome their issues that way.
- So I feel that by the end, this will help Honoka learn a very good lesson and we’ll have a Honoka who’s much more honest with herself and with others about how she feels.
- That said, Honoka’s quote reminded me SO much of the Cidada thing I was talking about the other day! You have to let your true self come to the surface if you want to form meaningful bonds with others.
Nico
- Nico got me near tears twice. I want to grab her, give her a hug, some hot cocoa, and just let her vent about her unrequited love.
- We have to remember that Nico has had an inkling about Tenga’s feelings for Chidori since episode 5. She starts reconfirming her theory again at the beginning of this episode (“How do you know [that pain] is Chidori’s?”), then confirms it again when Tenga rushes out to White Knight for Chidori’s feelings. And the last straw is watching Tenga lose it on Katsuhira and Noriko on the Basketball Court.
- But the thing is that Nico has literally always known. That’s why Nico says she will go there and “properly get hurt.”
- And that’s why I loved this so damn much.
- You guys. I’ve been rooting for Nico to enlighten Chidori with her wisdom about other’s people’s feelings since she had her monologue about Honoka’s. And this was so, so good! In one fell swoop Nico implied that if Chidori continues hiding instead of facing Katsuhira’s feelings and getting some closure, things will only get worse. She also told her that Tenga will be doing the dirty job for her: ripping Katsuhira and Noriko apart.
- And she also showed a lot of consideration for Noriko and Katsuhira (something nor Tenga nor Chidori have done). They are their own persons with their own feelings, and their moment is going to get stopped because Tenga only sees through Chidori’s eyes and Chidori is just focusing on her own heartbreak. “That’s not fair.”
- And that’s what Nico wanted to avoid in herself. It’s obvious by what she tells Chidori then and by this:
- That Nico intended to confess to Tenga knowing full well that she would get rejected. And that shows something very simple: Nico isn’t only thinking about her own feelings. She acknowledges Tenga’s feelings for Chidori, she accepts those feelings. And she is willing to endure the heartbreak because that’s what’s fair to the both of them. To Nico, because she owes it to herself, to be honest to her own feelings rather than simply dismissing them. And to Tenga, because she owes it to him to respect that he doesn’t feel the same way about her.
- So when Nico’s heart feels this:
- Is it because she is dismissing Tenga’s feelings for Chidori or because she actually thinks things would be that easy? No. Her heart feels that because she is seeing how much Tenga is hurting for his feelings for Chidori. Because she just witnessed Chidori have a breakdown over someone else. So what Nico’s heart is essentially saying is: I wouldn’t hurt Tenga this way because I do love him.
- And hell, that may as well be something Tenga himself is feeling about Chidori and Katsuhira, isn’t it? The difference is that unlike Tenga and Chidori, Nico doesn’t prioritize her heartbreak and her unrequited feelings: she prioritizes their friendship because, at the end of the day, that’s what matters the most to her. And you know she’s being honest because her heart’s voice shifts to that by the end, too.
- So basically, in my eyes at least, Nico – Nico who likes to draw attention to herself – was doing anything but. She has been literally thinking of everyone’s feelings, including her own. Because they’re her precious friends.
Chidori
- Chidori couldn’t have known Katsuhira actually went after Noriko, could she? She just assumed it, and that says a lot about her level of awareness of Katsuhira’s feelings for Noriko.
- I had been waiting for this!! FINALLY, confirmation that Chidori’s been counting on that as her “Victory of Love” card. And look at that body language!! This was literally the perfect illustration of Chidori’s biggest issue right now. It isn’t only that she’s got unrequited feelings. It’s that she felt Katsuhira should behave towards her the way he does towards Noriko, because [Chidori]’s been there longer and is thus more deserving.
- Heck, even in the end she goes “Hold me like you held Sonozaki-san.” But Chidori knows that it isn’t the same (”How could you hold me? You’re so cruel.”). Katsuhira held Noriko because his feelings asked him to, while he held Chidori because Chidori asked him to. And that’s something Chidori will learn to accept and most importantly: respect.
- This is why this right here was good and it bodes very well coupled with the title for the next episode. Hopefully, Chidori will be able to have a heart to heart with Katsuhira next episode and accept what he is going to say to her.
- Which reminds me: The motions Chidori’s face goes through when she sees Katsuhira hug Noriko are nearly the same as they were in the ending, except this time she bursts into tears. Next time that happens, Chidori will most likely be able to smile as she did in the ending;-;
- Episode 10 and episode 11 should be very good for both, Chidori’s character development and her friendship with Katsuhira.
- I’m also glad Chidori’s now aware of Tenga’s feelings for her. This is going to be fundamental for Chidori to gain awareness. Chidori right here is basically in Katsuhira’s shoes (minus his condition, of course): there is someone in love with her and she has been oblivious to it because she’s been chasing after someone else. I’ve been waiting for Chidori to find out about Tenga’s feelings for her because it should help her realize the difference between their approaches: Tenga’s been trying to help her win Katsuhira over despite his own feelings for her, while Chidori’s been clinging to Katsuhira and hoping he will return her feelings despite Katsuhira’s feelings for Noriko.
And the best thing about it is that there’s a fundamental difference between Chidori’s and Tenga’s situation: Chidori’s been clinging to Katsuhira even though Katsuhira’s feelings for Noriko have done him a lot of good (which should be Chidori’s priority: Katsuhira going back to how he used to be.)
Meanwhile, Tenga has been pushing Chidori to Katsuhira even though Chidori’s feelings for Katsuhira have brought her nothing but pain. And that’s what Tenga had to face this episode, the hard way.
Which brings me to:
Tenga:
Tenga took me by surprise this episode, both in positive ways and in not so positive ones lol
I’ll start with the positive.
- Tenga being able to tell the pain was Chidori’s was super sweet and says a lot about his feelings for her.
- I was also surprised to see Tenga was actually aware of his own feelings for Chidori. Looks like I underestimated his emotional awareness! Lol
Now for the negative:
I had noticed this before and found it understandable, but this episode really showed how negative it can be: Tenga literally doesn’t give any weight to Katsuhira’s own feelings, he just cares about Chidori’s.
That’s what made the Basketball Court scene with Nico so effective. Noriko shouldn’t have revealed Nico’s feelings like that, but it had to happen so that Tenga/Nico could parallel Katsuhira/Chidori.
Tenga demands Katsuhira to follow Chidori, but when he is in Katsuhira’s shoes, what are his replies?
And aren’t those things that Katsuhira himself may have thought and felt? Unlike Tenga, Katsuhira had no clue he was the reason Chidori ran out. Unlike Tenga, Katsuhira has no clue Chidori likes him. Unlike Tenga, Katsuhira has a condition that prevents him from giving the emotional responses that people expect him to give.
In other words: Tenga isn’t asking Katsuhira to follow Chidori because Katsuhira may be able to actually help the situation. He is asking him to do it because he expects Chidori to want Katsuhira to follow after her (rather than Tenga himself).
And yet Tenga forces Katsuhira out there but doesn’t follow Nico. And while Tenga being at a loss as to how to handle Nico was completely understandable and nothing to hold against him, the truth is that he was being a hypocrite, just like Yuta basically pointed out.
Which brings me to what happened with Katsuhira.
I said it before but I have to say it again: Tenga messed up really badly. I had been fearing that Tenga’s patience would run out and he would verbally lash out at Katsuhira, maybe even throw a punch.
But to beat him to a pulp?
Yes, Tenga was feeling that physical pain as well, so it was like beating himself up, too. But that’s only fitting because Tenga wasn’t beating Katsuhira up for Chidori. He was beating Katsuhira up for himself.
Because he’s frustrated that Chidori is completely focused on someone who doesn’t look at her the way Tenga himself does. And he’s frustrated that Katsuhira is “wasting” that when Tenga wishes he could be in his shoes.
So again, is it understandable that Tenga reacted the way he did? Sure is. Tenga’s been holding in that frustration over Chidori all along and prioritizing her at the expense not only of his own feelings for her but also of Katsuhira’s feelings. Hence why his annoyance towards Katsuhira builds throughout the episode when Katsuhira fails to respond the way Chidori and thus Tenga want him to. To make matters worse, Tenga can literally feel Chidori’s heartbreak; the heartbreak of the girl he’s extremely protective towards.
So yes, it is understandable that Tenga blew a fuse. Was it to be expected? Perhaps, considering Tenga’s hot-blooded nature.
Was it the right thing to do? No, not by a long-shot. Tenga should have been better than that, and he wasn’t.
And that’s precisely why he has got nowhere to go but up!
I also feel this is why this clusterfuck involving Tendori and Nico had to happen. So they wouldn’t only feel each other’s pain, but literally, be in each other’s shoes.
- Tenga needed to be able to empathize with Katsuhira, to actually consider his side rather than simply Chidori’s. Plus, he also needed to be honest about his feelings for Chidori.
- Chidori needed to empathize with both, Katsuhira and Tenga, in order to stop focusing on her own feelings and properly deal with her situation with Katsuhira.
Thankfully, it’s all going to work out for the best lol
