在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnPrt0n50e
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lAjGkv5Qh
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPWT2ZFN0U
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKOjadGnMo
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhgFuFkdPV
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznngOq6OwJ
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuTaVwWM7Q
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUMkADpoTb
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQR58e42b7P
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2711O98EQ
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJgSrWGM2e
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PgN0l4FrO
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXot1kHq8zo
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQHMHvccKx
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqe9FJDzxY
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjiKhrJ7L2
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4J05qOGbX
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49IONs4Zg8
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UdZbJtSoL
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCpilHfsG7
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQlnkkS5Sc
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50jLboWVEf
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOg45hdDH0
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcwVYYJ7bv
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o3rhmBZSA
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UQckZzvCY
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNdG9zHfiiw
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYy2bDh1t3
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbRpdVraAN
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoaoUaq08ac
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Wn6UPtKpS
Annie：我真係好自卑451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsRF3lRXsU
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwMGo7gVWr
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nuFCeb9e6
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcOoAiBBzK9
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6G9BKepfP
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLQW2F9mPf
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWHBGqaSsy
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENumnaPVTG
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkbDxL0mGi
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXJXoPhA5F
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOW4lamJDTA
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGH0VLi2qX7
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqMGhrvuZD
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OTo45YWQB
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFcT3luqSg
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfriL1SIxXe
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7v1MyuRjc
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8H83kKFBN6
我：我好想食豬扒飯。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUblp0irDtG
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEOl5k8HVt
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMp8RAN9xU
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj53tcXGAh0
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanij3rM1IT
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3zr4vqZKY
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWt6WLDbkL6
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4k9qzkwYCw
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMlln34s6I
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYIIgWalRN
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtRBKQihAV
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo32HYE2HJi
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXOQ7uIcga
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJjZ3RdHwL
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNLo6n40bh
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBiF5nr6LU
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslFSqLmqrE
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEmEwBilWM
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI2sgYa4FU
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeVsRvsCc0E
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQhrsE0XFr
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT49vMsZsvj
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsEbiHAnm0
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjw9mHqVwLU
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLF32A2Qdzd
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Me4DDXgSk
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTgL7JO3FH
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjUltLQtm4
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkvI6fYMQpy
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvy5clTLqbu
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwW5f2IQ7wx
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYJ8Ui0o6U
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5mhAxC26h
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtdwIaES8s
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRgzYcOiyb
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2oftGVHQM
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfSU7xOkYX
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡamHVZeeL6I
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCAoMgAfQNC
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXg864CrfLN
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Tivdw4yEn
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOpJXNHdTJ
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aC18wQSdN
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYq2W3RoUz
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNmMPgBJGv
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefTCM7rSiR
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ92o0IVYsRL
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnuB8aompY1
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDK0eHK7F3
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG1YOZADhyX
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcEQ9j5R0G
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CcpHP6C3G
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXf5kjwL3T
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvttwnLgoq9
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA2v5LhIk1
我：我憑直覺亂估咋451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NPyLvZ8MN
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjETOLj5fYV
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqZTFHxxXX
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BbNWNCP1F
我思索了一會，然後回覆。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9nWrVSXgg
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbG7PJIjl57
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkNlb9gsyR
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpNzck9t8d
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkJXbMVXdx
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4htMwPOQzF
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlK18c6l20
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRO3s5Z5F0
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PS0UGprUn
我：你本身都係bi？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7GfbNI0jH
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0d7oXSZbz
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MpRRMRIzg
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmm6lkj4ht
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLZDU0NJy5
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTesHeujL17
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdv9JzrnwJC
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdXwzhRefX
我：人工閪😏451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4Epv5ZtLi
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWGZQBokc5
Annie：😳😳451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF9IVg7HJv
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NheB3qzBM
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWMG3UhNpD
451Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsfceSmMxD
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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