在TG上,大家互相交換照片,今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。482Please respect copyright.PENANABvqlzp4x0b
482Please respect copyright.PENANAGAsG233aww
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片,她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照,便回應:482Please respect copyright.PENANA0wHAMmA84I
482Please respect copyright.PENANANeVEp6LlQN
Annie:你隔離嗰條女好靚,你啲frd嚟?482Please respect copyright.PENANABSP3bzyAbS
482Please respect copyright.PENANAED6b45x0sg
我:梗係唔係啦,啱啱先識嘅(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANAtlg8tYK4D6
482Please respect copyright.PENANAd3lbwFFviJ
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看,又交流著化妝心得。482Please respect copyright.PENANAN96QwGOCvU
482Please respect copyright.PENANADmKOe1T7Ag
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術,對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說,這三大話題是最長壽命的話題,能用來談很長、很長的時間。482Please respect copyright.PENANA7pNXxMKxuq
482Please respect copyright.PENANALwKkiIUbGe
總之,我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面!482Please respect copyright.PENANAR13pTEIOv3
482Please respect copyright.PENANAR0xmBbIuWD
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時,都必定認識到新朋友,男女都有,也是同樣cosplay的人,然後他們都會跟我交換IG。482Please respect copyright.PENANAMPYHBhyIZu
482Please respect copyright.PENANAOarkQJLnDO
在我的IG裡,粉絲頗多,主要有兩類:一是從cosplay圈認識的人,二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。482Please respect copyright.PENANAqHr1uYwekG
482Please respect copyright.PENANAc7hwRi3Hn7
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文,只有十幾個讚好,但當我發佈cosplay照時,不論是男裝還是女裝,總會引來多3倍的讚好,真是人靠衣裝。482Please respect copyright.PENANAu9FpRzKeht
482Please respect copyright.PENANAcL95gLJzip
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大,但其實這只不過是假象;因為我都很少與人會面,平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。482Please respect copyright.PENANAt8cMqjzfJ5
482Please respect copyright.PENANACkrcFQP5F3
Annie:你個樣本身可以好女仔,出街實冇人知你係偽娘。482Please respect copyright.PENANAqlN1pqyTFM
482Please respect copyright.PENANAAXYJnjwr92
我:但冇計啦我太高喇,實出賣男兒身㗎(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANAAkoofdZVie
482Please respect copyright.PENANAU3UoQN1CyK
Annie:其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣482Please respect copyright.PENANAzCAYgEydLB
482Please respect copyright.PENANADBumIxE4a6
我:做咩突然間講呢啲嘅?482Please respect copyright.PENANA3YnXeUGKk5
482Please respect copyright.PENANA5bdf77tWvV
Annie:以前試過交換完相之後,條仔嫌我肥,就即block我482Please respect copyright.PENANAtWFJBRE5lz
Annie:我真係好自卑482Please respect copyright.PENANAU5iAbIK12l
Annie:啲人成日都同我講,話我個樣唔差,叫我扮下靚就有482Please respect copyright.PENANAet1IDw6TjR
Annie:佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪,但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知,佢哋跟本介意。482Please respect copyright.PENANAm0VrEoO6C5
482Please respect copyright.PENANAYmjPNeLz5I
其實我也很清楚知道,這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌,而在表面的社交應酬上,包裝自己的說話,但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。482Please respect copyright.PENANAV2tn2g99Ml
482Please respect copyright.PENANAVUCiQhNsNK
所以我的世界觀是:適者生存,與其努力去改變世界,倒不如學習保護自己。482Please respect copyright.PENANAyAraQ6eT5N
482Please respect copyright.PENANAaemsuzI95K
偽娘也會被歧視嗎?當然有,只是我比較幸運,身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處;或可能有人心底裡不喜歡,但我相信既然有人不喜歡,那麼總有人喜歡,每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道,多訓練自己的敏感度,便可容易地觀察人心,從而使自己作更好的決定。482Please respect copyright.PENANA7oslNTyfqC
482Please respect copyright.PENANAKI5cr8u4uS
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時,我都說,即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份,當有人被我吸引進來之後,再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。482Please respect copyright.PENANAf6K2Giu73S
482Please respect copyright.PENANAdVfayvIWZo
或許有人問:你這樣不辛苦嗎?不做偽娘就好了。482Please respect copyright.PENANAlTUE0Aj1uG
482Please respect copyright.PENANAUKDduYBFvI
我會反駁:食得鹹魚抵得渴,為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人,會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎?482Please respect copyright.PENANADQGxxQJnR6
482Please respect copyright.PENANAtvCu35wZti
我們又繼續聊,然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。482Please respect copyright.PENANAtQwmrfqAua
482Please respect copyright.PENANAFvKvExJCYE
我:我好想食豬扒飯。482Please respect copyright.PENANAiWhM7keBns
我:不過我想食你件豬多啲(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANAPbcSD3lYc2
482Please respect copyright.PENANAnrJaSdNcSg
Annie:我唔係豬扒!!482Please respect copyright.PENANALhqTEz5Siq
482Please respect copyright.PENANAIIjkqlniaZ
糟糕了,我講錯說話,焦慮的我想嘗試修復。482Please respect copyright.PENANAgIFGpGZbZ8
482Please respect copyright.PENANAJuxyQ0oBdb
我:豬扒都有豬扒嘅好(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANAZaTqPhswAI
482Please respect copyright.PENANAqp1yiF5aJm
Annie:可以啪啪聲嘛(大笑482Please respect copyright.PENANAEKopPDLmFG
Annie:同埋,我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒482Please respect copyright.PENANAPpyYvufdFv
482Please respect copyright.PENANAGtxn0w3aRb
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了,也刪了;總之大概記得,我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑,說過幾句;但是勾起了Annie的怒火,而我又嘗試熄滅。482Please respect copyright.PENANAKWS3VzVbZj
482Please respect copyright.PENANAWzEPK8eND1
我:噢,原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。482Please respect copyright.PENANA8oUF5nTByV
482Please respect copyright.PENANAczv1vA56bh
沒辦法下,我只好裝傻混過去。482Please respect copyright.PENANAn9BQ0n3suX
482Please respect copyright.PENANAHCIW8EaNxq
本以為如此便蒙混過關,於是我們又如常地相處下去。482Please respect copyright.PENANAQ84x2HpWOk
482Please respect copyright.PENANAsttBxPHU6f
接著幾天後,我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片;但是照片要修圖,要等待一陣日子才有。482Please respect copyright.PENANAcRkPPIXIuB
482Please respect copyright.PENANAKFHjP3SmHm
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。482Please respect copyright.PENANAAiv3CiJMBI
482Please respect copyright.PENANAUfmm0teJWS
Annie:你去影泳衣咁有冇相?482Please respect copyright.PENANAjZpT9XxiiM
482Please respect copyright.PENANANV9esgm9wf
我如實地交代暫未有相片,只有一張我當場的自拍照,是上身照,相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。482Please respect copyright.PENANAcbXaoHuC57
482Please respect copyright.PENANAwHJ4hlIAUq
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝,露出大面積白皙的肌膚,正正是我當時的打扮。482Please respect copyright.PENANA9WGmgQw4wM
482Please respect copyright.PENANAFPBKvCqAuD
Annie:慘囉慘囉,連你都咁靚。482Please respect copyright.PENANA7Y6iKrLawI
Annie:我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺482Please respect copyright.PENANArNlhQaCkjq
Annie:驚佢俾風吹走482Please respect copyright.PENANARnggvxdNXg
482Please respect copyright.PENANAsLTZrcnwyn
我:你講緊邊個排骨呀?(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANAgNFnn5sIkz
482Please respect copyright.PENANAmu3FzI9wXQ
Annie:我好唔中意啲男仔自大482Please respect copyright.PENANAj3sC0bNNXq
Annie:見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身482Please respect copyright.PENANAAY2TNLuADP
Annie:佢以為自己有六舊,有好大條J482Please respect copyright.PENANASGEsOxEz2z
482Please respect copyright.PENANAyz4NUwlCJY
我:俾著係我直情同人講:我冇J㗎(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANAYC1iIxn831
我:冇六舊肌同大J,咁咪做返女人囉(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANANsY8X1TZ4D
482Please respect copyright.PENANAxsGbERO7Td
我不像一般的某些直男,在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服,我都會,只是我不會這樣表達而已。482Please respect copyright.PENANAXwtWaXmkRe
482Please respect copyright.PENANAUuFayYA6KQ
事實上,我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照,還有假髮和妝容;並不是因為我對自己男性特徵(例如6腹肌)沒自信,而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。482Please respect copyright.PENANAWOVyHsw3Ct
482Please respect copyright.PENANAVgc2wH3mOc
以火影忍者的語言說,大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」,而我則只是在用「後宮術」,一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。482Please respect copyright.PENANAynfnRY7qob
482Please respect copyright.PENANA9LkmQ4UsqD
Annie:半夜三更瞓唔著,突然性起,傾吓性?482Please respect copyright.PENANAFehW7H9ooj
482Please respect copyright.PENANAuuvSNtoA7y
我:你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀?M到?(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANAm6htemXdYn
482Please respect copyright.PENANAPupKtlsTeT
Annie:係呀,你又知?(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANA0UEyQYCOyw
482Please respect copyright.PENANADFwjPhcODH
我:我憑直覺亂估咋482Please respect copyright.PENANAWmM1lmP5ZN
482Please respect copyright.PENANA4CKiESxcyK
Annie:好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩?482Please respect copyright.PENANAUbQFjByEAb
482Please respect copyright.PENANAZwrBsM7u17
我思索了一會,然後回覆。482Please respect copyright.PENANAqQbIk4zlZH
482Please respect copyright.PENANAprzMcKqYph
我:打呀,但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。482Please respect copyright.PENANA0GlOSKF1Wa
482Please respect copyright.PENANAUnNma076S8
我的性癖,是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道,不是主要的興趣;因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我,是沒有用的;唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。482Please respect copyright.PENANAclKyR14aZG
482Please respect copyright.PENANAtlOOc94P9E
Annie:我屋企都有兩件sex toy482Please respect copyright.PENANAFUpoCje0b2
Annie:我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度482Please respect copyright.PENANAzrrk7huj3f
482Please respect copyright.PENANAiu6UJGs6gW
我:你本身都係bi?482Please respect copyright.PENANAcPzfx45Ixo
482Please respect copyright.PENANAFL1cXszMUG
Annie:唔係嘅,只係貪屌女仔好玩(大笑482Please respect copyright.PENANAwrWVqjscYp
482Please respect copyright.PENANAM957NLrumR
我:話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水482Please respect copyright.PENANAtrATyDePqn
482Please respect copyright.PENANAFVixmk167B
Annie:你都冇閪,點出水?482Please respect copyright.PENANAL19IVI7IlN
482Please respect copyright.PENANAdPZzeom81K
我:人工閪😏482Please respect copyright.PENANA0q4BrGkDYP
482Please respect copyright.PENANAGh3S3qgov8
Annie:😳😳482Please respect copyright.PENANAD8R3HOlFiY
482Please respect copyright.PENANAqcA9gJgSuY
我:你嚟上我啦(笑喊482Please respect copyright.PENANA7LoesM00Tq
482Please respect copyright.PENANAQwk5IgEnD2
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後;另一方面,我們已經聊了1.5個月,我三番四次約會她,她都不出來,漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘,下次應該如何提出約會,還是只保持網上關係就罷了?