在TG上，大家互相交換照片，今年的動漫節我只去了兩天。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvqlzp4x0b
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGAsG233aww
Annie看完我cosplay男角和女角的照片，她看到其中一張我cosplay著女角跟一另一名女coser的合照，便回應：482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wHAMmA84I
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeVEp6LlQN
Annie：你隔離嗰條女好靚，你啲frd嚟？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSP3bzyAbS
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡED6b45x0sg
我：梗係唔係啦，啱啱先識嘅（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlg8tYK4D6
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3lbwFFviJ
接著Annie也給她的化妝照我看，又交流著化妝心得。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN96QwGOCvU
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmKOe1T7Ag
論「擠牙膏式」聊天戰術，對我來講cosplay、化妝、寫網絡小說，這三大話題是最長壽命的話題，能用來談很長、很長的時間。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pNXxMKxuq
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwKkiIUbGe
總之，我最終目的就是要把她約出來見面！482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR13pTEIOv3
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0xmBbIuWD
每次我以cosplay裝扮出席這類活動時，都必定認識到新朋友，男女都有，也是同樣cosplay的人，然後他們都會跟我交換IG。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPYHBhyIZu
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOarkQJLnDO
在我的IG裡，粉絲頗多，主要有兩類：一是從cosplay圈認識的人，二是我從網上寫小說而招來的讀者粉絲和其他作者。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHr1uYwekG
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7hwRi3Hn7
每逢我發佈小說的宣傳文，只有十幾個讚好，但當我發佈cosplay照時，不論是男裝還是女裝，總會引來多3倍的讚好，真是人靠衣裝。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9FpRzKeht
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcL95gLJzip
因此有人會覺得我的朋友圈子大，但其實這只不過是假象；因為我都很少與人會面，平日頂多都是跟我唯一好友Jason見面或獨自一人到cafe消閑。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8cMqjzfJ5
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkrcFQP5F3
Annie：你個樣本身可以好女仔，出街實冇人知你係偽娘。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlN1pqyTFM
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXYJnjwr92
我：但冇計啦我太高喇，實出賣男兒身㗎（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkoofdZVie
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3UoQN1CyK
Annie：其實我好憎啲男仔睇樣482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCAYgEydLB
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBumIxE4a6
我：做咩突然間講呢啲嘅？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YnXeUGKk5
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bdf77tWvV
Annie：以前試過交換完相之後，條仔嫌我肥，就即block我482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWFJBRE5lz
Annie：我真係好自卑482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5iAbIK12l
Annie：啲人成日都同我講，話我個樣唔差，叫我扮下靚就有482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet1IDw6TjR
Annie：佢哋口口聲話唔介意肥閪，但係行動上就好誠實咁話我知，佢哋跟本介意。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0VrEoO6C5
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmjPNeLz5I
其實我也很清楚知道，這個世上沒有絕對的零歧視。很多時候人只是出於禮貌，而在表面的社交應酬上，包裝自己的說話，但心裡仍然保留真正的自己。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2tn2g99Ml
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUCiQhNsNK
所以我的世界觀是：適者生存，與其努力去改變世界，倒不如學習保護自己。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAraQ6eT5N
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaemsuzI95K
偽娘也會被歧視嗎？當然有，只是我比較幸運，身邊的人大致上都是禮貌跟我相處；或可能有人心底裡不喜歡，但我相信既然有人不喜歡，那麼總有人喜歡，每個人總會找到自己的一套生存之道，多訓練自己的敏感度，便可容易地觀察人心，從而使自己作更好的決定。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oslNTyfqC
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI5cr8u4uS
所以在前面說到創建Tinder帳號時，我都說，即管大膽表明自己是偽娘身份，當有人被我吸引進來之後，再慢慢過濾誰是真正交友。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6K2Giu73S
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVfayvIWZo
或許有人問：你這樣不辛苦嗎？不做偽娘就好了。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTUE0Aj1uG
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKDduYBFvI
我會反駁：食得鹹魚抵得渴，為心靈滿足而選擇紋身的人，會害怕生活上的阻礙而放棄嗎？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQGxxQJnR6
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvCu35wZti
我們又繼續聊，然後我嘗試開玩笑地拋出一句。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQwmrfqAua
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvKvExJCYE
我：我好想食豬扒飯。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWhM7keBns
我：不過我想食你件豬多啲（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbcSD3lYc2
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrJaSdNcSg
Annie：我唔係豬扒！！482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLhqTEz5Siq
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIjkqlniaZ
糟糕了，我講錯說話，焦慮的我想嘗試修復。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIFGpGZbZ8
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuxyQ0oBdb
我：豬扒都有豬扒嘅好（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaTqPhswAI
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqp1yiF5aJm
Annie：可以啪啪聲嘛（大笑482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKopPDLmFG
Annie：同埋，我呢啲高嘅係叫坦克車唔係豬扒482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpyYvufdFv
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtxn0w3aRb
最原始的對話版本我已經忘記了，也刪了；總之大概記得，我以「豬扒」這個詞語來開玩笑，說過幾句；但是勾起了Annie的怒火，而我又嘗試熄滅。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWS3VzVbZj
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzEPK8eND1
我：噢，原來我一路以嚟攪錯咗豬扒呢個term嘅用法。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oUF5nTByV
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczv1vA56bh
沒辦法下，我只好裝傻混過去。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn9BQ0n3suX
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCIW8EaNxq
本以為如此便蒙混過關，於是我們又如常地相處下去。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ84x2HpWOk
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsttBxPHU6f
接著幾天後，我又約了一個攝影師在派對房裡拍攝泳裝照片；但是照片要修圖，要等待一陣日子才有。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRkPPIXIuB
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFHjP3SmHm
這晚我又跟Annie聊到半夜三更。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAiv3CiJMBI
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfmm0teJWS
Annie：你去影泳衣咁有冇相？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZpT9XxiiM
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV9esgm9wf
我如實地交代暫未有相片，只有一張我當場的自拍照，是上身照，相中的我看起來與一個穿三點式的女人無異。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbXaoHuC57
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHJ4hlIAUq
艷濃的妝容、長長的啡捲髮、以及黑色三點式泳裝，露出大面積白皙的肌膚，正正是我當時的打扮。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WGmgQw4wM
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPBKvCqAuD
Annie：慘囉慘囉，連你都咁靚。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y6iKrLawI
Annie：我一見到有排骨精就有種想保護佢嘅感覺482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNlhQaCkjq
Annie：驚佢俾風吹走482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnggvxdNXg
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLTZrcnwyn
我：你講緊邊個排骨呀？（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgNFnn5sIkz
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmu3FzI9wXQ
Annie：我好唔中意啲男仔自大482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3sC0bNNXq
Annie：見過有啲男仔喺網上露佢自己上身482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY2TNLuADP
Annie：佢以為自己有六舊，有好大條J482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGEsOxEz2z
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz4NUwlCJY
我：俾著係我直情同人講：我冇J㗎（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYC1iIxn831
我：冇六舊肌同大J，咁咪做返女人囉（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsY8X1TZ4D
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsGbERO7Td
我不像一般的某些直男，在網上放出袒露上身的大漢照。不穿衣服，我都會，只是我不會這樣表達而已。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwtWaXmkRe
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUuFayYA6KQ
事實上，我的確在Tinder放過一張三點式泳裝照，還有假髮和妝容；並不是因為我對自己男性特徵（例如6腹肌）沒自信，而純粹是因為我喜歡美麗的自己。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWOVyHsw3Ct
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVgc2wH3mOc
以火影忍者的語言說，大多數男人都是使用鳴人的「逆後宮術」，而我則只是在用「後宮術」，一個「逆」字只是男版和女版的分別。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynfnRY7qob
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LkmQ4UsqD
Annie：半夜三更瞓唔著，突然性起，傾吓性？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFehW7H9ooj
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuvSNtoA7y
我：你做乜咁突然想講18禁呀？M到？（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm6htemXdYn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPupKtlsTeT
Annie：係呀，你又知？（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UEyQYCOyw
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFwjPhcODH
我：我憑直覺亂估咋482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmM1lmP5ZN
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CKiESxcyK
Annie：好奇想知你唔打飛機㗎咩？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbQFjByEAb
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwrBsM7u17
我思索了一會，然後回覆。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQbIk4zlZH
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprzMcKqYph
我：打呀，但我嘅性幻想唔係男女扑嘢咁簡單。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GlOSKF1Wa
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnNma076S8
我的性癖，是戀物。事實上對於女性的胸、陰道，不是主要的興趣；因此如果有大胸妹子在我面前引誘我，是沒有用的；唯一能刺中我「死穴」的只有女裝。482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclKyR14aZG
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlOOc94P9E
Annie：我屋企都有兩件sex toy482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUpoCje0b2
Annie：我試過自己裝上假J然後插落第二條女度482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrrk7huj3f
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu6UJGs6gW
我：你本身都係bi？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcPzfx45Ixo
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL1cXszMUG
Annie：唔係嘅，只係貪屌女仔好玩（大笑482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrWVqjscYp
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM957NLrumR
我：話說今日我去私影時都就嚟出水482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrATyDePqn
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVixmk167B
Annie：你都冇閪，點出水？482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL19IVI7IlN
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPZzeom81K
我：人工閪😏482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0q4BrGkDYP
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGh3S3qgov8
Annie：😳😳482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8R3HOlFiY
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcA9gJgSuY
我：你嚟上我啦（笑喊482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LoesM00Tq
482Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwk5IgEnD2
今晚看似她已經把我說的「豬扒」拋諸腦後；另一方面，我們已經聊了1.5個月，我三番四次約會她，她都不出來，漸漸地我也被磨去了耐性和動力。我開始有點迷惘，下次應該如何提出約會，還是只保持網上關係就罷了？
Penana
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