I thought she cared. How is it possible that I was so wrong?
I glance at the people around me. Nobody is in a hurry. Everyone enjoys the presence of a family or someone special while waiting for a plane that will take them to some destination dear to them. I’m the only one who’s alone.
I wanted so much for us, but it seems that because of all that fantasizing, I didn’t notice that she didn’t really care. In fact, I still don’t understand what exactly happened. At one moment, everything was great, but at the other, everything went to hell.
All because of the stupid letter.
I didn’t have a chance with her while he was alive, I’m aware of that. But I can’t digest the fact that even now when he has been gone for a long time, I still don’t have a chance. Besides all the girls who were interested in me, did I have to fall for her?
To fall in love with her?
“Excuse me, young man, is it unoccupied?” I looked up and saw an older gentleman.
“Of course,” I said politely, making room for him to sit down.
“Are you traveling alone?” He asked me confused, and I just nodded, not having the strength for anything else.
Dmitri destroyed her, and she destroyed me. But unlike him, it wasn’t as hard for her.
“Me too,” he says so softly, which makes me look at him sympathetically.
“What happened?” I ask, for some reason very interested in his story.
“Cancer,” he said with a sad smile, and I can’t help but feel sad for him.
“I’m sorry,” I say honestly, to which he nods.
“Why are you alone?”
“It’s a long story,” I sighed, aware of how complicated everything is.
“I have time,” he smiles at me, and I decide to tell him everything that’s on my mind.
“The girl I love suffers from depression. She tried to commit suicide twice. Both times I was the one who stopped her. She is now in a private clinic for the treatment of depression. If I couldn’t help her already, maybe the doctors will.”
“Then why are you here? You don’t leave people you love when it’s hard for them,” of course, he thought I left her. Why doesn’t it occur to anyone that she dumped me?
“In fact, she left me. She told me that she didn’t love me and that she never loved me. I have nothing more to do here, so I’m at the airport.”
“Are you giving up?” He observes me, and I scowl.
“She’s already given up on me.” Then why would I feel guilty for deciding to leave when I already have no reason to stay?
“You young people always surprise me again. She gave up on herself. On the other hand, she is just trying to protect you. She tried to hurt you, just so you get away from her,” I look at him confused, not understanding what he wants to tell me.
“I do not get it. Why would she push me away if she cared?”
“Because she is a woman, and their logic is completely incomprehensible to us. In her head, that seems like the most painless option. It reminds me of my Lisa. She tried to push me away every time she had a problem. It’s just that I never decided to leave, despite all her attempts.”
“How long have you been married?” I asked, slowly realizing what he was trying to tell me.
“Fifty years,” I look at him, slightly shocked, which makes him laugh.
“So tell me, young man, do you still want to leave?”
•Vika’s pov•
“Okay, Vika, explain to me what he’s guilty of?” He asked, and I frowned at him because he had no idea what he was talking about.
“Do you, idiot, really think I don’t care about him? You are not aware of how hard it was for me yesterday, but it is for his good.” He looked at me as if I was insane.
“Hello, girl, you broke his heart. What kind of good are we talking about?”
“The heart heals after a while.”
“Well, then, please explain to me how it is that yours can’t heal. Fuck, Vika, you caused him the worst possible moment of his life, and he still wants to be with you. Imagine how he felt when he found you with your arms full of scars,” he continues to attack me.
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I cannot guarantee that in a month, a year, or maybe even ten years I will not feel the same and that I will not try the same again. Should he go through all this again?” I asked him angrily, presenting things to him from my perspective.
“And why don’t you just ask him? If he’s already so crazy that despite everything he’s been through because of you, he still wants to be with you, then you should let him. You will certainly not find another fool like that.” What a talent he has to insult you, it is unbelievable.
“Come on, please give him a chance to decide for himself. Tell him everything you told me and ask him if he still wants to be with you. Let him make his own decision.”
“I don’t want to because I know what he’s going to say,” I persistently refuse to talk to him again. After all I said to him last time, what can I say to him now?
“You will regret it, Victoria. Please just listen to me this time. You know I only wish you the best.”
•Fedya’s pov•
“Why are you here?” I look confused at Victoria, whom I came across in front of the airport.
I decided to listen to that gentleman and not give up, so I decided to reappear at the clinic, asking for a visit. But as soon as I got out of the airport, I managed to collide with Vika.
“I didn’t know they were letting you out,” I said, confused, quite sure they weren’t allowed to.
“They do not. I was actually released from the clinic. They say I’m incurable,” and she looks at me confused, unsure of how she should behave, after all.
“I’m surprised I meet you here,” I asked with interest, to which she nervously broke her fingers. She always does that when she’s nervous.
“Denis told me you were leaving. I wanted to at least clear things up before you left.”
“I thought you already said everything you had,” I notice, and I hear her sigh in frustration.
“I was not honest. I just wanted the best for you. To be honest, I still think it’s a mistake to be here, but Denis didn’t leave me alone. He says I should give you a chance to decide for yourself what you want.”
“At least someone in that family has a brain, it seems,” I noticed, frowning.
“I do not see how you can not understand. I don’t want you next to me because I don’t want to hurt you again.” It seems that that gentleman was right. The experience is a blessing.
“And how can you hurt me?” I closed to her a few steps, laughing at her reaction in the form of red cheeks. I’m not used to her reacting like that.
“I can’t promise you that in a month, a year, or maybe even ten years, I won’t feel the same way, and I won’t try to kill myself again. I don’t want you to go through that again because I realize it’s hard. But I seem to have to let you make that decision yourself. Both my psychiatrist and my crazy brother think so.”
I freeze for a moment when I understand why she was actually trying to push me away. But after a brief shock, I pull her into my arms, aware that I can’t live without her.
“On the other hand, I can promise you that I will do my best, that you don’t wish for that again. Well, even if that happens, we’ll go through it together. But you have to trust me and tell me when you have a problem.” I notice that her eyes are already filling with tears.
“Do we have a deal?” I offered her hand, and she nodded, pulling me into a strong hug, ignoring my outstretched hand.
“And just so you know, I had already given up on Spain before we met. I would never give up on you.”
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