So I guess that when I was sucking on a gas can back in 1980 I asphyxiated and attained a Deathlike state,going places that no one should ever go to.
From everything I have heard about Death is that it's complete blackness.
I am of the opinion that I regressed into an atomic state of consciousness.
It's not something you want to do,trust me;for over forty years I have had the feeling that I came back through the wrong doorway.
Recently I discovered that an atom can be in two places at once: I am here in this existence but at the same time I'm still in that other place in my subconscious mind,a veritable Hell.
Anytime I've seen a photograph of an atomic particle it's buzzing around in complete blackness.The same goes for a photon.
And they are both shaped like a round ball.
I don't remember ever seeing a photograph of an atom in it's natural state,so I doubt if it was suppressed memory,as one guy suggested.(That very same night he happened to ask me about my father."He died in 1968", I told him.A couple hours later his own father died of a heart attack.He didn't quite talk to me after that.I had a habit of talking about my crazy dreams.Everyone at the restaurant thought I was crazy.One night I had this horrible nightmare about a long haired serial killer lurking outside my window.He had no face.Just before I woke up I was cutting out his veins because that was the only way to kill him.His screaming turned out to be a godamn rooster crowing outside my window,and some voice whispered "John,John"....I was reading Norman Mailer's "Ancient Evenings"at the time and that probably triggered something...but anyways, I told everyone at work about my dream and they laughed at me...About two days later everyone in the restaurant treated me suspiciously.I asked a friend what was going on and she told me that Jeffery Dahmer had just been killed in prison.)
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