Depression is a weight that’s on all of us, some more than others. It’s a feeling that is always creeping in. Even when you are at your happiest, it’s still there, waiting for your downfall. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBW2CpmG03R
As someone who has always dealt with this time and time again, it's hard to be happy. It’s hard to stay happy. It’s difficult to see the bright side of things. Almost like a chore, I have to try to force that smile on my face. I grin, show my teeth, and think about a reason that this could possibly still be good.
On a recent night that wasn’t one of my fondest, a friend of mine told me to think of three good things that came from the experience. The problem was that I couldn’t think of anything. But, she gave me three, small silver linings. The things she listed were hardly relevant, but they were still relatively good. So, lately, I’ve been trying to think about three, no matter how insignificant, good things that can come from any experience.
It’s helped a lot.
It’s changing my perspective little by little. I’m trying really hard to not be the “glass half-empty” type of person, but rather the “glass half-full” type.
I’ve struggled with this topic quite a lot in my life. There’s people that bring me down, there’s situations that upset me, there’s things I have to do that make me want to scream, but I still beat on. I try not to let myself dwell in what can’t be helped.
I may seem like someone who has it all figured out, someone who has the answers and is eligible to give good advice, but really, I’m just as defective and pessimistic as everyone else. I can’t be someone for everyone. I can hardly be someone for myself to rely on, much less a person to be leaned on.
Take the viewpoint of me. Take a look at the person I am on the inside. I’ve got it rough too. It’s rare that anyone gets a glimpse of what I’ve been through because I’m so good at pretending that I’ve got it all the answers. But, I don’t. I am simply someone who actually tries to have the answers and who tries to be something better.
Here’s the thing about depression: it’s toxic and it spreads like wildfire. My list of three little optimistic thing’s can only get me so far. I’m faulty and breakable even at my strongest. The needs and worries of others only heighten my sense of self-degradation. It makes me look at the bad in myself, it brings me down. It makes those three little things seem almost impossible to accumulate.
So, when I don’t gripe and complain about every little mishap, there’s a reason for it. It’s to keep myself somewhat stable. There is a limit to how much negativity I can take.
To be me is a lot harder than might you think. Everyone has their own problems, too. So, to think as simplistic as to worry about the kind of advice you are given is as selfish as it gets. To not worry about how the negativity you bring affects other people is condescending.
Depression makes you feel like nothing you do is right. I can’t have people blaming me for what I can’t be for them. Don’t expect me to what you need. Don’t get upset because I’m not who you want me to be. I can only be the person I know how to be.
Expectations lead to disappointment, which is what I will be if people are too quick to judge who they think I’m supposed to be. 896Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3lI3vBFLj5
