I think (knock on wood) that things are beginning to get better. Mind you, this is still the summer so I haven’t started my first semester of college yet, so this outlook could quite possibly be short-term, sadly. Well, in all honestly, things being “better” is temporary for all of us.
Nothing lasts forever, I suppose.
Back on topic: better.
Things are starting to look up instead of down. I don’t seem to be plummeting to rock bottom any more, like Alice, I guess I’ve landed in a floating chair or something. Who knows?1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDnxSUNZSq
A big part of “The Better” is that I’ve been getting more in-tune with some old and new things in my life. I’ve kind of been pushing religion out of my life for some time now and because of a dear friend of mine, I’m picking it back up again. She’s the type of person who can make you feel so loved and exuberant while just being in her presence. She is truly the most honest and kind person I’ve ever met. That being said, I think a lot of that stems from her faithfulness to her religion. Wanting that same glow of clarity and benevolence is what is sort of driving me to practice my religion. Her happiness seems to come from that unyielding conviction and all I want is to be happy.
Another big part of my state of temporary “Better” is the removal of certain people in my life. I believe that to be happy you have to be surrounded by positive people, or at least, people you feel good to be with. Some of the people I’ve been pulling away from aren’t people that I don’t love or don’t like anymore, but people that aren’t good for my soul.
They’re people that bring me down, to put it simply.
They aren’t the type of people to just let loose and stop talking crap about people or who can’t have fun without some sort of influence. They’re “one-uppers” who always have to be better in some way and if they are then they won’t let you forget it. They are toxic people who think it’s childish to be childish and who have to be the center of attention. Or, they could just be people I don’t seem to have much in common with anymore. This doesn’t mean I don’t miss them or haven’t tried to fix the relationships I have with these people, it just means we just aren’t good for each other anymore. That they haven’t tried to mend the cracks in our relationship or change at all, and their lack of interest makes for a half-hearted relationship. I’m not a saint, either, but at least I’m trying.
Thirdly, I’m having some lifestyle changes - i.e., food and exercise habits. Usually my life goes a little something like this: sees bad food then eats said bad food. But, turns out that’s not how it’s supposed to work.
So, at least once a week I will eat a salad, preferably a caesar salad with no meat. (I’ve been trying to become a vegetarian, but it's so expensive to be.) Sodas are also a big no-no, instead I’ll get water with lemon or some juice. If you don’t like plain water, then squeezing the lemon in it gives it a bit of flavor. Cutting back on dairy and unhealthy snacks have been especially hard, but grabbing an orange instead of a cookie is better than nothing.
Exercise is a must. Admittedly, I haven’t been doing much lately, but that’s going to change real quick. I have some workout buddies that I rely on for that extra push. Though, apparently, I haven’t been running the right way (which is thanks to my supposedly “well-informed” friend), so I’ve got some knee and ankle injuries to rest for a while, but that can happen even if I’m doing it right.
Lastly, I’ve been trying to work on my attitude and emotions. I’m not too good with telling people how I feel or thinking positively. I mean, I can dish out the advice and optimism, but I can’t take it. Criticizing people is also a flaw of mine, I have this arrogant complex I like to get when I’m annoyed or feeling less than up to par. So, I’ve been trying to work on that too. Finding the balance between realism and optimism is also difficult. Trying to be happy while being realistic isn’t easy when I still believe in happy endings. Well, I guess to an extent I still should. See... it’s so contradictory. Because of this I’ve just been doing instead of thinking and relying on intuition, which isn’t that great either. Oh, well, I’ll just have to see how it goes.
Anywho, that’s my tid bit of an update. Hope you enjoyed my prolix of “The Better”, however short-lived it may be.
1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ABVFJFqRg
(Right after I wrote this I got into a lot of family drama. How dolefully short-lived “The Better” was indeed.)1007Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlmKhLiRE9
-- Ayame
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