Light flooded my eyes when I opened them, screaming and tearing myself away from the monster that had been trying to devour me.
I fell, crashing to the floor and pulling down a thin sheet with me that tangled my kicking legs.
Where was I?
Why did I have skin again?
Where was the spider?
I tried to find something familiar in this strange room. There was the table I had fallen from which was an old surgical one made of cold metal.
That didn't ring any bells.
The sheet was a worn flat sheet that had rings of brown stains on it from old blood that had tried to be bleached out unsuccessfully.
The lights above were blinding. They bore down on me while humming through thier long plastic shields.
OK, so they didn't belong to any of the ones in the Base rooms.
My hands found the bottom of a shelf behind me. I looked down to see that it was fully stocked with black wedges neatly folded but was more fascinated in the fact my skin was back without a single mark from the spiders that had torn it apart.
I smiled, gasping when I pinched the back of my hand and felt the jolt of life from the pressure.
But how? The last thing I remembered was being naked and pouring ooze; about to be torn apart by a giant spider.
And I had clothes on now. They looked like the dirt-cheap foldies my work sold. The grey shirt hung from me with the black tracksuit pants that had thier drawstring pulled to its limits.
OK, so I knew I was back at the Base then, but where abouts?
An old surgical table and black plastic bags....
"Scalpel?" I called out.
"Hey! Hey! He's alive!" a cheerful voice came from somewhere behind the walls before his head popped around the one opposite me, just above the table "thought you were a gonner!"
I lifted my shirt to check for my glowing heart. Only tacky skin covered me without an illuminated bone in sight.
I slapped it to make sure it wasn't some crazy illusion.
I wasn't still lying on the road, was I? 103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmDkb8iHZQ
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46Tp9Jj5c7
I didn't just hallucinate that insane dark world and the spider coming to destroy me?
There was light here. I wasn't hallucinating that.
But, it felt so.... real.
"So, what did you drag up from the Dead Side?" Scalpel quizzed as he sat on the table "something scary? Something really gross with eyes all over it?"
"Uh... nothing" I let the words fall out as I checked around me "there was a spider. It was... eating me. "
"Urgh, gross" Scalpel shivered dramatically "I don't do spiders; too many eyes and legs."
"Hang on" I paused and frowned at him to make him stop his antics "what 'Dead Side'? You mean, I didn't just make up all that shit about the lights and the spider and the beam going all the way into the sky?"
Scalpel shook his head in amusement. He slid down from the table to come and pull me to my feet.
"Scary, huh?" he breathed.
I couldn't even think about how a place like that even existed or how I had got to it.
I had died, but I had gone there. I shouldn't be here talking to Scalpel right now. I should be in the dark place; the 'Dead Side' he called it?
And what about the spider?
I checked the room again just to make sure it wasn't going to squeeze its legs through the door or come out of the shelves behind me.
This was real, right? The table under my hands felt warm where I had been laying and cold where I hadn't. I couldn't make that up to feel that realistic.
I should have been panicking. I was scared enough to have some sort of reaction, but my breath was still caught in my throat, unmoving. I was here but I wasn't breathing.
"What's inside me?" I whimpered when I looks down to see my chest rising and falling calmly on its own without me "the... spider?"
Oh, fuck no. I couldn't have something like that inside me! It was going to swallow me whole! It was going to rip apart my body from the inside out!
I dropped to the floor to bring my legs up and shield my face with my arms. My hands grabbed my hair just to make sure what I was feeling was actually happening.
What did I do? How did I get it out of me?
"Xy, there's nothing you can do now" Scalpel dropped down beside me to rub my back "if you saw this spider and felt it attacking you, chances are that's who you are stuck with now. All you can do is blend in and try not to lose your shit."
He gestured to my wrist that I lifted to see it was still free of the Band. My hopes rose, but were quickly crushed when Scalpel peeled a copy from his wrist and held it.
"You can't go out like that" he grimaced "look, I'll be more than happy to teach you about this hole, or you can let Eagle sort it out and palm you off to some other sorry sod who could be swinging from the railing."
Trypano hadn't stood a chance. I didn't want someone else to end up like her and out on display for some sick power trip.
"I'm useful here" Scalpel pressed "they can't kill the closest thing they have to a doctor."
"If you really want to risk it" I sighed back and held out my wrist to him "it was nice for a while."
"For a while" he agreed as he snapped the Band around it that immediently shrinked into place like it had never left, blinking from the bulb to track me once more.
"Let's get the blank screen sorted" he spoke up when I looked down to it "don't want people getting ideas now."
Sick fucks. Of course they'd want to prey on someone who hadn't even become one of them yet. The perfect window when that was allowed.
I followed Scalpel down a narrow hall to come out into the main room I had ended up in on my first time here.
The beds were mostly empty now, excpet for a few that had thier shower curtains drawn to give the occupants some privacy.
"You'll probably get some new name, but for now, I'll keep you as Xylosma" Scalpel smiled while writing onto a strip of tape he carefully placed over the screen to try and make it look legit "for now get to Eagle, grab a new Mission, and go earn a name. The sooner the better."
"I just died" I complained back "give me a break."
"You can have a break when you stay dead!" Scalpel called out as he powered over to the beds "now shoo! You've got some living to be doing and arses to kiss!"
I grumbled under my breath and scuffed my feet out of the hospital and back into the Base to stare up at Eagle's office and sigh.
This was my life, wasn't it? Even death couldn't rescue me from the storm he had brewing for me. I knew I was going to cop it, but I also knew that delaying would make it worse.
Rip it off like a bandage, stay silent, call him Sir and don't think.
I could do that.
I didn't know the extent of the ticking time-bomb I was walking into when I opened the door to the office and had both Eagle and Talow look up at me standing there.
He looked so much like the leader. Not physically, but it the way he held himself and deligated jobs between them to help easier spread the workload. 103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4uhLIKlDg
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxy4yhiTLVP
He finished up and excused himself to walk past me with a hard scowl of warning.
I watched him leave, mouthing for him to save me as he shut the door.
I didnt want to turn back around. I knew Eagle was burning holes through my back.
I straightened and put on a brave face to stand at the table and stare at the back wall.
Don't think. Silence.
"I finished the Mission, Sir" I choked out and prepared for the abuse.
He was silent, pulling out papers to flick through them and press them to the table.
"Does it say anywhere here that you had multiple days to complete this Mission? I must be having a hard time finding it. Come, take a look for me."
Was he being serious or rhetorical?
"Come on" he insisted in a light voice "take a look."
I cowered over, checking his face before picking up the paper and pretending to study it.
I already knew it didn't. Maybe I could try and pass it off like I hadn't read it properly?
"No, Sir" I put them back down on the table "it doesn't."
I decided against it. Playing dumb was only going to make things worse.
"You had it all laid out and you still fucked it up" his voice grew sour "I can't keep around Souls who take advantage of my generosity and decide that they want to try and escape instead. You came to me for a Mission and I gave you one you could have easily handled."
"I ran into complications, Sir" I breathed back while trying not to sound whiney "I was stuck and..."
"EXCUSES!" Eagle slammed his fist down on the table to make me jump "ALL I HEAR FROM YOU IS EXCUSES! WHY. DID. IT. TAKE. YOU. EIGHT. DAYS!?"
He pounded his fist on the table to emphasise his words. With each bang on the wood, my heart felt like it was hammering all over again.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to run and hide. I wanted to know where the eight days had gone too.
"I have no reason, Sir" I hung my head instead.
I felt the tears prick my eyes before blinding me. I couldn't wipe them away and furiously tried blinking to try and suck them back in.
"Look at me when I talk to you."
Fuck.
I pulled my head up and focused on the blurry back wall so I didn't need to see Eagle's anger.
I already could tell he was judging me for getting teary like this. He probably regretted even having any shred of hope for me.
"Weak" he hissed as I sniffled "this is what happens when someone defective let's thier emotions take control. They breed cowardly, spineless Souls who can't even handle the simplest of tasks. You are taking up valuable space that I could use for someone willing to actually stand before me and be proud that they could risk it all and come back triumphant. You are nothing."
I wiped my eyes now that Eagle had his thoughts out in the open. I didn't have any pride left in me, only the shame that rolled down my face and trembled through me.
I watched Eagle open his desk once more and gently slide out a handgun he placed on top. He lifted it to inspect the glinting surface before snapping open the barrel and loading a single bullet into it he cocked and pushed towards me.
"Kill yourself before I do."
It was ready and waiting. One squeeze of the trigger and the gun could easily shoot my through my stomach from the way it was pointed.
Eagle waited, gesturing for me to handle the weapon.
I cowered over to pick it up and feel it's heaviness nestle in my palms. It was so much bulkier than it looked in my video games. I was like a child being given permission to play with the adults.
"Kill yourself" Eagle growled "I don't have all day."
The gun scared me but I couldn't let it go. It gave me a sense of security and power I knew was only trickling into me because I was trying to cling to anything to get me out of this situation. With the power came my anger and everything that urged me to act on it now that I had something as terrifying as this.
I pointed it at Eagle, drawing in all of that jittering adrenaline-pumping confidence to keep the gun from shaking as badly as my voice wanted to.
"I am not going to let you just sit there behind your damn desk and act like you know what I went through!" I snapped, hardening my voice and blinking through my glistening eyes "I had my entire body infested with spiders! I was eaten alive and died on the damn road not knowing what the hell was happening to me!" I shook the gun at him to really emphasise my frustrations "I died, you fucking prick, and got off the damn table to come up here like the bitch you take me for and expect me to be. I've been through hell since I got dragged into this hole, and you expect me to stand here with a 'Yes, Sir, No, Sir' day in and day out without so much as an opinion on the next suicide Mission you send me on. I died out there; bled out with no fucking skin, and that's what I deserve, hey? Just toss me out and roll in the next one! Why don't you get up off your arse and head out there next time if you want your Missions done so badly? I bet you've never worked a damn day in your life or felt how hard it is. I did my fucking best out there and it's still not good enough for you" I glared at Eagle who still sat there calmly behind his desk and papers, feeling the fuel running dry now that my message was made "I tried, Sir, I really did."
"Are you done now?" Eagle only replied in boredom. No remorse, no sympathy; nothing.
The anger snapped back to me in an instant and I aimed the barrel at his head before pulling the trigger.
Eagle still didn't move when the noise pierced through the room and ripped down my eardrums to make me drop the gun to try and muffle it. 103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLK7LsSNRUw
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTesVZkfggp
The thumping wet sound of Eagle's brains blowing out the back of his skull and splattering along the wall behind him momentarily made me forget the gunshot to focus on the silence.
I stood there in shock at the sight, unsure if I should be running for my life or claiming sweet ownership of destroying such a twisted man.
"See, what I would do is stand up for what I did" Eagle drawled and lifted a hand up to feel the back of his head where the bullet shattered "that's going to be a bitch to clean out."
"T-to clean out?!" I cried out and gestured to the wall "that's what you are worried about?! I killed you!"
"Please" he rolled his eyes and scoffed "I give you a gun and don't expect you to shoot me with it? Try that shit again though, and I will let the shot completely deafen you, got it?"
Of course he could manipulate shit like that. What couldn't this prick do?
Die apparently.
"Fuck you" I spat.
He just waved me off so he could focus back on his papers that he swiped blood splatter from with a wrinkle of his nose and annoyed sigh.
I stormed for the door, amazed I had been given another chance but too furious at his whole dismissal to my heartfelt speach to be grateful for it.
Holy shit, what had I done?
I'm sure if he knew a way to kill me again, Eagle would have then and there.
He found my outburst amusing enough to change his mind on killing me. Hopefully his interest would remain so I could keep my head above water.
I didn't want to pull a stunt like that again. I don't think I could. I was already shaking way too much at how lucky I had been to be walking out of that office right now.
What an idiot...
I leant on the railing to try and compose myself. Watching the Souls below in thier own little social groups took the edge off. The looked happy together, teasing thier friends so wholeheartedly.
That would be nice.
I saw that the tape from Scalpel was already starting to peel from where my tears had dropped onto it. I sighed in annoyance and tried to stick it back down, but when I did, I realised that there was already another name underneath.
Phillius.
What the hell was a Phillius? I'd never heard of that before.
I looked up to the office, pondering why Eagle had just handed me a name without having me earn it like I should have.
Did he really like me shooting him that much to reward me for my brief stint of bravery in standing up to him?
What an odd guy.
I peeled my tape name off to flick it over the edge of the railing I pushed off from to begin my hunt for Darvin.
Even though I could see my door in the distance, I wasn't going back to mine. Solanine knew where to look and would keep that as one of the areas he frequently checked for me at.
I needed a change before he realised I was back. If I could get away with a new name and location, I could probably go as far as changing my looks and the company I kept to really show him I was a new person and not the one he thought he had a hold over anymore. I burnt those bridges and I meant it.
I'd start with moving in with Darvin, if he let me and if I found him. Keeping him close would better protect me from Solanine whenever he decided to show up.
Now that I was certain I had a spider lying somewhere under my skin, it would be better for me to be with others like me so I could better understand this damn thing and what to expect. Darvin knew that better than anyone.
I'd finally have someone I could relate to and be my friend. Maybe a friend who wanted to have the occasional fling; maybe something more once time let us figure that out.
The thought made me smile. Being with him now that the whole hatchery ordeal was past us was fun. He made me realise that life could be more than orders and wondering who had become my enemy today.
I didn't know if Darvin felt the same way. Once I found him, I'd have to see.
Finding Darvin had been an absolute fluke on my end. It turns out that the lucky bastard had already found a room to call his own that he was hurriedly sprinting from and towards me before realising who I was to light up immediently.
I was led back to the door he let me enter first, peeling around me to rush up the stairs excitedly.
"Its not much, but i've already started redecorating the bedroom" he gushed when we reached the top and I went over to relax in the foldout couch planted in the middle of the room "got to have some sort of comfort around here."
He opened the bedroom door to show me the whole room just layered in his soft webbing he made for his dirt nests. The only thing he had from the bedroom was a thick, puffy doona layered in the bottom of the sticky halo Darvin patted.
"We can always share if you want to" he added hopefully with a look at his handiwork "the room could be cozy for both of us."
Cozy? He wanted me to become like him; eight legs and all. I wasn't even sure if it was possible, or if I was ready.
I didn't feel different. I was a little tense, but that could be from the time I had spent laid across a surgical table. Other than that, I felt... nothing.
"How do I know if it's inside me?" I looked to him with concern "I can't feel anything."
Darvin sat on the couch and faced me. He saw how uncertain I was and didn't push me. He just leant back and offered his side to me by lifting his arm.
I hesitated at first but saw that he wasn't going to let this one go. His smile came again when I flipped around to rest my head on his side that shifted so I was pressed into him and his hand could cup my shoulder. 103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCI7nsXlItY
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTnsLmW9xw
I remained aware of my body so that I could be ready if I did feel something scratching around in there.
I shuddered, remembering the scurrying legs and gnawing of the baby spiders that had burst out of my skin. The endless dripping of the fluid rolling down me was my reminder that had actually happened. 103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubllgEDvyw
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SWSth1FzB
With perfectly smooth skin covering me, it felt like I had just lived a nightmare that seemed so hard to believe had happened.
"Sometimes, if you have a demon, they talk to you" he tapped my hand for my attention "in your head. It's like your thoughts, only louder and more annoying."
I didn't hear voices in my head other than my own. At least I hadn't devolved into madness just yet.
"Then, you have ones that don't talk to you. They become a part of you instead, coming out when you decide to call on it. With you, I think your little friend became a part of you if you aren't hearing voices or feeling something physically moving inside you. I'd say that whatever you came across while you were in the darkness ate your light and gave itself to you to come back here."
I had felt it too when the spider had charged at me to tear me apart. I grabbed my chest, Darvin's fingers prying mine off to place them back down.
"It happens" he chuckled when my eyes darted up to his in mounting panic "some demons will do anything to come into a world of light and new opportunities; even give up thier own free-will and conciences to achieve it. It's body is yours now to become a part of whenever you want. The only thing remaining of it is the form you take. You have nothing to worry about."
"So, I am the spider?" I peered at my hands I lifted and turned, trying to catch a glimpse of new hair or some sort of hidden fold where two arms could split into four.
"Hang on, a spider?" Darvin straightened up in surprise "for real?"
"Pretty sure that's what murdered me, yeah" I sighed "actually, what killed me the first time and the second time."
"There are things we can't change" he brushed that aside quickly and then gasped "do you know what this means?! With us both being the same, we can both hunt down our own family to join and slip straight in! Isn't that exciting?" he babbled breathlessly.
I didn't share his enthusiasm. I just looked at Darvin blankly before pulling away from him.
"Nope, nuh-uh" I declined flatly "I am not squeezing into a room filled with spider... dudes! One is enough! One!" I held out a finger towards him "I've only just come to terms I've got some liquidated spider guts now floating in my blood or some shit; I don't need to be ganging up with a family of them because we are the same! We aren't the same! I had no choice in this!"
"Okay, okay; chill" Darvin chuckled nervously at me "I'll go and you stay; simple. When I figure out which Soul out there belongs to the family, I'll let you know. Safety in numbers."
Safety in numbers.
What's to say that when he found this new family that he would come back? I'd only drag him down by not wanting to live to thier crowded conditions.
"You don't like the idea?" he leant closer when I folded my arms "come on now, do you think I'm just going to forget about what we went through together? Do you really think I'm going to go out there to put on a light show and shake my arse for anyone?"
I snorted and saw his hand try to pull my arms apart.
"I'm not just going to use you like that. We are going to get through this shit together, just like we did out there. You are stuck with me, Xy, whether you like it or not; hopefully not 'not'."
"Well, one thing it is not is Xy" I flashed my Band to him, gloating "It's Phillius now."
"Sounds like the cheese" he thought out loud before I slapped his arm "what? Don't you like that, Little Cheese?"
"You are an arsehole" I grinned "Little Cheese? Not the cringe nicknames from you too."
"Me too?" he slid closer curiously "do tell."
I groaned out and smiled at how stupid it had been. I thought it had been cute at first, until the nickname and my actual name were used against me like everything else.
"It was... Baby Bird" I mumbled out and felt my embarrassment rush up to try and sink me into the couch.
Darvin exclaimed out loudly and whooped, laughing.
"Did he fuck you with that name?" he pried in a joking tone that I stayed silent to, making him gasp in realization "no! He did?!"
"I'm not saying anything" I spoke back to try and save some of my dignity.
"Baby Bird" Darvin tested the name with a wicked smile "imagine that. How would you even get off to that being said? It makes my dick shrink just thinking about it."
"It was a twist on my actual name."
"I'll call you Willy Philly then" Darvin shrugged casually then turned to me with a glint in his eye "do you like that, huh, Willy Philly? You like that shit?"
He hovered over me, pretending to fuck my side which made me laugh.
"Oh, Willy Philly!" Darvin moaned dramatically "harder Willy Philly! Urgh! I'm going to cum! Willyyyy!"
He groaned out and hunched over me, pretending to finish before collapsing back into the couch, laughing with me.
"Kind of like that?"
"You missed the 'More, Baby Bird', 'are you enjoying yourself, Baby Bird?' parts."
Suddenly, Solanine was in my head, making me think that he was going to change and that we were going to be perfect mates. Only he could touch me, but I had found someone else who didn't use that limitation against me.103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLc2OpIXXpu
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SICiHJOi5
I didn't have much to mock since majority of my encounters with him had been brutal to begin with.
Darvin's nose wrinkled at my failed teasing. He flashed a weak smile and let his laughter die off so he could push my head down onto his chest and curl my hair in his fingers. My legs folded up beside me so I could really enjoy this moment.
"If someone had to ask you if you are enjoying it, do you think you are?" he voiced quietly.
I felt the hot tears well up and prick at my eyes. He understood me perfectly and how broken I was, just from one off-handed comment that reminded me of how helpless I had been.
"No" I whispered back.
"If I ever hurt you or do something that reminds you of those bad things, you tell me. I didn't want it to get like this, but we could tell things weren't going to go well the moment he was mentioned."
I nodded, sniffling and holding onto Darvin's shirt hem for comfort. His arms moved to hug me now and his head rested on mine. I leant into it to draw in the warmth that soothed me.
With him, I felt safe; even if it was just in a simple hug.
"Whenever I feel down, I like to get out of my head with a nice hot chocolate and a soak. Want me to make you some?"
"Y-you can drink that?" I wiped my eyes and tried to grin.
"I'm not a dog" he rolled his eyes back at me and squeezed my arm before getting up "now, do you take your one with little marshmallows?"
"You really don't need to do that" I mumbled over the couch when he pulled open the doors to the cupboard and walked inside to ruffle through the neat shelves.
"You are going to enjoy it" he jabbed a finger towards me with mock anger "now, marshmallows or not?"
I just nodded, wiping the new tears emerging.
"And after, I'm running you a bath you can soak in until you go pruney. Then I'll hunt you down some clothes" he smiled over the cups he pulled out of the cupboards above him.
"You really don't need to" I piped up louder this time at all the trouble he was going to "I've got my place. I can just duck over there, grab my stuff, and bring it here."
"To live?" he suggested.
Oh, to live? That's what I wanted, but I wasn't sure if he wanted the same thing. After all, this was his room; his own private space.
"To live" he agreed to my stunned silence "you aren't going to have any troubles? Do you need me to come with garbage bags?"
He pulled out a roll to shake it before tossing it to me. They were bright purple and smelled like lavender.
What was wrong with just normal ones? These were so over the top.
"Seriously, this place is loaded" he gushed over the electric kettle he had boiling that he gestured to "huh? Huh?"
"Yes, you made a good call" I praised him and his excitement "the caveman discovered electricity."
"And running water!" he added with flourish as he turned on and off the tap.
God he was such a fool. I loved how silly he was compared to everyone else around here. It was refreshing to not be so on-guard or reminded of what laid beyond the walls when Darvin was involved.
"Sure you don't want me to come?" he fretted "four hands are better than two."
This was something I needed to do by myself. I knew Solanine was going to either spot me heading to mine, ambush me while I was there, or already be inside. I had to stand up to him by myself. If Darvin was there, it would look like he was fighting for me. I didn't want Solanine to set his sights on Darvin and have something done to him. He could stay here where he was safe and his only worry could be how long the kettle would take to boil.
"I'll be fine" I reassured him and pointed to the clicking kettle "I'll look forward to that."
He turned back to make the drinks while I took the stairs down to the Base.
I knew I would see Solanine when I walked towards my room I kept my eyes firmly locked on.
I expected him to come out of each door I passed or come storming up the staircases I darted around hurriedly.
I had to get in and out as quickly as I could. Not knowing where Solanine was had me more nervous than actually knowing where he'd be lurking.
I slid around my door and carefully crept up the stairs to peek around the corner of the wall and check the area.
Solanine wasn't here.
The door to the bedroom and bathroom were closed. He could be in there.
First was the bedroom. I could feel the sweat on my hands when I flung it open and held the roll of garbage bags out like a weapon in front of me. The bed was clear and so was the open cupboard with my clothes inside.
Next, the bathroom.
Again, the garbage bags poked through the room before I did, leading the way into the empty room. 103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVSz8neUVhg
103Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdMLOl3xng
The mirror above the sink had been left open to show the barely used beauty products Trypano had gifted me when I first came here.
Funny. I don't remember leaving it like that...
"What are you doing?"
I jumped at the sudden voice behind me and yelled out, squeezing my eyes shut as I hauled the garbage bags towards it. It was close; maybe about two meters away.
Opening my eyes to see it connect, I cringed when Talow was the one who was bending over to pick it up, not Solanine.
I checked around him but saw he was alone.
"What the hell?" he groaned out as he rubbed his head.
"Sorry" I rushed over to take the bags from him "I thought you were someone else."
"Who sounds like me?" he complained as he straightened up "what are you doing? You've been missing for days without a word where you went."
"I was on a Mission" I waved it aside while ripping the paper off the bags so I could unroll one "and now I'm moving out."
"Of a perfectly good room?" Talow looked around then sighed "this is because of Solanine, isn't it?"
I grumbled at the name and moved out of the bathroom I closed.
"If you knew, why would you ask?" I shot to him when I hurried past.
"To get it from you before assuming?" Talow replied coldly and followed me to the bedroom so that he could sit on the bed "you look panicked."
"No shit."
I heard Talow exhale and saw him watching me with interest.
"So, how come you are only leaving now and not earlier?"
I slammed the cupboard close and moved past Talow with a finger out to shush him.
"Usually people try much harder to get away from something they don't like" he continued from the doorframe while I barged over to begin ripping the cords out of my console "and you were going to become his little knot."
I saw his fingers twist and heard him chuckle at his statement.
"Who's the new one then?"
My heart faltered when I heard Talow confirm his own suspicions. I tried to ignore it, moving to my TV to unhook it now.
"You can talk to me, you know" he sat down beside the setup to watch me roll up the cords and dump them "I'm not going to do anything."
I didn't know if I could trust the guy. So far, I had only ever seen him when he was on Missions and throwing around his position in the Base to get work done. He seemed all talk then and now when he was rubbing heads with Eagle.
Anyone close to Eagle was bad news.
"Guy or a girl?" Talow pried, picking up my console to hand it to me when I bagged the controllers "I'm thinking it's another guy from the company you've been keeping."
I stayed quiet, not wanting to give anything away.
"OK" he shrugged "can i take a guess?"
"Go for it" I said without a care as I ripped off another bag to head to the kitchen.
There were hundreds of men here. He couldn't pinpoint it all down to one.
"I think it's that new guy with the scars who came in with earlier" he teased "the real rough type whose Mission you disappeared on and who was in the office with us. The no-name, r...."
"Okay! Okay!" I cried out "you don't need to keep dragging it out!"
"Well, if you told me, we wouldn't have this problem" he shrugged, coming over to unhinge the drawers and tip the utensils in for me.
I kept my eyes on Talow who moved to the one below and held it out, waiting for me to keep the bag steady.
"So, is it true you died on the Mission?" he spoke up, tipping the drawer and replacing it "went to the Dead Side and all that? Eagle grilled your little friend all about it who told us everything."
"How come you were even there?" I narrowed my eyes at him and watched him struggle with the third drawer he eventually yanked loose.
"I need to know these things" he played it off casually "me and the Second are there to make sure things run smoothly, and that means talking over Missions before rough scar types come in to interupt us. I know things from what I see and hear."
"You can read minds too" I sighed "of course."
Talow snorted and held out his hand for the bags I passed him.
"Hell no. I've got a lot flowing through me, but nothing like that. I'd shoot myself before I wanted to hear every dirty thought around this place."
He had me intregued. Obviously it had to be something good if Eagle wanted him up so high to be contributing with his right hand man.
"So, which one got you?" Talow asked as he moved over to start dumping food from the cupboard into his bag.
I cringed at the memory of the spider charging me as I cowered under it and screamed while it tore out my heart.
"I'd rather not say."
Talow looked dissapointed, if not a little sympethic. He held his bag and played with the strings on the top until he dropped it and came over to me.
"Dying isn't the end of the world" he spoke with fierce compassion "you can live how you want now with something powerful to keep you protected in a place like this."
"No offense, but you wouldn't know the first thing about needing to be protected. You don't face the same problems I do. You are up here" I held my hand up high "and I'm down here. You both made that clear before any of this happened."
I tied off my bag aggressively and moved to the cupboard to place distance between us.
"I know what you are going through" Talow breathed and hung around the enterance while I picked up his bag to keep filling it "I wasn't just born into this position. I had to struggle for it too. I was just like you; scared and confused."
I rolled my eyes.
"I'm not scared or confused."
"That you have something like that in you now?" Talow questioned.
He took a deep breath and let it go while I continued to pack.
"I was" he whispered.
Hold on.
I put back the can I was holding and saw Talow standing there so unsure of himself, gripping the shirt where his heart was, with his vulnerability showing.
"What do you mean?" I frowned back and took a step towards him "you were....?"
"It's dark" he mumbled "and, honestly, it still scares me when I'm alone. You have no idea of what to do or how to get back while those things swarm all around you. I know."
He had been there too?
I picked the can back up, only to shelve it again as my mind refused to co-operate.
"Why are you telling me this? To try and get me to be comfortable around you and spill out all my secrets so you can tell them to Eagle?"
"It's nothing like that!" he insisted and sighed "when I saw you with Solanine, I knew you'd be infected with his disease; a virus really" he added with a smile to himself "the Base self-sacrificed years ago to try and infect a select few to test the waters before strengthening thier numbers. Solanine was one of them."
"Go on" i narrowed my eyes at him in uncertainty as I got my brain to finally co-operate with my hands.
"The virus can protect you from anything. If it doesn't kill you, it makes it so it is near impossible. That sort of strength is what I was given by my family; the same ones the Base used to give it to Solanine. The virus is what killed me."
"But it didn't kill me when I was given it?"
Talow shook his head.
"Half-half" he said and passed over another bag "you were one of the lucky ones."
I sure felt like it.
"None of them know I died" Talow continued "and I kept it that way. I was already being turned on for what I was; I didn't need this making it worse for me."
I raised an eyebrow at the Soul leaning there so meekly.
"What are you?"
"Eagle's blood and glory" he grimmaced back, backing up when my eyes grew wide.
My mind melted again. It refused to let me drop the packet of pasta, instead just moving it back and forth as I struggled to form a sentence.
"His son?!" I finally choked out and threw the pasta into the bag, shattering it.
I had opened myself up to this guy and now I had really shot myself in the foot by talking to his mother-fucking son of all people!
"Amongst other things" he tried to smile "but that's the main one, yeah."
"Fuck" I breathed.
"You're telling me" he smiled and wedged inside the cupboard to help grab the last of the food "when I saw that you were in the same situation I was in with the virus and the death, I knew you were going to be dealing with a lot of things by yourself. I've been there, Xy, and I know how much it sucks. All I want is for us to stick together and be friends."
Friends? With his son? That was a risk I didn't want to take just now.
"I know you tried to shoot him" Talow said when he hauled up one bag and I took the other "the bullet hole and brains on the wall after you left kind of gave it away. I'm not mad, just amused that you were so forward about it."
"I don't know what I was thinking" I dropped my eyes to the ground when he heaved up more bags into his hands "didn't know he could do that."
Talow chuckled and started for the stairs while I slipped the TV under my arm and caught up to him.
"How about we not think about it over some cup noodles tonight? Eight o'clock?" Talow suggested "I've got a really good spot I like to sit at when I've got some time. We can call it....'scouting' if you want to. We can really unwind since it'll be just us two."
"You want to show me your demon?"
Talow stopped at the door with a cheeky grin.
"I'll show you mine if you show me yours?"
I snorted at him and shrugged.
Why not? It didn't seem like Talow had any malicious intent behind his plans. Besides, we'd both by protected by the virus we shared if something were to happen.
With someone who had been through what I had, maybe I could find a way to see how to make this spider come out too? Talow had to know something with his expertise.
This could be fun. And noodles were involved. That was free food.
"Tonight it is then" I agreed happily, stepping back out into the Base to eagerly start counting down the time to our meeting.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
