Bodies were already gathered around the front door when I got up the next morning to try and get a headstart before anyone else noticed I was leaving with someone outside the family.
A deep twisting in my gut demanded food, but I decided to head to meet Oxalis. I could get some later if I needed to.
Unfortunately, Oxalis was the polite one to knock on the door, and he was early by fifteen minutes.
Talio, Sparrow, Plague, and Rush were blocking the way to the door while Carrion and Blight hung a bit further back. Thier eyes tracked me as I smiled appolagetically to them and darted to the barricade.
Shie wasn't to be seen, but neither were the rest of the family.
Defending closer to her room, perhaps?
I saw Arson camping on the bench of the kitchen, shaking the contents of a breakfast cereal straight from the packet into his mouth.
"Guys" I grunted when I tried to shove past the wall before me "move!"
"As I said, I'm with Phillius" Oxalis huffed on the other side "now let him out so we can get going. I don't have time to be hanging around like this."
"Then, leave" Sparrow retorted "we don't need you here."
I ducked to the side and jabbed Rush in the ribs so I could finally break free to stumble before Oxalis.
He gripped a strap to the backpack so tightly that his knuckles were white. He looked like he was ready to run at a moments notice with the way his body faced away from the door.
There was a woman hanging behind him who I hadn't seen before.
She wore a facemask and didn't take her eyes from the men gathered behind the door. I could see the whites of her eyes and hear laboured breathing.
She didn't dare to leave her place behind Oxalis although I could see the hems of her grey longs shaking. Her black hoodie was damp at the ends too.
"I'm here" I smiled up to Oxalis and straightened.
"I thought you already made the trade?" Sparrow snapped to me now "or did you just give them to him and forget about us?"
"Of course I didn't do that" I scoffed back to him folding his arms "that's why he's here. We are going to get it sorted."
"Better be big if it needs two of you" Plague commented.
"Why don't you go grab your Mission too?" Oxalis smiled to me "I've got mine. We can do them while we are out."
"What if it takes a few days?" I fretted immediately.
I could feel how tense everyone was behind me. Oxalis was really pushing his luck. He knew he could get away with it.
I didn't want to admit I hadn't even looked at it yet. Mine had been swapped around with who knew how many others that I didn't even know whose I had got.
Was it going to be a tough one?
"I'll go grab it."
Rush let me squeeze back around him before blocking the way again.
Carrion stormed over when I darted back towards the room, blocking me.
"What did you do?" he breathed down at me, his eyes checking on the door.
"I'm just going hunting with Oxy" I tried to shrug it off "I don't see what the big deal is."
"We needed food yesterday" he hissed now "you can't just be pushing these things aside because you didn't feel like doing it."
"Shut up" I rolled my eyes at him and bolted into the room to search the cabinet opposite the bed for the manila folder "I had a plan and I did it! What more do you want from me?"
Carrion leant on the doorframe to scowl at me in my hunt for the Mission.
"We need food" he snapped.
"And I'm getting that for you" I hissed back "weren't you listening?"
I found the yellow cover slipped underneath a drawer of socks I yanked out. It had a dog-eared corner, but I wasn't going to wonder about something like that.
"Everyone else had to go hunting" Carrion continued and didn't move when I shrunk before him "even Shie. You put her in danger because you wanted to sleep on it."
I ducked around Carrion with the folder before bravery came back. I wasn't going to fight him while backed in a corner.
"What do you want me to do?" I moaned out to him and marched back to the barricade "I'm on it!"
Carrion marched after me and seized my arm in his so he could shove me against the wall beside the open door.
The others parted and I saw Oxalis just standing there. He was surprised but didn't step in to stop me, even when I looked to him.
"Don't dawdle, or I'll come after you, Phillius" Carrion sneered and let go of my pinned arm to lean over me "you hear me?"
I nodded and slid around the edge of the door to stand in embarrassment before Oxalis.
"Good luck" Rush muttered to me.
I saw Talio was remaining silent. His hard stare focused on me, then Oxalis and the woman.
"Don't be late" he only spoke before he closed the door.
I cringed at the coldness and felt Oxalis place a hand on my shoulder.
"Rough crowd" he squeezed me "don't take it to heart."
"Yeah" I tried to smile it away, but couldn't shake how Talio had been looking at me.
Like I was an enemy to him.
And the way Carrion had humiliated me and no-one had stepped in. Even Oxalis saw his threats and didn't say anything.
Talio let him do it. He should have said something. I should have said something.
I eyed the backpack that was bulging and peeked at Oxalis who glanced at me from the corner of his eyes.
"Are you expecting to be gone for a while?" I spoke up.
He smiled as he shook his head and carefully hoisted it up while holding the bottom. He pushed the woman to keep her moving.
"We'll get to the cars and then go over the details, OK?"
Right. Eyes and ears everywhere.
I looked back to Eagle's office to see the window was covered. At least he wasn't here to watch me leave.
But he could still hear me? Even amongst everyone else? He said himself that it was like a constant buzzing.
"After you" Oxalis pushed open the tunnel for me and the scared woman.
I took the lead and waited for the light to be snapped out before starting up again.
"We'll grab a car and head from there. Get lots of area covered."
"A car?" I tried to keep the surprise out of my voice.
What was I expecting? Oxalis couldn't split his Skin like me directly into a demon. He has just a host for his own.
When was the last time I had been in a car? When I had let Solanine take me out and make me his mate?
That seemed like so long ago. I really had been lucky I hadn't made it official between us.
I let Oxalis and the woman pass me when I opened the exit and stepped aside to close it.
"We have to rule out fields around here and go further out" Oxalis spoke "but first, I'd like to get Ruin and Hunt sorted."
"They're here?"
They must have been hiding in the Skins. That would explain the scared woman suddenly showing up out of nowhere.
And the bag....
"How many in there?"
I could see Oxalis get defensive over the question. His body tensed up and he switched to carrying the bag in his arms instead.
The must be small if he could fit them in there to begin with.
"Are they sick too?" I questioned and rushed over to walk beside him "because of the meat?"
"No, no" he smiled to me forcibly "they aren't old enough for that yet. We're going to give them a place where they can be safe."
"Away from the Base" I realised.
He nodded and looked to the woman.
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We all picked our way through the undergrowth to the cars nestled between the trees. I saw Solanine's choice here and decided not to take chances with it. I didn't need him trying to hunt me down after that.
It was a miracle he hadn't found me hiding amongst the family yet. He had to be waiting to spring me by surprise in the Base again.
I had Oxalis with me. I'd be fine with him to help me.
Then again, he hadn't the first time. I got dragged out of his room and he actually helped unhook me so Solanine could drag me away easier.
Oxalis took the drivers side and motioned for me to take front passenger. The woman climbed into the back obediently and strapped herself in while still holding fear in her eyes.
"Hold this" Oxalis held the bag out to me "please be gentle."
I went to take the bag but his arm jerked back towards himself. He sighed in frustration and held his arm out back towards me while keeping it steady.
I snorted at his struggle and tried to pull the bag towards me but his grip on it was insane.
I saw Oxalis' mouth start dribbling blood but kept at trying to pull the bag free.
"Nothing is going to happen, Ru" the woman finally spoke.
Oxalis released the bag so promptly that I almost smashed it into the handbrake.
He turned in his seat to peer at the woman blankly.
"Have you got it under control?"
"She's a tough one, but it's me for now" the woman replied with a huff and smile as she leant back.
Her red eyes locked onto mine and her smile slipped to a glare.
"I'll look after my babies" she held her hands out to me "here."
I passed the bag over and watched the woman open it so she could beem at the contents inside.
Oxalis grinned to the woman and finally got the car into drive. He reversed out while the woman cooed to the bag and rolled up the sleeves of her hoodie to show that they had already been previously slit along her arm.
She reopened the wound and offered her blood to the bag where rising cries for it sounded and noisy sucking followed.
Oxalis slapped my leg to get me to face the front again.
"With our hunt for food, I think we can shelve that until we get Hunt and the babies to a safe place of thier own."
Instantly, panic gripped me and fear clawed my stomach.
"We can't! I have to be back!"
"And they said they already sent people out" Oxalis replied casually "relax. We'll just tell them we had to go a bit further out to find thier food. All the fields nearby are poisoned anyway."
"They'll find out" I sank down into the seat "jeez, Carrion will kill me if I don't come home tonight."
"I think he'd rather you not come back until you have something" the woman spoke up "looked that way earlier."
"She's got a point" Oxalis smiled to me "wouldn't you want to be the one who tirelessly searched and found what you wanted? Or come back with nothing because you couldn't wait for us to do this one thing?"
"You made an Oath on it" the woman said sternly.
"To not tell anyone about this" I circled my finger at her and scowled to Oxalis "and you said you'd help us."
"Which I'm doing" he said "after my thing. Then after we find good grounds, we'll smash out those Missions and head back."
I couldn't believe this. My family would starve while Oxalis wasted time trying to find somewhere nice to dump this new host and thier bag of babies.
He thought this was all some fun outting. He didn't know or didn't care how serious this was to me.
I could have gone alone if I knew this was going to happen.
The knot in my stomach twisted tighter and made me feel sick. The wave of nausea rolled up my spine before stabbing into my chest and settling somewhere there.
I didn't know if that was from me or Shie.
"Just make it quick" I moaned out before choosing to peer out the window instead of the company I was stuck with.
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Choosing to sleep rather than watch nothingness made the trip fly by.
Before I knew it, I was waking up to pounding on the car and Oxalis opening my door to almost make me fall out.
"Did you think I'd do all the hard work for you?" he joked and slapped my head with his Mission folder.
I blinked back and dragged my own up from the ground where it had scattered, shoving all the papers back inside so I could get out and stretch my cramped body.
The pain in my stomach was still the same as before. Rather than getting worse, it had simmered slightly to a throbbing burn.
At least Shie had been successful.
Long grass surrounded the car that was parked on top of a hill. I could see the tracks where we had been steered off-road and climbed the slope spanning off into vast fields of nothing.
I could see animals in the grass poking thier heads up from grazing. Birds flew overhead in thier formations, and the sound of babbling water trickled in the soft breeze.
Hunt stood there in her natural form of pure muscle and bone. Ruin was beside her to survey the landscape with a smile on his face. At their feet were six babies laid in the grass, blindly snuffling along the dirt.
The woman could be seen as a speck in the distance back down the hill, running past the creek I spotted twisting it's way through the grass.
"It's good here" Oxalis breathed out a happy sigh "we can kill a few of these creatures for ourselves and let Hunt make a home around here where the Base can't get to her."
She beemed down at her babies then approached Oxalis so she could rub her face on his.
"Thank you" she mumbled to him "you've been way too kind to someone like me after everything."
Oxalis rubbed her head and smiled at her. I could see it wavouring with tears when he nodded.
"Go scout the area, I'll do the hunting" Ruin told Hunt with a push into her side before pausing to peer at us "get a fire setup; we'll eat wherever Hunt makes her nest."
"We aren't sleeping here" I frowned to Oxalis while Hunt left us to stand guard over her babies "I need to get back."
The sky was already beginning to grow cool from the onset of night. I could see the sun considerably lower and the bottoms of the clouds stained with darkness.
The family would be furious. Shie and the rest would return and I'd still be out here for no reason.
Talio would lose all faith in me. Maybe he'd give up on me completely if I didnt return tonight?
I sighed at the sky and the situation i had been dragged into.
"It'll be fine" Oxalis waved a hand and poked me "for a family so willing to beat you up, you sure are keen to head back there so quickly."
"I'd make them wait" Ruin snorted from the babies he lingered by before leaving them to join us while we dawdled along to the trees further away to our right for tinder "and I wouldn't be there taking shit from them either. You have to stand up for yourself."
"He's got a point" Oxalis added "you did get thrown around a bit back there for nothing."
I stayed quiet, knowing if I responded that I'd have nothing good to say at all. Whispers of that might come back into the family, and then they'd really let me know how they felt.
"They just have different ways of saying they are worried" I tried to find the good in it all.
Oxalis looked to Ruin who shook his head at me.
"That's abuse."
"No better than what you dealt with through Solanine."
No, Solanine was much worse. I wasn't scared when I was with this family.
But, Carrion had made me feel those familiar feelings when I tried to get around him and when he was holding me to the wall.
And the way Talio looked at me was almost the same way Solanine used to when I wasn't interesting to him anymore.
Didn't he want me anymore? Over some stupid hole in my hand I had sworn to?
"Are you ok?" Ruin frowned to me while we kept walking towards the treeline.
I tried to shake it off and smile but even I knew that was slipping.
"It might not be so bad to take our time" I replied with a light shrug "there's fourteen others to go hunting; they wont even know I'm gone."
"That's the spirit!" Oxalis grinned and shook my playfully "we'll set up a great fire and go over our Missions together. I can even run to town and grab some food. You aren't allergic to anything?"
I shook my head.
The last time I had done anything like this was when I first met Talio. I had still been alive then and so damn dumb. That felt like such a long time ago.
Would this be another mistake? Oxalis didn't seem like the kind of guy who wanted to send me back to the darkness or hurt me. He just looked like a silly, excited guy looking forward to sitting around a fire under the stars.
That did sound nice. No distractions. No Ransom or Shie, just us and calm.
I dragged in a breath to let out the stress after savouring the fresh air.
Ruin reached the trees before us and helped drag out the bigger branches while both Oxalis and me trudged in opposite directions to throw out the smaller sticks into the clearing.
"You know, you could always come by ours when you want to" Oxalis called out to me "you don't need the others telling you what to do. There will be space if you ever want to hang or go over details together. Ruin is always up for anything involving a bit of blood."
I saw the demon smirk at this, seizing the end of the branch in two arms so he could heave it back with his other two powering onwards.
"I don't want to be a hassle... " I trailed off while throwing more sticks.
I did, but I didn't want to flare up anything between Oxalis and Ruin by making it seem I was swooping in to replace Hunt and thier family.
"No hassle" Oxalis snorted back and crunched over twigs to pick around my area "I think it's nice having you around. You aren't like the others."
"Tough?" I muttered and dropped my eyes.
"An arsehole" Oxalis replied and slapped my legs with the stick he tossed "I've already got one of those to deal with."
I chuckled with him and actually felt myself truly relaxing. Even with Ransom, I was watching for something to happen. With Oxalis, I knew it wasn't.
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With our arms bundled, we returned to the place near the car where Ruin had broken the branch into smaller segments to pile them up. Our sticks were shoved into the gaps and Oxalis rushed to lean into the car and pull out our folders to pass to me. He also clutched a burning cigarette lighter.
"We can burn the folders" he grinned while jabbing the lighter into the corner of his "the paper inside is all we need."
Ruin eyed the fire warily and clamped his jaws around the remaining baby in the grass to start the search for Hunt and the others she must have moved in our distraction.
She sure was quick. I couldn't see her anywhere around here.
"They'll be fine" Oxalis soothed me, stuffing the cardboard into the sticks to try and spread the fire "Hunt will already have a spot laid out and everyone fed. She's a good mum."
Oxalis's smile was sad again. He took my folder I passed him to promptly light that too and stuff it around the other side.
"I..." I hesitated, not knowing if words of support should be said here, or if it would be rubbing salt in the wound "...i think you'd be a great dad one day."
"Thanks" Oxalis lightened up then sat near the fire, patting the grass beside him "one day, I hope I get there. Preferably not in the Base"
"Fuck that" I laughed with him "I wouldn't be able to keep a kid quiet in there."
How did that work anyway with my children? Did they just come out as spider spawn and remain that way forever? Or did they grow thier own human skin after a few years?
Would someone just find a bunch of babies abandoned in the woods somewhere and try to investigate? Would they even be babies?
I had no idea. I should have asked one of the others how this all worked with me Bonding to Shie.
I shuddered at the thought of Shie having hundreds of spiders bursting from her skin like I did. Hopefully, mine were kind to her and didn't cause that sort of pain.
I didn't feel it in my gut. The hunger was a dull gnaw now that it had been sated on Shie's side. My own was stirring within at the glimmer of fire and hunting grounds behind us.
"With this..." Oxalis leant over to me to pluck his papers out so he could share them "...I need to find some person and drag them back to the Base. Seems easy enough."
He peeled off a photo to study it closely, grinning at the woman's face that beemed back.
"I had that with Talio" I snorted at the photo "the guy sure gave me a run-around for a few days."
And made me doubt everything I thought I knew about myself and him.
"What about you?" Oxalis breathed at my Mission while tucking the photo back into his sheets "who do you need to bring back?"
I rolled my eyes and flipped the papers.
"I've got to head to the Wall..." I spoke through my smile that faded instantly "...and bring back a count of the dead."
"Ooh, shit" Oxalis hissed as he cringed to me "you've got a crap one there."
It wasn't even mine! I didn't fold the corners of my folders like that or keep them so hidden.
I must have dug up Ransom's in my wild hunt through the sock drawer.
I wasn't going to take it back. He was already suffering enough without having to hunch over to count bodies.
I could suck it up and do it instead.
"It can't be that hard" I waved it aside "just count people on the ground and write it down. It'll be fine. They've even given me two days to do it."
There couldn't be that many. I'd be in and out in an hour, maybe two or three.
Besides, isn't that where Tooth had gone to? His Mission sent him there and I hadn't seen him since.
My heart sank.
Maybe he was one of them? Someone I had to report back as dead?
He was such a nice guy. Wierd, but funny.
"You'd have your family fed at least" Oxalis mused.
The reward was at least a grand. It would be more than enough to buy meat for everyone and save them picking potentially poisoned creatures.
There was even a little number thirty-five down the bottom and a few rows of Soul Stealer names beside it.
"They wouldn't even know they were missing" he continued "You could go there, count the dead, and skim some off the top..."
"The bodies?!" I blurted out and tore my eyes from the names to recoil "I'm not eating people!"
"And who says it has to be people?" he insisted "lots of beasts will be there too. Parts go missing in wars all the time."
I chuckled at his absurd idea and grabbed one of the sticks to jab the fire.
"It's not a war."
Oxalis raised an eyebrow and tilted his head.
"What do you think it is then? Sending people up there to do what? Guard a big concrete wall just for show?"
"I don't even know what is going on up there" I shrugged back, jabbing harder "I'm just the one who has to go count a bunch of people."
"Phillius" Oxalis placed a hand on my shoulder and looked sternly into my eyes "I can see you darting around the idea, but I'm trying to make you see how it would benifit your family."
"Im not eating dead people" I scowled back.
"And I'm telling you to just take the parts that aren't human. The family doesn't need to know where it came from, they just need food."
He was so serious about this. No matter how much I tried to deny it and explain my reason, Oxalis was adamant that this was for the best.
"They won't even know" he repeated and turned from me so he could take the stick from me and prod the other side of the fire "you'd be set in an instant."
"How about we switch then?" I held my papers out to him "you go 'skim' all the dead people and I go hunting for the girl. You seem like you want to do it more than me."
His nose wrinkled at me and he shook his head in disbelief.
"I'm keeping my Mission. You need to suck it up and do what is right. You really want everyone to starve because you can't bear to take what is just going to waste anyway? They're probably up there right now, stripping the bones off the bodies."
They wouldn't do that. Anyone who died was treated honourably. There'd be graves and headstones for every single one of them.
I'd prove Oxalis wrong when I went there. He'd hear how wrong he was and how everyone was buried with respect.
I had no choice anyway. I had to finish what I started.
"You should have teamed with Talow. He'd have you up there in an instant and seeing what needs to be done. I wouldnt have to waste time taking you."
I looked to the giant wall atop the mountains in the distance. It ran perfectly along the top, stretching for the sky with its sheer size.
"It'll take all day to even getting close to that thing by car" Oxalis heaved a sigh "and fuel isn't exactly cheap. I'll be lucky to get mine done after dropping you off."
I couldn't impede on Oxalis like that. He had helped me out too much for me to turn around and make him fail his Mission before he had even started it. He'd have to face Eagle and his wrath. I didnt want to send him to that.
Bubbles burst in my gut as I got an idea that could help us both.
"How long would it take to get to the wall if I Turned?"
He looked at me in confusion.
"Depends on the form. Demons have a lot of stamina, so you could easily get up there in two, maybe three, hours if you just went for it" he paused, looking me up and down "you're a demon? I was sure you didn't have one when you helped me with those bones."
"Is that the last time we hung out?" I frowned back.
That was before I went on the Mission to find Talio. Before my skin had been eaten off my bones and I had died.
"I didn't back then" I snorted at my old self "but things happen. I'm changed now."
Oxalis looked me over with a sly grin.
"Sure... The same guy who couldn't spit properly and was all grossed out about a tiny bit of deer meat? Looks like nothing is different."
Oxalis cried out in happiness when I tore out a stick from the fire to try and prod him with it. He smacked his on mine to bat it away, laughing while he danced away from me.
I hit his shins just as he got my hand I shook to try and release the sharp pain.
"En guarde, foul beast!" he teased, jabbing my side "come at me!"
Oh, I could do that.
Quickly, Oxalis' face fell when I focused on Turning. Instead of thinking about Talio, like I had with all my previous ones, I enviosoned myself.
I didn't need Talio to help me change. I was already acheiving so much, and he wasn't here to see or appreciate it.
"Jesus, fuck" Oxalis breathed up at me "a damn spider?"
"A damn spider" I grinned back, turning to gloat a little about my form.
I thought I was beautiful.
"You know, Hunt liked to collect the spines of your kind" Oxalis smirked to me "hard to get. I think it was mainly the thrill of it all."
I shrugged. I didn't care about what she had done to bring herself joy. It didn't affect me or 'my kind'.
I was only using this form, that's all. It's not like I was attached to it or felt sadness for it.
"You should get going" Oxalis tilted his head to the Wall "before Ruin sees you and tries to take your spine for her."
I chuckled and smiled back to him.
"Go on" he waved his hand "really. Before he comes back, for real."
His tone was still light but I could see there was seriousness behind his playful words.
I could wait for food until I got there. I had a Mission to smash out so I could get back.
Oxalis tucked my folder under one of my broken arms I had nestled under myself. His hand lingered, feeling my fur there.
He looked impressed and disgusted. His fingers pulled away before he smiled back up at me.
"Meet back at yours when you come home?" he asked "you helped me; maybe I can help you with your family problems?"
That would be nice. Maybe he'd be able to make some of the others take me seriously?
"Ill see you when I get back" I beemed at his hand pressed to my arm in farewell before pulling away to start my trek to the Wall reaching up to the bright sky.
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