The glorious sprint to freedom I had been imagining for those hours trapped on the couch were nothing alike in reality.
It was a tense moment when I could finally separate and gather up my pants to pull them on through my tears.
Then it was a slow hobble out of the room and down the stairs. Each jolt as I lowered myself down shot straight through me and only made my sobs break through my whines.
I used the closed doors to guide me for that ramp in the distance. It bobbed closer, inch by inch, when I forced myself on.
I didn't know how far I was going to get, but I didn't care. I was going to keep heading straight until I couldn't anymore. Anywhere away from this hell hole.
Footsteps slapped behind me. They were bare and pounded along the concrete level I inched along.
Solonine caught up to me to pass me an icebrick, a bottle of water, and a slip of painkillers.
"Fuck off" I slapped them away, wiping my eyes that blinded me to the ramp "I don't need your help."
I did. But I wasn't going to accept it from him and make it look like I needed anything from him.
"I can take you back" he lowered his voice as he walked beside me, holding out the painkillers again "just take it. They keep the cars covered outside. Let me take you to one."
Glaring, I snatched up the painkillers and checked the back for the inscription stating what they were.
They were legit.
I popped out two and snatched up the water he held out next for me, downing the whole bottle that crumpled with each noisy guzzle.
"This can wait until you are in the car" he held up the icebrick and waggled it with a small grin "I'm going to carry you there. Get on."
He held out his arms that I turned from, hobbling past him.
"I can get there fine on my own" I snapped.
"It's night" he sighed back "and you've barely made a scratch. Just bite the bullet and get on, idiot."
He was trying to play it off like we were friends. His voice was calm and casual in repsponce to my acidic tone lashing back at him.
I wanted him to be hurt as much as i was, but he looked fine. Walking around like he hadn't just spent the last four hours glued to me.
"Either I can drain every last breath from you again" he spoke as he followed me "or you can get in my arms and let me carry you to the damn car."
The last place I wanted to be was anywhere near him. I kept going before realising how true his words were. One of his strides easily covered my tiny distance pulling myself along.
"It's night" he repeated again "you don't want to be out at night."
The place was dead. That was the second time I had been warned about this place at night. I couldn't even tell that it was since all of this area was closed in.
How could Solonine know? Was he just trying to trick me?
He leant forwards to grab me and force me into his arms. I smashed my fist into his chest that he just held and lowered into my lap so he could press the icebrick into it.
"Now, it's going to be a few hours drive" he stated as he walked along the empty Base with me held close in his arms "we will most likely have to sleep together. You going to be OK with that?"
Looks like I wasn't going to get any sleep tonight either.
Fucking perfect.
I just remained silent. Solonine took this as an answer and didn't pry into it.
He was cautious with his movements while carrying me. He knew I was in pain and did everything not to cause more. It didn't make me hate him any less for what he had done, but it was a nice gesture not to feel like I was splitting in half whenever we went over an uneven slope or almost fumbled over tree roots on our way to the concealed cars.
They were where I had seen them last time on my Mission back with Verge and Oxalis. 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpm5axh9Y0C
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Dark tarps with leaves thrown over the top formed mountains amongst the trees.
Solonine went for one at the edge and peered under it before setting me down and yanking the tarp free to roll it up.
He ducked into the driver's side to inspect the middle console for money that he pulled out to count before reaching in for a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.
It was the same pristine car I had ended up in the boot of to be bought here. Despite being covered in crap, it didn't even have a scratch on it.
Solonine valued this ordinary car. He took pride in it more than he did with me.
"Get in" he jerked his head as he bit down on a cigarette and cupped his hands around the end as he lit it and took a thankful drag "put the ice pack down first and sit on it."
It was a weird request, but I had been expecting it to be for something to soothe my shooting pain. I wedged my body over it and recoiled at the freezing cold brick burning through my pants and into my arse cheeks.
Solonine blew out a breath and leant down to watch me.
"Comfortable?"
I felt like a nervous kid waiting to be taken somewhere by thier silently seething parent. A few times I had done just this; waited in the car while Mum dragged on her cigarette and chatted to whatever stranger she was trying to coax into stalking for a relationship.
Urgh. I was thankful I was old enough now to be free of that torment.
"I'm thinking drive-through tonight. We should get nuggets like the first time we met. Do you like nuggets?"
A drive-through. Maybe someone would recognize me and ring the cops. I'd be home while Solonine was charged for his assault on me.
I nodded.
If he was going to overlook how risky it all was, I was going to take advantage of his oversight.
"And a chocolate thickshake" I added hopefully with a weak smile.
Food was the last thing on my mind. But if I kept him in that drive-through for longer, someone would recognize me.
If he wanted to act like we were suddenly friends, then I would play into that.
We were friends. Only until someone saved me from him.
"Yes!" Solonine slammed his hand down on the roof to make me jump "you've got the right idea, Baby Bird!"
That damn nickname again. I just forced the smile again and watched Solonine stub out the cigarette on the roof of the car, swipe off the ash, then climb inside.
We were friends. Play the part. Don't make him doubt you.
Oh, God.
"Th...."
His eyes darted to me as he started the car and swung a hand over my chair so he could reverse it around the others still covered.
"Thank you" I bit out "for... for the ice pack."
Solonine smirked, throwing the car into gear and steering it onto a gravel road leading away from the hidden Base.
I wasn't in the back of the boot now. I'd know exactly how to get back here now. I could lead the cops right here and fuck up the whole thing they had going on in thier Base underground.
That did make me smile.
"I remember when I wanted to get out of there too" Solonine chuckled at my smile out the window "thought I did too. People call it thier home, but I know that shithole isn't home, not to me anyway."
I didn't care. But I had to make him think I did. Keep the conversation going.
"You know, things would have... changed" he went on with a glance to my Band "people don't see who had it. All they see is some criminal. There's nothing else anymore."
"Is that why you are taking me back?" I snorted as realization hit me "so I can go there and see how people treat me? My own mother wouldn't turn me away because I have some new bracelet now."
He knew what he was doing. He wanted me to be shunned so I would go crawling back to him.
So I would have to rely on him to survive in that underground prison.
What a fucking sly prick.
"My mum won't even know I'm gone" I shook my head in disbelief at how true that would be "she probably thinks I've been at some sleepover or some shit. If anything, work is the only place who knows I'm gone."
"Seriously?" Solonine coughed out, trying to compose himself "I'm sorry, but that's fucked up! You were in the back of a boot for hours, missing for days, didn't come home or call or anything, and she would still think you are with friends? And your damn workplace is the only place that cares because you missed a few shifts? Come on!"
"Seriously!" I laughed back until I caught myself getting too comfortable and hardened again.
He was good. Playing the part of a friend that I didn't have. Watching me slip...
"Do you think she'd take you back?"
I was caught by surprise. I frowned at Solonine who kept driving, only glancing to me as he waited for an answer.
"It's my mum" I snorted and rolled my eyes "nothing about me has changed."
Solonine looked to my Band again and focused on driving.
He didn't stop until we hit a drive- through several hours later for nuggets and thickshakes.
No-one recognized me. They didn't even care; only that the order on the screen was correct and that we could keep moving along.
They didn't give a shit when I wanted them to most. Only dead eyes and ingrained speeches met me for a few moments to do thier job and continue on.
I had been the same once.
Solonine took us to an overlook leaning over the ocean. There was a road that curved back onto the main one here, running along the beachside below.
Flashing red lights from the breakwall out at the ocean were the only things other than the stars in the sky. The black waves crashed onto the strip of beach below that Solonine looked over from the roof of his car. 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQaPYtjBGf
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1FLQYhFZP
I sat on the hood, enjoying my first breaths of salty ocean air and the cool breeze that fluttered it around me.
It wasn't stale like the air back at the Base. I could hear the swirling waves and see the sky above me.
There was no urgency here. I didn't need to run since I was already being taken home. I didn't need to worry about hunting down police since I could easily call them to me once I got a hold of my mothers phone.
All the other chances at an earlier freedom had passed me, but I just had to be patient. Help was waiting for me at home.
Solonine had been aware of my needs too. He didn't deprive me of toilet breaks whenever I needed them, or other breaks to stretch my legs and give him a chance to smoke outside. 104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVh7G6M7YI
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH72tVnkgUS
I was comfortable. Even when the brick was no longer frozen beneath me, and I had my fill of painkillers and water, Solonine made sure I was ok.
Maybe in some other time we could have met in better circumstances. Perhaps as he passed through my register and I asked him for his rewards card and if he wanted a bag.
So stupid.
I snorted at the idea and bit down into my crispy nuggets.
Nothing would ever be that mundane again. Not after having Solonine stalk me and claim me like so me damn animal.
But, he was, wasn't he? A monster just playing the part of a human.
I felt his shoe nudge my back and turned to see him slid down the roof to grin at me.
"After we are done, you can have a sleep. I'll keep watch."
Keep watch? For what?
I looked around, chuckling at how empty it was.
"What are you watching for?"
"You know" he shrugged, climbing back up to the roof to pull out a cigarette and light it, blowing out the smoke above himself "monsters, muggers, molesters, and what-not."
"Monsters" I muttered as I turned back to my food "molesters."
He did realise he was those exact things?
"You'll sleep in the back" he said now "and I'll sleep beside you."
Ah, shit. There was no escaping him. I was hoping he'd take the front; something to give me a bit of distance from him.
"Hurry it up" he nudged me again "i want us to keep going in a few hours."
So demanding. He sure flipped from friendly to serious quickly. It seemed like everyone in that Base did the same thing when they found themselves slipping as well.
Was Solonine trying to not slip up in front of me? The same thing I was trying not to do with him?
"Come on" he grunted now when he stubbed out his smoke and flicked it from the car "time to get inside."
He wasn't going to let me enjoy myself this time. I slid down with my food and drink cradled in my arms and watched Solonine open up the boot to rummage around inside.
I was already claiming the furthest corner when the boot slammed and Solonine slid into the back, locking the doors.
He held out a jacket towards me that I stuffed under my head. He covered us in a thick grey blanket and slid over so he was pressed beside me.
"I'm not going to hurt you" he soothed when I flinched against him.
"You already have" I mumbled back, turning from him.
One arm wrapped around me to hold me close. He kept his eyes on the front window as he curled up beside me under the blanket.
"Just get some rest" he mumbled back "I'll keep you safe."
From what? Himself?
I kept my back to him and slept with my hands between my legs, gripping my pants under the blanket.
Solonine was still watching the front windshield when I woke again.
His arms was still around me, not having left my side he still curled against.
The windows were fogged up from our body heat trapped inside. I groggily swiped away some of it to peer outside, only to find my reflection.
It was still night.
"Haven't you slept?" I yawned.
I wasnt worried for him, only concerned at how he was going to get me home running on no sleep.
He didn't look tired when he pulled me into his chest so he could rub my back.
We were friends. We were friends.
Don't anger him. You won't win in a place like this.
He could feel how tense I was against him. This didn't stop him from rubbing his thumb on my seized back.
He liked like he wanted to say something. But when I peered up at him, he pulled away and tucked the blanket around me so he could climb over into the drivers seat.
I had nothing to say to him. He could stew in his thoughts while I stayed safe in the back seat.
Soon I would be home, then I could leave all of this behind me.
I knew the way back. I could send the police there while I went back to my job and became the gossip of the workplace.
What a pain that would be.
Nervousness and excitement bounced inside me when strange surrounds soon became familiar again.
The road I had been taken on, the roundabout leading out of town, the steep dip just a few meters from my house....
And then it was there. My home.
I had never felt happier to see the crowded doorway lined with whatever plant my mum had rescued from the local op shop. The wonky wooden boards on the outside were still the same run-down rotting wood covered by peeling baby blue paint that was now only streaks along the outside.104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UxENOPeuO
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOrKTcUzU9
I hated how neglected the place was, but seeing it now only made me want to cry with happiness.
I threw myself out the car and bolted for the front door to find it unlocked like it always was.
The house smelled like roasting meat and vegetables. The hint of spices lingered with each breath as well as the sharp tinge of bayleaf.
And there was Mum.
She was sitting on the couch in the small lounge room to my right.
Just seeing her there, watching her bulky box TV while knitting some obscene blanket with the ugliest clashing colours made all of my pain jerk through me and flow down my face.
I rushed over to wrap my arms around her and sob into her shoulder as she dropped her needles and held me.
She smelled like she always did; like cheap and dirty sage essential oils and starchy wool saved from the plastic bags of the op shops.
It smelled really nice. It was like I was taking a breath of fresh air since leaving the Base behind.
"Where were you?" she pulled me from her to look into my eyes "I had cops on my doorstep after your work rang them!"
"There's a guy in the car outside" I blurted back "he's from this Base place with all these people in there called Soul Stealer! Look! They put a thing on me! They have hundreds of them down there just like me, Mum! Kidnapped! Tortured!"
Her eyes grew wide when she saw the Band around my wrist. She pushed me away from her with a yelp and hid behind her chair, brandishing her knitting needless at me.
"You aren't my Birdie!" she jabbed them in my direction "you are one of them!"
"Mum! It's still me!"
She swiped at me when I approached, cowering behind the chair again.
"HELP!" she bellowed when I tried to go around the side of the chair to sheppard her out "HELP! SOMEONE IS TRYING TO ATTACK ME!"
"Mum!" I snapped now "listen to yourself! It's still me! Nothing has changed!"
She didn't want to hear it. She threw one of the needles at me, then the second so she could run down the hallway between the kitchen and lounferoom to her bedroom at the end, slamming the door.
"I'M CALLING THE POLICE!" I heard from her room.
"GOOD!" I snapped back when I threw open the door of my own room on the right side of the hallway to be instantly hit by the musty smell of used tissues and fermenting noodle juices "TELL THEM TO HURRY UP!"
My room was a damn mess. The shrine around my destroyed bed was untouched and how I left it. Clothes were crumpled over the bed and on the floor in the corner from where I had thrown them after work. There was my spare case of batteries, cleaning tools, and an extra case on the bedside table. My TV and gaming console on thier own bedside table had noodle cups and dirty dishes stacked underneath it, right beside the spread of games in thier cases.
First thing I did was throw open the window for some circulation. Then I marched to the kitchen to rip out a garbage bag from under the sink to take back to my room I kept open.
If cops were showing up again, I didn't want them seeing this. It was a miracle they didn't find it the first time Mum said they came around.
I had been saved, but by the skin of my teeth.
Why did I ever let it get this bad?
"You know, I was kidnapped, Mum!" I called out as I stacked the cups around the bed and tossed them into the bag that wafted the stench up "they burned out my car! Stole my clothes too and my phone!"
"And turned you into a criminal!" I heard her voice through the wall.
"They raped me!" I bit back as I hung my head out the doorframe to scowl at her closed door "twice! The same guy too! He's out there in the car right now! He's not even fucking human!"
I threw more noodle cups into the bag, gagging on the stink.
At least I was getting rid of it before someone else saw this shit. I didn't want to be the one the cops joked about after thier visit here.
As much as Mum was being a bitch right now, I didn't want her to be the woman whose name got dragged into my shameless mess.
What about my clothes? Did I need to pack? Was Mum going to let me stay?
I went to her door to softly knock on it.
"The cops are on their way!"
"Yeah, that's good" I muttered back "but...am I allowed to stay here still?"
I heard footsteps and saw the door open a fraction so I could see a sliver of her face peek out.
Her blue eye stared at me. It was so focused and judgemental, it made me uncomfortable.
"You are one of them" she replied "you can't stay here. You have to stay at their house."
"It..." I bit down on my anger "it's not a house. It's some sort of underground... dungeon... thing."
God, that sounded like a bunch of shit. How was she going to believe that when I wasn't even convinced at how it sounded coming from my own mouth?
"I know about them" she spoke back softly "I see them on the news. They are bad people. You are a bad person. They are going to come after me if I don't let them take you back."
For the first time, I heard her pain and fear. Her eye looked up at mine, glistening and fearful.
"You aren't my son. You need to leave. The cops will lock you up. You are a criminal."
The door shut. I knocked on it again, growing louder when desperation hit me.
I had nothing but my bedroom of clothes and little figures sat around my TV. All of my money had been taken from me when I had been kidnapped along with my ID. Accessing what I would have been paid from work wouldn't be possible without a card or something saying who I was so I could try and take it out at a banking branch.
I was stuck, and it hit me in the gut as forcefully as Solonine had.
The door opened only to have a hand poke out with a fifty doller note that shook it impatiently when I didn't take it immediately.
"It's all I have" Mum muttered "if you want to rob me, Soul Stealer, I have nothing valuable."
"Mum..." I blurted out, but was only met with the door closing again.
I needed to get my things. The cops were bound to be here any moment.
We didn't have police, so they would have to come from the next town which was half an hour away. But that's if they wanted to. We had called them before about noisy fights from our own nighbour, but it wasn't important enough in thier eyes.
They would be here though. This Band automatically meant I was a criminal now.
Stupid thing.
I was throwing my clothes into a garbage bag when I heard Mum's door open again. I didn't bother trying to apprehend her as she walked past with a glance at me trying to dump as much as i could into the bag.
She cried out only a few moments later as running feet made thier way to my door.
"What the fuck is taking you so long?!" Solonine's voice shook with anger in the hallway "you have to hurry it up!"
"You bought me back here" I replied without stopping to look at him "I could have been staying for all you know."
"So, did she toss you out, or do we need to sort it ourselves?"
I turned now to see him still standing there with a gun in his hand. The bag dropped from my hands and Mum whimpered when it was aimed at her down the hallway.
I couldn't see her but I could hear her clearly. She was scared for her life. Her son had just returned as a criminal, and now she was looking down the barrel of a gun in her own home.
"Y-you can't shoot her!"
Solonine peeled back the hammer at the top of gun, keeping his eyes firmly on me.
"She kicked me out!" I choked back and returned to stuffing clothes into the bag so he couldn't see how terrified I was "so will you just put that damn thing down?"
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Was he going to kill her?!
I glanced over just to be sure he had listened to me. He uncocked the gun and turned on the safety before sliding it into the back of his pants.
"What do you need?" he asked now when he barged into my room to help rip off clothes from thier hangers and stuff them down "cute setup. Even got a console. Should be fun to bring along and set up in my room."
I was shaking too much to even fight him on that. He was as calm as ever, not even rattled that he was about to take a life so easily just now.
"I'll steal you a new TV" he spoke as he tossed the cords into the bag with my clothes and tucked the console unde his arm "a bigger one than this shit. It'll be fun, Baby Bird."
'This shit' had been all I could afford with my pay. It was small and definately no flat screen. The screen on it had to be maybe twelve inches at the most. At the time, it had been a bargain for something that wasn't the box my mum still used.
"I think we are done here" he looked around when I darted over to swipe up my two favourite figures to dump in the bag I tied off "I'll get this to the car, you go get us some of that food. It smells good."
"We can't just threaten to kill my mum and then steal her things!" I blurted out when he picked up the clothes bag and I kept my rubbish one close "what is wrong with you?!"
"She's making dinner for you anyway" he shrugged his shoulders when he led the way through the hallway and to the loungeroom where Mum was "so its technically not stealing. Just stop crying about it and pack some into two containers. You don't mind, Birdie's Mum?"
"Just don't kill me!" she whimpered in her safe space behind the couch.
"She's lovely" Solonine grinned while I glared at him and rushed over to fill two containers from the stewing slow cooker.
"She's terrified" I bit back when I handed him the containers to juggle so I could pull her from behind the couch "Mum, it's OK. We're leaving now."
I hugged her trembling body close to mine. She didn't hug me back, only whimpering with each shallow breath.
"I love you" I whispered and kissed her on the cheek before pulling back to gaze at her "and I miss you already."
Her lips pulled up weakly and she finally rested her head on my shoulder, sobbing.
"I'm sorry."
"I am too" I whined back as my eyes burned again "I'm sorry I didn't come straight home."
Solonine gave a little cough, making me aware of our limited time.
"We really got to go" he muttered to me with a tap on my shoulder "say your goodbyes, you won't be back."
Was this really the last time I'd see her? I couldn't come back later just to see how she was? Share stories and enjoy her food over a dumb afternoon of nothing?
"You've got to go" Mum wiped my tears with her thumbs as she held my head in her hands.
I had to go.
"I love you, Mum" I tried to smile through my trembling lip as I picked up my rubbish bag and followed Solonine outside.
Mum stood by the crowded front door to watch me dump it in her bin and stand by the passenger side of the car Solonine was already tossing my things into.
"Birdie!" he slapped the roof to pull my gaze from the house "we don't have time!"
He didn't want to pull me from this moment by the sounds of his tone. He had to be the voice of reason and get us out of here.
We were criminals. The Bands automatically made us that.
I got into the car and waved stupidly out the window to my mum who just wrapped a hand around herself and waved back, watching us tear up the street and out of sight for the last time.
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