I was buzzing with energy when I marched towards the bloody door with Talio following along a few paces behind.
I felt like some sort of martyr storming off to save the family. I'd get food for them all and be pushed up as someone with value.
It was the closest I had got to something like this. Even when I worked, no matter how late I stayed back or extra days I put in, I wasn't seen as someone valued.
Just a number, as always.
"We are going to ace this" I grinned back to Talio "we're going to get so much for this."
"You make it sound like you are getting paid" Talio rolled his eyes with a smile.
"Might as well be!" I gushed "look at all this! We caught it and now we are going to trade it for something useful!"
Talio chuckled at me but still hung back to give me distance.
He widened it when I paused outside Oxalis' door and made sure I was looking presentable.
What was I doing? This wasnt some job interview. I was just meeting someone I barely knew and hadn't seen since his other half died.
Jeez. Maybe this should have waited until it didn't sound like I was begging him to take out poisoned meat.
I knocked on the door and looked around to see Talio was gone. He was already hiding somewhere I couldn't spot him.
I was still scanning the area when Oxalis opened the door and his wariness crept up into a smile.
"Thought you dropped off the face of the earth" he looked me up and down "good to see you are still here, although a little beat up."
"And you too!" I smiled back, leaning in to give him a sideways hug while he still hung in his doorway "how... are things?"
"You know" he shrugged "getting by."
He did look better than he had back then. It was good to just see that he hadn't been killed for such an open display of love for another soul.
Why had they kept him alive?
"So, who are you looking for?" Oxalis leant out to look around "you got someone watching me?"
He smiled slyly to me and I felt my gut clench.
Was he going to be offended about that? Did it seem like I didn't trust him?
"And what's with the dead birds?" he inspected them "is this a gift?"
"Oh! Uh..."
How did I tell him I wanted to trade them? I hadnt even thought to get him a gift or check to see how he was. That would have been the decent thing to do.
"We can chat inside?" he stepped aside and looked around again "your friend can come in too if they want?"
I looked with him but still couldn't see Talio anywhere.
I slid inside and Oxalis left the door open for a little while longer before closing it behind him.
Instantly, I saw Ruin and Hunt in thier corner of the room bristle up at seeing me look over to them.
Ruin had hunt covered with his body, the two of them trying to shield the little claws slipping on the floor around thier hands. I saw a tiny head bob around the hand, squeaking blindly while trying to explore.
"Babies!" I breathed in excitement, which only made Ruin snarl at me before his mouth siezed the body and repositioned it out of sight between them.
"Let go up here" Oxalis jerked a thumb upstairs and patted my shoulder to get me to move.
I was still bubbling inside at the sight of what Oxalis had been patiently waiting for.
But that meant the pregnancy test hadn't been for her demon after all....
My smile fell and Oxalis noticed the changed expression when he moved to let me pass him into the room.
"I'm sorry about back there" I mumbled to him "I should have known..."
"Oh, it's OK" his eyes dropped down and he forced his smile again while directing me to the table setup opposite the sink "so, what did you bring me?"
I laid the birds down gently and smoothed out the stray feathers.
"We need to trade" I breathed out "these are all poisoned, and I know you can tolerate it."
Oxalis leant over the table to frown at the pile between us.
"We need food" I tried not to sound desperate "someone poisoned the deer too and..."
Oxalis' eyes snapped to mine immediately.
"What were you doing hunting in our grounds anyway?" he sighed back, annoyed "I know those ones aren't any good. You could have seriously make yourself sick by touching what isn't yours."
"I wasn't the one wh...." I started to complain before I saw Oxalis' serious expression "can we trade? We need good meat."
"And I have none to give you" he shrugged, picking up a bird to drop it back down "like i said, all of ours are poisoned. Ruin and Hunt can make do with that, so it's not really a problem here. If you have a spare watering hole left laying around, I'll trade you fresh kills in a heartbeat. They need somewhere to Purge the poison from thier systems."
I didn't know if I had that to gamble away. I kept my mouth shut and looked to him for some sort of guidance on what I could do to make this trade benifit me.
"You have someone to test the meat?" he pointed "why not have them there before killing this many in the first place? And why do you need so many? It's only you and Solanine. He doesn't need this much."
He didn't know?
I frowned, backtracking to when we had last met when I was dodging Solanine and being the bag holder for the mushrooms Oxalis sawed off the wierd deers in that field.
For all he knew, I had crawled back to him. He didn't know I had been tied up and held hostage by Solanine. He didn't know I was hiding in the protection of a family trying to help me stand up against my fear while struggling to support them.
"It didn't work out" I only said.
Oxlais was silent but leant over to pat my shoulder again.
"Did he beat you?"
I looked down to my hands Oxalis was focused on and couldn't decide to agree or disagree.
He had hurt me, but I had done this to myself.
"I'd you need someone, I'm here" he came around the table to wrap his arms around me "your in good hands now? Not sleeping outside?"
"No" I chuckled at his concern "I'm fine. They're looking after me really well."
"You sure?" he grumbled and peeled from me to scan my face "because if you aren't, you can tell me."
Why was he so worried about me? I had got myself out of that mess and in with people who actually wanted me around.
The same people I was going to starve by not having anything to bring back.
My lip quivered when I looked at the pile, and Oxalis let me go so he could pull out a seat to lower me onto it.
"Talk to me" he urged "it's not about the birds, is it?"
Again, I didn't know what to do. There were so many things swirling inside me to make me crack like this.
"I'll listen" he inisited, heading to his kitchen sink to boil the kettle there and pull out two cups.
104Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB4vUcLCRe
Oxalis really did take in all my complaints about my life without judgment. About Solanine and the family and the situation right now.
He listened and nodded, his face stern the whole time over his cup.
I cried to him about everything I possibly could cry about, and immediately felt guilty by doing so.
Oxalis had lost so much. My whole sob-story sounded like nothing compared to what he had been through.
I was using him as my dump, and I hated it.
"Being shoved into a situation like that can't be easy on anyone" he spoke and grabbed my cup so he could move to tip out the cold Chai Tea and replace it with something hot "I know I felt the same way when I first met Ruin. I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't know if the voice inside me was me going insane, or someone playing tricks on me. You don't have one voice, but a whole tonne of them all telling you different things at the same time."
"And I'll get this feeling thing too when the Bond kicks in" I grunted and slumped back in my seat "i won't even know what is me anymore."
Oxalis smirked, placing my cup down and taking his seat again.
"Bug spray will sort all your problem out."
I almost choked on the spicy Chai I sipped, snorting.
"You know I can't do that!" I gasped out with a laugh.
"It's there" he laughed back "maybe they'll do that swirly thing spiders do when you hit them with a whole lot of spray."
We giggled over his joke, my laughter doubling when Oxalis tried to mimic it with his outstretched hands.
He really was an idiot. I shook my head at him and enjoyed the hot spices threatening to burn my tongue.
"Why don't we go and scout new grounds together?" he smiled through his dying laughter "you can feed your family, and I can help mine find the water they need. We can call it a.... trade....to keep everyone happy."
I beamed at the offer and accepted it enthusiastically.
"Just you though" Oxalis pointed out "I don't know any of the others you are with. It's risky enough just letting you come with us like this. I don't know if I can trust you yet."
"Me?"
I was caught by surprise. I though him gifting me that wooden figurine and letting me into his hunting grounds was him trusting me.
"Anyone can say anything if they are pressured enough" Oxalis eyed me while he drank "no-one can know about what you saw downstairs. They'll be dead in a second."
"I won't tell anyone."
"If you do" he scowled "I'll hunt down your family and make them suffer. I can't have these babies die too. If you betray me, I'll betray you ten times worse."
"I won't betray you" I scowled back seriously, placing my cup down "you don't need to worry about me."
Oxalis left to return to the kitchen, grabbing out a knife to place before himself.
"Swear on it."
"With a knife?" I smiled back, trying to find the joke in his words.
"My Oath is to help provide for your family and protect them. If you betray me, I'll kill a member of yours for each of mine that die."
He stabbed the knife into his hand, making me yell out and clutch the cup in shock.
He only grit his teeth, hissing sharply, as he ripped it out.
"There's nerves and bones in there!" I pointed "do you want to paralyze yourself, you idiot?!"
He just wiped the bloody knife onto the edge of the table and slid it to me.
I grimaced at the coated blade.
"I'm not diseased" he stated.
"Well, that's all my worries gone" I retorted back and turned the knife handle towards me.
"You vow to never breathe a word of my family to anyone here that could hurt them. As long as you don't, I help you with your food crisis."
"And you don't touch any of them" I reminded.
"As long as you keep your mouth shut" he smiled back.
I picked up the knife and gripped the handle that shook in my grip. Oxalis watched me hesitate while it trained over my bandaged palm.
Dealing in blood was bad. I was burying myself deeper into things i shouldn't be getting tangled into.
Trypano warned me, and I ignored her twice now.
I lowered the knife to choose to gouge it into my palm instead. Blood burned and split between the webs to bead across the bandage.
"It's blood; it'll do" he shrugged and held his splattering palm toward me.
I leant over the table to grab his that crushed mine in his grip. The wounds smeared into each other that Oxalis pressed firmly together.
"I'll carry this Oath to the Dead Side" he smiled at it when we both sat back down "and I'll take your birds as an offering."
There was nothing I could do about that. I still had more that I needed to get rid of before the temptation led the others to risking the poison just to sate thier hunger.
I could call that a gift of sorts.
"This is so disgusting" I shook my hand to fling more blood across the floor.
"It's how I know you'll be serious" he shrugged and pressed a thumb into his wound so he could return to the sink to drown it.
"And a 'cross my heart and hope to die' doesn't cut it?" I cried out to him "you guys always take things to the extreme!"
"Says the man with a pile of dead birds on my table" Oxalis chuckled back while stuffing the hole with paper towel.
He left the sink running so I could jab my wound under the water spearing straight through the billowing skin.
The water hissed on the ceramic from the pressure twisted into it. The plug sucked it down noisily.
"I'll drop tommorow around we can use the day to grounds. How's that sound?"
"Yeah, good" I muttered back, distracted by the lack of words I had picked up over the noise I quickly killed "what time again?"
"Ten?" he raised an eyebrow at me "in the morning? Tommorow? At yours? In the Base? On t..."
"Stop being a dickhead, I get it" I smirked back and jabbed paper towel into my hand "see you then. Don't be late!"
Oxalis hugged me on my way back to him and led the way down the stairs. He opened the door for me, only to have Talio standing there with his arms folded and his face full of worry.
"Knew you had a spy" Oxalis shook his head at me with a smile "see you then."
"Bye" I waved back stupidly while joining Talio's side.
He waited until the door was closed to try and look at my face.
"What the hell took you so long?" he demanded "I thought you were making a deal? Where's the trade?"
"It's all sorted" I smiled at his concern "we talked it over and came to a deal. See?"
I held up my packed hand, onyl to have Talio throw his hands up and grip his hair.
"Are you....?" he hissed, trying to calm himself down "ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE RIGHT NOW?!"
I halted and narrowed my eyes to Talio who was panting with rage.
"You can't just go into a Blood Demon's room and make Oaths over something so small!" he snapped while checking the area "what the hell is wrong with you, Phillius? Are you feeling alright?"
He tried to feel my forehead but I slapped his hand away and powered on with him catching up.
"Nothing is wrong with me" I snapped back "and I'm fine. I got us what we needed, and that's all that should matter. I thought you'd be happy about that!"
"Not if it gets you doing deals with them!" he pointed back behind us "I thought you were friends! You were going to talk it out!"
"We are friends!" I bit back.
"Then how come you made an Oath then? Doesn't look like he trusts you. And over what? To accept a trade for poisoned birds? Why would you make an Oath over that? That's beyond stupid, Phillius!"
"Look" I snapped and stopped again "I made a trade. Be happy for me and stop complaining about how stupid I am. No-one is going to starve, OK?"
Talio growled as he groaned out.
"No-one makes a deal like that over birds. You aren't being honest with me again."
"I am" I huffed.
Could he see how nervous I was? Hear how tense every muscle in me was wound? I couldn't be blurting about Oxalis' family so soon after vowing I'd never speak of them.
Talio leant in close so he was only inches from my face. His eyes bored holes through me and his hot breath flitted across my clammy skin.
"Do you have something you want to tell me, or not?" he growled "the truth?"
I stepped back.
"That's the truth."
"Did you sleep with him too? Is that it?" Talio's glare trembled when he backed up too "is that it?"
"No!" I gasped out at his accusation before getting serious "no! Why would you say that?"
He just huffed through narrow eyes and stormed off while I pitifully followed him.
Talio didn't stop until he was at the door to the room where he glared at me.
"I don't want to see you until you want to be honest with me. I'm honest with you all the time."
"Talio!" I whined out as he opened the door and stormed inside "I am!"
Eyes looked up to focus on my attempt to get Talio to return.
I glared at them and barreled up the stairs after him.
"Did you sleep with someone else again?" a voice jeered to laughter.
"What about the deal?"
"Bet he fucked him for it. Fed himself, if you know what I mean."
I ignored the voices and grimaced to Talio who didn't even try to step in to defend me. He only waited by his door he held onto.
"I'm being honest" I begged him.
"And the fact you are saying it like that tells me you aren't" Talio snapped to me "I trusted you to make a simple deal and you went along to make a Blood Oath instead. I just can't look at you right now."
Talio shook his head at me and slid into his room to close the door firmly. I whined and knocked on it to try and get him to listen to me at least.
"Go away, Phillius" Talio growled from within.
I knocked again, pressing myself to the door so he could hear me.
"I just want to talk."
The door opened but it wasn't Talio who stood there.
One of the yellow-eyed men from Stone's room was here. He was the one with the dark skin marked by scars. They only made his hard stare more intimidating as it locked only on me.
His hand reached out to tap the paper on the door that had both names on it.
Talio and Arson.
"You're in the wrong place" he spoke gruffly.
It was such a harsh sounding voice. Like it could grate my skin with each word and pierce my eardrums with a single growl.
He was as rough as Talio, scars and all.
At least he had bathed and changed so he didn't smell so disgusting anymore.
"I just need to...."
"You are down that way" Arson reminded me "don't make me remind you."
What was he going to do? Beat me if I didn't leave?
I couldn't anger him. I already had broken hands and a stab wound I wasn't ready to be reopened. I had to admit defeat until another day.
I just glanced to Talio around Arson and shuffled off downstairs to where I knew Ransom would be waiting for me.
It was such a shameful walk past my observers. I didnt dare look at who they were, but I knew they were itching to gossip about me the moment I was out of earshot.
Seeing my name beside Ransom's just made it all worse. Reality smothered me and dragged me down while I pushed through the door to try and hide from my audience.
Ransom sat on the bed with a book and a pen. He turned to me with a wide smile, smoothing down the wrinkled bedsheet and patting it.
I dumped myself down close to the edge and turned from him.
"Rough trade?"
Rough didn't begin to describe it. The trade had been the easiest part. It was just Talio....
"How about you come help me with this?" he offered "take your mind off things?"
"No, thanks" I mumbled back, drawing my legs up.
I didn't want him baiting me into sex again. He saw how emotionally fucked I was and would twist it into some scenario where he ended up inside me.
"I got food" I heard a bag rustling before it was tossed against my back "it went cold while I waited for you, but it's a burger and chips."
I was hungry. I snatched up the greasy paper bag and turned back around so I could snap up the cardboard chips.
Something else hit my back and my hands seized a soft drink.
Cherry. It was still fizzy too, although warm.
Since when had he had time to get all this?
I didn't care. I was too hungry.
"I didn't know what you liked" Ransom spoke up "is it OK?"
"It's fine" I rolled my eyes while picking off the tomato and pickles.
"As long as you like it" he sighed back and went back to his book I heard the pen scratch along.
This fucking sucked. I wanted to be with Talio but not even he wanted the same thing. He had it in his mind I was sneaking around again when I was only trying to help this family by doing what I was told.
Oxalis showing up tommorow morning wouldn't help my plead of innocence either. Telio wouldn't see it as some friendly meeting with the one I had taken a Blood Oath with.
"Do you think I'm stupid?" I whimpered out between the burger I stuffed into my mouth.
"What?" Ransom placed his pen down "you make some weird choices, but I wouldnt say you are stupid."
"Talio thinks I'm stupid" I glanced over my shoulder to him.
"Talio is quite dumb himself" Ransom snorted but paused when I whimpered at his false accusation "is this whole bunking together thing making him blame it on you?"
I shook my head and turned back around to smash more food into my face while the silent tears rolled down my cheeks.
"Are you mad at me?"
Was I? I had played as much as a part in the sex as he did. I could have refused and walked away, but I wanted it. In the moment, I didnt care.
Now, I was seperated from Talio over it and the decision was playing a part in the distrust of my secrecy from Talio about the Oath.
He probably thought I was being fucked by Oxalis too. Solanine, Ransom, Oxalis; anyone but him.
The chips almost choked me when I chugged down the fizzy cherry fakeness to make room for more.
"No."
"That took a while for you to answer" Ransom noted "but I'll take that."
I heard the happiness in his voice.
"I just need today to end" I groaned out.
"Can I make it better?" Ransom offered again.
He wasn't going to let up. I huffed and dragged myself upwards with the food so I leant against the bedhead behind me.
"What do you want to do?"
Please don't say sex.
"A massage" he replied innocently and held up his hands when I went to fight him on it "when I'm having a bad day, Dashiell gives really good massages. It makes you feel so much better."
"Massages?" I scoffed "you just want me on my stomach so you can fuck me."
"As nice as that would be" Ransom chuckled while sliding off the bed to grab lotion "I'm not doing anything you don't want to. Here, you can even cover up with a pillow if you want."
He threw one to me that almost made me drop my chips.
"You can do it to me afterwards" Ransom smiled to me "no funny stuff."
"Better not be" I warned him while throwing the pillow down to the end of the bed and laying on it with my chips.
I didn't need to cover my arse with it. That'd make me look stupid.
"I kind of need you to take your shirt off."
I grumbled but stripped it off and flopped back down.
"Jesus fuck!" Ransom hissed at the sight of my back "what happened here?"
"Nothing" I sighed out in frustration now "are you going to do this or not?"
Ransom muttered something and lubed up his hands with the lotion. My whole body tensed up before he pressed his thumbs around my shoulder blades to push them upwards towards my neck.
The pressure was nice. The lotion was cold on my dry skin that drank it up. Ransom worked his thumbs along the sides of my spine, being careful where my skin had melted together. I could feel his hesitation in those areas.
"Just go for it" I encouraged him when he migrated back to my blades where it was safe "it doesn't hurt."
"It looks like melted cheese."
I smiled at his uncertainty and image he had planted into my mind.
At least I didnt have any of the ugly shower curtain still in there. I wonder when that had fallen out?
"It's all red too" he commented while rubbing it gently "are you sure you don't feel anything?"
He was barely putting weight into the burns. He was scared of hurting me.
That was sweet. I did feel flattered by his hesitation. I needed this gentleness after such a rough lashing by Talio.
"I'm fine."
Ransom applied more pressure and circles his way down each side of my spine. He got to the top of my pants and made his way back upwards to my neck he squeezed and rubbed with the cooling lotion until it warmed up.
This was amazing. I could feel myself loosening up with each rotation Ransom took up my body and away from my pants. He wasn't going to take advantage of the situation, like he had said.
At least he was honest.
"Do me now?" he eagerly asked when I was on the verge of falling asleep.
"Yeah" I mumbled and flicked a chip off my cheek "down you go."
We swapped places and I knelt next to Ransom like he had done for me.
He peeled off his shirt and helped himself to the chips left discarded beside the pillow.
"Just... don't be grossed out" his voice rose meekly.
Ransom's head tried to turn to me when I moisturized my hands and rubbed more lotion into them to help warm it up.
I tried straightening his shoulders that were lopsided. Ransom grunted with the movement and whimpered. His spine didn't run straight either. It bowed out the side in the middle at a sharp curve. Was that something else growing on his spine that made it look that way?
Or was it an injury? I hadnt seen anything like it before.
"You don't have to touch it if you don't want to" he mumbled and went to get up before I pushed him back down.
My finger trailed where it bowed, only to find it was still his spine. There were no breaks. It was all natural.
"It's Scoliosis" he spoke up "it hurts, so I get massages to help it."
So it wasn't him seeking sex at all. He only wanted relief from this painful disability without asking for it directly.
"Please don't look at me differently because of it" Ransom grimaced when I got to work on his shoulder blades "I try not to make it a big thing."
"Because you're different?" I prompted to his nod.
"Hey, same" I smiled "I'm half deaf. I'm supposed to wear a hearing-aid but there's no way that survived the fire."
"You're deaf?" Ransom turned around to look at me "I wouldn't have thought that."
"We have something in common then" I smiled to him.
Ransom liked that. He laid back down so I could work my way down the bend of his spine.
"Did the fire do that to you?" he asked.
"Yeah."
He fell silent, thinking, while I pushed into his back.
"Was it Talio's fire?"
"Yes."
Did that make him sound like a bad person? He didn't do it to me deliberately.
"Maybe it's good you are with me then?" Ransom spoke "we can help each other out."
"He was saving me" I defended "I just didn't move in time."
Ransom was silent again while I pressed and circled his shoulder blades that clicked under my touch.
"I... could save you too" he mumbled.
Things were getting too serious. I could feel the tension between us and sense the message Ransom was trying to throw out in the open.
He wanted to be what Talio meant to me.
I was flattered, but I wasn't going to admit it to him. The bubbles in my gut could dissapear on thier own.
"I can save myself" I said simply "I've got this under control."
"You do" he spoke with dissapointment in his voice.
I worked up Ransom's neck that tensed up.
"This was actually quite nice."
"It was" he lightened up a little and watched me clean the lotion onto my shirt "maybe we can make a thing of it?"
"Maybe" I shrugged back while crawling back to the top of the bed to lay on top of the covers.
Ransom followed to lay opposite me, turning away so I had full view of his curved spine glistening under the lotion. He hugged his shirt close; possibly so he could throw it on at a moments notice.
He really was taking a leap of faith showing me this side of him he kept hidden. It made me wonder what had prompted this sign of trust between us.
"Goodnight" Ransom smiled.
I turned off the light and slipped back into bed beside him.
"Night."
Even though I had said that Ransom's disabilty hadn't affected me, I could feel that changing as I looked at it bulging under his skin.
I pitied him.
Maybe in a way, he was saving me? We could be vulnerable in here in ways that we couldn't out in front of the family.
Our physical scars were only the start of it.
I turned to watch the door instead, just to make sure Ransom had the protection he needed from the judgment he was fearing.
It was the least I could do for someone who had made my life a little better.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
