Hope. Hope is what lifts us up & screws us over at the same time. It gives you the best feeling in the world and then it drops you as if it were nothing. As if that feeling was a lie the whole time & you were the idiot that believed it. Hope is a great but harsh thing.
I say all these things because I got inflated. I always get inflated when someone gives me the slightest bit of attention.
I've yet to figure out why or how to stop that nonsense.
Anyway, and so I thought oh how much I liked this person and blah blah blah. I was wrong when I'd said it wouldn't work before. It could if we tried. But I was wrong about that, it couldn't work for so many reasons. But still I'm left in the dust of my...inflation and hope to figure out why it all happened in the first place. To figure out what in the hell I was thinking. Like I said, I fall WAY too fast.
I say all that, but as soon as I get a message from this person I'll be right back on the same boat.
It's like getting on a boat out of the soaking water and getting dry only to jump right back in at the slightest movement thinking its a fish.
It's nonsense. It's...almost pathetic.
I've seriously got to figure myself out before I include someone else in, I am screwed up majorly.
At the end of the day, I think I just want to be loved and wanted. Who can blame me?
© Madison B Barrett
