But...
Is that supposed to make it hurt less or make it less horrible...or saddening?
At the end of the day, I wish I wasn't me. I wish I was a girl named Lucy Elise Evans who had a dog, a car, married parents who didn't fuss, grandparents who lived beside her, a mom who understood and didn't fuss with her, and a very best friend, who was also her very best friend, named Molly Susan Grant.
But I'm not Lucy, I'm Madison and I don't get all of the things I want. (At least I have a car and a dog.) And honestly I don't even want the the things I want.
Mostly, I just wish that I had less stress and sadness & that people understood me.
I'm sorry that I'm sad a lot of the time. Honestly, I'm not sad. I just don't care. Why should someone have to been happy all the time? Why do us humans have an idea of what happy looks like? Who's to say I'm not just because I'm not dancing around and grinning from ear to ear all the time?
I'm sorry that I'm confusing and hard to understand. I'm me. I'm a very deep person.
I'm sorry I don't always do exactly what you want me to do. I'm a human, I make mistakes and I have wants, desires, frustrations, etc too.
I'm sorry I'm not the perfect daughter, friend, etc.
I wish I could change and conform into what you all want me to be, but if I did, I wouldn't be me. Can I not be me?
© Madison B Barrett
ns 15.158.61.20da2
