I’m so fucking close to giving up and just breaking down. So mucch has gone shit this week and it’s not even over yet.
I’m so fucking stressed over exams and my parents are just adding more stress. They keep on making threats like if my grades fall I won’t be able to write anymore. So I’m really really trying.
there are so many emotions going through me right now and a massive one is jealousy and I hate it I hate myself so much for feeling like this.I’m jealous of my friend for getting better grades than me even though she deserves it. I’m jealous at my bestie for being able to get the guy she really like. Even though she’s actually made moves to make it happen. And then here I am doing fuck all.
It’s hit me that I can’t look at anything I do and be proud. That whenever I see a finished product of anything I feel like I can do better and even if it’s the best I can’t do anything besides be upset with the product. I’m getting all these high grades and my friends are telling me it’s good but I feel like I fucking failed whatever I did. It’s not nice
Then some stuff happened yesterday and I’m still sad over it.
OH AND TO TOP IT ALL(icing on the cake if you wanna say) MY FUCKING FISH OF LIKE 7 YEARS DIED! CAKEY THE FISH DIED MAN.
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