Hope

ALEC’S P.O.V.

Something was wrong. Something was really, really, wrong. It had been a week, and Charlotte still wasn’t here. As I glanced at her empty desk 4th period, I couldn’t help but realize that Charlotte had never been absent this whole year. Well the teacher told us, but that’s beside the point. Rumors had been going around the school, saying she killed herself, which made me even more nervous and anxious as I remembered the day I found her on those train tracks.

“I’m not going to sit here and get yelled at by a fucking stranger! I’ll go kill myself someplace else.” My heart stopped as I remembered her words; how could I be so stupid?! Of course, she didn’t mean she was going to do it that day, just eventually, somewhere else. I dropped my face into my hands with a groan, completely mortified that I’d never see Charlotte anymore. I already wasn’t eating regularly due to worry, and my sleeping schedule was crazy, but now that I was 97% sure she was dead, I already felt myself detaching from the world around me. And to think I was that close from breaking her walls.

Yeah right. I thought with a sigh, rolling my eyes. As the bell rang, I stood slowly, grabbing my backpack and waiting for the class to file out before I approached the teacher’s desk hesitantly.

“M-Mr. Fitz?” I asked, running a hand through my hair as I eyed the teacher who was still fixated on his laptop. Looking away in surprise, he frowned, folding his hands across his cluttered desk.

“Mr. Stone.” He said with a nod. “Is everything alright?”

“Well, yeah, I was just wondering if you heard about Charlotte Jones.” I don’t know why I said her full name, considering she was in his class, but I passed it off as just being nervous. Sighing, he looked away as if dismissing me, making me drop my gaze with disappointment, ready to hear his response that would surely bring me nothing but unbelievable anger.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stone, but I haven’t heard about her last week, and I haven’t heard about her this week.” He said coldly, his irritation making me blink in surprise. “Aren’t you dating Destiny Farms? Maybe you shouldn’t be so fixated on Charlotte…You never know when she’ll be gone.” He said in a reassuring tone as if we were discussing the weather.

“First, with all due respect, it’s none of your business who I date, and I can be ‘fixated’ on whoever I please. And what do you mean when you say ‘I’ll never know when she’ll be gone’?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I just meant-“

“That what? You don’t give a shit about her no matter what the hell’s going on in her life? Whatever.” I scoffed, before turning, storming out of the classroom with a sigh. I know I only knew Charlotte for a couple of days now, but I just…I felt like I needed to realize what went down in her life, and then help her overcome her problems, but now that she was most likely gone, I’ve never felt less hopeless than I was right now. Letting out a loud curse that echoed throughout the empty halls didn’t work either, but I was glad everybody was in the cafeteria so they didn’t see me lose my shit.

“A-Alec?” A soft voice sounded behind me, and just recognizing that voice was enough to make me stop immediately, whirling around to see a sight I thought I’d never see.

“Charlotte.” I breathed, not holding anything back when I ran towards her, throwing my arms around her before squeezing her as hard as I could just to reassure myself that she was actually here in my arms, and not 10 feet under. “Oh my god, Charlotte.” Nothing could explain the relief I felt when I saw her standing there.

“Yeah, it’s me, and ow, my arm.” She said, and I instantly pulled away, glancing down at her right arm to see it was wrapped in bandages, making my face go slack.

“Charlotte.” I gasped, running a hand through my hair. “I-Is that what I think it is?” She dropped her gaze, chewing on her bottom lip, looking as guilty as ever. “Fuck, Charlotte, I...I thought you quit!” She flinched at my tone but still didn’t reply, making me even angrier.

“Fuck, Charlie, do you know how worried I was?! And just to realize that you were at home cutting yourself while I was practically losing my mind, thinking that you were dead!” I could tell she was starting to get angry, which was often these days, and she crossed her arms, slightly wincing as her arm brushed against her stomach.

“I wasn’t at home cutting myself you fucking idiot, I was in the hospital because I hit a vein, and because I under suicidal watch.”

“Yeah, maybe that’s where you need to be.” I spat, my jaw clenching as I looked away, glaring at the locker in front me before punching it so hard, it dented.

“I didn’t try to kill myself, asshole! How could you think so lowly of me?!”

“Well it’s kind of hard to believe you didn’t try to considering you literally told me you would try it again.” I said coldly, my jaw clenching tightly.

“So you don’t believe me.” She stated, and I would’ve thought it didn’t affect her if it wasn’t for cracking of her voice, making her wince. “Fuck.” She spat, clutching her throat as if that would’ve stopped the second crack.

“Charlie, I’m sorry.” I said, running a hand through my hair, all anger washing away as I approached her, gently wrapping my arms around her, placing my chin on the top of her head. “I’m sorry, I was just so worried about you, you know?”

“Why?” She asked quietly as she slowly and hesitantly wrapped her thin arms around my waist, pulling me closer, sending my heart into a frenzy.

“I….” Sighing, I just pulled her tighter until we were flush against each other. “I don’t know. I just…I just was. Don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?”

“Alright.” She said with finality in her voice. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Please.” And with that, we stood in the hallway, wrapped up in each other, enjoying this moment, because frankly, with both of our tempers and differences, neither of us knew when we would get another chance to do it again.825Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUImhgZMKGd
*

“So you just cut her pigtail off in the middle of class?” I asked through my laughing, astonished by her bravery.

“Yeah. I just…Took the scissors that were laying on the table, and just chopped it off.” Charlotte said with a giggle, running a hand through her hair as she nodded across from me. “I told you; Stealing kindergartener’s crayons was serious back then.”

“Wow.” I sighed, leaning back in my chair with a content smile, just gazing at the beauty in front of me. “You seize to amaze me every time we talk.” Shying away from my smile, she began fiddling with the sugar packets that were organized in the container to my right. We were tucked away in a darkly lit coffee shop, and we had been here for about an hour and a half, just laughing our heads off and having a blast.

“Thanks.” She muttered, a small smile on her face as she nodded, letting her hair cover half of her face.

“No need.” I said, taking a sip of my cold coffee as if that would calm my heart beating.

It didn’t.

“Thanks for coming here with me.” She said, looking around at the nearly empty coffee shop with a pleased smile. “And for inviting me.” I loved how she was naturally bashful, always blushing or getting awkward over a simple compliment, or how I recognized little things she did, like when she jumped from her seat to help an elderly woman out the door, nearly running over to the door to beat the woman.

She was like a puzzle, a puzzle I would stop at nothing to solve.

“W-What?” She blubbered, her face flushing a deep red, letting me know I actually said that out loud, making me turn a bright pink.

“Er, nothing.” I assured, looking down at the wooden table we were sitting at. “So, where are you going after this? Maybe I can drive you there?”

“Oh, no, that won’t be necessary-“

“Well I’m not going to let you walk.” I said incredously, wondering why she was so set on not letting me drive her.

“Alec, I’m fine walking. I’ve been walking my whole life, I’m not going to stop now.” She assured with a nervous laugh, running a hand through her hair, and I watched the strands slip through her thin fingers with a gulp.

God, she was just so fucking beaut-

My thoughts were cut off when her phone rang, making her jump in surprise before searching through her pockets for the device, finally finding it in her back pocket before frowning at the screen.

“Um, I’ll be back.” She informed before scrambling up, speed-walking away and making sure she was far away before even answering the call, making me even more suspicious, but I decided to ignore it, realizing a girl needed space and privacy. I resulted on emptying the sugar packets onto the already dirty table, and moving it around with my finger as I waited for her to return.

“Hey, sorry about that.” She said with a smile, but I could tell that it was forced, but I knew not to pry.

Not when we just became friends.

“It’s okay. Do you have to go?” I asked slowly, watching as she grabbed her purse and leaving a $10 bill on the edge of the table, making me frown.

“Huh?” I could tell she was distracted by the way she kept fumbling around, her eyes darting around, making me stand up to help her. “Oh, uh, yeah, I have to uh…Go.”

“Well at least let me pay.” I offered, trying to hand her back her money, but she strictly denied it, shaking her head forcefully.

“No, it’s fine; I’m capable of paying for my coffee, thanks.” She said with a more natural smile, but this one was still a bit forced.

“Okay.” I drawled, dropping her money back down along with a $10 bill of my own, even though $20 was way more than how much our coffees cost. “Then let me drive you home; where are you headed?”

“No, its fine-“

“Charlotte, I’m not taking no for an answer.” I stated, following her to the door, holding it open for her. “Don’t be bashful; where do you live?” I gently grabbed her side, ignoring the way she sharply inhaled, steering her towards my 2006 Camaro SS, already opening the passenger seat for her before she could even turn down the offer.

With a reluctant sigh, she gave in, slipping into the car with a frown, making me smirk, closing the door once she was all the way in, before walking over to the driver’s side before she could escape.

“So kiddo,” I said, pulling out of the parking lot. “Where do you stay at?” With only slight hesitation, she told me where she lived before huffing and glaring out the window, but I could tell she was fighting a smile, which made me burst out with laughter.

“I had fun.” I said, peering over at her to see she was still gazing at the scenery around us. “So thanks.” Katy Perry was playing lowly in the background from the radio, so we weren’t completely bathed in silence, luckily. It took her a while, but she finally replied, a small but content smile on her face.

“Me too, Alec.” She assured. “We should definitely do that more often.” She replied, just as I pulled in front of her apartment complex that made me raise an eyebrow when looking at.

“Erm, this your stop?” I asked, trying to come off casually, but horribly failing, but thankfully, she didn’t notice.

“Yup.” She smiled. “Thank- What are you doing?” She eyed me suspiciously as I undid my seatbelt, halfway out the car, peering at her over my shoulder.

“Um, walking you in?” I said as if it wasn’t obvious.

“Alec, you already drove me; I don’t want to be any much more of a burden-“

“Trust me, you’re not.” I said with a chuckle, climbing out the car and jogging around just in time to slip into the lobby with her. We walked up the flight of steps in silence, my hands casually in my pockets and her arms casually crossed, her eyes on the dusty steps and mine straight ahead, looking at the graffiti, stains, and marks on the hallways.

“This is it.” She muttered, stopping at a door that read ‘3E’, standing in front of it. “Thanks again for today and all. I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah. Definitely. Bye.” I said, waving goodbye and was about to turn away before the door was ripped open, making me jump in surprise before I looked up, smiling meekly at the man that glared down at me.

“Who’s your friend, Charlotte?” The intimidating man demanded from the wide-eyed girl who seemed just as nervous as me. He was balding and wore a dirty wife-beater that showed just how huge his forearms, which were covered with all kinds of tattoos, were. He wore a frown, just like his frown lines indicated, his huge beard moving with his thin lips.

“U-Uh, John, this is my….Friend, Alec.” Charlotte muttered, now looking down at the floor, a thing she did so many times, I wasn’t even surprised.

“The one who only wants to get in your pants?” He asked simply, but gruffly, and I flinched at his words, my eyes widening as I glanced at Charlotte, who dared a look my way before dropping it, chewing on her bottom lip. Was that what she thought of me?! She actually thought I was being nice to her, just so I could get in her pants? I didn’t know whether to be mad at her or him, but I was leaning towards being pissed at him.

“John.” Charlotte warned. “He’s not like that.” This seemed rehearsed, like she said it before, making me that much angrier.

“Yeah, and like I said before, that’s exactly what you said about Brandon before he knocked you-“

“JOHN!” She screeched, her eyes wide and her jaw dropped, and he finally released me from his sharp glare, only to glare at her instead. “Can you like…Not?” She insisted, her stare begging, making me shift uncomfortably.

“Yeah, I’m going to just….Go. Thanks again, Charlotte.” I said, less enthusiastically, turning on my heels and leaving them, my gaze now on the dirty tile of the apartment complex.825Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLzFmDL8Zc
*825Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQ3gV7YK6e
“The one who only wants to get in your pants?” Those words darted around my brain so much, that they started to get jumbled and mixed up, making me sigh, shake my head, and think about the words some more. Did he think I was only talking to her to ‘get into her pants’? Or did she believe that? Or maybe they both did, but she just defended me because I was there. God, this was so frustrating and irritating to think about! I couldn’t believe they were actually talking about me before today. Did she bluntly tell him I was only talking to her to get into her pants? I thought before quickly discarding the thought, remembering how she looked at him: Hatred and loathing.

I was now practically jogging to where I knew her locker was, only around the corner from mines, and thankfully, she was there, the same time as always.

“A-Alec, hey.” She said forcefully, closing her locker before standing there, nervously looking at me.

“Hey. Listen, uh, what your…Dad or whatever said, is not true-“

“I know-“

“It’s not like I wouldn’t ‘get in your pants’ or anything, because frankly, there’s nothing wrong with you, and now that I think about it, you’re probably the prettiest girl at this school, if not in this town, but I wouldn’t just like…Use you or anything like that. Like, me, being nice to you and hanging out with you is not just my technique of getting into your pants, if that makes sense...” I quickly stopped talking once I realized I was ranting, and how I saw her face flush about 20 shades of red and she was practically full on avoiding my gaze, even resulting to looking over her shoulder.

I waited for her to respond, but she seemed too embarrassed to talk for some reason, making me mentally retrace my steps, wondering what it was I said that made her look as red as a tomato. Finally, I remembered what I said, and turned a bright pink, nearly punching myself in the face for what I said.

“Holy shit, Charlotte, I-I-I didn’t mean that. Wait, I-I mean, I would get into your pants, but I didn’t mean-“

“Alec.” She finally choked out, her eyes wide with horror. “Please, just stop talking. Please.” She insisted, holding her palm up as she took a deep breath, recovering from that terribly embarrassing moment. “I get it.” She assured, hurriedly nodding, her eyes still wide. “I get it. Yes, I get it, and I understand. I know, he was just being an asshole.”

“Okay.” I said, my eyes still wide from that humiliating monologue I just gave her about getting into her pants. Holy fuck, how stupid can I get?!?!

“Okay.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. We stood there awkwardly, just looking around at the crowded hallway, practically avoiding each other’s gazes, before finally, she broke the silence. “I’m going to….Go.” She said, jerking her thumb in the opposite direction with a grimace.

“Huh? OH.” I cleared my throat once I realized I was shouting. “Um, oh, okay.” I replied in a much deeper voice, making her wince before turning around, literally scurrying away, probably to go wallow in embarrassment. Leaning against a random locker with a sigh, I had never been so embarrassed in my life.

Well that went well. I thought bitterly.