Chapter Theme Music: Walking Through the Unknown ~ Unusual Cosmic Process (Spacetime)
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<Karnak to ACS414 Date Equivalent: 10/15/2009>
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As an Altiri who purged a human without permission, I knew my roles ahead would be difficult for me to face. One of the difficulties I had not expected to shatter my peaceful mind pierced into me like a thorn, and there was no removing this bother. A promise to wait is easy from my lips, yet impossible from my heart.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrD9RQJpjV
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"Constantly staring off into space isn't going to help make this go any faster." Talor, who had been enjoying the choice I made, reached out to me, becoming my voice of reason after I had thrown much of it aside.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmToR8E6u8
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I merely repeated my intentions to my sister, after waiting for so long, stuck in a nervous, never-ending anticipation of what might come of our entire group. "My thoughts are with purpose Talor. Even if all I can do is wait for the purge to complete itself, there is still much to prepare for when it does. I am, as humans often put it, daydreaming about the moment, to simulate a best course of action."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlqYbwSd2I
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"Admit it," Junko began to imply. "You can't get your mind off him because you have such strong feelings to him, maybe something beyond a want for friendship?"113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQXMcwNAXR
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"What?" Trying not to sound caught off guard by Junko's question, I was forced to consider the impossibility while Hurma lifted her voice on the matter, assuming it could never be so.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOvhJnq4kO
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"Stop messing around Junko. It's already bad enough that we had to purge Reed for Lumina's emotional attachments, but do not insinuate that she is actually falling in love with the subject. Lumina isn't that stupid, right?"113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8OLv5FTxw
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She was addressing the reassuring question to me, though I took a bit longer to respond than I wanted to, lost in a web of confusing thoughts I wanted to ignore. I never once assumed I was in love with Reed, but the way I feel about him so strongly, I can't deny how important he is to me. I have to be sure, because if I am romantically motivated to reach him, I may jeopardize all I must do before I am aware of it.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOpAvt15m8
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It's a difficult concept to think about, whether or not I feel that way about someone. It isn't something I can just confirm or deny at the drop of a hat. However, if I know Hurma, the tiny possibility of such would send her over the edge again. "Don't worry everyone. I know what I'm doing. Junko? It wouldn't stop me from doing what must be done if I did harbor such feelings for Reed. However, you should know that this isn't the current reality. I want to help Reed, to be there for him, not to flirt with him."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmpC2RtPqsL
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While all of my sisters were listening to our conversation, Rose added her opinion to the declaration I've made. "This is relieving for me to hear as well. Whether we would be concerned with the possibility or not, humans tend to make large messes of relationships. On top of that, they have a tendency to make a very big deal regarding age differences. This alone may lock you out of the ability to chase that desire."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdkPB8Tc6B
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"I love Reed, but I'm not in love with Reed. I agree with Rose. I want to avoid making any mistakes that I can here. When the purge does finally finish and I can connect with him, I have to be ready. I think the only way I can get through to him is to prove I am here to help him."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVn2Xg6j0j
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I wasn't willing to believe everyone would just leave it at that, and Hurma proved my doubts certain. "There is another way to get him on our side, methods that the queen herself suggested you use."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeizGbgEJH4
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"I won't stoop to those methods of deceit!" How many times must I make it clear to Hurma that I refuse to be disingenuous to the person I want to help most? "I'm going to help Reed with whatever he wants help with, even if he doesn't initially believe that I exist. I know none of you understand why I'm doing this, or why this is so important to me, but I need all of you to at least trust me."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkKEUuQKzb
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"I do trust you Lumina, even if I still think this was all a mistake made from your confusing emotions." Hurma's usual rage seemed absent as she spoke, docile in ways I rarely ever sense. "I wouldn't have joined your purge if I didn't trust and have faith in you. We are sisters after all."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5XEmT77gI
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"Since we're all on the subject," Derria interjected, "I must wonder how long it will take this purge to finish. The queen gave us a time limit of 780 days regarding total purge time. Everyone knows the longest a purge has ever taken was about two years. I wonder what Reed is up to now, as we can no longer see him, but I also worry that the heat of Georgia may impede the progress of the purge, indefinitely."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8i4SNKVcd
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It was more than a valid concern, but one I chose to ignore entirely. "Derria? I knew what the probability of success was before I even made my choice. I need not the reminder of factors which could go wrong, especially the factors outside of our control. If there is nothing we can do to improve our chances, then I will not worry about the cause of the problem in the first place. Such stress does us no good."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6Ot2FOVRO
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"Fine, forget I said anything."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8pRRlrpeA
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Oh Derria, please don't pout over our delicate situation. "I mean you no dismissal Derria. I simply cannot fit any more concern into my mind during this long wait. I wish to distract myself instead - from the stress of it all."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U3pljW6LH
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"I'm just having second thoughts is all. I know that we cannot undo the purge that we sent. But Lumina? I don't want to spend the rest of eternity in one of those prisons. I still can't forget about our queen's wrath. Even though she gave us a new chance, I could tell her anger was to targeted on all of us, and that she wasn't kidding about the conditions of our punishment should this purge fail."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0rQvO5I6b
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"You are allowed to feel this way Derria." I feel bad, having doomed all of my sisters right beside me. It was necessary to ask for their assistance in order to send this purge, but sending the purge was my decision. "I think, if everything goes downhill, and you explain to the queen what you just explained to me, she might limit the effects of the punishment only onto me, for all of you."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMdTLNFBS3
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"But Lumina, you shouldn't—"113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTT8q5QeYy
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"I am not giving up without a fight!" I so sternly rectified Junko's sympathetic concern, hers and the others. "I didn't say any of you had to avoid the wrath of The Unity, only that I would never think less of you if you did try. However, I'm pushing those thoughts aside, because I have faith in all of us, faith in this purge, and faith in Reed. Our successful purge is now the only thing left to decide our futures."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmj09F0KnZ
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"If I had to guess, you're still more concerned with helping Reed than you are fearful of failure-driven demise?"113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54aZC0z18M
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"I am, Ashiela. I still can't stop thinking about it, about the amount of involvement and change we have already implemented into their world. Small as it may seem to us now, that change will ripple through time. Someday, the Altiri will cease looking at human purge candidates as telepathic nodes, and begin seeing them as disciples of The Unity. Don't you get it? I want to be somebody to Reed, somebody worthy of his high opinions and praise, and I cannot cheat in order to raise his opinion of The Unity. He isn't that stupid, and I'm not that horrible."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBTLGsyVHIr
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"Then it sounds like you are already prepared to give this all you got." Fionne knew just how important this was to all of us, and she has long since set aside her doubts in favor of giving me hope. "Just remember. When the purge cycle is complete and that first link is established, the very first day you spend with Reed will become the most important day. You must convince him that contacting you after the first connection ends is paramount, and also teach him how to invoke the same power."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo7U7pvagb
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"Reed will know how to invoke this power already, from result of the purge. The trick is, he has to want another connection with me badly enough to make it happen, the willpower and determined emotions fuel for such psionic energy." I knew what I had to do, at least that's what it felt like for now. It isn't going to be easy; I know this... I'm still not giving up.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCovZF4DUHg
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Despite all I've said, I could tell there was so much more on their minds, thoughts of worry, anxiety of the unknowns. What we Cy-Stars have done will have consequences down the line, one way or another, which shall ripple out through time for all of us. Not everyone knows what to do or how they are supposed to move past their current problems. It's partially this reason everyone has felt so distant lately, and I can only feel fully responsible for all of it.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgXAoecaG4
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"Would you then like to have another gathering, to take our minds off this heavy matter?"113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5fCdh2key
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With the weight of everything, there was no way I was denying Luna's offer. "I would love to have a gathering. Junko and I shall prepare our teleporters and recalibrate the AGCR for your arrival."113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaVWbPnZ6m
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While I prepared to leave my ship to Junko and board Luna's area, I still had too much to workout in my mind, the web of thoughts and fears clawing at every moment, making the air so hard to breathe. I had to ponder whether a slumber party with Luna and some of the others would really make us feel better, but only time would tell.
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