James wondered if Selah ever took a break. They had just spent the last hour doing the textbook problems with solutions in the back, and somehow, she could still keep her focus for so long.
They were planning to work until the library closed, which wouldn’t be until two hours later. Sighing loudly, James looked around to see a couple of kids--maybe freshmen--in the Nonfiction section of the library, as well as a group of brooding, edgy-looking people sitting at a table near the library entrance. Being at the library after school seemed even lamer than he expected. He would’ve rather been at the gym, or even playing some really boring video game collecting dust on his shelf.
“Are you stuck on something?” Selah asked.
He automatically smiled at her. “Nah, I’m just taking a break.”
When she looked back at her textbook, he did admit to himself that she was the only reason he was in the library after school hours, doing way more practice problems than he normally would’ve when studying for a Calculus test. He wished she was less focused on studying, though.
He took her phone next to her textbook and turned it on to see a cat and a dog in the lock screen.
“Hey!” Selah said as she reached for her phone, but he turned away from her as he guessed random numbers for her passcode. “You’re gonna disable it,” she said.
“What’s the passcode?”
“I’m not gonna tell you.” Her cheeks turned pink as she gave up on reaching for the phone.
He went back to punching in random numbers until the phone was disabled for one minute. He gave the phone back to her as she rolled her eyes and said, “Thanks.”
“You have pets?”
“Oh, no, they’re not mine.” She set the phone on the table. “It’s some random pic I found on Instagram. I just have a really big soft spot for cats and dogs.”
“And birds. And bugs.”
She scoffed as she picked her pencil up again.
“Remember when you collected bugs and cried when most of them died?” He smiled.
“Yes, but--”
“And when you brought a dead bird to the school nurse to save it?”
She made a face at him, saying, “He wasn’t dead. He was missing a leg. And unconscious.”
“Yeah but you were crying so much because you thought it was dead.”
“Well, the nurse did call animal control and they saved him before he actually died.”
It felt as though James’s cheeks would hurt for the rest of the day. “Are you sure it was even a boy?”
She finally smiled too. “It looked like a boy, okay?”
Chuckling, he pressed his arm against his abdomen and bowed. “Sorry, Princess Selah. I’ll stop talking about one of your bird friends.”
“Oh, no.” She shook her head, still grinning. “You’re still calling me that?”
“If you still love animals and bugs, yeah.” Although, she was bound to have changed in the time they were apart, which would’ve sucked now that he thought about it. “Do you?”
“Well… I don’t collect bugs anymore.” They both laughed. “But I still don’t try to kill them. If I see them in my room or something I don’t really care. There’s no reason to kill them just ‘cause they’re not outside, where they ‘should’ be,” she said, making the appropriate air quotes. “And I actually haven’t seen any dead birds since that one time. I see dead possums in the road though.” With her lips downturned, she looked down at her hands lying on the open textbook.
James leaned back in his chair. “Yep, still Princess Selah.”
She leaned forward with her eyes squinted. “And what does that make you?”
He thought of the prince, but he rejected that idea immediately. There was nothing about him that was even respectable, let alone princely and charming enough to be compatible with someone like her. He’d probably be… “The animal sidekick.”
She let out a short, squeaky laugh. “What kind of animal?”
“Uh…” He didn’t have a go-to animal when asked what he’d be. “What’s your favorite?”
“Cats.” She paused. “With dogs a super close second. And bunnies.”
“Okay, I’ll be a cat-slash-dog-slash-bunny.”
She laughed a lot harder than usual. Actually, ever. Was it that easy to get Selah to make a real laugh? After hearing how it sounded, he was definitely going to keep this up.
He wished he wasn’t such a sad little dumbass when they first met, just so that he wouldn’t have had to wonder for so long how her real laugh sounded.
“Can you two please keep it down?” the old and bitchy librarian scolded from her desk.
“Oops,” Selah said as she clamped a hand over her mouth. She only kept laughing but more quietly this time.
After calming down, she said, “You can just be a cat.”
He tried to think of something funny to say, then settled with, “You’ve cat to be kidding--I mean kitten, me.”
She giggled again, which was all that James cared about even though he flubbed the easiest cat joke ever.
“Nope, not kitten you,” Selah teased.
They eventually went back to work when James just wanted to talk to her more, but she was right about them needing to get back to work. Maybe the next study break?
He got stuck on one problem, so he looked over at her work, only to see her hand scribbling all of a sudden. As she erased the scribble, he counted that as the third time she did that today. He didn’t remember that quirk before, but it was actually amusing to watch. It was even funnier how mad she looked when she scribbled right in the middle of solving a problem.
He started leaning toward her with a question about the random scribbling, until a hand slapped James’s shoulder. Ninety-nine percent sure it was Dave, James turned to see that it was in fact him. Andrew definitely told Dave that James would be there. That motherfucking tattletale.
“How’s studying?” Dave asked as he sat next to James.
More than anything right now, James wanted to just be alone with Selah. But he also knew it was his own fault for telling Andrew about the study date--or, well, session--in the first place. He only told him because Andrew offered to study for English at the same time James was meeting up with Selah for Calculus, and James just slipped like the dumbass he was.
“This is hella boring,” James said as he slouched in his chair. Except when I turned into Princess Selah’s cat sidekick, he thought.
“Why can’t you just study the night before?”
James glanced at Selah, who was still working. He shrugged. “I actually don’t study early.” Which was a total lie. He studied early for all of his math tests, but there was no way he’d tell Dave and the others that. To make the lie more convincing, James said quickly, “Selah wanted to start early.”
Selah looked up seeming confused, but he only gave an emotionless expression in return. He made a note to himself to explain to her later, hoping she’d understand.
Dave glanced at her for a second before checking out James’s work. “Dude, that looks like legit rocket science.”
James faked a grin and shrugged. “Totally gonna bomb the test.”
Selah looked at his work. “I think you’re fine. See, I missed more problems than you did.”
Freaking out as Dave gave him a questioning look, James said, “I was actually copying some of the answers in the back.” Also a lie. James shrugged again, until he decided to lay off the shrugging. Selah looked more confused than ever, and James prayed she wouldn’t reveal anything else.
“How long did you guys study?” Dave asked.
“Uh, an hour I think,” James answered as his heart beat faster. “Maybe longer than that.”
“Are you gonna be done soon?”
James looked at Selah working on the same problem again. He just wanted Dave to leave before James had to lie any more. “No, I think we’ll study some more. Why?”
Dave sighed. “I need someone to go to the gym with me.”
Rolling his eyes, James said, “Ask Gary.”
“Fuck no.” Dave leaned toward James. “He sucks at spotting. And he’s been annoying ever since I dumped Violet, I guess ‘cause I’m not with her all the time anymore. But I feel like all I ever do is hang out with him.”
“Uh, basically. You’re like Sherlock Holmes and Gary’s like the assistant.”
“Yeah, John Watson, I know,” Dave grumbled.
“Well, if you still need somebody at the gym… maybe Carter?”
“If he’s not getting shitfaced today, then yeah, maybe.” A buzzing sound came from his back pocket, and when he pulled out his phone, he groaned. “It’s Gary again.”
“What did he say?” James asked.
“He asked me to go to the gym with him.”
“Then go with him.” James realized his tone had risen. He had to not make it too obvious he wanted Dave to leave. “I mean, who would you want, Carter moping and drinking all the time, or Gary?”
“Fine, I’ll take Gary. Later.” Dave dragged himself up to his feet as he texted on his phone.
Relaxing his shoulders and looking back at Selah still working, James felt like a complete dick. When Dave appeared out of nowhere, James just freaked out with bullshit spilling out of his mouth. It wasn’t fair to Selah.
As he watched Dave exit the library, James sort of knew all the judgments Selah would make once he admitted to the bullshit. She already just saw more of the fake asshole he had become over the years. What if this would ruin the progress they were making?
He leaned toward her to start his half-assed explanation, until the lights of the library turned off. Selah let out a sharp gasp and covered her head with her hands. But when the lights went back on, she looked around and let out a long breath.
“Wrap up whatever you’re doing,” the librarian said as she peered at all the students through her tiny glasses. “The library is closing in fifteen minutes today because I have a meeting. Fifteen minutes.”
James looked back at Selah breathing faster than normal, yet still finishing her problem.
“Selah, are you okay?” he asked.
She glanced at him briefly before looking back down at her work. “Yeah.”
He hadn’t remembered her ever having a fear of the dark. But as he studied her, she still acted like it wasn’t a big deal. He might as well let it slide, since he didn’t exactly know how to deal with or even talk about problems like this. But he did want to try cheering her up, especially after the situation with Dave.
“You know, I wish I could actually turn into a cat.”
Selah looked up from her textbook and smiled at him. “Really?”
He nodded. “Just to see if me being your sidekick would work out.”
She seemed to think. “Maybe you’re a sidekick that can turn into anything you want.”
“So I can be a human?”
“You can be whatever you want.”
He smiled. “I could be a servant packing up your stuff before the librarian witch curses you in less than fifteen minutes.” He started closing her books and putting them in her backpack.
She cracked up, making James feel ten times better. “You’re getting so carried away with this.”
“Ladies first,” he said as he slung one of her backpack straps over his shoulder and packed up his things too.
Still smiling, she folded her arms and stomped out of the library. After he finished packing up, he put his backpack on his other shoulder and headed out to meet her.
“I feel like a little kid again,” she said as she tugged her backpack from him, but he didn’t budge when he spotted the librarian watching them. “Hey, give it back--”
“I can’t,” James said as he grabbed her hand and led her to the side of the library entrance. “The witch saw us and we have to get away from her or else she’ll kill us.” After waiting a few moments and peeking into the library to see the librarian talking on the phone, James finally gave Selah her backpack.
“You’re being so...silly,” she said with a smile.
He only smiled back, just feeling glad that their previous mood was back again.
“What was all that for?”
Lifting a shoulder, he said, “Just wanted to have fun like we used to.”
“We’re in high school. We don’t need to act like kids anymore. But, I will say that was fun.”
He bowed to her again. “Glad to be of service, Princess Selah.”
Shaking her head, she checked the time on her phone. “I’m gonna go home. Studying was fun.”
As she turned, he held onto her wrist. “Wait.” He still needed to explain to her about his bullshitting to Dave.
“Yes?” She looked from his hand to his eyes.
He let go of her wrist and shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. “I just wanna say that I lied to Dave like that ‘cause I didn’t want him to know some stuff about me. Like, stuff about what I do in Calc. Can it just stay between you and me?”
Selah wrinkled her eyebrows as she seemed to think about what he said. Then she replied, “Okay.” Her eyebrows still wrinkled, she nodded and turned away to head downstairs.
James was so fucking stupid. If he hadn’t told her the reason behind his lies, she wouldn’t have given him that weird look. Leave it to him to ruin such a good moment that they badly needed for so long.
But was any of it a surprise when he spent the last few years faking it till he made it?
“With Paige?” Andrew asked as he looked around at his circle of friends. “Damn, James, how did you even get that slut to go on a date with you?”
James shrugged with a fake smile. “I dunno either. She was into me, and then we just...did it.” He still cringed at the idea of it, but he tried his best to not show his true feelings as he stood in front of Andrew’s friends.
“Jimmy Miller can get that slut laid?” one of the guys said. “A-ma-zing. What was it like?”
“Um…”
Carter cut in, “It was really good, wasn’t it? And did she leave you and fuck the next guy?”
James looked at each of their faces. “I, um...I don’t know if she…did it...with anyone else. But it’s just a one-time thing. We’re not dating or anything like that.” He shrugged, when really he felt even worse for Paige as he lied his way through this. He couldn’t even tell if the rumor was working so far.
Then one other guy said, “I didn’t think you’d do it, James. That just doesn’t sound like you.”
“If you don’t believe me, ask Paige,” James said, starting to sweat. This was his only chance to prove himself, and he couldn’t screw it up.
“Nah, it sounds like her,” Carter said. “She fucked me up before I even understood what sex was. That bitch hasn’t changed.”
Though it pained James to hear Carter continue lying about Paige, at the same time he was relieved that Carter was helping convince the guys that the rumor was real.
James leaned his back against a wall, ignoring the guys’ conversation about Paige. She really was gonna hate him forever for this. Her words still echoed in his brain.
“Don’t start any more drama with me ever again. Even if it’s drama that you’re just kinda involved in. I don’t care. Just get off my back about stuff like this in the future. Okay?”
Then one guy he only vaguely recognized approached him. “I think I know you. Didn’t you used to be friends with that Selah girl? You know, the one that had a lot of foster parents ‘cause her real parents died?”
James straightened and stared at the boy. “She’s not my friend anymore.”
The boy’s eyes widened. “Why?”
“We’re just not.”
James definitely had his reasoning behind why their friendship was in the past now. The simple version was that she left. The complicated version was that when he visited her house to try to talk to her, she didn’t even come out to see him. In the worst way possible, his best friend broke it off without saying a word.
Even after a few weeks passed, he still didn’t know why she avoided him. He only got the message that she suddenly didn’t like him and wanted to put everything they did together behind them.
And when his only true friend left him, he had to completely change himself to get friends that he knew would like the new James. This rumor, though hurting Paige, was helping him. What was done was done.
But for the last time, he just had to wonder why Selah Wynters disappeared without a trace.
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