Around noon, he had come in like he told me. He said to get my coat on and the hiking boots he had stored in the closet. I didn’t know why, but I did. I put the kitty in my room, giving him food and water, and closing the door on the way out. When I entered the living room, I saw William with a bow and arrow in his hands. I gulped, my face turning pale.
“Come on,” he said.
I shook my head, now wanting to go with him. He was going to kill me, punish me for what I had done. I was starting to shake.
“Come on Tavi, losing daylight.”
He started to head out the door, waiting for me. Slowly I caught up with him. He had rope in his hands, and tight my hands together. He mumbled something on the lines of, “I don’t trust you.”
He pulled me along with him. It was snowing pretty heavy outside. It was making my hair wet, making me feel like gravity was working against me. We walked around in circles it felt like. I wondered if he was looking for a cliff to push me off of.
“William,” I nervously asked. “Where are we going?” He didn’t say anything. I started to cry. “William . . .”
He shushed me. He was going to kill me. I knew he was. “I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry. I won’t-”
He turned around, and put finger on lips. Then whispered, “You’re going to scare away the deer.”
He turned around and pulled me along. I looked around, looking for deer. I couldn’t find anything but the snow. Suddenly, William stopped, and forced me to duck down. We were hiding behind some bushes. I watched him, watched him focus. It was an amazing sight to be honest. He rested the rope on the ground. I wasn’t about to take off. He had his bow and arrow ready. I peaked over the bush to see what he was going to hit.
It was the doe from my dream.
She looked so peaceful, so graceful. She was not ready to die. I saw her stomach. She was pregnant. Before I could shout at William, he let go of the arrow, and strike the doe. She seemed to have yelped, and cried as she fell to the ground. In the end, she accepted death for her and her unborn baby. She closed her eyes and let the snow pile on top of her. William looked proud.
“She was carrying a baby,” I said, tears coming to the surface of my eyes.
He turned to me and said, “She died because of you. You know that, right? If you hadn’t smashed all the food, she would still be alive, along with her baby.”
I looked up, mouth hung open, not sure what to say. I didn’t say anything. I just watched the snow turn from pure white to blood red. I can’t stop thinking about that deer. She did die because of me. It was my entire fault.
He carried it back to the shed with him, after making me go inside. I cuddled with my new kitty, and he embraced me. Hope, my new cat’s name was Hope.
ns 15.158.61.51da2