He had made me a crappy cake for my birthday. I didn’t ever think last year I would be spending my birthday with a mad man. Yet, there I was. He put candles in the chocolate cake.
He sang me ‘Happy Birthday’ as he handed me the cake. I didn’t know what to do. When he was done, I blew out the candles and he clapped his hands. He didn’t realize what my wish was. If he did, he wouldn’t have been so happy with me.
I just turned red. I wasn’t sure what to say. He cut the cake and gave me a piece on a plate. I ate it with the kitty trying to smell it. William gently pushed him out of my lap. I frowned at him.
“What did you wish for?”
“World peace, oh darn, not coming true now thanks to you,” I joked. He smiled.
“Very funny Tavi,” he rolled his eyes, but not the way that made me feel like hitting him. He laughed from his belly, which made him shake like California earthquakes. “Do you like the cake?”
“Yeah, thank you.”
“You’re welcome kitten.”
“How did you know today as my birthday?”
He paused. “Did you want to know?”
I didn’t reply, not sure if I was even mentally ready.
“So, the search for me . . . how is that going?” I asked, with tension in my voice. He knew I was going to ask, and there was no use in getting pissed off when you were curious and scared at the same time.
“They called it off,” he said digging into his cake. He didn’t look me in the eyes. I couldn’t believe anything a monster told me, because they tell you things you don’t want to hear, and they wait to prey on you.
Once they got you, you were trapped forever. That’s why I couldn’t let him get into my head. I turned away.
I had a feeling in my stomach that just told me he was lying. His eyes were the windows to his dark evil soul. They couldn’t have given up that easy, I was missing. They had to find me. “You’re lying.”
“Tavi,” he cut me off.
I raised my voice, “No, it’s my birthday; didn’t you ever think that I wanted to spend it with my family?”
“I am your current family member, how about that?”
I laughed. “You, part of my family? You aren’t my family; you’re just the man who kidnapped me. You will never be close to anything that is on the same level of a family member. I love my family, I will never love a monster,” I said. I went on when he frowned and had teary eyes, “You know, you’re crazy.”
And it was like a cold, because I think I was catching it too.
“Tavi,” he said pleading for me to stop. His eyes were knifes, cutting into my skin and twisted my veins and organs around. How was it his words could do that, how he didn’t have to lay a finger on me, and still cause me pain?
“What?” I asked. We were silent. The clock ticked. Tick Tock. After another moment, I sighed. “Can we have something to drink? Like wine?”
“Wine?” he said with an appalling voice.
“Yeah, wine.”
He laughed. “You’re only sixteen,” he said.
“And the law matters up here because?”
He thought about it a minute. He got up with a long sigh, and went to the food storage. He came out with a bottle of wine and had an annoying look on his face that matched his tone.
“Don’t ask me what company or whatever, it’s red wine, that’s all I know, and it tastes good. I don’t need that fancy stuff like in Italian places. ” He poured the wine into two glasses, one for me, one for him. He handed me mine and held up his, “To Tavi, on her special day, to spend it with her kitty-”
“Hope, his name is Hope.”
“Hope, the kitty cat, to Tavi, Hope, and me,” he said clicking glasses. “Drink up kiddo,” he said gulping all of his at once. I put it to my mouth. Before I took a sip, he pointed at me, and said, “Just be careful, Tavi. Once you start drinking . . . it’s hard to stop.”
I took it away, and thought about it for a moment, but washed away his warning with the drink. It tasted weird, and I made a face. William gave a little laugh, but I gulped it down as much as I could. It tasted like cough syrup. I promised myself I would never drink.
Not even at 21, I didn’t want to drink. It’s not that I was a goodie-good. My mom had a sister, who I wasn’t all that close with. She drank her life away, the sister, and she was so beautiful. I saw pictures before she went downhill.
I must have looked like I was lost in thought. William asked me, “Tavi? You okay?”
“Yeah,” I lied.
He just nodded. “Okay.”
“So, what’s it going to be like from here on out? Are we friends? What are we?”
He shrugged. “I would like us to be friends.”
“You know that’s not going to happen,” I said taking another sip.
He sighed, and then said, “Fine, how about a teacher?”
“Teacher for what?”
“Life,” he answered with a shrug.
I rolled my eyes, the not-so-friendly way. “Yeah, you? A teacher? I don’t think so.”
“Why couldn’t I be a teacher? Because I don’t have a college degree? Those degrees are worthless. Why do people spend thousands of dollars on a little piece of paper? I bet none of them know how to survive if the world goes to shit.
“Do they know how to grow food? Build a house? Do they know which plants can kill them? That’s really important. These teachers are worthless nowadays.”
I sighed. I had to listen to him complain again, and on my birthday. Now I understand my aunt drinking problem. It wasn’t because the taste was addicting, because wine was the most disgusting thing I have ever tasted in my life. It was draining the pain out, and I was starting to feel it.
“Thanks for the cake.”
He nodded. “Pleasure to make,” he said.
“It tasted nice,” I said starting to slur a little. He raised an eyebrow as I started to giggle. I don’t know why I was giggling, because it wasn’t funny. I felt really stupid, but God I could not stop. It made me feel like a five year old.
William was really good at making me feel immature, stupid, and weak. He didn’t have to say one word, and he could destroy me. He was really good at what he did.
“You okay?”
I nodded. “I’m fine,” I said taking another sip. I wanted to drink gallons of wine, until I was good and drunk.
“Maybe you should stop with the wine,” he said trying to take my glass, but I pulled it in toward me.
“No!” I yelled. I just glared at his big hands.
He sighed, and I actually felt disappointment from him. “Here, stand up.”
I took his offered hand, and stumbled up. I ran into him, and felt his arms wrap around me. He was starting to laugh. “Jesus, you’re a light weight.”
“No, you’re a lightweight,” I teased him. The wine was making me feel relaxed. The first time in a long time, I didn’t feel so scared. “This drink is wonderful.”
“It’s just two sips,” he laughed.
“Yeah, and it makes you not look so gross,” I laughed really hard.
He rolled his eyes, let go of me, but he started laughing. “You want some music?”
“You have. . .you have the music?” I stuttered.
“Yeah,” he walked over to the fireplace, and pulled out a speaker. When he wasn’t looking, I poured some more wine into my drink, and gulped it all down in one sip. He turned around as the music started playing. It sounded like an oldies song, maybe from the 70’s. “Do you want to dance?”
I laughed, harder than I should have. “I don’t dance.”
“Yes you can, I know you can.”
I shook my hand, “No, no, no.”
“Come on, Tavi. It’ll be fun,” he said as he started to shake his hips. It was so funny to see him let lose a bit. He rolled his hands together, dancing around in his little spot. I started to laugh at him. It was sight for sure. “See, if I can dance, you can dance.”
“You can’t dance, that’s just silly,” I said through my laughter.
He kept going, moving closer to me. “Come on,” he tugged on my arm. “Come on, Tavi.”
“No,” I tried to pushing him away. He took both my arms, and pulled me into the living room. I watched my feet stepping all over the place, trying to gain control somewhere. “William, please, I can’t dance.”
He put his finger to his lips, telling me to be quiet, “Move a little, it’ll be okay.”
He danced with me like you would with a little toddler, by shaking their arms, trying to make them dance. I was giggling, crying, laughing, screaming. It was all so much. I wanted to have fun, let lose, just be free, but it was him. I ended up dancing a little bit. The third sip of wine was hitting me for sure.
“There you go Kitten!” he said with excitement. The song ended, and changed to a slower song. I never heard of it before, but William must have loved it because he was singing along word for word.
He held my hands, and pulled me in closer. I let him do what he wanted. The wine made me not care. I focused on the words as my head rested on his chest.
“Tavi,” he whispered in my ear. I didn’t reply, I just closed my eyes, imaging I was home. “I love you, Tavi.”
I stopped, making him copy. I took my head off his chest, and looked up. There was something in his eyes, and I wasn’t sure how to take it. He took his hand, and touched my cheek, rubbing it softly. “William . . . what. . . what are.”
“I just want you to know you’ve made my life so much better.”
“That’s. . . no,” I was starting to get dizzy. “That’s wrong.”
His thumb moved over to my lips. “I’ve watched you grow into a beautiful young woman.”
He lean his head down, getting closer to my face, closer to my lips. I realized what he was doing, and pushed him. “No!” I screamed. He let go of my face, and looked scared.
“Tavi?” he asked nervously.
“NO! What the hell is wrong . . . what the hell is wrong with you man! What are you doing-“
“Tavi, don’t overreact.”
My eyes grew wide, “You can’t kiss me!”
“I . . . wasn’t,” he said, knowing it was a lie.
“This, this,” the music was starting to annoy me. “This is wrong! You-u-u-u wrong!”
“Tavi, you’re drunk, you’re not making any sense.”
“Dirty! Dirty old man! Fuck you!”
He grabbed my arm hard, making me tense up. I started to gag. “Tavi-“
I threw up on the floor before he could finish.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
