I couldn’t really sleep after having another nightmare. When I saw that it was around five in the morning, I got out of bed and walked out the room and walked down the hallway. Down the end of the hallway, the craft room light was on; making me want to glimpse in.
William was painting. I wasn’t sure what he was painting, but it was colorful and big and so pretty.
He didn’t know I was there. I was lying on the floor watching him, trying not to breathe so loudly. When he painted, he painted hard and long.
He stroked the canvas and became a wizard, and I hated it, I hated how superior he was. It made me irate that he had some kind of talent and he made something as breathtaking as it was.
When he was done, after an hour, the canvas became a tree, a very big colorful tree. He stood back and looked at it. I actually liked it. He didn’t. He threw the canvas to the ground and yelled. He cursed, trying to destroy his tree. That’s when I stood up quickly.
“What are you doing?” I panicked.
He turned around, face beat red, and then embarrassed. “Tavi, how long have you been there?”
“I don’t know. I watched you paint that, and it was actually good. Why did you throw it? If I had any talent, I would keep it all.”
He stared at me, and then to the canvas that lay on the ground. “Yeah, I suppose to someone like you, it would be pretty, but to me, it’s just crap, that’s all. Crap that can’t be fixed. I used to be so much better than that.”
“Keep it,” I said. “I like it.”
He looked at me and nodded. “Okay, I’m sorry you had to see that. I'm not used to having someone around. It’s nice, though.”
My eyes drifted towards the floor, then to the canvas. It was beaten up a bit, but it still looked pretty. “Keep your art, and don’t throw them around, okay?”
He nodded. “Why do you care so much?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Come on, let’s get to bed. Well, it’s morning actually, almost. Do you want to go to sleep?” he asked. I shrugged. “Oh, wait. It’s Christmas, kiddo, I almost forgot, Merry Christmas. Wow, that’s the first time I get to say that to you. You ready to open some presents?” I shrugged again. He laughed. “Let me get a shower first, and I’ll be ready.”
I nodded. He left the room and I stared at the tree. It was bright and colorful, and just downright beautiful. I still wonder how something like that come from someone like him. I went to my room and brushed my long, nappy hair.
I cleaned my glasses and changed my clothes. I wore the peach color dress with pale green flowers on the bottom. I wore the leggings I had before. I found socks that had red flowers all over them. The angel necklace was still on me. I forgot about it till then. William got out of the shower quickly. He was wearing shabby sweat pants and a big brown sweatshirt. He reminded me of a giant wet dog. Maybe secretly, he was Bigfoot.
“You look nice,” he said walking by my room. I turned around and found him standing in the doorway.
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
He told me to stay in my room. He came in after a while. “Come out, but close your eyes.”
That’s what I did. He grabbed my hand and directed me to the living room. To make sure I wasn’t peaking, he put his hand over my eyes. When we got to the living room, he took his hand away, and let me open eyes. There were neatly wrapped presents on the coffee table, about five.
I started to think of my parents. I wanted to break down at that moment. It was too much to handle.
“Merry Christmas, Tavi,” he said. I just kept staring, I could say anything. I felt too numb. No, wait, I was exploding with emotions. William was waiting for me to speak, to say something, anything. The urge to scream was always there, ready to jump out. He went on. “What do you think kiddo?”
“Who are those for?”
He smiled, “You, you silly head.”
There were about five perfectly wrapped presents on the coffee table. Each one red or gold, shining so bright and flawless, it was all too much. My parents face came to mind, how did they feel about me being away, far away, from them. My heart started to thump so fast I thought it was going to collapse.
I just shook my head. “This is . . . I don’t,” I couldn’t get anything out. I could see his cheeks turning red. Maybe he was embarrassed too.
“Is this too much?”
Panic came out, “Yes!” I screamed. “I don’t want to have Christmas here! I want to have it with my family, not you!”
His lip started to pout, “But, I’ve been planning this for a very, very, very long time.”
“I don’t care!” I screamed.
He stared at me, not sure what to say. “Tavi, would you feel better to open up one of your presents.”
“I want to go home,” I protested. Tears were surfacing to my eyes, but I held them back.
He sighed, “You are home.”
“No! Home is where your mom and dad, and brother, and pets are! It’s where you feel welcome and warm and nice. And. . . . And you are not my family!”
He started laughing. I didn’t expect that. It threw me off. When he was done laughing, he asked me, “You can honestly look at me, and say you felt welcome, and warm, and nice, and accepted into that house of yours?”
Disbelieve spread on my face. How dare he say that? “Yes,” I said, in a tone of how-stupid-could-you-be.
“Wrong,” he said, walking pass me to the kitchen.
“Wrong?” I turned around. “What do you mean wrong? You don’t know me.”
He opened the fridge and took out a drink and sipped away. How was it he could always act so normal, like everything in the world was okay? After he was done, he wiped his mouth, and put the drink back. He had a goofy look on his face. “You’re so cute when you’re angry.”
I just crossed my arms, just to make myself bigger than the bear. He just moved through the kitchen to the living room, as if he were a dancer, till he got to the couch and smiled up at me. “And you’re wrong, very wrong. They don’t care about you, Tavi.”
My heart dropped. “Liar,” I said in a whispered.
He narrowed his eyes. “Tell me one time, one time, that your whole family didn’t mock you, your dreams, or your views, that they didn’t make you feel unwelcome, tell me one time they all truly hugged you and told you that they loved you will all their hearts, and they couldn’t live without you. Does your mother actually love you? Isn’t your dad always busy with work? And what friends do you have? I know you Tavi.”
A few seconds went by. “How,” my voice was so soft, “do you know me?”
“That doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters, and you need to know this, is that I care about you most in this world. You should feel lucky.”
I stared at him for the longest time and shook my head. I started to walk backward until I hit the wall. That’s when I ran away to my room, slammed the door and cried again, paced back and forward in my room, trying to make sense of the world around me. The cabin was my prison, and I was the prisoner, slowly going insane.
I flopped down on the bed and told myself go back to sleep. I didn’t remember what I dreamed. Next time my eyes opened, William was sitting on my bed.
“Tavi,” he said. He was trying to shake me to wake up. “Tavi, I’m sorry.”
I sat up and stared at him.
“Do you want to come and open your presents now?” he asked. I sighed.
“I miss my family. They are having Christmas without me.”
“But you’re having Christmas with me,” he smiled.
“What makes you better?” I asked.
“Better presents,” he joked.
I narrowed my eyes, and sighing, “You can’t buy someone’s love, William. The world doesn’t work that way.”
“Sad news for you, kiddo, but it does. People are easily bought,” he stated. I stared at him and glared at him for the longest time.
“I can’t be bought with presents,” I said.
“Okay, it works for everyone but you, I suppose,” he said looking away. He got up. “Please open some presents, let this be a happy day, and we’ll have a good Christmas, please.”
I sighed and got out of bed. He reached out his hand, but I didn’t take it. I got ahead of him and walked to the living room with him only two steps behind me.
He was smiling. I know he was. He led me to the couch and made me sit down as he handed me some of the presents. He got the camera out and took a picture or two. The gifts were simple: Two really nice dresses, some nice brown wool socks, a very fuzzy hat with cat ears on them, and a sewing machine.
“Do you like them?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I said.
“Good. What do you say?”
“Thank you,” I said looking to the floor.
“You’re welcome, kitten,” he smiled. He kissed me on top of the head and then cleaned up the living room that was flooded with wrapping paper. I stared at my dresses. They were nice and soft, long sleeved. The soft peach colored one had a peter pan collar, while the other one had blue flowers all over.
My eyes drifted to him, thoughts swimming. When he caught me, he smiled, and cocked his head. Before he could speak, I asked, “How did you know they were my size?”
“Guessed,” he said, frowing.
“You want me to guess or did you guess?” I was confused.
“No, I mean, I just guessed, that was all.”
“Okay and-”
“Tavi, you more than likely know all the answers to your questions. Do you want me to answer any of them? Honestly?”
I sighed. “No,” I mumbled.
“So, stop asking,” he ordered as he placed all the Christmas paper in the trash. I just nodded and sat on the couch. I was thinking what was going on at home. I wondered if my family had gone ahead and opened up their presents.
I tried not to think what they did with mine, but then I remember I more than likely just got a gift card and that was all. A gift card to some clothing store I didn’t really care for. My family was like that. They gave you money, not things. I rather someone gave me something besides money.
The best stuff was homemade stuff. In a way, people you are giving you their time, and that is the most valuable thing you could give to a person. Homemade gifts are special because someone took the time to make it. But in the end, any gift is special I suppose. A thought of someone else besides that person is a rare gift in today’s society. “What you thinking about?” he asked me.
“Stuff,” I said. He nodded as if he was really reading my mine.
“Merry Christmas,” he said.
“Merry Christmas,” I mumbled.
“Take your things to your room, okay?” he told me in a soft tone. I gathered up everything, and took them to my room. Once inside, the tears were allowed to escape. The thought of him seeing me like this, tears following, made me uneasy. The thoughts had to be pushed away, so I tried to keep myself busy by placing my presents in areas I thought that fit best.
When I got to the dresses, I picked the blue one and looked in the mirror. I held it up, and had to admit to myself it was a very pretty dress. A laugh from the doorway startled me. It was him. “I thought you would like that.”
I froze, thinking off all the times he must have been in the shadows, watching me. I was shaking, but I tried to not show it. He started lunch. We had deer and green beans and stuffing and all that great stuff.
Though, the deer taste really funny. I wonder if it’s because he hunts the deer instead of going to the store. After lunch, we sat by the fire. I read as he went around the house fixing things up. He put more wood in the fire.
Dinner rolled around and it looked like some classic Christmas postcard. He made me pray before we ate. I was too scared of him to protest so I just closed my eyes and pretended.
I felt weird praying before dinner, but my family would have made me anyways. They would have forced me to say something in front of everyone too. At least William didn’t make me. He said the words he wanted and then we ate.
That was how I spent Christmas with a monster.
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