I have decided that today is the day. I must make my move, I must ask Ruth if she will help me.
There is some part of me that fills me with anxiety. Ruth has never been violent, she likely will never be violent. At least not to me, she loves me. But some part of me is so very scared, so scared that she will dismiss me, or get angry, or do something.
I should never be scared. My mother taught me to never be scared, least of all of family members. Ruth is my sister, my older sister. She is supposed to protect me. She is supposed to be the one that I love, that I can tell everything to.
Obviously, this didn't happen.
I cannot help but be a bit upset by this, but I plan on turning that upset into emotion. Into anger.
She will regret this, if she turns me down. I will get my way. I have no other way, this is how I will win. How I get my revenge for always being forgotten, for always being left. This is my attempt at finally getting even, I think. And I cannot wait
ns 18.68.41.177da2
