I walk away and go to look out at the water shocked that I just witness that. I should of went to see him but cant find the words that would bring him comfort right now he feels regected, betrayed and in pain. There's nothing I could of said to console him, so I ran. I haven't seen my brothers face like that in a long time. I had begun to thought he became numb to heartache, disappointment,pain iv never heard him say I love you to anyone but me and our parents the day they died. I now know he hurts just like anybody else. I realize that he did feel heartache of when we weren't on good terms or when thinking I was dead or ran away, it must of hurt him deeply,as it would for me if it was the other way around. "Lindsey, Rudy comes up to me and hugs me and I hug him back firmly as I put my arms around his shoulders then rest my head on his shoulder. I close my eyes peacefully, I never knew how glad I am to be back untill this moment of being comfortably in his arms. He firmly has his arms wrapped around my waist and rests his nose in the crook of my neck and kisses it ever so softly making me shiver. After several long moments he lets go and I see this bright amazing smile on his face and gliss of happiness in his eyes. 

Suddenly, my heart sinks and my guilt sinks in and ruins the perfect moment we just had. " are you okay? I was worried sick, I'm so happy your back, iv missed you" he says sincerly as his Hands remain resting on my hips. I slowly back up with my head down. "Lindsey what's wrong?" He ask suddenly concerned as he puts a hand on my chin lighty bring my face up to make me look at him as I stare dreadfully at him for a moment un able to speak to ruin his hope in me.