I bite my lip and look away shaking my head in disbelief and anger builds up then I look at her again as my blood boiled. "stop it, I lost my best friend... because I had to choose, because you couldn't accept her... I let her go for the sake of proving I love you, and wanted you" I exclaimed un easy ."Oh so I'm the bad guy, I understand it hurts but I needed to know you wanted me, and just me and I'm sorry she ended up leaving town I didn't ask for that, but I realize now that while I want to move forward with you, your still are mourning over her" she says hurtfully. She looks at me dreadfully. "I'm sorry but I can't be with you, I dont want to be the girl who made you lose your bestfriend who you may or may not love, but I do know you dont love me the way I want to be loved while she's always in the back of your mind real love doesnt waver, it only gets stronger within time...goodbye Roman" she says with tears falling from her face. Then she just walks away. My heart sank and tears went down my face. I felt hopeless un able to say anything from the sudden shock.
After my swim I go and check on Danny watching the gate and then lay in my hut and think how I should of went after her but I wouldn't even no what to say. I did love her but that wasn't enough because I had loved my best friend Tessa as well but didnt want to admit it to myselt or Diana. So I let her walk away. I hate myself for not being able to commit and lost them both but this will be the last night I lay awake letting it hurt and continue missing them and blaming myself, no ones perfect. I will put my memories of them to rest and keep moving forward, I can't change what has already been done, I just have to learn to live with it. I wont dwell on the past. I need to focus on doing what needs to survive now.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
