“What are you two pussies doing here?” Sergeant Darth roared startling the recruits who stood up straight and saluted him.
“We…we have found Private Alice sir.” One of them replied.
“At ease.” Serge folded his arms and glared at them. “Well, where is she?”
All the recruits gave side glances to each other before one coughed and pointed up. The minute the Serge looked up, drool fell on his right eye but he could spot her asleep on the branch high above him.
“Should I wake her up Serge?” asked one recruit.
“No.”
The recruits shivered at the tone of the Sergeant’s voice and were shocked when they saw the sadistic look on his face.
“Bring me an axe.”
Alice was having a happy dream when a huge thud woke her up and when it happened again, she held on the branch she was on, looked down and panicked.
“Uh, Serge? Couldn’t you wait until I am down from the tree before you chop it?” she asked.
“Oh don’t worry!” the Sergeant yelled still wearing that sadistic grin on his face. “I am making it easier for you!”
Alice began to scream for help as the Serge continued to cut through the stem of the tree with the axe on his hand.
Luckily the General came just in time. “What are you doing son?”
Alice looked down and heaved a sigh of relief but that was soon turned into a scream when she heard the sound of a chainsaw.
“We also use our heads in the Military Boy!” the General yelled above the noise.
“Point taken sir!” the Serge yelled back.
Knowing her goose was cooked, Alice held on to the tree’s branch and screamed as the tree fell along with her.
A few hours later…
“No words could describe the sense of loss we have encountered this day. May her soul rest in peace.”
All the soldiers sighed and nodded their heads until the General yelled, “ALL RIGHT YOU SISSIES, FILE OUT OF HERE! PRIVATE ALICE, I WANT THAT STUMP GONE BY THE TIME I INSPECT THIS PLACE TOMORROW OR I AM LITTERALLY GOING TO LET SERGEANT DARTH ON YOU AND WE ALL KNOW HE STILL HAS THE AXE.”
So with nothing but a broken pickaxe, Private Alice walked passed the small funeral party held for the tree and proceeded to remove the stump.
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