Ashlynn let go of my shirt and began to walk into the lot.
"Were you even thinking when you told him to go back alone?" Ashlynn asked. "What are we going to do about my sister?"
After what I saw, I wasn't exactly comfortable sending her back to or with him. He offered no hesitation in threatening Ashlynn, and what if Ashlynn wasn't around to protect her in the future if I sent her back? Yet, the only other option was to let her stay with Ashlynn. Had Ashlynn been ready for that? Would she even want that? The question, for one, wasn't a closed-ended yes or no question - rather, it wasn't up to us.
My reasoning was simple: I'd already made a stupid mistake once in my life, and I wasn't going to let another one happen, not if I had a say in it.
I took a drag of the cigarette, and decided not to tread on shaky waters about her mother's whereabouts. "She either stays with you, or goes back with him, right?"
"Well, yeah." Ashlynn nodded, now walking backwards. "I mean, I would prefer her to stay with me, but I just can't afford that. I can barely afford to feed myself sometimes."
"First of all, tell me if you need food or something. Idiot." I flicked her forehead, just enough to give her a little pain. "I was actually thinking about something the other day, I didn't really get too far with it, though."
After I had added up what we were both paying for nightly stays at the hotel, we ended up paying equal to two months rent in a normal, two-bedroom apartment. That had been something I looked a little into afterwards, and it had turned out to actually be a little cheaper. I hadn't brought it up for a simple reason, how would that have sounded to her? Saying it was better from a financial standpoint made me sound uncaring, yet saying that I had wanted to move in with her to spend more time together might have been moving things a bit fast. Had it been appropriate to bring up, given the situation?
Ashlynn took my cigarette. "I don't have anything better."
"Why don't we just move into an apartment?" I asked, throwing out another 'fuck it' moment. "Something with two rooms is pretty much the same as what were both paying. That'll give your sister her own room. It just seems to-"
"I'm okay with that." Ashlynn stopped and exhaled the smoke, and then pointed her eyes to the restaurant at the far end of the lot. "She's in this one, if I still know her at all."
Walking up the ramp-styled path and into the lightly filled restaurant, I had spotted her sister almost immediately, sitting at a booth alone with a pair of headphones in her ears as she read something. It had almost seemed as if she was used to being this way, distracting herself in her lonesome. I had known that all too well, myself. More than likely, I had come up with new ways to distract myself when alone. I was a pretty original kid, if I do say so myself.
I had constantly been alone, and had constantly found things to do - I used my imagination to create a some alternate universe you would see in an anime, or even a fantasy novel. Now, whether that had been escapism or distracting myself was a different story altogether. It was the same in this case; I had been able to tell by just the way she sat that she was used to this, being ignored and wanting to be alone. It was obvious to anyone who knew.
Much like myself, she would slump over and use her long, dark hair to hide herself away from prying eyes. Eye contact was like facing a hurricane, talking was like going through an apocalypse, and hugging or kissing was was about as realistic as spontaneous combustion - sex was like belly flopping off of the Empire State Building and living, impossible. Maybe I had just been introverted to an extreme extent, but I had known that we were somewhat similar.
I sat down across from her, which had clearly given her something of a jolt as she gave a slight bounce. Ashlynn came up to the table, and pulled her sister's headphone out as she tapped her arm with the back of her fingers. Girl-speak had prevailed as her sister scooted inwards without so much as a word to her. Ashlynn continued to look at her sister as she wrapped her headphones around the phone itself before sticking it back into her pocket.
"...You're Aiden?" she asked, reminiscent of a female Ben Stein.
"Or Cyrus, yeah. Yours?" I answered, looking at Ashlynn only to receive a shoulder shrug.
"Danielle." she glared at me before lowering her head, her glossy black hair took over for her face. "Can you guys stop trying to be nice to me? Can you just tell me what's going to happen?"
"Well, it's your choice. You can go back with your dad eventually, if you want." I brushed my hair back, leaning into the seat. "...Ashlynn and I were talking about moving into an apartment. You're more than welcome to come."
Just as it had appeared that she was going to say something, a waitress had come up to the table and looked around at all three of us. Smiling like a porcelain zombie, she began to hand out the menus and then pulled out her notepad, followed up with a dark blue pen. Starting with me, I thought for a second and had decided on coffee, even if it had been somewhat late in the afternoon. Ashlynn had shook her head, implying no.
"...And what about you?" she asked.
"Coke." she muttered, sending the waitress off in flurry.
"Danielle. Do you want to move in or stay with your dad?"
"I stay here." she spoke on the verge of mumbling. "...and call me something else. It sounds weird when you say my name."
"Hey." Ashlynn lightly back-handed her arm.
Obviously it hadn't been normal at all, but had this been what normalcy felt like? Just sitting around and talking had been fun? It hadn't even been fun, it had just been normal. There had been no drama, no fighting, or even crying at that moment. It had been just like when I was a kid, and I could see my mom and dad laughing as they cooked or watched television. Had this been what they felt, had this been what they had intended to teach their child before their world fell apart?
How long had it been since I felt like I could have sat in complete silence with someone and not felt the need to speak about something? Had it been because of her, the people I had met, or had I just gotten used to sitting in the silence? As of late, even I had noticed that everything was slowly coming together around me. After Ava had so suddenly dumped me, I had went on another downward spiral. I had feasted on any girl that had been willing, and destroyed myself with drug cocktails.
I had, once again, began to fall out of control. Yet, every time I had been ready to fall into the pool of my own darkness, I was held away - pulled away from drowning in an abyss of my own guilt and sins. Had it been Ashlynn that always pulled me away, or had it been something else, someone else? Would the woman who sat in front of me stay in front of me?
"Gross." Danielle looked at me. "Stop eye-fucking my sister."
"Oh?" I sneered, smirking mockingly. "Sounds fun, but I'd rather have the real thing later."
**
Some time had passed since that afternoon. Danielle had been officially transferred, after I had been forced to use some finesse along with a little bribery and talking to the right people. In the end, it had only taken a few days for it to all go through - the same amount of time it had taken to get her clothes shipped to the hotel room. With that, I had found myself in front of what had been my old junior high.
The same place I met my first girlfriend, the same place I'd fallen in love. Even it had been so long ago, I was only able to remember Kylie when I saw this place. Every memory of Kylie had all been because of this school. Every year of happiness that Kylie had stolen was because of this school. Yet, would I have experienced that level of happiness if it hadn't been because of this school? Would I have experienced anything if it hadn't been for this school?
"It's small." she spoke as I walked up to the fence with her. "Do like five people go here or something?"
"Welcome to this shithole. Everything is small and fake." I muttered, not expecting her to get it at all. "It's personal, though. If you meet friends, they're going to be good ones. That's a big if, though."
"Aren't you just talking shit about me?" she exposed her sharp eyes to me. "I can handle myself, and I can handle being by myself. It's not like it'll be new."
Those sharp eyes were beyond alone, but more along the lines of distrusting than disheartened. Her eyes said that she had given up on people, and the only thing that left was anger. Had it been because of her father, or was there been more to the story? Rather, why had I cared any? Had it been my place to question her feelings and views, did I have any right saying anything about it? I hadn't been her father, or a parent.
All I was to her was a guardian, and that was used loosely in itself. What I had truly been was a jobless teenager with nothing more than a lot of money and a girlfriend to his name. Why would she have listened to me at all, especially over her sister? I was worthless in the eyes of the regular world, workforce and education alike. I had no reason to be taken seriously by anyone.
"Your choice." I answered, looking back at Ashlynn. "My advice is that if anyone fucks with you, just stab them with a pencil or something sharp and close. It'll scare those types of people away. Throwing a chair at them isn't a half bad idea, either."
"Have you done that?" I could have sworn I had heard a slight giggle. "...I'll keep that in mind."
Just like that, she had walked into the school and disappeared as the bell rung. As I headed back to Ashlynn, I was left wondering why I had gone up with her. Why hadn't Ashlynn done it herself, given that it was her sister? While I hadn't considered it a big deal, it had left me curious. Had they not gotten along? If that had been the case, then why had she wanted her to stay?
Ashlynn met me at the opening of the fence. In a pair of tight jeans and a loose-fitting scooped top, her athletic form had been somewhat hidden from prying eyes, but anyone who had known her could tell that she never truly showed it off. She had always exercised for health, and never for beauty. While I had considered them the same, she hadn't. I had no reason to argue her feelings on it anyways.
"She never really talks to me, or anyone." Ashlynn had seemed to read my mind. "She's talked to you more than I've seen her talk to anyone."
"Why?" I burped, pulling out my phone to call a taxi.
"She wasn't like this until she started middle school. I think she was getting bullied." Ashlynn leaned against the fence. "I've asked and all she does is push me away, so maybe a change of scenery will be good for her?"
"She's fighting her own demons." I answered, starting to understand a bit more. "Let her be, for now."
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