She was right. If she had said something, anything - everything would have been different - or the same, just with differences. It had ended with our inability to be honest with each other. We had always held small, important details close to the chest and never exposed them. However, if the foundation has cracks, then the structure will implode because of it. Maybe that had been us, or maybe it hadn't, but we both knew we were done. That much was obvious, especially when she was unable to tell me something as important as that.
"It's going to be awkward if you're with Ashlynn and we can't even be friendly." Ava let go as I heard her set down the beer. "It's kind of weird. But if it isn't going to be me, then at least it's her. She deserves someone who'll treat her well."
"I should've died tonight." I gave a light chuckle. "It's just making me wonder, how close have I been with death?...I remember when thought I was going to get hassled by the police once, and I had like four xannies on me. I popped all of em' and it fucking tilted me hard, almost thought I Peep'd myself until I woke up soaked in a park. There has been a few times where I've had a gun pointed at me, and this list goes on. When will it all catch up with me, and finally catch me?"
"When you die, you die. It's that simple. So, stop looking for it and enjoy what you can." Ava got off of the table.
"You have someone waiting for you, don't you?"
**
With my eyes closed, all I could hear was the birds chirping and the sounds of variously sized cars driving by. I opened my eyes to find myself sitting in a chair on the patio, and my neck had let me know it, too. Feeling the vicious crack echo throughout my neck and skull, I lifted my head up to find myself covered with a small blanket. How drunk had I gotten to willingly pass out on the patio of my own apartment, where there had been a comfortable bed to sleep in?
Leaning forward as a slight breeze hit me, it came back to me. It had been on the ugly side of one in the morning, and I hadn't wanted to wake them up by drunkenly walking around and making a bunch of noise. So, I had just decided to just chill on the porch and take in the cool nighttime air. It had been a nice night, and worst case scenario had been getting pooped on by a bird - or you know, getting taken advantage of.
Yawning, I stretched out my upper-body as I had been pleasantly surprised to see Ashlynn walk out with a pair of coffee mugs in her hands. In her typical attire of a black tank top and jean shorts, she came out, and set down the mugs on the wall before she turned with a crooked smile. I took her hand and pulled her closer until she had fallen onto my knee. Even through my beer breath and bedhead, she had maintained a smile. That was something amazing, in and of itself.
"Mack stayed the night while you were out getting messed up." Ashlynn turned herself, giving me a hard time. "I can kind of understand, so I'm going to leave you alone about it. I'll forgive you if you just go brush your teeth."
"Four Loko, maybe?" I stood up and carried Ashlynn to the wall, setting her down on top of it as I leaned into her. "It's not that bad, though, is it?"
"It seriously is." she pressed her palm into my face for a quick second, smiling as she moved it away. "But fine...Only because I love you."
Brushing her hair out her face, Ashlynn leaned forward and let her mouth connect with mine as her hands landed on my shoulders for balance. As she let herself fall off of the wall, she bit lightly on my lip as she pulled away. She smiled as she turned, picking up her coffee mug and taking a drink. Had I really tasted that bad, or had she really been a little angry about last night?
"Your mouth tastes like unwashed armpit." she took another drink. "I'm sorry, but I just can't stand the taste of that stuff."
What, exactly, does that taste like?
"Really? You think so?" I lit a cigarette, as I looked up at her. "What's the real reason?"
Honestly, Four Loko had always tasted like absolute dog shit, but it had gotten me fucked up pretty fast - at least in a comparative sense. So, I couldn't have blamed her for having a major dislike of it, but it had seemed as though she had more reasoning to it than just taste. Had Ashlynn had a bad experience with the stuff,, maybe? Had she known someone who had gotten hurt or killed because of it? Had someone on it tried to hurt her?
"That obvious?" she half-asked, shaking her head. "An ex-friend of mine came to school drunk with that stuff and tried to force himself on me. The thing is, he wasn't the type to even do it. He was always more like an abused cat, kinda skittish."
"He sounded like a desperate guy who was willing to burn bridges for sex, with the help of alcohol." I retorted. "It's the same thing as the gun argument. Guns don't kill, people do - alcohol doesn't do things, it's the people that do."
Ashlynn took my hand and lightly interlaced her fingers with my left hand, she spoke. "You always downplay it, but you're smart, Aiden. Use your head more, and you might go places. Farther than I could ever go."
Using my fingers, I brushed her hair behind her ear. Her hair had been like silk as my fingers sliced through it like butter, phased by nothing. It had been at that moment that she was the only thing I saw, her brown hair and eyes contrasting with the brightness of the nearly white sky behind her. When had it gotten so bright out? It had been just a moment ago that it was a it a crystal clear cyan.
Ashlynn stood in place - smiling as she looked back at me while everything had continued to lose color, becoming white before my eyes, fading away. I reached out towards Ashlynn, but she only continued to smile, a motionless, ghostly expression. It was as though she had become a doll before my eyes, lifeless and still, empty and hollow. Screaming her name on resulted in silence, no sound had remained.
Then everything vanished. There was nothing, nowhere.
"...."
.
.
.
.
**
Where was I?
With heavy eyes and barely able to move my head, I looked around and could see shades of red and green, along with the off-white of the walls. What had given away the location was a sound that I had been all too used to hearing - the beeping of the heart monitor. So, I had been in a hospital room? Why, what had happened to me? The last thing I had seen was everything going white and disappearing, and that included Ashlynn. Had she been here?
As I began to push myself up, a pain like no other had shot through my arm. My eyes shot down at my arm, where I'd been given a wordless at the sight - and even then, that could've been a serious understatement. My arm looked like it belonged to a sickly child. Tracing up my arm, my eyes had caught onto my hair, which had grown well past my shoulders and was nearing the middle of my back. Completely lost, I looked around the room but saw nothing that gave away a date or time. There had only been the heart monitor and a covered window. Had this really been a hospital?
Why had I looked skinnier than before? How come I had looked so frail, so small? What happened to me, had I lost blood or something? Had I been abducted by aliens? With what had felt like all of my strength, I had been able to pull myself up and forward onto the bed, but my legs had felt like they had no strength in them. I had been able to move them, but not lift them. What the hell happened to me? What the hell was going on? Was this a prank? The hair was somewhat explainable, but what happened to my weight and any kind of muscle mass that I did have?
Running my left hand over my right arm, even through the sharp pains, I had been able to feel the bone. There, I had noticed that my nails had been filed down along with what felt like a fresh coat of lotion on my skin. However, the biggest surprise came right at that very second - I had no tattoos on my body. All of my tattoos were nowhere to be seen. Had I really been abducted by aliens? Had I been sent to some parallel universe?
As I had continued to study the fresh skin on my body and the long brown hair that fell over my shoulders, the door to the room had opened. After the door had been opened, a brief moment of silence had passed before a loud crashing had almost scared the literal shit out of me. On the ground had been a broken mug and saucer, which had seemed to hold coffee and some kind of bread respectively. Following the form of the body, it clearly hadn't been Ashlynn. It was someone else entirely. Someone way too familiar. The form, the person in front of me was the answer to every last question I had.
An answer that had been made impossibly obvious.
"...Aiden?"
ns 15.158.61.6da2
