Lines of Love ( Part two)
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/Gina/
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I was always tired after work and I know it's negatively affecting our relationship. I can see it in her face every day and it hurts me I know how much she takes on for me. My mother's health has taken most of my concern and the bathhouse has become another thing that helps her. I tried to find time but I never could I missed so many dinners and dates with Astra, it's like we're becoming distant and it's my fault. But even so, I know her routine and schedule and she's always there when I wake up in the morning so why now. I panicked I searched and called out to her drastically because this was what it's like in my nightmares, she's just gone and I couldn't handle that.
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So I sat down slowly crying hoping it's just another nightmare and ill wake up with her next to me. I can't let this go on any longer I have to try harder, I repeat these words but I don't know-how. That's when she walks in the front door I didn't hesitate I just ran to her crying holding her as tight as I could.
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Astra; " Hey Gina it's okay what happened.?"
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Gina; " This isn't a nightmare, you didn't leave me right.?"
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Astra; * Hey bone of that come on, I'm not going anywhere what happened.?"
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Gina; " I had this repeating nightmare for a while where you are just gone and I'm terrified ill wake up and it'll be true. When you were not next to me when I woke up I panicked. Where did you go?"
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Astra; " I'm sorry I called Joy and went out to talk to her about my mother showing up. I needed advice and I know her relationship with her mothers not good. I'm sorry"
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I had questions but she told me to calm down first so she took me to the living room. That's where she told me how she net her mom and what she wanted. She also told me how stressed she's been with everything and how she's been trying to carry as much of my burdens as she could. I felt horrible we never communicated because life got in the way and now we are apologizing to each other, we both are afraid to lose the other.
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Gina; " I'll make time for us and we will talk more I promise Astra."
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Astra; " I know just don't exert yourself too much your mother still needs you."
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She was right but this was far too scary and this is something I need to do for us. I gave her a soft kiss heading off to take a shower before starting my day. While the water poured over me I couldn't help a lingering thought I left unspoken it felt like jealousy or envy towards Joy. I just have to do better going forward.
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When I arrived at the bathhouse I started cleaning and organizing everything for the usual customers. This place was peaceful for them so we got a lot of elderly business during the morning time and evening is when the younger crowd comes in. My mother always came around eleven and stayed with me till closing some days. Before too long, it was time to open and start the long day ahead of me.
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Throughout the day everything was smooth sailing and when my mother came she still looked good. But she knew something was wrong just by looking at me and I couldn't escape her. So I started explaining everything as it came to me, I didn't know what to expect but I wanted her advice more than anything.
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Rita; " You need to make sure the one at home is taken care of before those outside your home hun. Astra is a good and strong girl but strong people break without realizing it, I'm sure she's carrying all this for you but what if she doesn't know her limits. You two have a beautiful thing don't let it get ruin on account of me, I will be just fine. Plus I have two wonderful nurse aids thanks to you two. Don't let her struggle alone because love is the one thing we can't call materialistic."
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Every word was true and it sucks I needed to hear it before I knew what I should have done already. So I decided to close the bathhouse down early and head home for dinner, I don't want to give up just because I don't know what to do. So I'm just gonna have to match Astra step for step and we will figure it out as we go forward. I got home just in time to smell the food cooking, and as I opened the door I saw her face as she sat at our dinner table. She was surprised to see me but happy all the same, I told her I closed down early to be here with her. Love is about sacrifices I guess but this ant a sacrifice like mama said, loves not materialistic.
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We sat and ate dinner enjoying one another's company, we spent so much time together today. And even went to bed together I couldn't ask for more than this perfect life I have right now. Tomorrow is gonna be my day off and Astra is gonna work a half day so she can take me out on a date, I'm so excited about tomorrow. We both have a lot of growing and learning to do but if life throws us more difficulties we will find a way through them together I'm sure.
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