Lines of Love chapter Six part 2
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Cassie/
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Joy and I will need time to recover but our relationship can survive if we try. It's not easy to admit how childish you are or how childish your views are. The world has painful things that must be conquered in their special way and this attachment Joy has to Astra is one of many. Jean and Daddy got home just in time to give me the wisdom I lack if they hadn't I wonder if I would have lost her. In the end, she came home and that's all I wanted because this bed was cold for so long. Over the next couple of days, I'm escorting Gina around shopping and our tag-along is Abigail today. She's so happy right now being able to help get things picked out and chosen for the wedding. But they haven't told us the date or time yet for this wedding so we are all curious and excited.
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" Thinking about something similar Cassie.?"
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" Huh?... What do you mean.?"
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" I see that look in your eye, imagining what it would be like. Joys a special woman most people would have run away already."
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" Yeah she is I just wish I had more experience, so I wasn't always being childish, you know?"
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" I'm like that with Astra a lot, I can't help it but neither can she. Those are our moments of weakness it's just moments of needing to feel assurance... Love decides if someone is worth it when you have the equal measure of understanding."
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" Umm... I probably shouldn't ask but I can't stop thinking about it. Did Astra tell you?"
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" If you mean the kiss with Joy, yes I know. People are weighed down by personal battles we never see, they let us in but seal off that part. But we will never realize how important those battles are till they start winning and you are losing. I kissed her brother in my moments of weakness, a battle I was losing. I should have seen how bad it hurt her but she guarded that part well. So I believed we were fine."
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" Oh, God... That's wow, do you think Joy... Do you think she would explore further than this?... Sorry, that's insensitive.."
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" Joy is in love with you Cassie and that's the part that matters most. But her battle is going to continue for a long time probably. She's dedicated to you don't let it go to waste, learn to fight back you know."
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The day continued like that and Gina has become a better friend than I thought possible. She's gone through some things but she and Astra continue pushing on. I wish I knew what my personal battle was so I could put things right. Abigail ended up choosing a purple and dark yellow trim for Gina's dress which we both had to ask her about. Apparently, Astra often told Abigail how much of a sun Gina is for her and that she often felt like a dark shadow over her brilliance. You don't expect children to pick up on things or even understand but she's so smart. I don't think I would ever know if having children would be right for us but I have seen Joy with her and I know she's perfect for it. I think it's mostly me that I fear wouldn't be able to handle it or maybe I don't wanna ruin anything. Dinner was waiting for me when I got home just like it used to be. The house is warm again and she's still here so I'm glad I didn't let this go.
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" Welcome home you look... Exhausted but still gorgeous."
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" Yeah it was a lot of walking and talking, Abigail did most of the work. God, she's such a good kid."
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" Yeah the little brat has her moments but I'm sure she negotiated her ice cream fee."
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" Oh, you have no idea how she bargained for it... Gina and I even got a little closer. She helped me pick a color that suited you so well if you... Well if uh, we, well I mean.-"
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" If we got married, Cassie?... Did you take pictures, I wanna see everything.."
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For the rest of the night, I spent in her arms talking about my plans and hers plus what I wanted and what she wanted. Things we wouldn't have happening for some time but it felt good to talk so openly about something we both want to happen. I wish I could ask her how she feels about adopting but ill save that for another time, this is enough for us right now.
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