Lines of Love; Chapter Five/ Part Five
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Stephen/
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When you run from things that terrify you one thing often remains true, you never look back. I always wanted to be like Jean but I was inadequate nor could I come close. Everything I did was frustrating which caused me to act out to think such a childish person made it this far. I never let it become a thought that my secrets would be brought to the light. But you can't outrun things at some point you will be forced to face them, let luckily I met so many wonderful people. I have learned a lot from them otherwise I might have run away again. Dan is taking this better than I thought but he's not the only one I will hit with these secrets, the others will know which is for the best. We had accomplished the reason for being here so we could go home to repair this fractured trust, but I had to see her before we left.
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Dan often came along to ensure peace but it wasn't necessary since I deserve her wrath. But it wasn't her wrath at all just a sadness that has never had a way to be free. Then seeing me pretending to be the one she loves how horrible that must have been for her. I changed my hair back and slowly returned to the identity once abandoned it's not enough but it's a start.
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'" Stephen I thought you were leaving today, come in."
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" Yes we are but I had to come by and apologize again... I'm just coming to terms with everything I ran from."
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" He loved you possibly more than he loved me. He was proud of what you tried to do even against tradition. I have you and that's the closest I will be to him and so I can not ask for an apology. So please stop apologizing I'm happy to have a piece of him back."
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" Still it feels wrong, I hurt you either way... This brings me to the question I had to ask. Are you sure about this marriage?"
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" My life was lived bound by this and then I was free once he died and you vanished. But I wasn't free at all not having him killed me, I don't do this for the old families."
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" What do you mean?"
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" You and I can change this cycle and I would get a child who bears his resemblance. This marriage would bring an end as well as a beginning for us both."
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" And Dan?... I couldn't -"
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" We are free to live and date who we please after, I'll go to war with my family and put an end to this. But they will still demand appearances be upheld till things are settled. I think a child would be the best way to honor him, a child born from love and free of traditions... Do you agree?"
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" Yeah I think that would be best... I'll handle my family or whatever may be left now. Take care Patricia"
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Sometimes we have to face our pasta to discover who we are I guess. The identity that's nothing more than a blank slate yet still a piece of me needs a chance to live. I can't continue inside the shadows of my brother forever after all I just need Dan to understand. I hope he can accept this in the future or sometime soon because I don't think I can do this alone.
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Once we got to the plane and took our seats I decided it's now or never. He has to know what was decided.
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" Did you get everything sorted.?"
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" Yeah, we agreed this would be the last time we followed old traditions... I'm gonna go through with the marriage, I'm gonna give a child to this world. But I'm gonna have them free something my brother, Patricia, and myself never had... That will be the end of these chains."
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" That's good to hear I guess-"
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" That's not all Dan, so please listen... I told her my heart belonged to another and I have to fix what was broken before I could ask for more... I want you to stay by my side until we find out if we are meant or not, would you give me that much at least.?"
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" You don't have to ask Stephen. Well I mean this entire trip was difficult but I did say we can figure us out and I at least wanna do that much... So no more lies between us going forward."
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Dan was always understanding and I couldn't ask for more than that, we will figure it out.
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It took us some time to get home but when we did an unusual sight greeted us.
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" Cassie, what's wrong?"
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Dan ran to her but I could see how much this scared him, how long did she sit in the dark like this. Why didn't she talk to us?
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" Daddy. Your home finally."
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" Yeah, I'm here so what's wrong..."
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" It's Joy... I don't think we're gonna survive like this."
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Joy what did you do.
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What happened while we were gone.
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