我站在門前許久，才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIEoUVT6svg
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nghFTV7gv
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnZaoYF5j2
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEEue5Sv0P
「請問，這是英傑的家嗎？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrxR5VBiot
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrV3g7Zq9V
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqCsueLzaL
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcwiVT8QNt
「妳是…？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmGB39CJ3f
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYMPZOxOqL
「我是英傑的朋友，因為我一直聯絡不到他，所以…」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvBwPt3ALe
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8D3HxaJwzL
「妳找錯間了，這裡沒這個人！」她揮揮手，避開我的眼神。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpc2a57bNLK
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbIdYIbPSq
「我知道他被通緝！」在她準備關上裡面的木門前，我急著大喊。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Vz1TXHIRL
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVxlA3scxF
婦人停下動作，又把木門拉開了些。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOnAS3jD9U
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsWi0VRcXJ
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面，可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2zUTsJJzL
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNowKbkfYS0
「妳是他女朋友？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyq3f5XR6y
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHf7d4w02A
「不是，我不是，我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uqCgnQKiX
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7oygIYIkX
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooiQ1Z3gwJ
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBW0jhjMGq
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGcp3M8Lu4
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著，語氣平淡得不可思議。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbB7iGpNGte
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuGm10mA18
我一時語塞，沒能回話。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBFAtXqMsk
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUhQE7VkGD
「讓妳跑一趟，歹勢，英傑不在這裡，我也不知道他在哪裡。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeP5baXZlI3
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ106NipirJo
「那個…那，我可以留下我的手機，如果他有跟你們聯絡，請他跟我聯絡好嗎？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7dsHjEwUL
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzF1aDMtBI
婦人一臉不耐煩，我很尷尬，但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門，交到婦人手裡。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FmBfCUAeJ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1Aa9GnpGs
「小姐貴姓？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9mvbcmaHMD
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuRSkCyOft
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjt3XNJKw1
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVp4xPGBDxn
「………」婦人突然噤了聲，透過鐵門盯著我。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlaTUBC2PZ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzGbqLv0aE
「糟。」我心想。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1q9fqvO9i6
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsNKIBTJvx
她隨即關上木門。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeqqy7eZjw
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEppKmq4aT3
「她知道我是誰了。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMwWQNbvIZC
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1thfw0BpN
我當下便明白，不管英傑有沒有回到這裡，我都無法得知了。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBwLOTGtmw
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7jlXyhKhn
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCaYuEXiVz
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypagvDnWPm
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FfUskVwft
我不敢換手機號碼，睡覺時也不關機，就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtjFwVkkZz
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgb2PhP0IsH
就這樣升上了高中二年級，360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiQPrpu30v
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O1MGx6HhK
迎來了人生的轉折。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJjErs9GDv
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZbKeVZyDQj
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbGtjdQ0uY
父母親早在我國小時就已離異，但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開，便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大，幾乎是要什麼有什麼，生性霸道且極端任性，父親一生風流，基於愧疚或父愛，總寵著我，比起成天碎碎念的母親，我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghDpTwjkXY
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5clVZXO25
在高二那一年，父親生意失利，經營的公司惡性倒閉，再加上「賭」及「面子」，父親找上了地下錢莊。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOtIjvqE5V
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7ykOwAhpL
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoruwMk1lg
當我放學回家，看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼，我還沒能反應過來。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTD7Feqji3
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbrJBLSQqI
「都已經離婚了，為什麼還這樣拖累我！」
母親氣得哭了。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKfQiOsHxp
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6G4wCryCT
某天晚上，母親進來房間，告訴我，房子要賣掉了。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP7fDcMFSq
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHjf8fWFXa
他們離婚後，所買的房子仍是共有財產，父親要把房子賣掉，才能償還債務。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbSXlc1Sup
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRuWEIgSQQ
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重，跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家，就因為你，所以我的家就要這樣沒了！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbiS9JxcFo
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhWCWIs2QF
「那妳要我死是不是！」爸爸第一次吼我。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBDJ3L3r9b
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJOcbv1cj7
「我沒錢，地下錢莊說要砍我手腳，我讓他砍是不是！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04oEiRx41d
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq9deBTakV2
我嚇到了，沒能反駁。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjqOQ1UOlw
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvNEAqI3Kf
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友，那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的，所以他要搬出去，妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡，不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcIBVk7gNW
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeIW6ymx0G
我沒說話，看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親，便逕自走回房間。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzzALC1qKJ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ3KYbvGMd2
回到房間，想起國小五年級那天，母親到安親班接我和弟弟，把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了，妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權，弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳，妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開，所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6VIWMSz5f
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDD2xNwFAr
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94oDGXaBP7
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBHENY5eUni
我不能接受的，其實是家的破碎。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlu2ySLyUY
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrukj8G0n4H
因為一直都住在一起，所以沒有分離的感覺。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5kkwbJG1U
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEazF3zGZn6
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子，他弟弟出生後，就被虐待又被冷落，所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後，完全沒有再過問他們的生活，也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuklkV1QbCW
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡecAO25e7gk
「妳不要管我，反正我的監護權又不是妳！」
「是妳自己不要我的！」
某次和母親吵架，我說了這樣的話，害母親哭了整晚。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZJPWydf2oQ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMCVflX4Og
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00rAjMPADP
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJcQxQBAKp
「小姐貴姓？」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神，帶了驚訝及恨意。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQsVUAfQ6x
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlq9UBBnzAO
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運，其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳，妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字，看起來多麼傷心。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6E2xow8QL
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SfldkyfOp
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuATQ2lOrrL
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFM1LI0bBU8
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUDS01l58J
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3Wwvz2VTR
媽媽睡了之後，我走到客廳，父親盯著電視，卻兩眼無神。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGH6hUyaTX
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhQhKdvDlbP
「爸爸。」我喊他。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2hfOS8uw1
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0xsgjMU3a
父親抬頭看我。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcwhVCsMq3
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxdUgvCgkD
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8n3TBWl0g
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmzWzS8t4x
「我不知道。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGVKL1SccGs
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5GsLKMxxLp
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xZITBgM4m
「我和你一起搬走。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiFSAasjMV
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPizKpuSEP
我說出這句話的時候，爸爸一臉驚訝。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtozWszNGV
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQzlw13laJ
「真的嗎？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInMa2AWo8F
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTvXcsAGz09
「嗯。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGxDBBXuGj
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZMMSbBJJm
「…好啊。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIewsIbmRh
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzptoUg7Ad
「那我去睡了，爸爸晚安。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6h6TawDC03
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5OAcQnb85n
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQR1dK4VFy
那時，我只想著，父親一旦離開了，我可能再也見不到他。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfZNYVkOBr
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZuZDB6sik
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親，他仍是我的父親，從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPybAIQsnHH
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcRB0z4ll3
隔天，我便自己出門找房子。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UYyGuKp4c
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5g10dPTFjL
母親雖然擔心又不捨，但沒能阻止我的任性與固執，就還是陪著我找房子。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GN0Q0M9gZ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJcOlqoC6G
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處，因為我當時尚未成年，還是請父親來和房東簽合約，之後，我自己忙搬家，請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙，把所有的家具都搬到新住處。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYjGm7JE0X
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbi42u5eyR
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeoo6qF5pC
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非，我們搬家後沒多久，又有新的債主找上門。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVRVVKedrJ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY83gZNu6lV
那天，黑兔子（忘記她的人請往前看系列文）趁著假日到家裡玩，我們在房間聊天，父親在客廳看電視。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufGRyF6Wmp
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBItyQiokm
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候，有人按電鈴。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBFz0AFfds
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG7ynzvkMA
按了好幾聲，父親卻不去應門。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdGXfj0fX3
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ODhqaxVcS
我走到客廳，看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面，示意我不要出聲。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrWEOdmSyG
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9vsjDx44m
對方按了幾下電鈴，便開始撞門，接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWdb3QJyGn
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnZhFoiLjP
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到，悄聲問我怎麼回事，我覺得很丟臉，但還是告訴她，門外的是父親的債主，我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧，才會待在門外不走。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUP7CYrvXM
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMGSZyujlv
直到傍晚，我才戰戰兢兢的開門，送黑兔子到公車站搭車。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlBuxMmi28
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTGRCLmCyP
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhirjoHiav
那年發生的事情非常地多，我喜歡上了一個學長，但他卻用各種不同的方式，在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ofv3JvTC9
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLDw7fEEtY
但那是另一個故事了。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxHnGmZamLX
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8vTPGEBkr
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxeWOQqxZm
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt9DsPpyjqD
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78kShuPtBR
我就讀的學校是私立職校，學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢，付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGUFlOuDdQ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJxelxzFFd
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口，像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmbArEvYqB
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZZ6cc6Ni4
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯，但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心，又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoC5xNsIW4
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtUWnpPBqW
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjQVZUA2oD
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡，我很常想起英傑。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAaT8jqUxQ
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dPcJpLnrx
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢？360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzVdjooQTE
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡondDbCdkXi
難道逃出台灣了嗎？360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJpT9Br9x8P
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlHzYFF6L2
難道…真的死了嗎？360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZLtIoLbX4
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgN81zjSYt
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mmx1PWjuZ
一天晚上，我帶著傷痕回家，在家門前，我把運動外套拉起，確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門，想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3j60ql3czT
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNicKm1MUIb
但父親不在家。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dFyGkgkqW
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRS7vK1148d
撥了父親的電話，聽見那邊的麻將聲。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWN7VcJrDK
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJfGERLihE
我對父親大吼，卻被掛電話。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIskzMJxrsC
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU3Iwvdi3Tz
那一刻，我想著自己所做的一切。360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIL80ovJHPC
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3j3eLEkwz
「都是自己選的。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMN5cmpV8e
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfao4x77GLP
「沒人逼妳，都是妳自己選的。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9KucAgP3I
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsbj5SETdL
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMV3roigan
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBg5rw4JUX
「乾脆，去死好了。」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YIs2XOskc
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡam7cFVMl6q
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQid2IzTRgD
360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlqTbHAvlX
待續。
ns 15.158.61.15da2
