我站在門前許久，才忐忑不安的按下電鈴。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡve9dmB6eSd
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlET7YZl5V
出來應門的是個有些年紀的婦人。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtJEDfOu42
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayXZoWGhxZ
「請問，這是英傑的家嗎？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrdMsBuIqN
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaF97SYXbt2
婦人露出狐疑的眼神。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmmpEgBomV
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaWBZMregb
「妳是…？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7Ul1hryhE
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSq3wW9QIX
「我是英傑的朋友，因為我一直聯絡不到他，所以…」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JGia5UoGN
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDJgaQWJJ2
「妳找錯間了，這裡沒這個人！」她揮揮手，避開我的眼神。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8kYYMJ0ax
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQezFApcWQf
「我知道他被通緝！」在她準備關上裡面的木門前，我急著大喊。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi5VsNU4dB0
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi28LP4OhMd
婦人停下動作，又把木門拉開了些。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWjxaj8uFn
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPBJ79dX1h
「他被通緝的時候我們還見過面，可是之後就斷了聯絡。」我解釋。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwy3j4cuyi
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk6QCDmrCm2
「妳是他女朋友？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2v6oyuv3z
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSiTFQiHZW
「不是，我不是，我是…他朋友。」我沒敢說出自己的身份。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXivq92Suyu
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZBvHfqJW7
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEO7C5Fvq2
「他沒和我們聯絡也很久了。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMfdz6QdVTZ
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9U8SucpxZc
「還有人跟我說他死在外面了。」婦人用著台語說著，語氣平淡得不可思議。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFCCmrAIQk
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILAPXL9olv
我一時語塞，沒能回話。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr53R4Bf2Kd
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhqoM4vYjCd
「讓妳跑一趟，歹勢，英傑不在這裡，我也不知道他在哪裡。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkieTKwC49
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeb542RFcv
「那個…那，我可以留下我的手機，如果他有跟你們聯絡，請他跟我聯絡好嗎？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aPmZjVGcp
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH93iPi6Uog
婦人一臉不耐煩，我很尷尬，但還是厚臉皮的寫下自己的號碼塞過鐵門，交到婦人手裡。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmsaOa0SOuD
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XaQBnlrF0
「小姐貴姓？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXUBmp9kei
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xNbRr4m2g
「我姓豺。」我回得迅速。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPETGUbHdRm
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3q1aEYozC
「………」婦人突然噤了聲，透過鐵門盯著我。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuj4mpqOQg
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt37UR373f3
「糟。」我心想。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqz3N9eWUsN
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIgBG5KKdj
她隨即關上木門。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEexf0yQVwi
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2373YQPlMr
「她知道我是誰了。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6rqMBt8bV
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1cKIcQq5R
我當下便明白，不管英傑有沒有回到這裡，我都無法得知了。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ866ozFb7Ic
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCloXoMuaM
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrcaK7r5HU
唯一的線索就這麼斷了。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJY3fnK6DK
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuxO77P39I
我不敢換手機號碼，睡覺時也不關機，就怕漏接了英傑打來的電話。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwxLWdJ4qi
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94dYidwcok
就這樣升上了高中二年級，366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWWTh1T09D
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1rexspohz
迎來了人生的轉折。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffLXusbEjN
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKl0QJDCZy
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaQWH2WFrE
父母親早在我國小時就已離異，但他們為了不讓我和弟弟分開，便還是住在一起。我在一個富裕的家庭長大，幾乎是要什麼有什麼，生性霸道且極端任性，父親一生風流，基於愧疚或父愛，總寵著我，比起成天碎碎念的母親，我覺得自己比較愛爸爸。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRxdMatEOA
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1IYQUPv2m
在高二那一年，父親生意失利，經營的公司惡性倒閉，再加上「賭」及「面子」，父親找上了地下錢莊。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nRq3ENlYh
「家道中落」似乎是一瞬間的事。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaILHqBKRff
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Bzg88spPh
當我放學回家，看見債主找人在家門用噴漆寫上的字眼，我還沒能反應過來。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9hDBtFvRK
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLw6oI4AE60
「都已經離婚了，為什麼還這樣拖累我！」
母親氣得哭了。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwvVR0rfIHl
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpfW5uQXSg
某天晚上，母親進來房間，告訴我，房子要賣掉了。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPpWlWNRAh
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IF5fiwG4M
他們離婚後，所買的房子仍是共有財產，父親要把房子賣掉，才能償還債務。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2l970vqFw
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2FxvQILDh
我還沒能了解事態的嚴重，跑到客廳跟低著頭的父親大吼「這是我長大的家，就因為你，所以我的家就要這樣沒了！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjdc83fvI6
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASf28ylVXv
「那妳要我死是不是！」爸爸第一次吼我。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlLVLQkYhN
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDqrTfbxnA
「我沒錢，地下錢莊說要砍我手腳，我讓他砍是不是！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZwPoKJLt2
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXJ1HGpzDh
我嚇到了，沒能反駁。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QR5y6CYVy
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEl93QvH2ly
「房子要賣給媽媽的朋友，那個朋友說可以再租給媽媽。因為是妳爸爸要賣的，所以他要搬出去，妳就跟媽媽和弟弟繼續住在這裡，不用搬家。」
母親在旁緩頰。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Cldy1RV5y
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PLaNfPCAs
我沒說話，看了看坐在沙發上的父親與一旁滿臉擔憂的母親，便逕自走回房間。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQiLkIlQ7S
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdN2mVodNi
回到房間，想起國小五年級那天，母親到安親班接我和弟弟，把我拉到一旁說的話。
「媽媽今天和爸爸去辦離婚了，妳爸爸堅持要其中一個小孩的監護權，弟弟又還小…所以妳的監護權是爸爸。媽媽不是不要妳，妳不要擔心。我們也說好不會讓妳跟弟弟分開，所以我們大家還是會住在一起喔！」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSIZiXaN0i
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdHEJI8Zzf
我突然明白自己不能接受房子賣掉的原因是什麼。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJDtgTXAdF
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNn0lXE9dw
我不能接受的，其實是家的破碎。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8c4mw9ooY
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4DvcT6F5N
因為一直都住在一起，所以沒有分離的感覺。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq49VDdd0hd
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj0veR96YdV
「妳爸爸是一個無情的人。」
「因為小時候是養子，他弟弟出生後，就被虐待又被冷落，所以就連阿公過世也沒回去奔喪。」
「他和前一個老婆離婚之後，完全沒有再過問他們的生活，也從來沒去看過他以前的小孩。」
母親曾這麼說過。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPSvpLYwX1
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkW83CB2eO2
「妳不要管我，反正我的監護權又不是妳！」
「是妳自己不要我的！」
某次和母親吵架，我說了這樣的話，害母親哭了整晚。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0W6lq6C5g4
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFMi916Nx0
「去和妳媽媽道歉。」
「她沒有不要妳。」
那天晚上父親走到房間嚴厲地說。
而他根本很少命令我做什麼。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxeM7PdzNg
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH76LBlUkXY
「小姐貴姓？」
「我姓豺。」
關上門前那婦人的眼神，帶了驚訝及恨意。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdaXtASrvke
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPTxGSOjgg
「以前我會怪別人、怪命運，其實我不能怪誰。」
「曾有一段時間我忌妒妳，妳擁有我未曾擁有的一切。」
「現在我誰也不怪了。」
紙上那美麗的字，看起來多麼傷心。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl7odNWg7d
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQupz2vX8vm
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJDW4Pg3R3
我的腦中閃現了許許多多回憶。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKzr9FocJR
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSzoizya6P
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMsCEJXy24
媽媽睡了之後，我走到客廳，父親盯著電視，卻兩眼無神。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTck2OhewbS
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo5QMVri7h
「爸爸。」我喊他。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlj83ajaTek
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS45J22ZoEZ
父親抬頭看我。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62Ov98eyPV
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxUfEIYQPI
「你搬出去之後要去哪裡？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsz0linKQk
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfuVJQqjrPT
「我不知道。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7NJ9fW0AP
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1yarZa7nO
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pGse9uSse
「我和你一起搬走。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtS71oSLgup
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2X3EiaB6qY
我說出這句話的時候，爸爸一臉驚訝。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcILNzqxHxC
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTwUAq2oYAR
「真的嗎？」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwELXj5HrId
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFpWpqNvJV
「嗯。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWSyc6yv67
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRumhEvkxV
「…好啊。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBbqejabBD
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3MF5YTZ6r
「那我去睡了，爸爸晚安。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77BpPPKloE
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89NNYBM4cM
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBlIUzR7Zt
那時，我只想著，父親一旦離開了，我可能再也見不到他。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaqaqrdwsB
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDYlIndUJK
即使他不是個好兒子、好丈夫或稱職的父親，他仍是我的父親，從來都捨不得打我罵我的父親。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpA2magERX
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUh2QHMD5ZU
隔天，我便自己出門找房子。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43mAaq46yx
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8Oqg5JXQ1
母親雖然擔心又不捨，但沒能阻止我的任性與固執，就還是陪著我找房子。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzlGtiTrxa
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGmtS9m6rI
我們在離家不遠的地方找到新住處，因為我當時尚未成年，還是請父親來和房東簽合約，之後，我自己忙搬家，請了開貨車的親戚與國中同學幫忙，把所有的家具都搬到新住處。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrUeq6Dvdw
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpVQ9WBPbp
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qb2pdXTak
然而父親沒有因此痛改前非，我們搬家後沒多久，又有新的債主找上門。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwDkcfuBNH
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5YA21oymy
那天，黑兔子（忘記她的人請往前看系列文）趁著假日到家裡玩，我們在房間聊天，父親在客廳看電視。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98l3rS5tKU
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3rEEtLv5N
正嘻嘻哈哈的時候，有人按電鈴。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0DrT9aKdF
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VyyRrwubs
按了好幾聲，父親卻不去應門。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2i3mL79e7
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6w0wD2rEp
我走到客廳，看見父親把手指舉在嘴巴前面，示意我不要出聲。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKuLGbTHXgV
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBjZfiKBmH
對方按了幾下電鈴，便開始撞門，接著大聲咆哮、怒罵三字經。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5hmAOg57q
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdC96BNjTtQ
房間裡的黑兔子嚇到，悄聲問我怎麼回事，我覺得很丟臉，但還是告訴她，門外的是父親的債主，我們得裝做不在家…但是債主大概早就猜到我們假裝不在家吧，才會待在門外不走。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshQySZDRdR
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhUK7aq9qs
直到傍晚，我才戰戰兢兢的開門，送黑兔子到公車站搭車。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvERdaTPkyl
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKwJPJYGVz
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3GJM8pb7w
那年發生的事情非常地多，我喜歡上了一個學長，但他卻用各種不同的方式，在我的身上、心上都留下殘酷的疤痕。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wkasBkm6H
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAwPjDSeE9
但那是另一個故事了。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64sa0SoCZe
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0AvqSDiTo
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQ5GavxyPR
我和父親常常為了錢的事情吵架。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3O86RWUoW
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLJjaP5rgwv
我就讀的學校是私立職校，學費非常地貴。而我放學後在賣場打工所賺的錢，付了生活所需的開銷以後幾乎所剩無幾。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuv5EODmAR
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBn53XMzXV
那些茶來伸手、飯來張口，像個公主的日子彷彿離自己已經非常遙遠。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXD57EvApr
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdj921kneYJ
我偶爾會回去媽媽家吃飯，但絕口不提自己為錢煩惱的事。也許是怕母親擔心，又也許是怕母親責怪父親吧。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TeqzHXxNY
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa69dzV1VY
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbv3rPKYs1
在那些身心俱疲的日子裡，我很常想起英傑。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmHVObNTn3o
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLYVpTqK39
為什麼一直都沒有和我聯絡呢？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdL9kzhIcUF
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ683kTAHmIR
難道逃出台灣了嗎？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ge4reBI9U
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztK9rEyREF
難道…真的死了嗎？366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSUr6Z2ams
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxd8lMH2Ko
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FbL7hJbiN
一天晚上，我帶著傷痕回家，在家門前，我把運動外套拉起，確定不會被看見痕跡之後進門，想著自己為什麼這樣找罪受。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsSw6mlFqf
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1eT49mDRc
但父親不在家。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsGg8nYccc
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkNWBWN3Wj
撥了父親的電話，聽見那邊的麻將聲。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOn1On7rPHv
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpICAJ8Ajzf
我對父親大吼，卻被掛電話。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡby8h61V4aZ
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OGcSEKoDf
那一刻，我想著自己所做的一切。366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBD4LRJhoY
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIFDoUK7yT
「都是自己選的。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpF1hjObOqY
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49KU2jPVZo
「沒人逼妳，都是妳自己選的。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRUyvJKfC5
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNqxrmRsl5
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKUrTbleWV
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4g75hFaskL
「乾脆，去死好了。」366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUyiXCzu7D4
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZdIbuc2is
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDa6XzUiCQ
366Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDA6FovZlY6
待續。
ns 15.158.61.16da2
